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Thread: When you just *have* to make a joke

  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by astrotimer View Post
    From an old monster talk episode:
    with the increase population density increases in Europe all the trolls have to live on the internet.
    Critics were trolls before trolling was cool. (Can I get two thumbs up for that one?)

  2. #62
    than wouldn't everyone be a troll.
    ...I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.
    You cannot run away from the truth, the world is not big enough. DI Jack Frost
    Don't Panic THGTTG
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Einstein
    http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by astrotimer View Post
    than wouldn't everyone be a troll.
    I don't criticize people. I don't care if their feet stink or their mother dresses them funny, that's their problem. One of many, obviously. But it's not my place to point out the obvious.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by slang View Post
    How did Einstein connect mass and the speed of light?



    Multiplication, but I suppose that's not vague enough.
    Sorry, I was on a relativistic voyage and the past few months just took a couple of seconds.

    He used string to connect mass and the speed of light.

    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by swampyankee View Post
    Sorry, I was on a relativistic voyage and the past few months just took a couple of seconds.

    He used string to connect mass and the speed of light.
    Grace Hopper used to pass out nanoseconds.

  6. #66
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    VP Mike Pence Lays Out Administration’s Plan to go Back to the Moon

    Sir: if you're really suggesting that the current Administration consists of homesick Moon People, this belongs under "conspiracy theories."

  7. #67
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    I like parody threads, but TPTB would garrote me for doing that too often.

    Which reminds me of that one thread, "Really trivial stuff that abuses you..."

  8. #68
    Quote Originally Posted by Noisy Rhysling View Post
    I like parody threads, but TPTB would garrote me for doing that too often.

    Which reminds me of that one thread, "Really trivial stuff that abuses you..."
    The first entry I would have is life.
    ...I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.
    You cannot run away from the truth, the world is not big enough. DI Jack Frost
    Don't Panic THGTTG
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Einstein
    http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by astrotimer View Post
    The first entry I would have is life.
    You wouldn't need more than one in that case.

  10. #70
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    North Sentinel is an island in the Bay of Bengal. It is about the size of Manhattan Island. Its inhabitants ... have very little to do with the outside world. No-one else understands their language, nor do they understand languages spoken elsewhere.
    Sounds just like Manhattan to me!

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by DonM435 View Post
    North Sentinel is an island in the Bay of Bengal. It is about the size of Manhattan Island. Its inhabitants ... have very little to do with the outside world. No-one else understands their language, nor do they understand languages spoken elsewhere.
    Sounds just like Manhattan to me!
    The primary language of Manhattan is everything.

  12. #72
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    I should have noted that I was quoting from :

    https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthr...02#post2426602

  13. #73
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    If Sun went pear-shaped
    Leads naturally, at least in my head to

    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  14. #74
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    I didn't know where to put this, but it was too good not to share

    Fireflies in a bottle
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  15. #75
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    I worry that if I make this joke on my sailing fanblog people will assume it's meant to be insulting, when it's just me being very silly...

    After winning a gold medal at the Rio Olympics and the America's Cup in Bermuda this past May, this week New Zealand sailing prodigy Peter Burling embarks on the round-the-world Volvo Ocean Race as a member of Team Brunel. As many speculate about whether Mr. Burling will become the first person to be part of a winning crew in all three events, others wonder where the young man's uncanny talent and skill originate. However, one need look no farther than Mr. Burling's birthdate for an explanation-- January 1st, 1991.

    You will recall, of course, that for a variety of reasons many people around the world feared that modern civilization would collapse on the 1st of January, 2000, Mr. Burling's ninth birthday, and that the number nine holds a variety of significant mythological associations. A glance at the world map will reveal that New Zealand, owing to its position near the International Date Line, was one of the first countries to enter the year 2000, and, in fact, some people believed that it would be where the destruction would begin.

