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Buttercup
2011-Sep-20, 10:31 PM
One incident which stands out in mind (came back to me 5 minutes ago, due to a passing reference to State) occurred in the 1990s. I was very young, single; had driven to Laramie, Wyoming from Omaha, Nebraska for the weekend. I put up at a Hotel 6 (for non-Americans, it's budget accommodations; nice clean rooms at reasonable rate).

After packing in my suitcase and purse, I went outdoors and stood on 2-storey balcony to view the sun setting behind the nearby gorgeous mountains. :)

Not 2 minutes later, here comes this man (perhaps in his mid-50s), exasperatingly demanding to know why I wasn't "down at the car" helping him/them (family?) get their stuff unloaded??

:eh:

Hotel 6 does NOT employ bellboys (or bellpeople). It has no assistive staff. I was also in street clothes (not a uniform -- duh!).

He was serious. :eh:

I shrugged and said, "Well I don't work here."

He turned and left.

You?

Noclevername
2011-Sep-21, 04:50 AM
Same thing happened to my brother-in-law at a dinner party, a guy just walks up to him and says "get me a drink!"

pzkpfw
2011-Sep-21, 05:18 AM
I did it to someone the other day.

He was standing by the concierge desk, looking like he was waiting for something to do; and the suit he was wearing kind of made him look like staff.

I wanted help with a trolley for a bunch of bags, so I went over and asked him "um, do you work here?".

He didn't.

I felt very bad about it later, as he was of different colour than me, and I worried that he thought I'd made the assumption of his role based on that.

Noclevername
2011-Sep-21, 05:58 AM
I did it to someone the other day.

He was standing by the concierge desk, looking like he was waiting for something to do; and the suit he was wearing kind of made him look like staff.

I wanted help with a trolley for a bunch of bags, so I went over and asked him "um, do you work here?".

He didn't.

I felt very bad about it later, as he was of different colour than me, and I worried that he thought I'd made the assumption of his role based on that.

At least you had the courtesy to ask instead of simply making demands.

Van Rijn
2011-Sep-21, 06:18 AM
One time I remember I was trying to find a sales person, and I see someone that might be, so I start walking towards them, and then they start walking in my direction, so I'm thinking they're coming over to help. Still, as we get closer, I don't see a name tag or other clear indicators, so I ask "Do you work here?" and they say, "I was walking over to ask you the same thing."

Cougar
2011-Sep-21, 03:31 PM
Well, this didn't exactly happen to me, but I think it fits the category....







Recently at a New York cocktail party, a young physicist was asked how he made his living and he replied that he was by specialty a cosmologist. While it might be debated whether cosmology constitutes a "living," his host remained undeterred and immediately inquired if it would be possible to make an appointment for a manicure and a haircut. -- Science a la Mode, Physical Fashions and Fictions [1989] -- Tony Rothman

Buttercup
2011-Sep-21, 03:42 PM
Well, this didn't exactly happen to me, but I think it fits the category....







Recently at a New York cocktail party, a young physicist was asked how he made his living and he replied that he was by specialty a cosmologist. While it might be debated whether cosmology constitutes a "living," his host remained undeterred and immediately inquired if it would be possible to make an appointment for a manicure and a haircut. -- Science a la Mode, Physical Fashions and Fictions [1989] -- Tony Rothman

Lol!! Good grief. Doesn't surprise me though.

Enjoying the replies! :)

grapes
2011-Sep-21, 04:24 PM
One incident which stands out in mind (came back to me 5 minutes ago, due to a passing reference to State) occurred in the 1990s. I was very young, single; had driven to Laramie, WyomingI was a cab driver in Laramie in the early 1970s. A guy was traveling across country to start a new job in California, and his car broke down. He called for a cab many times during the day, and I ran a tab--he was trying to get his car fixed, then get airline tickets when that proved to take too long, then he needed to get an airline carrier for his poodle. At the end of the day, on the way to the airport, he offered his car keys, and promised to send the title. What can you do? Arrest him?

