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View Full Version : Bad, Bad, Bad - The Worst Thing You've Ever Watched



SkepticJ
2010-Sep-28, 09:56 PM
The movies The Swarm, and the '93 made-for-TV "adaptation" of Journey to the Center of the Earth are the worst movies I've ever watched. They're absolute garbage. They're not, however--at least in my case--so bad that enjoyment can once more be derived from them. I watched them alone, perhaps watched with a group of friends and riffing on the movies MST3K-style, they'd be fun.

The worst TV show: Deadliest Warrior.

I tuned-in last night hoping to learn a little, and technically did, but wow, what a terrible show. Picture MythBusters hosted by obnoxious frat-boy idiots, and you've an idea.

I, of course, know worse shows exist, like Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, and the other septic sludge that is daytime TV, but a show about weapons and warriors, how, you ask yourself, can they mess that up? Have it be made for Spike TV, that's how.

Gillianren
2010-Sep-28, 10:17 PM
The Medallion. Which I didn't want to see in the first place.

RAF_Blackace
2010-Sep-28, 11:09 PM
Anything on Fox Network.

Nowhere Man
2010-Sep-29, 12:15 AM
Some of the stuff on MST3K was bad enough to make me jump up and down in frustration. Future War, for one. The worst I've ever seen in a theater was that miserable adaptation of "Nightfall" from 1988.

Fred

Gillianren
2010-Sep-29, 03:41 AM
Anything on Fox Network.

The Simpsons used to be quite good, and The X-Files was for all but the last few seasons.


Some of the stuff on MST3K was bad enough to make me jump up and down in frustration. Future War, for one. The worst I've ever seen in a theater was that miserable adaptation of "Nightfall" from 1988.

I automatically disregard anything I've seen with puppets in the corner, because I'm not seeing it as it was intended to be seen. The way I'm seeing it is actually entertaining. A friend's roommate repeatedly described Future War as "awesome," but I think he was expressing astonishment that someone actually made it.

vonmazur
2010-Sep-29, 04:34 AM
"Attack of the Giant Gila Monster".....The Sheriff looked like Joe Stalin, the Lionel Train was cheesy, worse than the original Fugitive Lionel Train....and to make matters worse, No one on MST3K ever commented on this!! They did not even do the "Toy Train-Toy Train!" chant....;)

Dale

LotusExcelle
2010-Sep-29, 07:53 AM
Armageddon

ggremlin
2010-Sep-29, 08:33 AM
The Blair Witch Project Best marketing campaign I have ever seen was not worth the several hours of motion sickness and the piece of <<insert here>> I sat through.

Selenite
2010-Sep-29, 08:51 AM
I realize that back then people didn't expect much from a B-movie, but I sometimes wonder what went through the minds of theatergoers in 1958 coming home after viewing Plan 9 from Outer Space. I mean decades before it was canonized as the ultimate example of a movie being so bad that it's good. Shame that Ed Wood Jr. never lived long enough to receive the questionable accolades.

The 1986 movie Spacecamp still makes me want to step into an airlock and pull the switch. I'm not sure even Joel or Mike and the 'bots could make that watchable again for me.

Moose
2010-Sep-29, 08:56 AM
Mortal Kombat 2. Had I realized they couldn't even lure back the C-List original cast, I'd have taken the hint and not bothered.

wachman
2010-Sep-29, 12:22 PM
The worst I've ever seen in a theater was that miserable adaptation of "Nightfall" from 1988.

Fred

Curse you! I had that movie purged from my memory! AGH! Now you brought it back!

mike alexander
2010-Sep-29, 02:34 PM
For something recent, I was giving the new US series (NBC network) "The Event" a second chance Monday night (the first installment was far from promising). At just about the halfway point I HAD to turn it off. Horrid, horrid transparent writing; annoying, stereotyped, stupid people and situations. I mean, an airliner full of passengers suddenly disappears? Wow, what an original concept!

For the classics, I'll pick Blow-Up as representative of those 60's films (no matter what year they were made, as long as they resemble French New Wave) that had people looking at random star patterns and seeing a dragon. Jules and Jim, Zabriske Point... you may get the idea.

OK, yeah, I'll settle on Zabriske Point, Antonioni's masturpiece. Watch it... IF YOU DARE!

Swift
2010-Sep-29, 02:54 PM
Altered States (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080360/) has to be up there (or is it "down there"). The only movie I recall seeing in a movie theatre where people openly booed at the end of the movie.

AndreasJ
2010-Sep-29, 03:07 PM
Counting only stuff I've actually sat through (there's any number of TV movies I gave up 20min into during my teens), the prize would have to go to a zombie movie whose title I'm not 100% certain of anymore - I think it was City of the Living Dead. If it helps, it has a particularly ludicrous scene where someone gets a storm of maggots(!) in their face, some of which stick in a few patches of obviously applied glue. In addition to basement-level special effects and wooden acting, the Swedish censors (who were not ordinarily all that draconian) had butchered it, making plot and dialogue hard to follow. Well, at least I'm told the uncut version made something resembling sense.

Paul Beardsley
2010-Sep-29, 04:09 PM
The following is, of course, all my opinion. This shouldn't need to be stated, seeing as how I'm on BAUT and not IMDB.

I haven't seen City of the Living Dead but I recently watched Zombie Diaries all the way through, to spousal annoyance. Its amateurish execution is nothing compared to its ill-conception. All ideas should be allowed at the brainstorming stage, but that is supposed to be followed by the critical stage in which the really stupid ideas are weeded out. Adds nothing to either the Romero Zombies genre or the Filmed By The Characters genre (or indeed the combination).

Doctor Who reached its nadir a few years ago with Last of the Time Lords. This is what you get when the showrunner doesn't understand how science fiction works, and the ideas are ludicrous without being funny or fresh. Previous nadir was in the late 1980s when Sylvester McCoy starred in Paradise Towers - an insulting rip-off of J.G. Ballard.

Torchwood was so bad that people with no particular axe to grind would sometimes use it as an adverb in the phrase "Torchwood bad" but it actually improved considerably in the third season - around the time a new level of dreadfulness arrived in the form of Bonekickers. This was supposedly a serious drama based around real archaeology. Everything about it was abysmal.

