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Thread: How do you react to getting older? Any story is fine but aiming for funny

  1. #1
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    How do you react to getting older? Any story is fine but aiming for funny

    When I turned forty, I shaved my head. Bare head on a pillow was wonderful, can't describe it.

    When turned 25, grew a beard. Was between movies working a seven-eleven when a cute girl I had seen a few times before got in a long line and continued smiling at me til she was next and then devestated me by pointing out the large glob of mustard in my beard from a hotdog I ate while store was quiet...

    Suddenly beardless....

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    Up until yesterday my wife and I always had to ask for senior citizen discounts. We went to Yorktown to see the new Revolutionary War museum and Expo and the very young gal at the counter gave us SC discount tickets without me even mentioning it. Funny/sad....

  3. #3
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    My two expressions about getting older:

    "Its not the years, its the miles."

    "Its not how old you actually are, its how old you feel. By that, I'm 167."
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  4. #4
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    On my 40th birthday, my Mom phoned.

    In the conversation, she said that it's true that life begins at forty. What they don't tell you is that at fifty, you start to fall apart.

  5. #5
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    A long time ago I was thirty something in London when a new assistant started straight from school at 17. Her mum came as chaperone to the interview. Soon she found the commute too long so she looked for a flat share (apartment share). Soon she announced she had found a nice room sharing a flat with a man. We said "What does your mum think about that?" Without pause she said "Oh it's fine, he must be at least thirty"
    sicut vis videre esto
    When we realize that patterns don't exist in the universe, they are a template that we hold to the universe to make sense of it, it all makes a lot more sense.
    Originally Posted by Ken G

  6. #6
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    Quote from my wife:

    "Your 50s are when you find out how much of your body is built on top of a swamp."

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    At 25 exercise means - no pain no gain.
    At 65 exercise means - pain, no gain.

  8. #8
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    I'm currently unhappy that our parents didn't need cataract surgery until they were in their eighties, and I'm having it when not quite seventy.

    The age when I first felt bad about getting older was actually 22. Up through 21, there's always something to look forward to with coming birthdays -- going to school, going to high school, driving, drinking, voting, etc. When I hit 22 I suddenly realized the next milestone was Social Security. Unless I wanted to run for President, of course.

    ETA: Now it's bothering me that I just truthfully typed "not quite seventy".
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  9. #9
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    Old? I'm only 26...with three decades of experience. I enlisted in the USAF and became a father at 17. I was promoted to Staff Sergeant at 20 (well ahead of the curve) and began leading people older than I. At the age of 37, I became both a grandfather and a military retiree. Nowadays, every time I drive through the base gate, I'm reminded just how young I must have looked back then...except they look 12 now. I had throat surgery a few years ago and my surgeon looked to be 20, although he had to be a little older. I sometimes talk to currently serving airmen at my American Legion post, some of whom are working in aircraft maintenance as I did for the first 12 years of my career. I enjoy hearing about the newest fighters and they marvel at how our planes got off the ground, being made of sticks and mud as they were. Many have never even heard of my first jet, the A-7D Corsair II. Most are familiar with next fighters I maintained, the F-4D and F-4E Phantom II but they've only seem them on a pedestal, on static display.

    Topping things off, my granddaughter (the oldest of three now) is no longer a minor. How long can it be until she makes me a GGF? But I'm kind of looking forward to another milestone: the date on which I will have been retired for 20 years, 7 months, and 4 days...the length of time I was on active duty. I might even have a party...or just a really good scotch and cigar. After that, the next stop is senior discounts. Quite some time ago, I insisted that AARP stop soliciting me, at least I'm spared that periodic nose rubbing.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacedude View Post
    At 25 exercise means - no pain no gain.
    At 65 exercise means - pain, no gain.
    I've learned the truth of THAT.