A couple weeks later, I got the title in the mail. And the car had 15 bucks under the seats, and a trunk full of tools. And a few other things.

LaurelHS
2011-Sep-21, 04:34 PM
Similar to the stories above, I was at Burger King once and a lady wanted the restaurant to deliver food to her home. They told her they don't do that, so she randomly turned to me and asked me to drive her home once she got her food. I couldn't grant her request, though, because I don't have a car.

Jim
2011-Sep-21, 04:48 PM
When I was a kid, one of our neighbors had stopped by for a visit with my mother. The two sat at the kitchen table, talking, when the wall phone rang. The neighbor was sitting nearest, so she answered*.

"Hello. ... No, this isn't Cox's (department store). ... Yes, I'm sure. ... Goodbye."

A moment later, the phone rang again and she answered again.

"Hello. ... No, this still isn't Cox's. Goodbye."

Another moment, another ring, and this time...

"Cox's Department Store, how may I help you? ... Of course, I recognize the name! ... Yes, we have those in stock. ... Sure, I'll send them right out to you and charge your account. Goodbye, and thanks for shopping Cox's."



*I think I mentioned in another thread that we didn't lock our doors then, either. Better times. (sigh)

Buttercup
2011-Sep-21, 05:07 PM
Grapes, that was quite a situation. :confused:

Laurel: Nice of you to have done that favor, if you could have.


A moment later, the phone rang again and she answered again.

"Hello. ... No, this still isn't Cox's. Goodbye."

Another moment, another ring, and this time...

"Cox's Department Store, how may I help you? ... Of course, I recognize the name! ... Yes, we have those in stock. ... Sure, I'll send them right out to you and charge your account. Goodbye, and thanks for shopping Cox's."

ROFL!!! :D


*I think I mentioned in another thread that we didn't lock our doors then, either. Better times. (sigh)

Those days are long gone.

grapes
2011-Sep-21, 05:58 PM
Grapes, that was quite a situation. :confused:I didn't work there long, but it was long enough. That got me thinking about that time.

The owner of the cab company had been one of their main customers, so he bought the business--we ferried castings to and from area dentists. We also picked up and delivered alcohol for a local after hours "club" that was the popular after-closing (2am) hangout. We got calls from individuals too, to pick up fifths--and I sometimes got calls hours later with indecent propositions (patched through when the board operator went home). Other weird deliveries were the black-edged telegrams from Western Union, the drivers were required (by law?) to wait while the recipient opened and read it, in case they needed help.

Buttercup
2011-Sep-21, 06:05 PM
We also picked up and delivered alcohol for a local after hours "club" that was the popular after-closing (2am) hangout. We got calls from individuals too, to pick up fifths--

Wow. :confused: Not sure why I'm surprised, though.


and I sometimes got calls hours later with indecent propositions (patched through when the board operator went home).

Geez!! You could probably write a book. ;)

pzkpfw
2011-Sep-21, 07:06 PM
... black-edged telegrams from Western Union, the drivers were required (by law?) to wait while the recipient opened and read it, in case they needed help.

Does that mean "bad news"? Military or civilian deaths?

nosbig5
2011-Sep-21, 07:38 PM
Yes, the US govt sent black-edged telegrams by taxi to inform families of their child's death in Vietnam.

Buttercup
2011-Sep-21, 07:51 PM
Yes, the US govt sent black-edged telegrams by taxi to inform families of their child's death in Vietnam.

Whoa. :( Don't mean to sound callus at all, but what a position to put a cab driver in. The parent(s) goes into hysterics, faints, whatever -- and you're obligated to be there. :(

Tensor
2011-Sep-21, 07:58 PM
I was doing my usual preparation prior to going on for a show, when one of my cast mates came running in and asked me to rush someone to the hospital, with a sword wound. They were practicing the fight choreography for a couple of the sword fights that were part of the show and one of the guys forgot a move and zigged when he should have zagged and ended up with a fairly large gash in his upper arm.

