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Solfe
2010-Dec-08, 03:16 AM
When my daughter was a little over 2 years old, she saw me reading "Watership Down".

She asked, "Da, why there bunnies on you book?" I told her it was about rabbits. She laughed manically and went back to whatever she was doing. The next day, she asked the same question and I gave her the same answer.

This went on for a few days until she got mad that I wouldn't tell her what the book was really about. So I started on page one and read it to all of my kids. It took weeks because of vocabulary they didn't understand. This started a tradition of me reading books out loud for the whole family. It's better than TV. We read "The Hobbit", "The Last Unicorn" and started the Narnia books.

Catty developed this "thing" about animals, bunnies in particular. I had to read her a bunny book every night before anyone else got their story. Little did I know the problems this would cause.

About a year or so later, Catty was 3-ish and her brother Nate Dawg was 4-ish. I took them to a pet store that has rabbits.

If you think you know where this is going, you could not be more wrong. :)

Nate and Catty are the same size; always have been and likely, will always be. When they saw the one cage with rabbits there was frantic race to get there first.

Nate won, but Catty smooched his face into the bars of the cage so she could shout out "HELLO BUNNIES!" first. Nate chimed in with a slightly distorted "How are you?", trying pull his face off the bars. And then the fun began.

Catty turned around, eyes huge with surprise. She quietly said, "Da... They talk!"

Nate, now free to move said, "They do?"

Catty nodded and pressed her face right into the bars. Nate squeezed in next her and for several minutes, one would ask a question and the other would answer. Their little voices were distorted by having their faces pressed into the bars and each believed that the voice they heard was coming not from the other, but the bunnies.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not get them to stop and could not convince of the truth of what happened that day. Convincing them that rabbits do not talk took about a year.

I do not believe that I have been completely successful. My children love all animals, but when they see a rabbit they sit quietly in front of it. They do not speak, they stare and most importantly, they wait.

Jim
2010-Dec-08, 04:27 PM
When our son was about four we visited a pet store. We had done this before, just to look at all the animals. But this one had a very large white parrot that fascinated Jason. He stood by the bird's cage and talked to it, made hand gestures, tried to engage it. Since he seemed well occupied, we moved on.

A minute later we heard a muffled shriek coming from the direction of the parrot cage. We rushed back to see what had happened.

It seems Jason had become frustrated at the parrot's lack of response to his actions. So he had gotten close to the cage and stuck his tongue through the bars. The parrot immediately grabbed said tongue with his beak and refused to let go.

He was finally persuaded to do so, but Jason still has a very healthy respect for parrots.

rigel
2010-Dec-08, 08:23 PM
Each of my 3 younger sister wanted a bunny. Fortunately there always seemed to be a hutch in the back yard (the fascination only lasting one year when they had to feed them). It was the same when they were 14, then they got interested in boys.

Grey
2010-Dec-08, 09:09 PM
It was the same when they were 14, then they got interested in boys.So you put the boys in a hutch in the backyard, but your sisters got bored after awhile when they realized they'd have to feed them?

;)

danscope
2010-Dec-09, 05:55 AM
" Unattended children will be given 4 cups of esspresso ... and a puppy to bring home . " Holding your child's hand is a rich tradition which pays great rewards .

Swift
2010-Dec-09, 01:59 PM
" Unattended children will be given 4 cups of esspresso ... and a puppy to bring home . " Holding your child's hand is a rich tradition which pays great rewards .
Last year when I was in Newfoundland I purchased a button that reads "Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy". I wear it for special occasions at the nature center where I volunteer. :D

MAPNUT
2010-Dec-09, 02:56 PM
Somewhat older child, more sophisticated funnies. My hobby is landscape painting; I think I'm pretty good and have exhibited in local shows but never made a sale. One day when my daughter was 12 we had 4 hours to kill in New York's Central Park, while her older brothers were at an event. We sat beside The Pond where she was going to work on a school project and I set up to paint the view. A lot of people were walking by. After a couple of hours, when my painting was going well, I said to daughter, "Just think, someday when I'm a famous painter, all these people walking by won't realize they saw me at work one day."

Pause.

Daughter; "So, Daddy, when are you going to sell your first painting?"

Perikles
2010-Dec-09, 03:21 PM
I found my son (but not my daughter) could be quite philosophical in his thoughts at the age of four. He was fascinated by wolves, and finally concluded "it's true, isn't it? Wolves are so dangerous that there aren't any".

Fazor
2010-Dec-09, 04:19 PM
Daughter; "So, Daddy, when are you going to sell your first painting?"

