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Thread: Really trivial stuff that amuses you...

  1. #9001
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    Quote Originally Posted by profloater View Post
    It would be nice if they included some irony like "if you did not read this label please let us know on social media"
    At various points in my professional life, when I have had to do particular signs or memos that I knew no one would read, I've put little messages in like that.

    For example, at one job, I used to have to post these charts monthly that showed our progress on various tracking parameters, like yields. On one of these charts I once inserted the message "If you tell me you saw this, I'll give you $1". It was well into the following month before one of the supervisors said something to me about it, mostly as a joke. I handed him a dollar; his reaction was shock that it had been weeks and he was the first one to say something to me.

    In one of my April monthly reports I once reported "I have discovered a process for turning lead into gold, but since that is not consistent with any of my current goals or projects, I will not report on it further".
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  2. #9002
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    At various points in my professional life, when I have had to do particular signs or memos that I knew no one would read, I've put little messages in like that.

    For example, at one job, I used to have to post these charts monthly that showed our progress on various tracking parameters, like yields. On one of these charts I once inserted the message "If you tell me you saw this, I'll give you $1". It was well into the following month before one of the supervisors said something to me about it, mostly as a joke. I handed him a dollar; his reaction was shock that it had been weeks and he was the first one to say something to me.

    In one of my April monthly reports I once reported "I have discovered a process for turning lead into gold, but since that is not consistent with any of my current goals or projects, I will not report on it further".
    lovely,

    It's a long time since I had internal memos in a big organisation. I was in aerospace for a while and can confirm that there was a sign on some crates which said "it is essential that these warheads are stored upside down so to avoid confusion the top has been labelled the bottom, and the bottom the top.
    There was also often a message from flight testing when I was seconded there a while that had things like "...this situation will continue thanks to Murray's law." Murray was a great guy in that department who for example rigged up a radio receiver using two channels of an oscilloscope so he could hear the cricket scores. Anyway as a junior I plucked up courage to ask what his Law was. "Every organisation continues to do the same things regardless of evidence unless given a mighty kick up the backside" Maybe there were stronger terms in there.
    sicut vis videre esto
    When we realize that patterns don't exist in the universe, they are a template that we hold to the universe to make sense of it, it all makes a lot more sense.
    Originally Posted by Ken G

  3. #9003
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    Every time I write to my Congresspeople, having worked in a Congressional office, I’m tempted to write “P.S. Do they still have those great cobb salad wraps in the Rayburn cafeteria?” But then I feel the staff wouldn’t take the rest of my message seriously.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  4. #9004
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    In my working life in a Government Department (at that time in charge of the state Commercial Intelligence - Imports & Exports section) I Had to contribute to a monthly report which was circulated throughout the department. As was the norm no-one took much notice of it. So I used a Dilbert Buzzword Generator and announced that my area had formed a "Proactive Synergy Restructure Team" - the sad thing is that no-one called me out on it.

  5. #9005
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    I used to have to assemble manuals with those inevitable "This page intentionally blank" pages in them, used to keep the numbering straight and to avoid any really blank pages which might look like bad printing.

    In drafts, after several of those, I'd vary the message:

    "This page intentionally obscure."
    "This page inadvertently blank!"
    "This page unintentionally boring."
    "This page unfortunately meaningless."
    "This page inexplicably upside down!" (And it really was.)
    "Oxymoronic warning: this page intentionally blank. Yeah, right."

    And so on. Nobody took any notice.

  6. #9006
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    Quote Originally Posted by DonM435 View Post
    I used to have to assemble manuals with those inevitable "This page intentionally blank" pages in them, used to keep the numbering straight and to avoid any really blank pages which might look like bad printing.

    In drafts, after several of those, I'd vary the message:

    "This page intentionally obscure."
    "This page inadvertently blank!"
    "This page unintentionally boring."
    "This page unfortunately meaningless."
    "This page inexplicably upside down!" (And it really was.)
    "Oxymoronic warning: this page intentionally blank. Yeah, right."

    And so on. Nobody took any notice.
    If I ever have the need for such a blank page, I may have to use one of those.