The above items failed to entertain me, but one piece of trash that I did enjoy (despite everything) was the recent miniseries The Deep, with James Nesbitt and Minnie Driver. It's set on a submarine or three under the Arctic ice, and has people doing absurd things. For instance, one of the characters is a grandmother who isn't on a submarine but instead lives in a house in the country. She knows some spies are watching her house from their prominently-parked car. She rightly suspects that they are after some data on her computer. So, she takes her computer outside and puts it down on the road a short distance from the car, and smashes it with a hammer. The spies go away. Then the grandmother proudly shows her granddaughter that she has a second computer poorly hidden in the barn! Just goes to show, espionage school is no match for a plucky old lady.

Gillianren
2010-Sep-29, 04:20 PM
I watched Plan 9 recently, and I have to say, if people are saying it was the worst movie ever made, they haven't seen enough truly bad movies. Or as a friend of mine puts it, so long as there is Manos: Hands of Fate, a mere Plan 9 can't be the worst movie ever made. I'm not saying it's good, but it isn't that bad.

I like Blow-Up, but I need to keep reminding myself that I'm not going to like the French New Wave as much this time as I think I will. Or Fellini. He's got some brilliant visuals, but I hate his movies.

LaurelHS
2010-Sep-29, 07:49 PM
While I was watching Drag Me To Hell last year, my mood alternated between grossed out and bored.

mike alexander
2010-Sep-29, 07:49 PM
Must agree, Manos beats Plan 9.

I did catch the last half of The Angry Red Planet one evening last week and think it might offer the above two some competition.

Nowhere Man
2010-Sep-29, 10:30 PM
The only movie I recall seeing in a movie theatre where people openly booed at the end of the movie.

Argh! You swine! You've brought to mind Highlander II, which was also roundly booed at the end!

Wachman, pass the brain bleach...

Fred

KaiYeves
2010-Sep-30, 12:20 AM
Moontrap (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097911/). Researching early depictions of the Space Shuttle in fiction is usually fun, but I couldn't stand more than 10 minutes of this.

SkepticJ
2010-Sep-30, 01:28 AM
Kai, ever seen Moonraker?

pzkpfw
2010-Sep-30, 01:49 AM
Showgirls.

Cougar
2010-Sep-30, 02:04 AM
The Blair Witch Project Best marketing campaign I have ever seen was not worth the several hours of motion sickness and the piece of <<insert here>> I sat through.

Aw, I was going to mention that. I think that is the only movie I have ever walked out on.

Van Rijn
2010-Sep-30, 03:36 AM
Kai, ever seen Moonraker?

This is one of those "Your mileage may vary" things. Moonraker was ridiculous, the artificial gravity bit was hilariously wrong (I remember laughing at the screen), but I liked the movie.

novaderrik
2010-Sep-30, 10:43 AM
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job..
it is the worst thing to ever be put on tv- it's somehow even worse than their first show on Adult Swim, the title of which i can't remember right now and really don't care enough to google it..

ggremlin
2010-Sep-30, 10:57 AM
Aw, I was going to mention that. I think that is the only movie I have ever walked out on.

I so wanted to walk out, but we kept saying there must be something here to justify its existence. Now I know what the guy in the corner was doing at the end.

CyberCecil
2010-Sep-30, 11:29 AM
For me it would have to be G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra. This movie was so bad that I was longing for the good old days of Battlefield Earth.

Just to put this into perspective, when I was a kid there was this movie rental store near my house that was one of my favorite places. Every weekend my family would go to there and I would grab one movie I really wanted to see and another one that I had no clue about just because of the box art or just because it looked to be really awful. Before MST3K even existed I had seen practically every movie they would eventually skewer and then some.

There was no movie I regretted seeing until G.I. Joe. That this movie exists is an affront to existence.

wachman
2010-Sep-30, 12:46 PM
Argh! You swine! You've brought to mind Highlander II, which was also roundly booed at the end!

Wachman, pass the brain bleach...

Fred

And now you've made me remember Highlander 3!

Hand me my brain bleach make!

weatherc
2010-Sep-30, 05:19 PM
You guys who are saying there were sequels to Highlander are funny. Everybody knows there were no sequels to that movie, just like there were no sequels to The Matrix.

otakenji
2010-Sep-30, 05:23 PM
Movies come in cans and are assembled by the projectionist The cans are labelled with numbers so they can be spliced together on the big reel for showing. I worked as a projectionist at a theater when I was young. I misassembled a movie that was so bad that nobdoy in the audience noticed it was out of sequence!

pzkpfw
2010-Sep-30, 06:20 PM
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job..
it is the worst thing to ever be put on tv- it's somehow even worse than their first show on Adult Swim, the title of which i can't remember right now and really don't care enough to google it..

They recently started showing that on our version of the Comedy Channel.

Pushed it really hard in the advertising, so I watched it and was totally mystified. Not at all funny. Awful even. I think I could see what they were "going for" - but they didn't get there.

(Having said that, the ads for Saturday Night Live always make it seem good and apparently it's popular in the states (we've also only recently started getting SNL here), but any time I ever watch it I react the same as with T & E.)

Gillianren
2010-Sep-30, 06:30 PM
SNL has been good. It is not, currently. It's the hazard of a show which lasts that long.

Van Rijn
2010-Sep-30, 06:54 PM
SNL has been good. It is not, currently. It's the hazard of a show which lasts that long.

Yep. The original SNL team was great. There have been a couple of other groups since then that were pretty good, but I haven't watched it (aside from an occasional skit) for a decade.

Van Rijn
2010-Sep-30, 06:57 PM
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job..


Sometimes I'll leave the TV on while I'm working on the computer. That show is so bad that, if I hear it in the background, I go over to change the channel (or turn it off).

KaiYeves
2010-Sep-30, 09:23 PM
Kai, ever seen Moonraker?

Not yet, I'm trying to look at original stories with the shuttle in them before I get to franchises, just because franchises come with their own continuity and things the viewer is expected to know.