Children always find a way to humble us. Like when I was out fishing and caught a nice size bass. I happily held it up to display it to the rest of the family, and my niece (age 5) said, "Wow! That's almost as big as the one I caught yesterday!"

rommel543
2010-Dec-09, 04:42 PM
Yes my youngest son has given me many occasions to laugh. Just after he learned to walk I was in the kitchen of my apartment (my ex-wife and I had recently split) doing the dishes, had supper in the oven and Marshall was walking around investigating. As parents know when a child has just learned to walk they tend to keep one hand on something at all times for balance (and I'm sure reassurance). So he walks into the kitchen and puts his hand on the glass front of the oven. Now before you get all freaked out about it, it was one of those stoves that has the insulated fronts where the glass gets to about a hot-water bottle temperature, even at 450 degrees. Anyways Marshall, looking directly at me, gets this shocked look on his face and pulls his hand away. Then puts his hand back on the glass, gets a shocked look and pulls his hand away, then puts his hand back. This repeated a couple of times while I dried my hands off and went over to pick him up. He was shocked and upset, but not hurt and I did my best not to laugh at it all.

Years later when he was about 7 or 8 I had made supper which included green beans. He is one of those children (like most are) that isn't a big fan of vegetables, but at the same time he is ADD and has very short memory. He's gotten better now, but back then he couldn't tell you what he did the day before. So I served up his supper, which he promptly made the comment "Ew, I don't like those" while poking the green beans. To which I replied (and to this day I don't know why it came into my head) "Really! I made them last week and you really liked them, thats why I made them again. Just because you liked them so much". He was surprised, and said "Oh ok" and proceeded to eat all the beans making the comment "Hmm, I do like them". My wife and I were having a very hard time not laughing. In fact she had to get up from the table.

Two years ago we were at a family friends house, the adults were in the living room enjoying some Christmas cheer while the kids were upstairs bugging the college aged people who were watching a movie (Die Hard I believe). The daughter of the person we were visiting was up there and started talking with the boys and asked what their favorite movies are and if they like Die Hard. My oldest son Zack said that he liked it, but didn't like Die Hard 2 to which Mia responded that most people don't like the squeals to movies. To which Marshall, looking like he is completely oblivious to the conversation, responds "I suppose, unless you never saw the first one then you might really like the second one", and keeps watching the movie.

SeanF
2010-Dec-09, 09:48 PM
Children always find a way to humble us. Like when I was out fishing and caught a nice size bass. I happily held it up to display it to the rest of the family, and my niece (age 5) said, "Wow! That's almost as big as the one I caught yesterday!"
When my daughter was about four, we were discussing what I might want to be when I grow up. :)

She was listing things - "You could be a fireman, or a bus driver, or a teacher..."

I said, "...Or I could be a computer programmer..." (which is what I actually do).

She said, "...Or you could work..." :lol:

danscope
2010-Dec-10, 01:14 AM
Last year when I was in Newfoundland I purchased a button that reads "Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy". I wear it for special occasions at the nature center where I volunteer. :D

Hi Swift, ROTFLMAO !!!!! Now there's a great button !

Dan

MAPNUT
2010-Dec-11, 12:19 AM
This is a list of "little pranks" my son pulled in his second year of life. We bring it out now and then whenever as an adult he needs to be embarrassed. The items aren't that funny by themselves, but I think there's a cumulative effect.

Unrolled 30 feet of toilet paper
Washed hands in toilet
Ate cinders from the fireplace
Tipped over the garbage pail and ate swiss chard stems
Strewed half a box of Pampers over the master bedroom
Strewed half a box of Kleenex around the living room
Fell out of the front door
Sat in the laundry basket tossing out laundry
Dumped his brother's dinner on his chair
Hit Daddy with a hammer, stuck his fingers up my nose, kicked me in the head
Pulled flowerpot off the windowsill
Wrapped telephone cord around himself, then fell off the couch
Got stuck between the TV table and the bookcase
Got stuck in the back rails of a chair
Strewed half a box of sanitary napkins around the bedroom
Took moldy bread from the garbage and ate it
Unrolled 10 feet of waxed paper
Unrolled 50 feet of plastic wrap
Broke Mommy's glasses
Pulled another flowerpot off the windowsill
Took record off the turntable and threw it on the floor
Tipped lamp over on Mommy's head
Took rubber mat off the turntable and drooled on it
Dropped 2 books and his bottle in the humidifier
Ate dirt out of a plant pot
Excavated a hole in the side of his brother's birthday cake
Broke Mommy's other glasses
Broke the telephone (at last)
Tore antenna cord off the TV
Washed three washcloths in the toilet
Broke 5 eggs on the kitchen floor.

grapes
2010-Dec-11, 12:49 AM
Convincing them that rabbits do not talk took about a year. Hilarious! I just read my wife that story!

