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Thread: Corrupt a wish game

  1. #1
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    Corrupt a wish game

    This game was vastly popular on the Ubuntu forum.
    It follows this manner:
    I wish to be the emperor of the Milky Way.
    The follow-up says: Granted! Wait a million years more!

  2. #2
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    I wish every day to be weekend only.

  3. #3
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    Work-week coma coming up!

  4. #4
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    I'd like to visit Hawaii sometime.

  5. #5
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    You are going to a restaurant named Hawaii that features pineapples and macademia nuts.

  6. #6
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    Granted nice dessert you get.

    I wish to enjoy rain dance in summer.

  7. #7
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    Granted, except you are living in the Atacama desert, where rain dance is hardly effective even if performed.
    I wish for power to fulfill all the wishes I have.

  8. #8
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    Power unfortunately does not come with the knowledge of how to use it.

    I want to build wishing wells that collect money for me.

  9. #9
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    Granted! But these wells only accept cowries, and they are all alive and can only be sold as aquarium pets.
    I want a knife blade that is as hard as diamond and as tough as stainless steel.

  10. #10
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    Granted. But you can't attach a handle.
    I wish to be irresistible to women.

  11. #11
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    Granted: you're a fabulous pair of shoes.


    I wish for good health.
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  12. #12
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    Granted by having good healthy food and daily walking/exercises.

    I wish for all time fun.

  13. #13
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    Granted: One new member, tickled to death, as requested.

    I wish Warren Buffet decided to become my secret benefactor.

  14. #14
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    Warren Buffet, the inventor of the all-you-can-eat buffet, has become your benefactor. I hope you like pickled moose spleen.

    I wish that I got a good idea for a wish to corrupt.
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  15. #15
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    That's cute but the moment of glory is short and over almost before you realize it.

    I'd like to have a trunk full of gold.

  16. #16
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    Granted, but you got a toy trunk load of gold.
    I wish to be twenty years young perpetually.

  17. #17
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    Granted, you will perpetually experience the worst day of the twentieth year of your life, ad infinitum (Groundhog Day style).
    I wish for my mind to be uploaded to a computer network and gain subjective immortality that way.

  18. #18
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    Granted: Your thoughts will be uploaded via a standard RS232 link at 9600 baud into a network of carnival automatons, slowly and with heavy bit losses. You will be fully aware but not fully there, unable to do anything except watch as you dispense cheap fortune-telling cards to the gullible and unwary. Winters are spent staring at the inside of a drape covering. You will develop a craving for nickels.

    I wish to be free of bias, sitting on a stone in the Himalayas, and waxing pious.

  19. #19
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    You are granted your wish. You are now a very religious yak, but since your djinn couldn't spell, you are depilating a late pope.

    I wish middle school students were more rational.
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  20. #20
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    Presto, they can now be expressed as the quotient or fraction p/q of two integers, with the denominator q not equal to zero.

    I wish I lived on the beach in Hawaii.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  21. #21
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    Granted, but alas, it is the most polluted beach in Hawaii, and it is hardly more pleasant than a river front in Downtown.
    I wish for a trillion US dollars for my own use.

  22. #22
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    A trillion US dollars are now yours! Alas, the only lenders with that much cash on hand are in Las Vegas casinos; you are now heavily indebted to various organized crime families, and interest is a killer.

    I wish I were immortal, with no negative side effects.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  23. #23
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    Your djinn that has trouble with the use of articles grants you your wish, you are now an Immortal in the process of charging the pass at Thermopylae.

    I wish to be able to travel in time.

  24. #24
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    ...does the US even have a trillion dollars (of its own - not borrowed) anymore??...

    /back on topic

  25. #25
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    I wish to play rain dance

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by kushy26 View Post
    I wish every day to be weekend only.
    It is, but you've got to work on all of them.
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by kushy26 View Post
    I wish to play rain dance
    You play rain dance, and being supposedly so good at it, you even manage to lose your sneakers.

    I wish my socks didn't have holes in them.

  28. #28
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    The holes seal up. Now you can't get your feet in them.

    I wish that all subsequent wishes of mine be interpreted in the way I mean, and carried out accordingly.

  29. #29
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    You have now used up your one and only wish to clarify subsequent wishes that do not exist.

    I wish I had infinite wishes.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  30. #30
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    Your wishes are applied across the infinite number of dimensions in the multi-verse give you exactly one in this universe.

    I wish I had perfect pitch.

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