ABR.
2010-Sep-30, 09:29 PM
You guys who are saying there were sequels to Highlander are funny. Everybody knows there were no sequels to that movie, just like there were no sequels to The Matrix.

Isn't it odd that so many people believe there were sequels to Highlander and a Star Trek V? Now what is this Matrix you speak of?

Romanus
2010-Sep-30, 11:48 PM
Oh, Deadliest Warrior isn't that bad.

My votes, for categories I just made up. It will be immediately apparent that I have a yen for comedies, even ones that turn out to be utterly humorless:

Worst show currently polluting the networks: Jersey Shore.
Worst past show: Oddville.*
Worst Adult Swim show: **** McGee.**

Worst movie I've seen this year: Extreme Movie.
Worst movie I saw last decade: Dirty Love.
The sooner I never see it again, the better it'll be the next time I see it: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.

Honorable mention: The Stupids, Corky Romano.



*Yes, I see the connection.
**Look it up.

SkepticJ
2010-Oct-01, 05:27 AM
Honorable mention: The Stupids . . .

Huh. Just checked The Stupids IMDb rating, and it's abysmal.

I actually enjoyed it, though not as much as RocketMan, which has some pretty witty humor, and also appeals on some puerile level I never lost.

"Who is this Sender, and what is he doing with other people's mail?"

SkepticJ
2010-Oct-01, 05:32 AM
Not yet, I'm trying to look at original stories with the shuttle in them before I get to franchises, just because franchises come with their own continuity and things the viewer is expected to know.

It's a James Bond movie, there is no continuity.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-01, 07:12 PM
Worst Highlander movie ever was Highlander:The Source. It had visions also it planets aligning at a magical time. It was so bad I forgot the plot and name until I looked it up on Wikipedia.

publiusr
2010-Oct-02, 04:40 PM
The Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job did at least have Fred Willard on
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Willard
I would have given him his own show myself.

vonmazur
2010-Oct-04, 03:09 AM
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job..
it is the worst thing to ever be put on tv- it's somehow even worse than their first show on Adult Swim, the title of which i can't remember right now and really don't care enough to google it..

Nova: It was called "Tom goes to the Mayor" IT was beyond awful...even for Adult Swim!

Dale

inflector
2010-Oct-04, 07:19 PM
Worse Movie I've Seen: Jaws 4 (aka Jaws the Revenge)

(bet you didn't know there was a Jaws 3 for that matter)


Worst Movie Marathon: Jaws 1 to 4 in one sitting (arghh, from great to terrible in 4 easy steps)

(my wife likes shark movies)

Here's a snip from a great review (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093300/):


Astoundingly horrible only scratches the surface of what can be considered no less than a masterpiece of lapsed logic and catastrophic film-making, even failing on the front of being overblown enough to make a suitable unintentional comedy. While the film's atrocious quality is hardly a surprise, it still boggles the mind simply how bad an outcome it was possible to achieve. In fact, the film's laughably ludicrous tagline "This time it's personal" could well apply to the audiences watching the film: this time the franchise is not only resoundingly poor, but a personal insult to every last viewer unfortunate enough to find themselves watching it.

redshifter
2010-Oct-04, 09:16 PM
I saw the movie Laserblast w/o the MST3K treatment. Truly dreadful. Not too bad as an MST3K vehicle though...I also disregard any MST3K movie as 'bad'. Otherwise I'd have to add such gems as The Girl in Gold Boots, The Giant Spider Invasion, The Thing That Wouldn't Die, The Final Sacrifice, Zombie Nightmare and other masterpeices.

Moose
2010-Oct-04, 11:02 PM
Worse Movie I've Seen: Jaws 4 (aka Jaws the Revenge)

I'd forgotten that one. Yeah, that was pretty horrid.


(bet you didn't know there was a Jaws 3 for that matter)

Jaws 3(D)? Yeah. I remember it. It was run as the TV movie on some channel about a million times. I'd seen the last twenty minutes over (and over and over again). (They're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away, ho ho, hee hee, ha haa)

ginnie
2010-Oct-04, 11:43 PM
Anything on Fox Network.
The Fox Network had some good shows!
Malcolm in the Middle
The X Files
Mad TV
That 70's Show
Bones
Fringe
and who could forget Firefly?

SkepticJ
2010-Oct-04, 11:46 PM
Well, at least they won't be able to make it to Jaws 19 by 2015, unless they really, really try.

ginnie
2010-Oct-04, 11:47 PM
I don't know what the "worst" movie I ever saw was, but " In the Name of the King" ranks up there. Also "The Horse Whisperer" - the most boring movie I've seen.
And I'm a huge Kubrick fan, but "Eyes Wide Shut" was just awful.

Gemini
2010-Oct-05, 01:11 AM
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job..
it is the worst thing to ever be put on tv- it's somehow even worse than their first show on Adult Swim, the title of which i can't remember right now and really don't care enough to google it..

I agree with you there, Nova. Also, I found Napoleon Dynamite quite dreadful

SeanF
2010-Oct-05, 02:40 AM
(bet you didn't know there was a Jaws 3 for that matter)
The most notable thing about Jaws 3D was that it was Lea Thompson's first silver screen appearance. It was a small role and, if I remember correctly, she survived to the end but her boyfriend did not.

And speaking of Lea Thompson:

Well, at least they won't be able to make it to Jaws 19 by 2015, unless they really, really try.
Without realignment, the Cubs can't play Miami in the World Series that year, either. :)

ABR.
2010-Oct-05, 02:51 AM
Also "The Horse Whisperer" - the most boring movie I've seen.

I wasn't all that thrilled with the movie either, but was very amused when Sam Neill stepped out of the car, looked around and said, "So this is Montana."

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-05, 04:02 AM
The most notable thing about Jaws 3D was that it was Lea Thompson's first silver screen appearance. It was a small role and, if I remember correctly, she survived to the end but her boyfriend did not.

And speaking of Lea Thompson.


Then she was in a little thing called Howard the Duck.

baskerbosse
2010-Oct-05, 04:28 AM
Terror i the Midnight Sun, AKA Invasion of the Animal People, AKA Rymdinvasion i Lappland, 1959
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053232/

Classic B-movie.
Completely hopeless. Recommended. (:-))

Peter

Fazor
2010-Oct-05, 01:53 PM
Worst tv show I've had to repeatedly sit through: Ghost Whisperer . . . though the 'honorable mention' list is as long as my arm.

