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mugaliens
2010-Mar-09, 05:30 AM
I came across this on another forum a few minutes ago and laughed so hard I saw stars:

Her: Have YOU ever hit a deer?
Me: What, you mean like, in the FACE??
Her: .... WHAT is the MATTER with with you?!?

megrfl
2010-Mar-09, 02:28 PM
Facebook mode.

megrfl likes this. :)

LotusExcelle
2010-Mar-10, 12:11 AM
I am rather partial to my sig.

Buttercup
2010-Mar-10, 12:15 AM
I like my sig too. :D

LookingSkyward
2010-Mar-10, 12:16 AM
+1 for Garnet Star :)

Ilya
2010-Mar-10, 12:17 AM
Of course you do. If you did not like it, you would not be using it! :D (I like my sig too)

And FWIW, I do not find the OP at all funny. Well, maybe a tiny bit.

RAF_Blackace
2010-Mar-10, 12:24 AM
One along similar lines but was not a signature, I was there when the apprentice said it.

Apprentice: How do you get piles ?

Old Engineer: Well you get them when you sit on cold surfaces or if you get run down.

Apprentice: What, by a car !!!

slang
2010-Mar-10, 12:36 AM
(Apologies to oldtimers who are well aware of this. Yet there may be quite a few readers unaware that the Internet-As-We-Know-It stands on the shoulders of giants..)

The forum signature as it exists now is predated by taglines. As used on Fidonet (http://www.fidonet.org/) (before the Internet became popular), and the internet as it was those days (small). There were many years of one-liner creativity before the WWW was born.

http://www.owlfish.com/taglines.html

SkepticJ
2010-Mar-10, 12:51 AM
Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Bless you, Jack Handey.

RAF_Blackace
2010-Mar-10, 01:05 AM
This is a good one.

If a man talks in a forest, and there is no woman there to hear him.

Is he still wrong ?

A Confucius one.

Man with wooden leg with woodworm, is still better off than man with tin leg in thunderstorm.

Kaptain K
2010-Mar-10, 01:23 AM
My sig is a reminder to myself.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Mar-10, 02:19 AM
This one has been used around here a couple times.
"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind- boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it." Gene Spafford, 1992

KaiYeves
2010-Mar-10, 02:20 AM
I've had a few funny ones, and I've been pleased to see some of my funnier comments appear in other people's sigs.

Spoons
2010-Mar-10, 02:27 AM
I don't think there's near enough mike alexander or ABR. quotes in signatures.

Here or elsewhere.

That'd be a step in the right direction to make the world a better place.

novaderrik
2010-Mar-10, 02:31 AM
i've gotten a few PM's about the link in my sig over the years..

LaurelHS
2010-Mar-10, 02:56 AM
My signature on Apollohoax is from Dilbert:
"If we can put a man on the Moon, we can build a computer made entirely of recycled paper."
"Your flawed analogy only shows that other people can do other things."
"Maybe you should call other people and ask how they do it."
"Maybe they use good analogies."

mugaliens
2010-Mar-10, 09:29 AM
Lol, I busted gut reading through some of these! :)

Here's an interesting one, not so funny, but reminds me of a post or thread here on BAUT: It dsonet mtater if teh wrosd is seplt worng so lnog as teh fsrit and lsat letetr is in palce.

Why does this work? It's amazing! What's going on in our brains that makes this work?

And why doesn't "it dt mr if te wd is sd wg so lg as th ft ad lt lr is in pe" also work?

Or does it? Have we stumbled across some sort of inter-word or syntaxial shorthand?

Provence
2010-Mar-10, 10:54 AM
i've gotten a few PM's about the link in my sig over the years..

Oh my :eek:

Chuck
2010-Mar-10, 01:28 PM
My sig is a reminder to myself.
I've also seen

"I'd rather be over the hill than under it."

Fazor
2010-Mar-10, 02:57 PM
I've had "In order to increase awareness of the homeless, security have been given binoculars" from 'Community', which is one of my favorites.

And "If god didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them out of meat?", which I don't know where it's from but I picked it up from someone here. I think it's hilarious on it's own, but also demonstrates the kind of logic we see in certain sections of BAUT.

But I got tired of bad statistical arguments and misuse of data, so went back to the overused but tried and true quotes from Homer.

cjl
2010-Mar-10, 06:54 PM
Here's an interesting one, not so funny, but reminds me of a post or thread here on BAUT: It dsonet mtater if teh wrosd is seplt worng so lnog as teh fsrit and lsat letetr is in palce.

Why does this work? It's amazing! What's going on in our brains that makes this work?
It doesn't work.