I always tell the story of losing my first argument with my son. When my son was less than a year old he only knew one word: "ball". How that happened, I dunno. We took him for a walk one early evening, and he pointed above my shoulder and said "ball". I said, no there's no ball up there. Of course, when I turned around, I could clearly see that he was right: the moon was almost full, and high in the sky.

SeanF
2010-Dec-11, 02:27 AM
Ate cinders from the fireplace
My niece once ate kitty litter. And not out of the purchased container, either - out of the cat's litter box.


I always tell the story of losing my first argument with my son.
Cute. :)

I lost an argument with that same niece, once. She must've been about four and her little brother was two. He was looking at a picture of a bison and called it a "cow." She corrected him - "It's a buffalo." So I decided I'd defend the little guy and started arguing with her. We went back and forth a couple times ("It's a cow." "It's a buffalo." "It's a cow!" "It's a buffalo!").

Finally I decided I'd confuse her. "Buffalo," I said, "is the second-largest city in New York."

She didn't even break stride - she just pointed at the picture and said, "That is New York!"

Grashtel
2010-Dec-11, 03:44 AM
No matter how hard I tried, I could not get them to stop and could not convince of the truth of what happened that day. Convincing them that rabbits do not talk took about a year.

I do not believe that I have been completely successful. My children love all animals, but when they see a rabbit they sit quietly in front of it. They do not speak, they stare and most importantly, they wait.
{quietly adds an item to the list of fun and evil uses for concealed speakers}

Tinaa
2010-Dec-11, 03:14 PM
In elementary school my children had to read aloud to me for 30 minutes every night. It was my least favorite thing to do. When the girls were in second and third grade, I assigned Devon, the elder, the task of helping her sister while we drove home. They, too, loved animals and frequently picked out NF books about animals. I was thinking about what I was going to fix for supper when I heard Dusti reading her book about an octopus. I looked the rear view mirror and thought how nice it was that her big sister was really being a great helper. Aloud I then heard, "The octopus has eight te, te" I was about to help her with the word tentacles when her sister broke in with the superior tone big sisters have, "testicles Dusti, testicles. Everyone knows octopuses have eight testicles."

TJMac
2010-Dec-11, 04:11 PM
Ah, bunnies. I have a distinct memory, although I must have been only 4 at the time, of finding a sweet little bunny one winter, that wasn't even afraid of me. It let me pick it up, and pet it, without struggling to get away even a little bit. Quite proud of my find, I ignored my jealous siblings advice that I should NOT take it to the house and show my parents.

Whereupon, my parents, who previously had seemed so loving and kind, informed me with great malice, that my adorable pet bunny who just wanted to be my friend.... Was actually a sad little fellow who had frozen to death.

I was the only one who could not grasp that situation. I remember being so upset, crying and crying, while my father gently took my new pet, and disposed of it.

Ah, bunnies...

danscope
2010-Dec-11, 07:33 PM
Ah yes. Each spring we see the little signs telling us of " Bunnies for Sale " :)
...And then a few weeks later , you see the signs for " RABBIT CAGES " .

The Backroad Astronomer
2010-Dec-11, 08:32 PM
And on some menus you will see "Rabbit Stew".

rommel543
2010-Dec-13, 02:36 PM
Growing up on the farm, bunnies were our cat's favorite food. We would usually find a various body part here or their on the front step after one of the cats were out for the night. More so in the winter when the gophers and mice were harder to catch under the snow.

Fazor
2010-Dec-13, 03:29 PM
Heh, kids always surprise me with the things they retain. About six months ago, I got a new leather cuff (like a watchband without the watch), and when we were having dinner with the family that week, my niece saw it and said, "What is that?" Well, I couldn't just say it's a bracelet (because it's a cuff, dangit! And I'm a smart-alec), so I said it's there to keep my hand from falling off. She looked at me incredulously, and when we laughed at her she seemed in on the joke.

Well, I wear it almost every day, so I've had it on just about every time I've seen her since. I had completely forgotten about that conversation until last Friday night, when we had dinner with the family. We were watching a movie afterwards, and as we were sitting there, she looked at it and said, "I don't have one of those. There's no cracks in MY arm!" and "has your hand fell off yet?" I had to take it off to show her that my arm was perfectly fine. Of course, then I had to mention that the crack had healed . . .

