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Thread: When you just *have* to make a joke

  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by DonM435 View Post
    Yes, there were a couple of generations there that thought the World-War-inspired buzz-cuts (you had to keep clean in foxholes) were the only acceptable haircut for real men, and some of us had to fight that belief throughout our school and working careers. If you showed 'em a picture of George Washington or Thomas Jefferson or some Civil War hero (not to mention that guy Jesus), they'd dismiss it out of hand, like those characters didn't know any better. The long hair made the boys look like girls, and that was evil! However, if you let your beard grow a bit, surely something that would set the men apart, that was just as bad.
    Ah yes long hair in the 1970's, which I had, was always fun with older people.The main tragedy for me is that I had more hair in just one of my big sideburns then than I have on top of my shiny head now.

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by peteshimmon View Post
    I suppose everyone makes the perfect comment in their lifetime.
    I, unfortunately, chose entirely the wrong moment for mine.
    Back in the day when I was a medical student, the students were seen as part of the team - in particular, during a surgical attachment, you were relied on to assist during surgery.
    So I turned up one day when my team was running two operating lists, senior registrar in one operating theatre, consultant in the other. And I was nabbed by the SR to assist with his minor surgical list. We'd just completed the first operation (a circumcision), when one of the surgical team from the neighbouring theatre came through to report that the (notoriously irrascible) consultant surgeon was demanding to know where "his" medical student had gone, because he needed an extra pair of hands for a tricky splenectomy. This, of course, trumped the SR's need for assistance, so I went through to report to the (by now very irate) consultant, who was already in the middle of surgery.
    "Where the hell have you been?" he demanded, as soon as I walked in the door of the theatre (which contained about ten other members of staff, all watching to see how this drama played out).
    "Doing a circumcision," I reported, pointing towards the neighbouring theatre, keen to make clear that: a) I hadn't just wandered in late for work; and b) my absence was really the senior registrar's fault.
    "Doing a circumcision?" echoed the consultant, in a sarcastic sing-song. "What? On your own?"
    Now, that sort of bully-boy behaviour has always really hacked me off. So I smiled brightly and replied, "No. On someone else's."

    My relationship with that consultant never recovered, but I found myself strangely popular with pretty much everyone else in that small hospital, once the story got out.

    Grant Hutchison
    Blog

    Note:
    During life, we all develop attitudes and strategies to make our interactions with others more pleasant and useful. If I mention mine here, those comments can apply only to myself, my experiences and my situation. Such remarks cannot and should not be construed as dismissing, denigrating, devaluing or criticizing any different attitudes and strategies that other people have evolved as a result of their different situation and different experiences.

  3. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozduck View Post
    Ah yes long hair in the 1970's, which I had, was always fun with older people.The main tragedy for me is that I had more hair in just one of my big sideburns then than I have on top of my shiny head now.
    That's me as well. And, of course, what hair I do have is now a different color.

    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    I, unfortunately, chose entirely the wrong moment for mine.
    Back in the day when I was a medical student, the students were seen as part of the team - in particular, during a surgical attachment, you were relied on to assist during surgery.
    So I turned up one day when my team was running two operating lists, senior registrar in one operating theatre, consultant in the other. And I was nabbed by the SR to assist with his minor surgical list. We'd just completed the first operation (a circumcision), when one of the surgical team from the neighbouring theatre came through to report that the (notoriously irrascible) consultant surgeon was demanding to know where "his" medical student had gone, because he needed an extra pair of hands for a tricky splenectomy. This, of course, trumped the SR's need for assistance, so I went through to report to the (by now very irate) consultant, who was already in the middle of surgery.
    "Where the hell have you been?" he demanded, as soon as I walked in the door of the theatre (which contained about ten other members of staff, all watching to see how this drama played out).
    "Doing a circumcision," I reported, pointing towards the neighbouring theatre, keen to make clear that: a) I hadn't just wandered in late for work; and b) my absence was really the senior registrar's fault.
    "Doing a circumcision?" echoed the consultant, in a sarcastic sing-song. "What? On your own?"
    Now, that sort of bully-boy behaviour has always really hacked me off. So I smiled brightly and replied, "No. On someone else's."

    My relationship with that consultant never recovered, but I found myself strangely popular with pretty much everyone else in that small hospital, once the story got out.

    Grant Hutchison
    I LOVE that story!
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  4. #124
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    The weight of a light bulb

    Well... it has to be pretty light, or it would be a heavy bulb.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  5. #125
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    Okay peeps, how long until Dave Lee finally drives Shaula insane and Shaula becomes a super villain ala Chief Inspector Dreyfus of the Pink Panther series?