    I was chair of the local branch of an environmental group for several years. In one April's minutes, I wrote that I was drafting a resolution to change the title of "Chair" to "Ulan, the All Being". The one person who noticed thought it a sarcastic, but serious request for more help.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  7. #9007
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    I read once where Isaac Asimov said that he had to correct his publisher, who wanted to put text on the cover of "Foundation's Edge" declaring it "The Fourth Book in the Foundation Trilogy". He said that, in retrospect, he wished he'd just kept his mouth shut and let them do it, just for the humor of it.

    "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish" was designated "The Fourth Book in the Hitch-Hiker's Trilogy". The cover of "Mostly Harmless" said "The Fifth Book in the Increasingly Inaccurately Named Hitchhikers Trilogy".
    Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn

  8. #9008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    I was chair of the local branch of an environmental group for several years. In one April's minutes, I wrote that I was drafting a resolution to change the title of "Chair" to "Ulan, the All Being". The one person who noticed thought it a sarcastic, but serious request for more help.
    I wrote and maintained our departmental rostering software, which we used for about 15 years before I migrated us to a cloud-based commercial system during the run-up to my retirement.
    When I orginally set it up, I wrote a little section into the file-deletion subroutine, which followed the customary "Are you sure?" message with "Are you really sure?", "Are you really, really sure?" and "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but do you want to talk to someone else before you do this?" This was invoked randomly for one in a thousand file deletions. I completely forgot about it (file deletion wasn't necessary often), until years later I got a text message when I was on holiday in Italy. The rota organizer had been alarmed by the software "suddenly acting funny" when she tried to delete a file. She knew I was away, but wondered if there was anyone else she could contact for help. So I texted back, "Sorry about that. Try again. Think I've fixed it."
    It became legendary that I'd been able to fix the rota program (which was housed on a computer with no internet access) using only ... well, a mobile phone and magic, I suppose.

    Grant Hutchison
    Blog

    Note:
    During life, we all develop attitudes and strategies to make our interactions with others more pleasant and useful. If I mention mine here, those comments can apply only to myself, my experiences and my situation. Such remarks cannot and should not be construed as dismissing, denigrating, devaluing or criticizing any different attitudes and strategies that other people have evolved as a result of their different situation and different experiences.

  9. #9009
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    I have to create and share a Google Slides file and matching Google Form for a technology in social studies education class. The forms and slides have to contain data which should be social studies themed, but doesn't have to be anything of significance. I see my classmates creating Slides about the first five presidents and then a form which is a test on the first 5 presidents. Some of the information is gibberish.

    I am tempted to make the Slides file "The History of Wakanda". It has it's own Wikipedia page, complete with maps. The form almost writes itself.

    The battle cry of Wakanda is:
    a) Wakanda Today
    b) Wakanda Tomorrow
    c) Wakanda Forever

    What do the runes on the Black Panther's suit say?
    a) Wakanda Forever
    b) Proud Sponsor of Capt. America
    c) I love you, mom

    Traditional Wakandan footwear is:
    a) Sneakers
    b) Boots
    c) Open toed sandals
    Last edited by Solfe; 2018-Sep-16 at 05:02 AM.
    Solfe

  10. #9010
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    In a dream last night, I was planning to post in the "Bugs Me" thread because only half a dozen people were watching when I won an Olympic gold medal. The event was crossing a street.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  11. #9011
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    I would have overcome my disinterest in watching sports to watch you compete in the Olympics, Treb.
    _____________________________________________
    Gillian

    "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

    "You can't erase icing."

    "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

  12. #9012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    In a dream last night, I was planning to post in the "Bugs Me" thread because only half a dozen people were watching when I won an Olympic gold medal. The event was crossing a street.
    The Olympics are scheduled to add the "Crossing a Street" event (along with "Running Around the Block") circa 2032.

  13. #9013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    In a dream last night, I was planning to post in the "Bugs Me" thread because only half a dozen people were watching when I won an Olympic gold medal. The event was crossing a street.
    Nice dream, but we all know The Chicken takes the gold, year after year.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  14. #9014
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    I was reading Universe Today. I looked away for a moment and when I glanced back at the computer the webcam was on. Or so I thought looking at this image.