    Therefore, our happy conclusion must be that with a loving family and a happy upbringing in a beautiful part of the world, prophecies can be thwarted, and even a Herald of the Apocalypse can live a pleasant and constructive life, turning their inhuman talents instead to the productive service of their nation. Instead of ending the world, Mr. Burling celebrated his ninth birthday, we presume, with cake and ice cream.
    Last edited by KaiYeves; 2017-Oct-25 at 12:03 AM.

  16. #76
    Aliens don't use windows they use a mac.
    ...I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.
    You cannot run away from the truth, the world is not big enough. DI Jack Frost
    Don't Panic THGTTG
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Einstein
    http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  17. #77
    Quantin tarantino is going to direct the next Star Wars movie, I wonder if it will space Pirates because it will be rated, ARRR.
    ...I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.
    You cannot run away from the truth, the world is not big enough. DI Jack Frost
    Don't Panic THGTTG
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Einstein
    http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  18. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by astrotimer View Post
    Quantin tarantino is going to direct the next Star Wars movie, I wonder if it will space Pirates because it will be rated, ARRR.
    OOOOO!

    On another note, in the which moon is this thread, the photo could be from any number of places in the North East United States.
    Solfe

  19. #79
    or east Canada.
    ...I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.
    You cannot run away from the truth, the world is not big enough. DI Jack Frost
    Don't Panic THGTTG
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Einstein
    http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  20. #80
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    Can you imagine what Tom Manzanec was like as a five year old?
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  21. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noisy Rhysling View Post
    The primary language of Manhattan is everything.
    I can't think of a good joke from that. It's just too close to true.


    (According to this site, over 200 languages are spoken in the city, and NYC has been dealing with that sort of issue for well over a century. In another article on the topic, the Endangered Language Alliance is hunting the streets of New York for languages that are dying out in their native lands. They also mention that the estimate of 200 is low, and that there may be as many as 800 languages spoken in NYC.

    One of the most surprising things I ever read was there were several thousand Mexican immigrants, people who were born and reared in Mexico, who did not speak Spanish. We could probably repopulate the world from NYC without losing too much diversity.)
    Last edited by swampyankee; 2018-Jan-07 at 01:50 PM.

    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  22. #82
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    (Unless you have been following a particular thread this won't make much sense)

    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    gzhpcu, keep in mind that this "image" will not be a visible light photograph, but a radio wavelength image (translated into visible wavelengths for human eyeballs).
    But will there be an echo of the original wavelength...

  23. #83
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    Is cold weather bad for my telescope?

    If that's what you're calling it these days, then, yes.

  24. #84
    This was an idea for a t-shirt,"astronomers know how to use their 16 inchers."
    (the telescope was 16 inches.)
    Last edited by The Backroad Astronomer; 2018-Jan-11 at 10:52 PM.
    ...I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.
    You cannot run away from the truth, the world is not big enough. DI Jack Frost
    Don't Panic THGTTG
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Einstein
    http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  25. #85
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    Is the universe static

    Apparently so. I got a bigger antenna, and tried to tune it in, but I still only get static.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  26. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    Is the universe static

    Apparently so. I got a bigger antenna, and tried to tune it in, but I still only get static.
    Did you try cleaning the pigeon droppings from your antenna?

  27. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by schlaugh View Post
    Did you try cleaning the pigeon droppings from your antenna?
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  28. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by astrotimer View Post
    This was an idea for a t-shirt,"astronomers know how to use their 16 inchers."
    (the telescope was 16 inches.)
    Do they generally operate those telescopes themselves?

  29. #89
    Quote Originally Posted by skymapper View Post
    Do they generally operate those telescopes themselves?
    Telescope is used mostly for teaching purposes, so many of the undergrads do at least.
    ...I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.
    You cannot run away from the truth, the world is not big enough. DI Jack Frost
    Don't Panic THGTTG
    Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Einstein
    http://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  30. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by skymapper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by astrotimer View Post
    This was an idea for a t-shirt,"astronomers know how to use their 16 inchers."
    (the telescope was 16 inches.)
    Do they generally operate those telescopes themselves?
    Not if they're lucky.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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