The funny part was the reaction of the people at the hospital. Everyone came over because they had never seen a sword wound, and wanted to see one. By that time, the pressure we had put on the wound had worked and it had stopped bleeding. And those that came over were kinda disappointed. He ended up with 10 stitches and we were back just before the start of the second scene in act 1 (Just before my entrance, they kept him out of the show that night).

Clive Tester
2011-Sep-21, 07:58 PM
I went to collect my faulty motorcycle with a mechanic, and ended up driving a milk float: didnít imagine that I would do that when I woke that morning.

LaurelHS
2011-Sep-22, 02:33 AM
Laurel: Nice of you to have done that favor, if you could have.
One favour I did do was sit next to a stranger's baby on Via Rail for a few minutes so his mother could use the washroom. I didn't really mind doing this (the baby wasn't fussing or anything), but I had no idea why she asked me to watch him. I guess I looked trustworthy or something. I do have some babysitting experience, but this mother had no way of knowing.

LaurelHS
2011-Sep-22, 02:34 AM
Yes, the US govt sent black-edged telegrams by taxi to inform families of their child's death in Vietnam.

The present-day policy of sending two officers to make the notification in person seems much more humane.

HenrikOlsen
2011-Sep-22, 06:39 AM
So instead of ruining the day for a family and one taxi driver they ruin it for one family and two officers?
Hmmm.

Torsten
2011-Sep-22, 07:43 AM
I worked summers in the aluminum smelter in Kitimat, BC when I was 16-19 years old. The last two summmers my job was "metal relaimer". It was in the casting department, where ingots are poured and packaged. There was almost nothing for me to do, and there was no direction whatsoever from management, so to keep from dieing of boredom on the graveyard shift, I decided to sweep the floor of the building every night. Really, that was the most exciting thing I could find to do there. The first night there was a lot of dust and debris to dispose of, but on the subsequent nights there was just a trace of fine dust. I took about four hours to do the whole building, so that occupied me for half the shift. On about the fourth night after I'd started to do this, the foreman, who I considered to be almost clueless, came out of his office and saw what I was doing. He said, "When you've finished this area, make sure you get that area over there..."

I rolled my eyes and kept sweeping.

Jim
2011-Sep-22, 12:08 PM
Yes, the US govt sent black-edged telegrams by taxi to inform families of their child's death in Vietnam.

The present-day policy of sending two officers to make the notification in person seems much more humane.

Telegrams were the policy for a long time.

There's a scene in We Were Soldiers where Col. Moore's wife sees the Western Union man carrying one of "those" telegrams through base housing and looking very distraught. He asks her where so-and-so lives. It's not for her and she's relieved, but it's obvious he doesn't want to do this, so she makes him a deal.

From then on, he brings any telegrams to her and she will deliver them, along with some of the other officers' wives. A support group.

Jim
2011-Sep-22, 12:15 PM
One favour I did do was sit next to a stranger's baby on Via Rail for a few minutes so his mother could use the washroom. ...

I was on a flight once where I sat next to a young mother and her baby. The baby was less than calm, maybe teeting, and mom was soothing him by putting whiskey on her finger and rubbing his gums with it. At one point, she asked me if I'd hold baby while she went back to the smoking section (They had them then.) for a quick cigarette.

She returned just after the stewardess (Hey, smoking section, remember? They weren't "flight attendants" yet.) announced our approach for landing... almost an hour later. Lo-o-o-ong cigarette.

Fortunately, baby was sufficiently snockered that he slept the whole time.

DonM435
2011-Sep-22, 12:35 PM
I was on a flight once where I sat next to a young mother and her baby. The baby was less than calm, maybe teeting, and mom was soothing him by putting whiskey on her finger and rubbing his gums with it. At one point, she asked me if I'd hold baby while she went back to the smoking section (They had them then.) for a quick cigarette.

She returned just after the stewardess (Hey, smoking section, remember? They weren't "flight attendants" yet.) announced our approach for landing... almost an hour later. Lo-o-o-ong cigarette.

Fortunately, baby was sufficiently snockered that he slept the whole time.

You should have insisted upon the baby's whiskey flask as part of the deal.