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	1024px-Artists_impression_of_the_planet_Ross_128_b.jpg 
Views:	19 
Size:	123.5 KB 
ID:	23579

    Man, I wish I had hair.
    Solfe

  15. #9015
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    The dumb stuff tech companies do to try to engage with their customers.

    The Boon Companion, for reasons unknown, lets her phone send her photos to the iCloud. But given that she uses an SLR for her "real" photos, there aren't many images on her phone. She recently received a notification from Apple that she had "new memories", with a link to a short video entitled something like "Highlights of 2017". To frenetic music, this cycled through her pictures from 2017 - three bus timetables, an interpretive map board, a dog bite, an amusingly named Icelandic icecream van, and a short video of Marquesan dancers.
    Artificial Idiots.

    Grant Hutchison
    Last edited by grant hutchison; 2018-Sep-17 at 04:36 PM.
    Blog

    Note:
    During life, we all develop attitudes and strategies to make our interactions with others more pleasant and useful. If I mention mine here, those comments can apply only to myself, my experiences and my situation. Such remarks cannot and should not be construed as dismissing, denigrating, devaluing or criticizing any different attitudes and strategies that other people have evolved as a result of their different situation and different experiences.

  16. #9016
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    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    The dumb stuff tech companies do to try to engage with their customers.

    The Boon Companion, for reasons unknown, lets her phone send her photos to the iCloud. But given that she uses an SLR for her "real" photos, there aren't many images on her phone. She recently received a notification from Apple that she had "new memories", with a link to a short video entitled something like "Highlights of 2017". To frenetic music, this cycled through her pictures from 2017 - three bus timetables, an interpretive map board, a dog bite, an amusingly named Icelandic icecream van, and a short video of Marquesan dancers.
    Artificial Idiots.

    Grant Hutchison


    I don't know, bus timetables set to music could only be an improvement, versus ordinary, non-musical timetables.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  17. #9017
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    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    [A] short video entitled something like "Highlights of 2017". To frenetic music, this cycled through her pictures from 2017 - three bus timetables, an interpretive map board, a dog bite, an amusingly named Icelandic icecream van, and a short video of Marquesan dancers.
    Now that sounds like art.
    Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn

  18. #9018
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    Is it true that all it takes to turn something into art is to call it art?

  19. #9019
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamesabrown View Post
    Is it true that all it takes to turn something into art is to call it art?
    No more that it's true that all it takes to make something not-art is to call it not-art.

    Grant Hutchison
    Blog

    Note:
    During life, we all develop attitudes and strategies to make our interactions with others more pleasant and useful. If I mention mine here, those comments can apply only to myself, my experiences and my situation. Such remarks cannot and should not be construed as dismissing, denigrating, devaluing or criticizing any different attitudes and strategies that other people have evolved as a result of their different situation and different experiences.

  20. #9020
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamesabrown View Post
    Is it true that all it takes to turn something into art is to call it art?
    I think the answer is "pretty much, yes".
    Conserve energy. Commute with the Hamiltonian.

  21. #9021
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    The "who owns the flying saucer" thread reminded me of this. It may be non-trivial, but ...

    There is a tree in Athens, GA, that owns itself.

    A man's family owned a plot of land in Athens. He grew up on that land and spent a lot of time making very good memories under a white oak tree. He didn't want to see the land go to a new owner who might cut down the tree, so in the early 1800s he deeded the land to the tree. Somehow - perhaps because the idea seemed so unique - the state let it happen.

    In 1942 old age or a storm toppled the oak. The locals were chagrined. But one of them had an acorn from that oak and planted it on that plot of land. It grew into the tree which is there today and, as the direct descendant and only heir of the owner, now owns that plot.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_That_Owns_Itself
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
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    You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.
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  22. #9022
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solfe View Post
    I am tempted to make the Slides file "The History of Wakanda". It has it's own Wikipedia page, complete with maps. The form almost writes itself. [SNIP!]
    Well, I did the insane and actually turned in a history assignment on the History of Wakanda.