Worst movie: . . . hard to say. I don't normally sit through movies I like. Tara and my mom watched Lovely Bones the other week, and I saw a good chunk of it. It was laughably awful. Of course, that meant Tara loved it. *sigh*

dwnielsen
2010-Oct-06, 10:45 AM
Ha ha, I know the feeling. Some years ago I was dating a young woman, and we went out to see a movie. Afterwards, we were at her mother's apartment, and as it turns out, they went to go see a movie too. I told them I thought the movie we decided to see turned out to be pretty awful, and I ragged on it a bit. The movie they saw was wonderful! We probably should have seen that! I'm sure you can guess, but to be explicit.. same movie, Bobby. From then on, all movies were at least "okay".

DonM435
2010-Oct-06, 01:54 PM
Once while I was stuck in a waiting room at an automobile repair shop, other folks were watching one of those daytime "talk" shows where these cretinous guests who have some sordid dispute scream at one another -- using language that requires that 75% or more of the dialogue gets "bleeped" out -- until they start to fight physically and have to be restrained. A little of that, and I stepped out. Watching the tires being rotated was preferable. (I understand that this was typical, and that there are lots of such shows on.)

Gillianren
2010-Oct-06, 11:22 PM
We probably should have seen that! I'm sure you can guess, but to be explicit.. same movie, Bobby.

I'd guessed that they would turn out to be the same movie, but not that anyone could have Bobby as the worst movie they'd ever seen.

pzkpfw
2010-Oct-07, 12:33 AM
Who said Bobby was the worst movie they'd ever seen?

Gillianren
2010-Oct-07, 12:42 AM
The idea that after that, every movie is "at least 'okay'" rather indicates it to me.

HenrikOlsen
2010-Oct-07, 01:10 AM
I read that to mean that after that incident, no movie was described as worse than "okay" in order to prevent a recurrence of the embarrassment.

dwnielsen
2010-Oct-07, 03:37 AM
Right, darn heathen tongue, this English language. I meant that their being the same movie was the predictable part, and that I learned to hold my tongue or gave the benefit of the doubt, not gained a whole new appreciation for other movies. Heh, pardon the ambiguity.

If a movie was really bad, chances are it was turned off or failed to be committed to memory.

I remember some:
An Indian movie called Kaal was pretty awful (until I turned it off).
Anyone see Vercingétorix (Druids in the US)? I really liked it, but it had some weird film edits, and I've heard some dubious history, but I dunno.
Hmm, what else.. hard to talk about boring, awful films and keep it interesting at the same time..

TJMac
2010-Oct-07, 04:39 AM
Any movie made from a video game should automatically make the list. I am pretty sure I lost brain matter while trying to watch Bloodrayne one night.

HenrikOlsen
2010-Oct-07, 04:46 AM
You've just damned half of Uwe Boll's productions:D

Gillianren
2010-Oct-07, 04:57 AM
"Hey, do you want to see [X]?"

"Directed by Uwe Boll."

"Oh. Well, no, then."

Darkchilde
2010-Oct-07, 12:08 PM
Starship Troopers: I wanted to get out of the movie theatre. I could not believe that I paid to see "Models in Space". And of course, there was nothing of the book in it, except for the general idea of a war against giant bugs, and the names of the protagonists. As a B-Movie to watch it at home and laugh it's fine, but at a theatre? It was terrible.

And I remember a scene from an old B-Movie, that I am trying to find. It's another terrible one, but it should be good for a few laughs with friends. It has this alien woman, who looks exactly human. Now, this alien gets drunk on coffee! Anyone seen this and know what it's called? I had seen parts of it one late night and it had already started when I watched the rest of it.

ngc3314
2010-Oct-07, 03:35 PM
Let me offer Zombie Lake. On the plus side, green underwater Nazi zombies. The major non-production-value negative: it struck me partway through half-watching this that the director was apparently using this medium to attempt a serious statement about French ambivalence to events under the occupation.

peter eldergill
2010-Oct-08, 04:29 PM
Anyone else see "Galaxy of Terror"?. I asked about it here a long time ago because I couldn't remember the title. I ended up watching it a while back...it wasn't so good

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082431/

Pete

Delvo
2010-Oct-08, 04:53 PM
I wasn't all that thrilled with the movie either, but was very amused when Sam Neill stepped out of the car, looked around and said, "So this is Montana."I haven't seen the movie, but laughed when I read that. I presume he didn't do the accent, but the back-reference is so straightforward that I wonder if he ad-libbed the line in, or if it was written for that reason after he was cast, or it's just coincidence... and whether he acted that scene as a continuation in any way.

Gillianren
2010-Oct-08, 06:37 PM
Anyone else see "Galaxy of Terror"?. I asked about it here a long time ago because I couldn't remember the title. I ended up watching it a while back...it wasn't so good

No, the only way I would have seen that would have been with puppets in the corner.

I have to say, I have belatedly developed a serious appreciation of Roger Corman. Not as an actual filmmaker, mind; he was terrible. On the other hand, he did launch a lot of other people who did actual good work in film. Not only that, but he became the American distributor for some of the best foreign directors in history--people like Akira Kurosawa and Ingmar Bergman.

DukePaul
2010-Oct-13, 09:49 PM
Not the worst thing I have ever seen, but I just watched an episode of Star Trek Voyager where a 1937 truck is found floating in space for 400 years. And it has a tank of gasoline, water in the radiator and oil in the crankcase and the battery still is charged and cranks the truck. Please shoot the script writer who wrote this or send them to the nearest Klingon mining colony.

Van Rijn
2010-Oct-14, 12:31 AM
Not the worst thing I have ever seen, but I just watched an episode of Star Voyager where a 1937 truck is found floating in space for 400 years. And it has a tank of gasoline, water in the radiator and oil in the crankcase and the battery still is charged and cranks the truck. Please shoot the script writer who wrote this or send them to the nearest Klingon mining colony.