Buttercup
2011-Sep-22, 12:45 PM
She returned just after the stewardess (Hey, smoking section, remember? They weren't "flight attendants" yet.) announced our approach for landing... almost an hour later. Lo-o-o-ong cigarette.

Fortunately, baby was sufficiently snockered that he slept the whole time.

Gosh!! :doh:

Perikles
2011-Sep-22, 01:32 PM
Not so much weird as laughable:

When I was living in rural Wales, there was a knock on the door. A woman I knew fairly well said she needed my help. The next day was a whole-day nude art day arranged for 15 women, and they needed a male model - would I be interested, as I would make a great model? (She had seen me in the sauna(!)). I considered this, and imagined the scene, probably in a freezing old mansion house, surrounded by women, most of whom I knew. Surreal. I was flattered to be asked, but for various complicated reasons I was tending towards declining the invitation. So I thought of some alternative potential models, and asked "have you thought of asking X?" and "howabout Y?" After exhausting my list of possible alternatives, all of whom she had already asked, it dawned on me that I was in fact the last person on her list of people to ask, and she was clearly scraping the barrel. My initial feeling of elation suddenly went into reverse.

Fazor
2011-Sep-22, 01:35 PM
My initial feeling of elation suddenly went into reverse.
That's an awesome story that's going into my "if I ever become a sitcom writer" file. But if anyone asks, I thought of it myself and deny reading your post and making this one. </Hollywood>

Buttercup
2011-Sep-22, 02:24 PM
After exhausting my list of possible alternatives, all of whom she had already asked, it dawned on me that I was in fact the last person on her list of people to ask, and she was clearly scraping the barrel. My initial feeling of elation suddenly went into reverse.

Oh my. :(

Another, I've just recalled:

Years ago a patient's phone call came to the transcription office. The patient, a man, asked me if he could stop taking his blood pressure medication. :confused: I'd identified myself as a transcriber from the get-go. I explained to him the receptionist forwarded his call to the wrong department, and to please hold on while I transferred him to the doctor's desk. He said NO -- he simply wanted a quick answer (as if I had the authority to answer!); could he stop taking his blood pressure medicine? I reiterated I was NOT a doctor (nor a nurse!), he'd have to get that permission from his doctor. Nothing doing; he wanted ME to tell him if he could or couldn't!!

It was pointless to keep talking to him, so I simply transferred his call to his doctor. But gee, I could have told that man "Yeah, quit taking your medicine" and he'd have done it!

Fazor
2011-Sep-22, 02:33 PM
But gee, I could have told that man "Yeah, quit taking your medicine" and he'd have done it!

That's what he wanted. He probably didn't care if it was the right answer or not, so long as it's what he wanted to hear.

starcanuck64
2011-Sep-22, 06:09 PM
This is probably more gross than weird, but my first jobs as a 16 years old was driving around a ranch in the BC Cariboo region(without a licence) picking up dead calves and transporting them to the property dump. Most had been picked over by the coyotes and some were flat and dried out and could be thrown like a frisbee from the back of the truck. Not a great memory for just the smell.

Luckmeister
2011-Sep-22, 06:51 PM
This is probably more gross than weird, but my first jobs as a 16 years old was driving around a ranch in the BC Cariboo region(without a licence) picking up dead calves and transporting them to the property dump. Most had been picked over by the coyotes and some were flat and dried out and could be thrown like a frisbee from the back of the truck. Not a great memory for just the smell.

That would have made a good episode on the Dirtiest Jobs TV series.

Fazor
2011-Sep-22, 06:55 PM
. . . and some were flat and dried out and could be thrown like a frisbee from the back of the truck . . .

FLAT cattle mysteriously dead in a field?! Do you realize you were playing FRISBEE with important EVIDENCE OF ALIEN VISITATiON?!?!?!!






...sorry

Buttercup
2011-Sep-22, 06:59 PM
That would have made a good episode on the Dirtiest Jobs TV series.

That's what I was thinking. ;)

And hmmmm...Fazor might be onto something??