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    I'm reminded of Jack Benny. When asked on his birthday how old he was, he said, "39." "But you were 39 last year. You can't be 39 again." "Why not?"
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
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  12. #12
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    My mother thought along similar lines. She stopped having birthdays and started observing anniversaries of her 39th birthday.
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    Man is a tool-using animal. Nowhere do you find him without tools; without tools he is nothing, with tools he is all. ó Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

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    The other day my PC physician asked me if there was any history of mental illness in my family. I replied "Both my parents had ALZ ... and come to think of it, so did my mother."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim View Post
    I'm reminded of Jack Benny. When asked on his birthday how old he was, he said, "39." "But you were 39 last year. You can't be 39 again." "Why not?"
    He was working on his third 39 years when he died.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PetersCreek View Post
    I had throat surgery a few years ago and my surgeon looked to be 20, although he had to be a little older.
    A couple of years ago, during one of my wife's GI emergencies when she was admitted, the two GI on-call residents came up to her room once she was settled in. The young man and the young woman didn't look like their combined age was 40. I also realized that we had been dealing with her Crohn's disease for far longer than either of these two were alive.

    I've been volunteering with the county park system for 29 years. For years I routinely work with staff people who have not been alive that long.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  16. #16
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    When I stop to think about it, it doesn't really feel like I have 36 years of combined military/civil service. I don't stop to think about it much. However, it was nice to hit the 15-year mark with the agency, which put me in the top tier for leave accrual.
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    Man is a tool-using animal. Nowhere do you find him without tools; without tools he is nothing, with tools he is all. ó Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

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    The first time I went to a doctor older than myself was a bit of a shock. I've gotten accustomed, but it still bothers me when they look as if they should be in Junior High.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

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    When someone points out that something I'm eating isn't good for me, I like to ask, "You mean I might die young?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by PetersCreek View Post
    My mother thought along similar lines. She stopped having birthdays and started observing anniversaries of her 39th birthday.
    Around these parts, that is said as: "I'm 39.95 ... plus shipping & handling."

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    The first time I went to a doctor older than myself was a bit of a shock. I've gotten accustomed, but it still bothers me when they look as if they should be in Junior High.
    That should have been "doctor YOUNGER than me", obviously. I blame the error on my age.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  21. #21
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    I like to point out to teenagers that I'll start collecting social security payments at about the time they start paying taxes.

  22. #22
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    Casey Stengel ("ancient" manager of the New York Yankees) upon being fired for turning 70, said it was a mistake he'd never make again. He then mused that "Most men my age ... are dead now."

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    August 17th is my 66.6th birthday. One of my cousins said "Yeah, that's a once in a lifetime thing, I bet."

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noisy Rhysling View Post
    August 17th is my 66.6th birthday. One of my cousins said "Yeah, that's a once in a lifetime thing, I bet."
    You devil, you!
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  25. #25
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    Still on my first job, yet 2/3rds of the company works here less years than me. In 1 year, we'll hire people born in 2000. That was yesterday, wasn't it. In 4 years, we'll hire people who could be my (socially acceptable aged) children. At this age, I still feel young yet at the same time I start to realize a significant part has passed already. It is very rare that a "new" pop/movie star is older than me. It is getting common that a pop/movie star retires while younger than me.

    But hey, at least I'm now part of the club that drives an oldtimer car that still is younger than its driver.

  26. #26
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    You will find that sometimes the drop-down lists on a form where you choose "Year of Birth" don't go back that far.

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    The first time I went to a doctor older than myself was a bit of a shock. I've gotten accustomed, but it still bothers me when they look as if they should be in Junior High.
    I'm OK when the doctors bring around med students so they can see what's wrong with me, but I would prefer that they not use notepads with Disney characters on the cover.

  28. #28
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    I think on another level why I like old classic science fiction movies is that when I first watched them I was a young thing and the people in the movie were usually much older than me. Now when I watch them I still get this feeling the actors are still much older than me and I am eternally younger than them. I know that is flawed but I will take feeling youthful when ever I can.
    Just because you're a genius doesn't make you a smart guy

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by DonM435 View Post
    You will find that sometimes the drop-down lists on a form where you choose "Year of Birth" don't go back that far.
    What's worse is when they simply provide a blank box, you type your year of birth, click Submit, and get a message, "No, seriously."
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
    Isaac Asimov

    You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They donít alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.
    Doctor Who

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  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noisy Rhysling View Post
    August 17th is my 66.6th birthday. One of my cousins said "Yeah, that's a once in a lifetime thing, I bet."
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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