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Thread: I am so old...

  1. #571
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    I remember when they dug up the fossilized Sphinx and left it lying in the desert because museums hadn't been invented yet.

  2. #572
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    I borrowed Remus's sword to make myself a banana split. Too bad he needed it that day.

  3. #573
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    Also, I recall the time that Constantine deported all foreigners, thus creating the Wholly Roman Empire. The reporters really messed up that story.

  4. #574
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    I remember when providers of the newly invented sevice of cable television advertised that it would be commercial free.

  5. #575
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck View Post
    I remember when providers of the newly invented sevice of cable television advertised that it would be commercial free.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  6. #576
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    I'm older than Roseanne Barr and John Goodman.

  7. #577
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    And Vladimir Putin.

  8. #578
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    I remember when I invented cooking while trying to read the expiration date on a mastodon steak by firelight late at night.

  9. #579
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck View Post
    And Vladimir Putin.
    And his predecessor, "Ras" Putin.

  10. #580
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    I remember when Rasputin was known as The Nutty Novice.

  11. #581
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    I started the rumor that Columbus didn't really make it to India, but I had to withdraw it when it turned out to be true.

  12. #582
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck View Post
    I started the rumor that Columbus didn't really make it to India, but I had to withdraw it when it turned out to be true.
    Colombus' shadow is clearly not lined up with the Sun. Photoshopped!
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  13. #583
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    I am so old, I remember seeing Star Wars movies that started with "in the distant future, in a galaxy moderately far away".

  14. #584
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    I know for a fact that Han shot first. I saw it.
    There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
    Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi (1883)

  15. #585
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    I'm so old I'm already dead.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  16. #586
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    I used a stick carter program to finance my invention of fire.

  17. #587
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    You know those cave carvings on the Isle Of Wight? I am so old, I carved them out. The caves that is, not the carvings.

  18. #588
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    Kids these days, with their mitochondria and their multi-cell tissues and organs!
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  19. #589
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    I remember when DNA was just DN.

  20. #590
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    (a real one)

    I am so old that things I had as "toys" are now apparently "highly collectible vintage rarity". Well, if it's new in sealed box, which mine aren't, because toys.

  21. #591
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolas View Post
    I am so old that things I had as "toys" are now apparently "highly collectible vintage rarity". Well, if it's new in sealed box, which mine aren't, because toys.
    Nobody is getting my astronaut/space View-Master reels. NOBODY.
    There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
    Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi (1883)

  22. #592
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    My favorite artist was Granddaughter Moses.

  23. #593
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    I'm so old, I forgot what I was going to post here.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

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