Luckmeister
2011-Sep-22, 07:19 PM
That's what I was thinking. ;)

And hmmmm...Fazor might be onto something??

Or on something?? :lol: Whichever, keep 'em comin' Fazor.

Here's my story that seemed pretty weird at the time. I was fresh out of college starting my first job (a writing job in the early space program) with a subcontractor on a military contract. I was concerned about pulling my weight so I worked my tail off. After a couple of weeks, the boss called me into his office and said, "I have to talk to you about your work." I thought, "Uh oh, I was afraid of this."

He then said that they were about to ask for a contract extension and my prolific work output was hurting our case, so I should cut back my productivity. My jaw hit the floor!! That was an early education into how the economic world works (and why things cost so much). :doh:

Fazor
2011-Sep-22, 07:39 PM
That reminds me a little of one of my previous jobs, which was through an employer who got payroll assistance for hiring people with disabilities. After working with them for six months or so, it was time for their yearly audit. They "strongly urged" us to list a disability even if we didn't have one. I of course did not, so they pulled me aside and again "strongly urged" i put something because, you see, they get more money for more disabled employees.

They didn't directly say to lie, but it was one of those 'We're not telling you to lie about it, but, ya'know' *WINK!* things. I again politely said "I don't have any disabilities." They had this look of . . . disappointment? Or "Oh my gosh this guy's stupid and not understanding our suggestion!"

I, of course, did understand. But I refuse to say I'm disabled when I'm not. If they really want someone that is, they can hire them and fire me (though that'd be illegal, it's not like they couldn't have found away "around" that.) They didn't, and I can't say they treated me unfairly afterwards (particularly since I was soon promoted to the second highest position available, ahead of people who had worked for them for years.) But it was an awkward request to be asked to lie about something like that.

Stubby Boardman
2011-Sep-22, 07:45 PM
Not in the same league as some of the stories here, but I just had a strange request. I was walking past a man on a park bench who said "Excuse me".

Contrary to my usual urban practice, I stopped, since he didn't look like an obvious beggar or lunatic. He asked me: "How may days are in this month?"

I was sure I misheard, so I begged his pardon.

He said: "How many days in the month?"

I said: "30."

He said: "God bless you."

I have no idea what that was about.

Luckmeister
2011-Sep-22, 07:58 PM
I, of course, did understand. But I refuse to say I'm disabled when I'm not. If they really want someone that is, they can hire them and fire me (though that'd be illegal, it's not like they couldn't have found away "around" that.) They didn't, and I can't say they treated me unfairly afterwards (particularly since I was soon promoted to the second highest position available, ahead of people who had worked for them for years.) But it was an awkward request to be asked to lie about something like that.

Absolutely! I cut back a little on my work and we got our extension. It was only a month extension so it didn't cost the taxpayers a lot but I felt crappy about it.

That same subcontractor padded my resume with outright lies before submitting it to the prime contractor. The result was that I put off submitting paperwork for my security clearance until the job was finished because the discrepancies would have been obvious. I learned from all that to make sure everything was accurate and honest in future employment.

Swift
2011-Sep-22, 08:01 PM
They didn't directly say to lie, but it was one of those 'We're not telling you to lie about it, but, ya'know' *WINK!* things. I again politely said "I don't have any disabilities." They had this look of . . . disappointment? Or "Oh my gosh this guy's stupid and not understanding our suggestion!"

You could have said your disability is that you suffer from an excess of honesty.

Fazor
2011-Sep-22, 08:04 PM
You could have said your disability is that you suffer from an excess of honesty.

But that'd be a lie too. Otherwise, I'd never last in the insurance industry. Right? (I say embrace stereotypes!)

Moose
2011-Sep-22, 08:06 PM
But that'd be a lie too.

"I was born lacking duplicity. It isn't crippling, though. You manage when you have no other choice."

Swift
2011-Sep-22, 08:06 PM
Originally Posted by LaurelHS

Originally Posted by nosbig5
Yes, the US govt sent black-edged telegrams by taxi to inform families of their child's death in Vietnam.The present-day policy of sending two officers to make the notification in person seems much more humane.
Telegrams were the policy for a long time.