This was also on the other side of the galaxy and didn't they find it by radio? And, I think they were still able to smell what the truck had been hauling (this after being exposed to vacuum for centuries). I watched about 10 minutes of that episode. Though unfortunately I did watch the Warp 10 episode, which pretty much everyone agrees is horrible.

LotusExcelle
2010-Oct-14, 01:36 AM
Starship Troopers: I wanted to get out of the movie theatre. I could not believe that I paid to see "Models in Space". And of course, there was nothing of the book in it, except for the general idea of a war against giant bugs, and the names of the protagonists. As a B-Movie to watch it at home and laugh it's fine, but at a theatre? It was terrible.



I'd like to offer my take on that movie. It was intentionally soap-opera, model, b-movie-esque. It was satire in thick layers.

Van Rijn
2010-Oct-14, 04:13 AM
And I remember a scene from an old B-Movie, that I am trying to find. It's another terrible one, but it should be good for a few laughs with friends. It has this alien woman, who looks exactly human. Now, this alien gets drunk on coffee! Anyone seen this and know what it's called?


I had to think about that one for awhile. Is it Something is Out There (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Something_Is_Out_There)? Maryam d'Abo played a "good" alien, there was an alien prison ship holding a very bad alien that got out, and she worked with a cop on Earth. This was the pilot, and there was also a TV series, though if the pilot was a "B" movie, the series would get a "D" (it was pretty bad). (ETA: Wikipedia says it started as a mini-series, but I think it was shown as a movie. Anyway, I remember d'Abo's character got drunk on coffee.)

By the way, I first thought of Alien Nation, but in that case, the aliens got drunk on sour milk. Aliens getting drunk on weird stuff is a pretty common idea.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-14, 04:40 AM
I'm amazed no one has mentioned Zardoz yet.

Gillianren
2010-Oct-14, 04:48 AM
By the way, I first thought of Alien Nation, but in that case, the aliens got drunk on sour milk. Aliens getting drunk on weird stuff is a pretty common idea.

I talked about it in my review of the movie. It's a quick and easy way of establishing that they're alien.

ggremlin
2010-Oct-14, 05:22 AM
I'm amazed no one has mentioned Zardoz yet.

That's because it is so bad that is it good type B-movie. People are normally stunned by the opening scene which is a pretty good special effect. How bad can a movie that starts with a flying head that spits out guns be? The Answer of course is A LOT!!!, but it is too late you have to find out what is going on!.

DukePaul
2010-Oct-14, 09:37 AM
Oh how I wish that MST3K had done me the honor of reviewing the truly classic Red Dawn. A movie so bad that if you think of it as a comedy it works.

Darkchilde
2010-Oct-14, 09:39 AM
I had to think about that one for awhile. Is it Something is Out There (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Something_Is_Out_There)? Maryam d'Abo played a "good" alien, there was an alien prison ship holding a very bad alien that got out, and she worked with a cop on Earth. This was the pilot, and there was also a TV series, though if the pilot was a "B" movie, the series would get a "D" (it was pretty bad). (ETA: Wikipedia says it started as a mini-series, but I think it was shown as a movie. Anyway, I remember d'Abo's character got drunk on coffee.)

That's the one! Thank you.



By the way, I first thought of Alien Nation, but in that case, the aliens got drunk on sour milk. Aliens getting drunk on weird stuff is a pretty common idea.

Nah, Alien Nation looks like a masterpiece compared. Alien Nation was actually quite good both as a film and as a TV series. It raised some valid questions and concerns.

As for ST:VOY, yes the Warp 10 episode is the worst Voyager episode. Another really bad Star Trek episode is Spock's Brain, from the original series. That one was hilariouly bad.

Selenite
2010-Oct-14, 12:28 PM
Oh how I wish that MST3K had done me the honor of reviewing the truly classic Red Dawn. A movie so bad that if you think of it as a comedy it works.

And wouldn't you know, they're shooting a re-make where they've substituted China for the Soviet Union ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dawn_%282010_film%29

Happily, it seems to be in production limbo at the moment. Somebody must have come to their senses.

DukePaul
2010-Oct-14, 03:35 PM
It has been a while since I have seen it but I really hated the second half of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome with the post-apocalyptic Sesame Street of wasteland orphans.

Fazor
2010-Oct-14, 03:55 PM
I don't mind "Beyond Thunderdome." I'd put it above "Road Warrior" anyway. But the whole Mad Max series -- like Lethal Weapon or Die Hard* -- is one of my guilty pleasures. I know they're awful, but I like them anyway.

*I still find it odd that they made a Die Hard, then skipped right to a Die Hard 3. And I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise. Oh, and '4:LFoDH' doesn't count -- It's hard to like a movie for it's 80's/90's action-camp value if it was made in 2007.

HenrikOlsen
2010-Oct-14, 04:50 PM
I'm amazed no one has mentioned Zardoz yet.
But that's because it's watchable. Not really good, but sorta enjoyably watchable.
And it ensures that Sean Connery don't get insufferably bigheaded by always making it possible to remind him of when he was wearing an orange diaper.

Gillianren
2010-Oct-14, 05:10 PM
Nah, Alien Nation looks like a masterpiece compared. Alien Nation was actually quite good both as a film and as a TV series. It raised some valid questions and concerns.

I watched an episode or two of the TV series and found it kind of dull, actually. I watched the movie anyway (Mandy Patinkin buff), and while I agree it did raise some valid questions and concerns, I felt it then promptly ignored them in favour of a bland cookie-cutter detective mystery.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-14, 05:26 PM
But that's because it's watchable. Not really good, but sorta enjoyably watchable.
And it ensures that Sean Connery don't get insufferably bigheaded by always making it possible to remind him of when he was wearing an orange diaper.

Too bad we don't have this kind of reminding for other actors.

Gillianren
2010-Oct-14, 06:39 PM
Oh, I can think of plenty of movies which we can use to shame various actors.

DukePaul
2010-Oct-14, 09:01 PM
Remember Solarbabies? How about Spacecamp? I do and I will forever be sicken by the fact.

