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Thread: Worthless superpowers

  1. #691
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    The power to crack cases without solving crimes.

  2. #692
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    The power of negative thinking.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  3. #693
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    The power to steal useless super powers.

  4. #694
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    Able to leap to tall conclusions.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  5. #695
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    The ability to wink, wiggle your ears and make the "live long and prosper" sign all at the same time... while tap dancing.

  6. #696
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    The power to see darkness for what it really is.

  7. #697
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    The power to grow moss on your north side.

    I realize this may be useful for finding north without a compass... but if you turn your body at all you'll have to wait for the moss to regrow.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  8. #698
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    The power not to grow moss on your south side.

  9. #699
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    The ability to turn lemons into limes.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  10. #700
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    The ability to eat your own words.



    Apparently support for Visual Basic 6 has been extended to Windows 8 recently, so I guess I can't call that a useless ability yet. Give it time!

  11. #701
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    The ability to know the exact number of grains of salt in a bag of pretzels (adherent to the pretzels and at bottom of bag).

  12. #702
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    Liking on Facebook wihtout a computer.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  13. #703
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    LookingSkyward is offline Honored Member
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    the ability to turn melons into mimes
    Last edited by LookingSkyward; 2013-May-07 at 12:25 PM.

  14. #704
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    A liberal arts degree.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  15. #705
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noclevername View Post
    A liberal arts degree.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  16. #706
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    Long duration bathing.

  17. #707
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    Psychic stamp licking

  18. #708
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    Quote Originally Posted by DukePaul View Post
    Psychic stamp licking
    Lol!!

    But I keep thinking of it as "psychic lamp sticking."

    I guess it's another worthless superpower.

  19. #709
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    "psychic lamp sticking." LOL!


    The ability to make me LOL is not worthless!

  20. #710
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    The power to take a bath without your fingers getting all prune-y.
    Last edited by Noclevername; 2013-May-30 at 10:51 PM. Reason: spelling
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  21. #711
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    The ability for a medical doctor to spell a medication name correctly.

    It's a miracle, actually.

  22. #712
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    The ability to predict mouse choices in a maze.

  23. #713
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    The ability to remember movie quotes from all MST3K episodes.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  24. #714
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    The ability to come up with countless good marketing campaigns for lawn darts.

  25. #715
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    The ability to tell sauce from gravy.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  26. #716
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    The ability to spell suace and gravee. No, wait. The ability to lie half-convincingly.

  27. #717
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    The ability to speak, read, and write a foreign language fluently ... under water.

  28. #718
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    The ability to speak, read, and write a foreign language fluently ... under water.
    Well, Atlantean is hard to pronounce without gills.

    The power to forget punch lines.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  29. #719
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    The power to know what one of your hands is doing.

  30. #720
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    The ability to change the color of your tongue.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

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