There's a scene in We Were Soldiers where Col. Moore's wife sees the Western Union man carrying one of "those" telegrams through base housing and looking very distraught. He asks her where so-and-so lives. It's not for her and she's relieved, but it's obvious he doesn't want to do this, so she makes him a deal.

From then on, he brings any telegrams to her and she will deliver them, along with some of the other officers' wives. A support group.
There is also the similar scene in A League of Their Own.

I'm not sure if the two officers (versus the telegram) is more humane (I don't know that I'd use that term), but it seems a lot more respectful.

Luckmeister
2011-Sep-22, 08:10 PM
Not in the same league as some of the stories here, but I just had a strange request. I was walking past a man on a park bench who said "Excuse me".

Contrary to my usual urban practice, I stopped, since he didn't look like an obvious beggar or lunatic. He asked me: "How may days are in this month?"

I was sure I misheard, so I begged his pardon.

He said: "How many days in the month?"

I said: "30."

He said: "God bless you."

I have no idea what that was about.

Perhaps he stopped you just long enough for the electronic scanner hidden in a paper bag on the bench to grab the info off the credit card in your wallet.

Sorry, just my distrust and paranoia showing through. :shifty:

Swift
2011-Sep-22, 08:14 PM
When I was going through my EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) training, you had to do several hours of observing at the local ER. I was standing there watching them work a "code" (cardiac arrest) when the doctor said to a nurse (pointing to me) "have the medical student intubate the patient" (insert the airway tube). She pointed out to him I was an EMT student, not a medical student, and wasn't trained in that.

I could probably post pages of weird EMT stories, but in the "asked to do" category, I got a call once from our dispatcher if we would be willing to respond to a call for an injured dog (it wasn't a dispatch, it was "do you want to do someone a favor" request). We happily went. The dog had a piece of glass in its paw, and was a very well behaved patient while we removed it and dressed it (much better than any of the drunks I ever dealt with).

Swift
2011-Sep-22, 08:25 PM
In the nice but weird category, a female friend of mine, many years ago, asked me to be her "man of honor" at her wedding (instead of a maid of honor). I happily said yes, but apparently her mom put a stop to that idea.

My consulation prize was that I was a witness for the signing of the ketubah (a Jewish traditional marriage contract) and was one of the supporters for the chair dance (Hora) - left rear corner for the bride. I also have to tell you future brides that a silk dress on a wooden chair (no seat belts), particularly raised five feet in the air and dancing around, makes for close to a frictionless surface. I had to keep one hand on the bride's backside to keep her from sliding completely off the chair.

Fazor
2011-Sep-22, 08:31 PM
I'm not sure if the two officers (versus the telegram) is more humane (I don't know that I'd use that term), but it seems a lot more respectful.

I think it's better (for the officers, I mean.) I just know if I had to deliver the news, I'd prefer to have someone there with me even if they didn't say/do anything. Just kinda as support.

My grandfather died over Easter brake (12 or so years ago, not recently.) He was supposed to come visit us the day he died. My mother and her sister had gotten tired of waiting for him to show up, so they went out shopping. While they were gone, we got the call that he was found dead that morning. When they returned, the first thing they said coming through the door was "Jeeze, he's not here yet?" Then they saw our faces and knew before we even had to say anything. Even though my dad and my uncle were the ones that had to say it, being there to say "your father is dead" was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about the looks on my mom and aunt's faces.

The men and women who have to deliver that kind of news on a regular basis are much stronger people than myself. But like I said, if I ever had to do it, I'd prefer to have someone else there with me.

icebreaker
2011-Sep-22, 09:12 PM
There was a bookstore across my campuss i visited almost daily between class during my first year of college. It had several computers with software listing books including the location of the shelves. Once after doing my search, a guy asked my help in locating a book he wanted and i helped him. This led to another costumer asking my help too, this time i directed him to the 'official' atendant.