HenrikOlsen
2010-Oct-14, 09:07 PM
Remember Solarbabies? How about Spacecamp? I do and I will forever be sicken by the fact.
But none of the people in those movies have gone on to have a career where they have a chance to need to be reminded of their previous roles.

Gas Giant
2010-Oct-20, 11:16 AM
And wouldn't you know, they're shooting a re-make where they've substituted China for the Soviet Union ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dawn_%282010_film%29

Happily, it seems to be in production limbo at the moment. Somebody must have come to their senses.
Either that, or they couldn't work out how to fit the "screaming Chinese" line in.

Fazor
2010-Oct-20, 02:26 PM
Hmm. No Ordinary Family is quickly becoming my new Ghost Whisperer. Cheesy, awful, unbelievable acting. Stupid plots. Characters that are smart or have a super ability when they need it, then in the next scene are stupid or don't think to use their powers depending on what's needed to make the plot work. Etc. It's just all really stupid.

Tara was the one that started watching it; and when I complain she agrees. But then when I ask if I can take it off the 'Series Manager' and stop recording it each week, it's always, "Eh, I wanna give it another week or two to see if it gets good!" Bah.

It's a shame too, because the dad is played by Michael Chiklis -- the actor that played 'Thing' in the Fantastic Four movies -- and I think he just has that likable quality. And he seemed to be able to act in the movies, at least enough to not be distracting. So I'm going to blame this show's writers.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-20, 06:27 PM
Not watching Chuck or Bones but that is because they are opposite other shows I want to watch.

S@!t My Father Says is alright but I have feeling if it was not between TBBT and CSI it wouldn't fare as well.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-20, 06:29 PM
It's a shame too, because the dad is played by Michael Chiklis -- the actor that played 'Thing' in the Fantastic Four movies -- and I think he just has that likable quality. And he seemed to be able to act in the movies, at least enough to not be distracting. So I'm going to blame this show's writers.
Chiklis was in the The Commish and The Sheild much better shows although I have not seen this recent one.

SkepticJ
2010-Oct-20, 09:47 PM
Hmm. No Ordinary Family is quickly becoming my new Ghost Whisperer. Cheesy, awful, unbelievable acting. Stupid plots. Characters that are smart or have a super ability when they need it, then in the next scene are stupid or don't think to use their powers depending on what's needed to make the plot work. Etc. It's just all really stupid.

So, it's like a comic book, then?

Van Rijn
2010-Oct-21, 12:03 AM
Hmm. No Ordinary Family is quickly becoming my new Ghost Whisperer. Cheesy, awful, unbelievable acting. Stupid plots. Characters that are smart or have a super ability when they need it, then in the next scene are stupid or don't think to use their powers depending on what's needed to make the plot work. Etc. It's just all really stupid.


I saw one episode, something about a ring. I hadn't watched anything before that, and I didn't know what their abilities were supposed to be. So, this kid (the son) got a B+ in a math class (it looked like basic algebra) and everyone was acting like this was a very big deal. Later he was said to have super genius powers. What? A B+ is good but not great, and if he was playing things down deliberately to try to hide his abilities, it wasn't working. Also, he was easily fooled by another student and appeared rather clueless, so he was obviously no Holmes. Anyway, based on that episode, his super-power seemed pretty pathetic (what is it, above average student power?), especially compared to the invulnerability/flight, superspeed, and telepathy of the other family members.

There were a lot of other problems, and the story was dull, so I didn't try to watch the next episode.

HenrikOlsen
2010-Oct-21, 03:24 AM
So, it's like a comic book, then?
Like a bad comic book maybe.

Graybeard6
2010-Oct-21, 05:04 AM
The only theatrical movie that I’ve been involved with was a turkey called “Ravagers” (1979) I spent two days shivering in an underground quarry In Huntsville, AL along with a couple of hundred actors, crew and other extras.

The director was Richard Compton, not Spielberg, but a good, workmanlike director; a graduate of the Roger Corman school of rapid film making. He had a long career in television. Check IMDB.

Stars were Richard Harris, Art Carney, Ann Turkel, Allana Stewart (Rod’s wife, at the time), Woody Strode And Ernest Borgnine.

It was a post-apocalytic story in which no life could reproduce. Harris spent the movie wandering through barren wastelands.
The movie was released and people walked out of the theatre with OMG expressions. Our ~30 hours in the quarrywas ~20 seconds on screen. It was shown, once, on cable; but never released on tape or DVD.

The odd thing is that there are people looking for it. They shouldn’t. It’s not “so bad it’s good’” it’s just bad. It’s even worse than Vercingetorix.

SkepticJ
2010-Oct-21, 04:08 PM
Like a bad comic book maybe.

I was mostly just making a joke.

I do think of Superman like that, though. At least all the depictions I've seen of him in movies and cartoons.

He's got heat-ray vision, but in combat he almost never uses it. He just punches people.

Heat-vision is either just used as a cutting or welding tool, or as a last ditch weapon when he's trapped in an arm hold, or whatever.

Let's see, on the one hand you have a weapon with a practically unlimited range, and on the other you have melee combat--which opens one up to being injured. Yeah, punching people in that context makes heaps of sense.

HenrikOlsen
2010-Oct-21, 05:03 PM
Well, he's also invulnerable, so melee doesn't include the chance of injury, and has a higher degree of control with less chance of stray shots.

Fazor
2010-Oct-21, 05:27 PM
I saw one episode, something about a ring. I hadn't watched anything before that, and I didn't know what their abilities were supposed to be. So, this kid (the son) got a B+ in a math class (it looked like basic algebra) and everyone was acting like this was a very big deal. Later he was said to have super genius powers. What? A B+ is good but not great, and if he was playing things down deliberately to try to hide his abilities, it wasn't working. Also, he was easily fooled by another student and appeared rather clueless, so he was obviously no Holmes. Anyway, based on that episode, his super-power seemed pretty pathetic (what is it, above average student power?), especially compared to the invulnerability/flight, superspeed, and telepathy of the other family members.

There were a lot of other problems, and the story was dull, so I didn't try to watch the next episode.