    Anybody?
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigDon View Post
    Okay peeps, how long until Dave Lee finally drives Shaula insane and Shaula becomes a super villain ala Chief Inspector Dreyfus of the Pink Panther series?

    Anybody?
    No, that is not an appropriate topic for discussion.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    Or, I guess, you may have a better volumetric memory than I do. A modern plastic "pint" bottle actually contains 500ml, whereas the imperial pint in the old glass bottles was 568ml.

    I think I could tell those apart, side by side, even allowing for the different shape and wall thickness of the containers. But I suspect it's beyond my ability to judge from memory.

    Grant Hutchison
    Which then begs the question;

    "If a centipede a pint and a velocipede a gallon, how much could a precipice?"

    Or maybe not.
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  8. #128
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    Another question!

    How come Englanders can only hold 5 or 6 pints when it looks like they should be able to 8 or 9?
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  9. #129
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    The Rothmans' Mars thread...

    Alright! The hommes is ready to throw down and post!

    Haven't looked forward to a good conspiracy thread since the mods cut out all the 9/11 posts and restricted conspiracies to space only!
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  10. #130
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    Whenever I read one of Shaula's mathematically technical replies I feel I should be out twig fishing for termites.

    Anybody else get that?
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  11. #131
    Some peoples posts make me feel like the termite.
    From the wilderness to the cosmos.
    You can not be afraid of the wind, Enterprise: Broken Bow.
    https://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  12. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Backroad Astronomer View Post
    Some peoples posts make me feel like the termite.
    Hey! I have a nice, tasty, chewed twig for you...
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  13. #133
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    Does front yard wildlife count? Because there are orcas in the bay in front of my house!


    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    We even allow side yard and overflights.
    And I thought flying *cows* were a bad idea! A large male orca can weigh six to eight TONS! A really large cow, not so much.

    We're going to need bigger beach umbrellas...
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  14. #134
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    (Darn I seem to have muffed Treb's quote box.)
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  15. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigDon View Post
    (Darn I seem to have muffed Treb's quote box.)
    No worries, you've got a bay as well!
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  16. #136
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    Hey Swift!

    Dr. Grant and the others are making words up again! And then pretending they're real! Probably went into cahoots via the PM system!

    I only suspected with "Qualia" and "Quale" but then Dr. G overplayed his hand with "grue" and "bleen".

    Yeeaahh, I'm watching you guys...
    Time wasted having fun is not time wasted - Lennon
    (John, not the other one.)

  17. #137
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    It is dark. You have been eaten by a grue.

    ETA: And having just scanned the thread, I find myself astounded that it has gone 26 posts without "If a tree falls in the forest...." Which is actually the subject of the thread.
    Last edited by Trebuchet; 2018-Jun-11 at 11:03 PM.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  18. #138
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    Quantum of time

    Was that the James Bond with Halle Berry. or is that the one where M gets killed?
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  19. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    Quantum of time

    Was that the James Bond with Halle Berry. or is that the one where M gets killed?
    I was thinking the exact same thing! Halle Berry I would think.
    Solfe

  20. #140
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    Tom's Ray Gun thread in S&T reminds me of this Charles Addam's cartoon

    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  21. #141
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    Click image for larger version. 

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  22. #142
    At the auction sometimes when I bring up something like a wheelbarrow the auctioneer will point to me and goes "it comes with one horsepower".
    From the wilderness to the cosmos.
    You can not be afraid of the wind, Enterprise: Broken Bow.
    https://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  23. #143
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    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  24. #144
    Are you positive.
    From the wilderness to the cosmos.
    You can not be afraid of the wind, Enterprise: Broken Bow.
    https://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  25. #145
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    Negative, Ghostrider.
    Forum Rules►  ◄FAQ►  ◄ATM Forum Advice►  ◄Conspiracy Advice
    Click http://cosmoquest.org/forum/images/buttons/report-40b.png to report a post (even this one) to the moderation team.


    Man is a tool-using animal. Nowhere do you find him without tools; without tools he is nothing, with tools he is all. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

  26. #146
    Would a fake pho be called a pho pas.
    From the wilderness to the cosmos.
    You can not be afraid of the wind, Enterprise: Broken Bow.
    https://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  27. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Backroad Astronomer View Post
    Would a fake pho be called a pho pas.
    Of course not. It would be a faux pho.
    Conserve energy. Commute with the Hamiltonian.

  28. #148
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    Reading one of the ATM threads made me think of the mock definition, "Tautology: See Tautology".

    No, no it doesn't work like that.
    Solfe

  29. #149
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    I think that's "recursion."

    "To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion."

  30. #150
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    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

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