    I got an A, because the premise of the task was to present information and assessment tools, not teach history. A lot of my fellow students simply emulated content that they had used in the past, which isn't the best tactic. Truthful, accurate and boring. While my topic was pure fantasy, I could use music, maps and video snippets to get the content out to the imaginary student and which then allowed for a very relevant test on that material.

    I am loving this class.
    Solfe

  23. #9023
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    I wish I had more time for writing. I stumbled across this funny alien invasion story I had been working on years ago. The aliens assume that humans are just like themselves and they decide to send multiple contact teams. At first the teams are broken down by embassies for individual countries, but on arrival they decide that a breakdown by language is easier. This causes more than a little chaos as the groups end up being skilled based and not interested based. (Edit - At home, the aliens have multiple counties, but only one unique language per country. Sort of like a unifying code, rather than language. How we have multiple counties and sometimes multiple languages per country is perplexing to them.)

    The aliens that address English/Spanish/etc. speaking countries do so because of a speak talent for that language, but don't really understand or care that there are multiple cultures. On top of that, the aliens that do understand these cultures are treated as a passé ideal and are ignored. The former Russian culture adviser speaks English very well and ends up being sent to American. All he wants to talk about is TV shows because he doesn't really care about anything else. He freaks people out because he comes across as Khrushchev at the Kitchen Debate, while only discussing TV programming choices.

    Because this seems to be happening all around the world, the humans have no idea what to think of their new visitors.

    Obviously, its very weird comedy and not at all science fiction at all. I wish I had time to nail it down into an actual story.
    Solfe

  24. #9024
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    Every time a Lumber Liquidators commercial comes on, I look at their logo and see a slide rule.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  25. #9025
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    Every time a Lumber Liquidators commercial comes on, I look at their logo and see a slide rule.
    I hadn't before, but I will from now on.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  26. #9026
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    The distinct pleasure of the obsession with door-to-door bus pickup for the kids is that, when your kid misses his bus because of a potty emergency, you can just cross the street and wait with the kids getting picked up there.
    _____________________________________________
    Gillian

    "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

    "You can't erase icing."

    "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

  27. #9027
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    "Carbonado" amuses me. It sounds like the next SyFy channel movie of the week. No sharks in the tornado this time, just carbon!
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  28. #9028
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    I was amused by an allegation of a motion picture astronomy goof on the IMDb page for Walt Disney's animated production of Cinderella. The comment said that the full Moon in a midnight scene was much too close to the horizon for anywhere but polar regions. I did not remember noticing any such thing so I went back for a look at my DVD copy of the movie. First of all, contrary to what the goof comment appeared to be saying, the Moon never appeared during the scene where Cinderella was fleeing from the palace just before the spell was broken. It appeared in a romantic view of Cinderella and the prince on a bridge just before midnight, but it was seen as a reflection in the water and could have been high in the sky. In a later scene in the wee hours afterward it was shown in the sky behind the palace, not unreasonably low for central Europe around the summer solstice. A bit of artistic liberty was fine there.

    At the same time I was annoyed to discover that IMDb had done away with its message board, probably because of bother from the same sort of foul-mouthed vermin that pollute YouTube threads. I had previously found it to be a good forum for discussing movies and TV shows, comparable to this one for astronomy and space science/technology. I really wanted to post my remarks about that Moon issue there.

  29. #9029
    What we need to do is to clone Swift and sent them to all the message boards all over the net.
    From the wilderness to the cosmos.
    You can not be afraid of the wind, Enterprise: Broken Bow.
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  30. #9030
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    Quote Originally Posted by DonM435 View Post
    I used to have to assemble manuals with those inevitable "This page intentionally blank" pages in them, used to keep the numbering straight and to avoid any really blank pages which might look like bad printing.

    In drafts, after several of those, I'd vary the message:

    "This page intentionally obscure."
    "This page inadvertently blank!"
    "This page unintentionally boring."
    "This page unfortunately meaningless."
    "This page inexplicably upside down!" (And it really was.)
    "Oxymoronic warning: this page intentionally blank. Yeah, right."

    And so on. Nobody took any notice.
    We made a digital report in which you have to fill in a.o. which seabed soil type you're handling. During commissioning, we filled in "seaweed". 10 years down the road, we still see some daily reports with pretty decent seaweed productions.

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