I must have missed the part about the ring, but they boy's "powers" are something like "Super Knowledge Powers! (ACTIVATE!)" Before he gained them, he had a learning dissability and was basically failing every class. Then he went to getting straight As, and the one teacher accused him of cheating. So he got a B instead, but the teacher still accuses him of cheating.

Part of his powers include the ability to, faster-than-detection, "see" mathematical equations and problem solutions (as glowing forumlas etc.) Well, in the latest episode, he uses this to become a star QB on the football team, despite being a good 8 inches shorter than the other atheletes, and weighing in at all of 90 lbs. Apparently, if you can instantly calculate vectors and velocities and parabolas etc., you can automatically complete a pass along that path, regardless of how weak, uncoordinated, or unathletic you are.

Gillianren
2010-Oct-21, 06:00 PM
Let's see, on the one hand you have a weapon with a practically unlimited range, and on the other you have melee combat--which opens one up to being injured. Yeah, punching people in that context makes heaps of sense.

I bet it's a lot easier to pull your punches than your heat vision. You really think the average thug has a chance to actually hurt Superman?

SkepticJ
2010-Oct-21, 06:24 PM
Well, he's also invulnerable, so melee doesn't include the chance of injury, and has a higher degree of control with less chance of stray shots.

Against normal people he's invulnerable.

General Zod and Crew cleaned his clock in Superman II.

He's always getting beat up in the '90s-Present DC cartoons.

Not by normal people, mind you. That's not who I was talking about anyway. Heat-vision would kill pathetic humans.

Van Rijn
2010-Oct-21, 08:01 PM
I must have missed the part about the ring, but they boy's "powers" are something like "Super Knowledge Powers! (ACTIVATE!)" Before he gained them, he had a learning dissability and was basically failing every class. Then he went to getting straight As, and the one teacher accused him of cheating. So he got a B instead, but the teacher still accuses him of cheating.


Well, that helps, but it would have been nice if they had at least hinted at that issue in the episode I was watching.



Part of his powers include the ability to, faster-than-detection, "see" mathematical equations and problem solutions (as glowing forumlas etc.) Well, in the latest episode, he uses this to become a star QB on the football team, despite being a good 8 inches shorter than the other atheletes, and weighing in at all of 90 lbs. Apparently, if you can instantly calculate vectors and velocities and parabolas etc., you can automatically complete a pass along that path, regardless of how weak, uncoordinated, or unathletic you are.

Oh, sure, that makes sense. :whistle:

HenrikOlsen
2010-Oct-21, 08:23 PM
Part of his powers include the ability to, faster-than-detection, "see" mathematical equations and problem solutions (as glowing forumlas etc.) Well, in the latest episode, he uses this to become a star QB on the football team, despite being a good 8 inches shorter than the other atheletes, and weighing in at all of 90 lbs. Apparently, if you can instantly calculate vectors and velocities and parabolas etc., you can automatically complete a pass along that path, regardless of how weak, uncoordinated, or unathletic you are.
At least Urkle and Dexter built and wore powered exoskeletons to compensate for their physical shortcomings when they beat the jocks.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-21, 08:52 PM
The new Law and Order I feel is not that good, they should of kept the old one.

Fazor
2010-Oct-21, 08:56 PM
The new Law and Order I feel is not that good, they should of kept the old one.

Which one is that? Tara started watching Law and Order:SVU recently. I don't like it, but I don't hate it. She also watches Criminal Minds, which I like better than SVU, but it's right on the cusp of being one I'd watch even if Tara didn't*.

I do like Bones though.

*Okay, one I'd watch even if Tara didn't if for some reason I cared enough to watch shows on TV other than Sports, Nova and the very rare History Channel special.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-21, 08:59 PM
It is the one in Los Angeles

Gillianren
2010-Oct-21, 09:23 PM
Whether they should have kept the old one or not, I cannot say; I haven't been watching much new television lately. But it just wasn't the same after Lenny went away.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Oct-21, 09:36 PM
Last night I turned the tv off and watched a couple of episodes of Band of Brothers instead of watching it which I have recorded on my computer.

The original one was canceled because of low ratings. It was moved so Jay could have his primetime comedy show.

vonmazur
2010-Oct-22, 02:50 AM
I have to add, the worst movie I ever sat thru was the Burt Reynolds Musical...."At Long Last, Love" Co starring Sybil Shepherd and Madeline Kahn...It was painful to watch, to hear, and to consider all the loot they spent to make this turkey....I was like listening to Clint Eastwood sing for 1 hr +.....I thought at first it was a joke of some kind, but NOOOO! They were serious...??

Dale

vonmazur
2010-Oct-22, 02:51 AM
Chiklis was in the The Commish and The Sheild much better shows although I have not seen this recent one.

Don't forget, he was John Belushi as well!!!

Dale

grapes
2010-Oct-22, 05:12 AM
Master of Disguise gets my vote, but it's a 3.0 at IMDb, where their bottom 100 (http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom)starts at 2.5 (which, ironically, is assigned to Bolero, which is 10 II)

SeanF
2010-Oct-22, 11:14 AM
Don't forget, he was John Belushi as well!!!

Dale
And Curly Howard. :)

vonmazur
2010-Oct-23, 02:33 AM
Sean: I forgot about that one...Woo Woo......etc.;)

Dale

JCoyote
2010-Oct-24, 11:38 AM
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. A movie so bad I wasn't able to watch the original, fun film for 5 years after seeing it. I contend that when you can't get Christopher Lambert to make a movie, you have obviously sinned against all reality.

Moose
2010-Oct-24, 04:28 PM
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. A movie so bad I wasn't able to watch the original, fun film for 5 years after seeing it. I contend that when you can't get Christopher Lambert to make a movie, you have obviously sinned against all reality.

And if you can only get one* of your D-list ensemble cast to return for the sequel, it's time to rethink your career and/or life.

* [Edit: My mistake. Two came back. Goodness knows why.]

jokergirl
2010-Oct-25, 01:53 PM
If somebody ever made a movie named Highlander 2, and if I were to actually watch it then, chances would be that would be the worst movie ever made.

But nobody ever made it, so it's all good.

;)

Professor Tanhauser
2010-Oct-29, 06:07 AM
I didn't think galaxy of terror was so bad, it had some good elements to it, and ray walston's acting was worth watching. Could use a remake by someone who wanted to make the movie good.