It aouesltbly meartts if the wrod is slleped ioentclrrcy.

HenrikOlsen
2010-Mar-10, 07:06 PM
It doesn't work.

It aouesltbly meartts if the wrod is slleped ioentclrrcy.

The scrambling has to be done carefully so letters with ascenders and descenders are in nearly the right place too.

Swift
2010-Mar-10, 07:34 PM
One of our members (female, now less active, but can't remember who) had a signature that was always very appropriate for the CT/ATM forums:

"An open mind is like an open window, without a good screen a lot of bugs get in"

LaurelHS
2010-Mar-10, 10:07 PM
One of our members (female, now less active, but can't remember who) had a signature that was always very appropriate for the CT/ATM forums:

"An open mind is like an open window, without a good screen a lot of bugs get in"

It was NC More (http://www.bautforum.com/members/n-c-more.html).

My signature on TV.com is "If you can't be good, be colorful!" (Pete Conrad's personal motto) and each word is a different color. Yes, I have too much time on my hands.

Paul Beardsley
2010-Mar-10, 10:21 PM
I do wish people would vary their signatures. If I keep mine the same for more than a month, it's because I'm feeling lazy.

kleindoofy
2010-Mar-10, 10:23 PM
Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. ...
That quote really hits a moralistic nerve.

I'll think about it the next time I'm eating chicken, or maybe a good steak ;).

mugaliens
2010-Mar-10, 11:50 PM
It doesn't work.

It aouesltbly meartts if the wrod is slleped ioentclrrcy.

You're right - It absolutely matters if the word is spelled incorrectly.

I should have said that the interior letters are jumbled, not that the word is misspelled, which additionally includes incorrect or missing letters.

Spoons
2010-Mar-11, 12:31 AM
How you misspell the word is important, but that doesn't mean you can mangle the grammar.

"words is"?

No, no, no! "words are"

Yay for me - I corrected misspelling. I feel so impotent!

Romanus
2010-Mar-11, 01:00 AM
Wish I could remember who on the Space.com boards had this sig, as I haven't been there for a long time...it's approximate:

"I've invented wheat loaf! It's like meat loaf, but with wheat!"

"Isn't that just bread?"

Swift
2010-Mar-11, 01:16 AM
Wish I could remember who on the Space.com boards had this sig, as I haven't been there for a long time...it's approximate:

"I've invented wheat loaf! It's like meat loaf, but with wheat!"

"Isn't that just bread?"
I can't help you with the Space.com person, but the original is a very old Doonesbury cartoon, back in the original college/commune days and I believe Zonker said the first line and Mike the second.

I always like the bit too.

Romanus
2010-Mar-11, 01:21 AM
^
Thanks for the info. :)

cjl
2010-Mar-11, 04:22 AM
You're right - It absolutely matters if the word is spelled incorrectly.

I should have said that the interior letters are jumbled, not that the word is misspelled, which additionally includes incorrect or missing letters.
True. You'll note though that mine did follow that rule - the interior letters are all there, but jumbled, and it is much harder to read than your example. The word has to be scrambled in a specific way in order to be easy to read.

Spoons
2010-Mar-11, 04:24 AM
I believe Henrik has detailed the specifics of this.

By the way cjl, love your sig. Makes my thrid eye sparkle every time.

99gecko
2010-Mar-11, 04:49 PM
My favorite from a home theatre forum where some members list a description of their hardware is (or slightly paraphrased):

I have some stuff. You likely have better bigger, louder stuff.

I just added a sig. for this forum.

cheers.

Nick Theodorakis
2010-Mar-11, 04:59 PM
"People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who actually do."

"Eat a live frog every morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." (sometimes attributed to Mark Twain)

Nick

Swift
2010-Mar-11, 06:24 PM
Two other BAUT member signatures I always liked:

Andromeda321 - "Yes, I have a life. It's quite different from yours."

Gillianren - "You can't erase icing."

I've actually used both of these in real world conversations.

LookingSkyward
2010-Mar-17, 08:57 PM
"

"Eat a live frog every morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." (sometimes attributed to Mark Twain)



I'm just really glad Swit posted after that... I was worried for his avatar

Swift
2010-Mar-17, 09:06 PM
I've always heard the quote as "eat a live toad". My avatar is not a toad, but a Spring Peeper, a very tiny tree frog. It would hardly be noticed on the way down the throat.

djinn
2010-Mar-17, 10:01 PM
I like the Robert Wilensky joke (which, daily, becomes less of a joke) -
"We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

ABR.
2010-Mar-23, 08:51 PM
I think this is one for the archives....

"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs." --mike alexander.