Lord Jubjub
2010-Dec-14, 01:21 AM
In elementary school my children had to read aloud to me for 30 minutes every night. It was my least favorite thing to do. When the girls were in second and third grade, I assigned Devon, the elder, the task of helping her sister while we drove home. They, too, loved animals and frequently picked out NF books about animals. I was thinking about what I was going to fix for supper when I heard Dusti reading her book about an octopus. I looked the rear view mirror and thought how nice it was that her big sister was really being a great helper. Aloud I then heard, "The octopus has eight te, te" I was about to help her with the word tentacles when her sister broke in with the superior tone big sisters have, "testicles Dusti, testicles. Everyone knows octopuses have eight testicles."

Suddenly, "Better Off Dead" runs through my mind. . .

Krel
2010-Dec-14, 02:01 AM
When I was about ten, or eleven we had a pet rabbit. My Dad made a very nice, large enclosed hutch at the back of the yard, about sixty feet from the house. One day I went out to feed the bunny. I opened the door, and the rabbit was sitting in the food dish (can anyone enplane to me the fascination rabbits have with sitting in their food bowl?), so I patted the bunny on it's fluffy little tail to get it to move. The rabbit produced the most ear splitting shriek I have ever heard in my life, and it kept screaming bloody murder! My Mom, my Dad, and all four siblings all heard it. Over sixty feet away, inside a climate controlled house. All of them came out to see what was being brutally murdered. I'm in shock, as I had never before in my life heard a rabbit utter a sound. After seeing that the rabbit was not being vivisected alive, my Dad thought it was hilarious. He raised rabbits when he was a kid, so he knew how loud they could be.

I was all over that fluffy rodent that day it was in my lap being petted, and it released what seem to be a quart of liquid onto my lap. Not to worry, it lived a nice, long life, I just never held it again. :lol:

David.

Jim
2010-Dec-14, 06:27 PM
I don't trust rabbits. There's no telling when they will mutate into flesh-eating giants. In fact, this happened once already with horrific results.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069005/

Swift
2010-Dec-14, 06:43 PM
The rabbit produced the most ear splitting shriek I have ever heard in my life, and it kept screaming bloody murder!
I live right next to a state nature preserve, so we see and hear all kinds of critters. One late evening we heard the worst screams, it sounded like an animal was being tortured. I talked to a naturalist friend of mine who said it was probably a rabbit.

rommel543
2010-Dec-14, 09:41 PM
The rabbit produced the most ear splitting shriek I have ever heard in my life

You've never heard my youngest scream. When his brothers are chasing him around he scream/squeals like something is out to murder him. Oddly enough for a child that makes as much noise as he does, he's scared of loud noises.

Solfe
2010-Dec-15, 03:06 AM
I love having the three kids so close in age, it makes for interesting and sometimes circular conversations.

We were watching a Danica Patrick race.
PJ: Da, who's driving that black car?
Me: Danica Patrick. She's winning.
Catty: She is a girl - in a black car?!?!?
Nate: Girl's don't drive black cars, they drive pink cars.
Catty: Da, where is the pink car?
Me: There is no pink car.
PJ: Then who's winning, Da?
Me: Danica Patrick is driving the black car. She's winning. (conversation starts over... and over and over.)

Adding other children is even more fun. The neighbor boy doesn't make a distinction between "famous" and "superhero", so all people on TV to him were "Superheroes". The resulting conversation/screaming match was awesome!

(I make no political commentary here, the kids really meant Barack Obama, but couldn't pronounce his name correctly mostly due to youth/frustration/excitement. PJ also believes that all people on the news are reporters or as he calls them: newsmen and newswomen.)

Neighbor boy: Barack Obama is a superhero.
PJ: Barack Obama isn't a superhero, he's is a guy on TV.
Neighbor boy: Yeah, he's a superhero.
Nate: Who's "Rock Abama"?
PJ: He this guy in a suit.
Catty: Like Ironman?
Nate: Rock Abama is Ironman?
At this point the neighbor boy drifted away, alarmed by the screaming.
PJ: NO! NO! NO! Barack Obama is a Newsman! He wears a suit! (Screamed syllable by syllable.)
Catty and Nate: Ironman is a newsman?!?
Catty and Nate drift away trying to figure out if there are newsmen and women, does that mean there is an Ironwoman and if so does she wear pink and purple or pink and gold. PJ is offended by the silliness of his little brother and sister. A few minutes later, Catty and Nate return to ask PJ if Barack Obama is REALLY Ironman which starts the whole thing over again.

Swift
2010-Dec-15, 04:24 AM
Solfe - ROFL :lol: Those are great stories.