Professor Tanhauser
2010-Oct-29, 06:11 AM
Worst movies: Batman and robin, superman 4, indiana jones and the temple of doom, JJA's star trek crash (Not a reboot), the american atempt to make a godzilla movie and independence day 4.

Worst TV series: star trek voyager after it turned into the jeri ryan show, south park after it became an animated version of fox news, fox news and that horrible flash gordon show the SFC did a few years back that turned Dr. Zarkov from world saving hero to spastic, unwashed, flabby, whiney geek.

Ogami Itto
2010-Nov-03, 02:43 AM
Epic Movie was pretty bad.

Paul Beardsley
2010-Nov-03, 05:16 PM
Epic Movie was pretty bad.

Welcome to the board, Ogami.

Yes, I thought all the "<Genre> Movie" movies were abysmal. Not at all funny and not anything else either.

Gillianren
2010-Nov-03, 06:31 PM
We were talking about it some the other day. Why are those movies so terrible, but I'll still laugh myself sick over Airplane! and its ilk? I think there are two answers. The first is that, while Airplane! and Top Secret! are loaded with pop culture references, they don't rely on them. However, there is story beyond "Look! Pop culture!"

The other and more complicated issue is that the characters in those movies don't know they're in a funny movie. We do. We know they're characters in a comedy, but they're just living their lives, almost never winking at the camera. When they do, that is itself the joke. A sudden realization at the ludicrousness of their situation, and they move on as if it had never happened. Peter Graves (a serious actor, remember, which is itself part of the joke) really does want to know if Billy has ever been in a Turkish prison. Leslie Nielsen (who we now cannot picture as a serious actor) really did manage to have the lasagna when the choices were steak or fish. And Nick Rivers really did grow up in a Macy's.

Van Rijn
2010-Nov-04, 11:08 PM
Epic Movie was pretty bad.

I put that in my Netflix queue because there was one moderately funny bit in a promotional commercial. I took the DVD out after about 20 minutes of play. There have been some of the parody movies that, while not great, weren't horrible. This was horrible.

Fazor
2010-Nov-05, 01:41 AM
I don't know if I'd seen 'Epic Movie', but I agree with Van Rijn. I've seen some of those 'Whatever Movies' that, while I wouldn't even call them 'good', they at least have some funny parts.

As per the difference between these movies and classics like Mel Brooks' films, or Leslie Neilsons . . . It's one of those questions that's seems so obvious, yet I can't come up with an answer I'm satisfied with.

HenrikOlsen
2010-Nov-05, 07:35 AM
The difference is that after you remove the parody and jokes, the Brooks and Nielsen movies still have a movie left, if you do it with the others you get John Cage's "4'3.
Plus the observation Gillianren made, the characters don't know they're in a funny movie and the actors play them straight, while in the "blah movie"'s the actors play their characters as jokes.

Paul Beardsley
2010-Nov-05, 02:58 PM
John Cage's "4'3.

4'33".

(Sorry for the pedantry, but I submitted an essay on him when I was doing my art degree. The essay consisted of 5 blank pages.)

eburacum45
2010-Nov-05, 03:28 PM
Laughs (silently).

HenrikOlsen
2010-Nov-06, 01:30 PM
4'33".

(Sorry for the pedantry, but I submitted an essay on him when I was doing my art degree. The essay consisted of 5 blank pages.)
I was referring to the expurgate version. :)

Delvo
2010-Nov-07, 03:19 AM
4 feet and 33 inches? That's better known as 6'9".

RGClark
2010-Dec-05, 08:29 AM
Moontrap (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097911/). Researching early depictions of the Space Shuttle in fiction is usually fun, but I couldn't stand more than 10 minutes of this.

Interesting plot according to IMDB, and interesting stars. Where can I get the video?

Bob Clark

CJSF
2010-Dec-05, 04:37 PM
Interesting plot according to IMDB, and interesting stars. Where can I get the video?

Bob Clark

I've seen this movie, but for some reason I don't remember the shuttle being part of the story. I know they take an Saturn V and Apollo hardware out of "storage" and refurbish it for a mission, though. I think I remember a scene were a boom mic gets in the way, too.

CJSF

CJSF
2010-Dec-05, 04:40 PM
I'd have to go with the movie Tank Girl as one of the worst things I've ever watched. I don't know why I didn't walk out. Someone told me to check out the comic it was based on, and that was even worse!

CJSF

KaiYeves
2010-Dec-05, 11:08 PM
I've seen this movie, but for some reason I don't remember the shuttle being part of the story. I know they take an Saturn V and Apollo hardware out of "storage" and refurbish it for a mission, though. I think I remember a scene were a boom mic gets in the way, too.

CJSF

There's a scene on the shuttle at the beginning where they find the first trace of the aliens in LEO. (And Walter Koenig tries to be funny but just comes off as really annoying)

JonClarke
2010-Dec-06, 07:24 AM
I found Rocky Horro Picture Show unwatchable after about 10 minutes.

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Dec-06, 01:14 PM
Anyone remember Beastmaster from the late 90's.

DukePaul
2010-Dec-07, 07:04 AM
I am going to be cruel but truthful here. NASA's space/education/entertainment media programming sucks. Badly packaged, poor to boring kids science discussions with the "professionals" and an early 70's PBS Educational TV formula programming.

KaiYeves
2010-Dec-08, 08:42 PM
I am going to be cruel but truthful here. NASA's space/education/entertainment media programming sucks. Badly packaged, poor to boring kids science discussions with the "professionals" and an early 70's PBS Educational TV formula programming.
Yes, Why/Sci Files isn't that good, but it sometimes it has funny bits.

Solfe
2010-Dec-09, 04:06 AM
Starship Troopers 2 was really bad. In fact look at the second actor from the left (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Starship_Troopers_2.jpg)
I had the same look on my face for the duration of what I could stand.

I heard/read something funny about Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever; it makes as much sense played backwards (audio track included) as it does when played forward. I haven't seen it myself, but that does not sound like an endorsement. I am pretty sure that someone here posted that but I couldn't find it.