BigDon
2011-Sep-22, 09:50 PM
And you folks were just waiting for me to show up, weren't you?

(Roll the Commander McBragg theme...)

In the military, of course, the weird is the norm.

Stand around in the bomb assembly area of any carrier on any sort of business and somebody will show up in ten minutes and in an angry voice ask you

"Are those your bombs?!" Because your always standing next to a rack of assembled bombs that's in someone else's way, who's trying to move another rack of bombs. (A non-smoking area.)

"No, I'm waiting to get a signiture for this req for some missiles."

Was a senior employee at a huge, well established, tropical fish store. Had a customer buy an enormous multithosand gallon set up to keep big Amazon river fish in. He already had a big set up for electric eels that paid our rent for three months so was on the good customer list.

Electric eels are huge, horrible and ugly and will shock you through the side of the tank if they don't like you. (They didn't like me.)

Before any of you physicists have a hissy I had the palm of my left hand flat to the tank and there was considerable condensate on the glass. I was telling my cohort in crime what ugly creatures these beady eyed monsters were when my vision went to blue and white sparkles as the damn thing tazered my :silenced:.

Anywho, this isn't about those wonders of nature but another one. The amazon red tailed catfish http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redtail_catfish

That article says it all. The guy shells out the bucks for a good sized one, we recieve it and call him and he's on his way to come pick it up a trip of about fortyfive minutes. I turn to see how he's adjusting and note that the dumbass fish has knocked loose and swallowed part of the filtration system and in the middle of it's smooth white belly is an obvious four inch elbow joint. It was even a little underfed to boot so it stood out even more.

Now these were the new owners of the store, not the late owner. They kind of panicked and even though they didn't bring it up, not thinking it was possible, I knew what needed doing. I said that being like most engulfing type predators they have a strong regurgitation reflex and we just wait a few hours.

The stores own "Kitty" would do that once a month just to give us heart attacks before spitting up various plumbing parts, flower pots and ceramic castles you would just swear wouldn't end up in a fish no matter how big, "reflexive" and predatory. (Kitty was a five footer)


My older brother, Big Tom was there visiting because it was cool to hang out there with all the weird wildlife going through and so the two of us drag out this poor fish and I put my hand down its throat, through its cardiac sphincter and into itsstomach where I'm trying to grab a piece of pvc covered in digestive juices.

Did I mention the catfish didn't like this?

Yeah, the fish was all upset. Having some sort of horrble close encounters abduction experience complete with intrusive probing.

I already talked about how the old boss would get drunk off his butt and shoot the place up and I'd patch up all the bullet holes before morning.

Once I had to get hundred pounds of live sand out of a 240 gallon tank with four six foot long thirtyfive pound morays in it. All through the process the morays are getting more and more agitated and it takes me a fricken hour and a half because the only access is through two small openings in the top about eight inchs by two feet, the top of the tank was black acrylic so I can't see the eels while my hand and arms are in the tank AND I can't use a long handled scoop because the tank above it only allowed enough room to clear my fat melon head.

The customer not only complained about how long it took me but complained about my lanquage as well.

My old boss would have laughed and replied, "What did he say something like..." and then say something that would make Danny Divito blush.

My new boss was from a more benign retail enviroment and tried to blow me guff about it in front of the customer until I told him to hand me my coat, I'm done for the day. His partner was eaves dropping on the whole mess, went back to the work area and saw what I had done, the p.o.'ed eels and all and came back and said the customer owned me a tip, not a complaint.

ABR.
2011-Sep-22, 10:33 PM
And you folks were just waiting for me to show up, weren't you?

From the moment the thread was created! You didn't disappoint, either.

Solfe
2011-Sep-22, 10:40 PM
When I worked for the electric company, I had a older woman jump in the back of my car and belt out an address for a small grocery store one block away. I was so surprised and the plaza was on my route so I took her... And waited around for her while reading the meters in the plaza and then drove her home again. When I told her there was no charge and that I was not a taxi, she became (more) confused. She became slightly annoyed with me for pretending to be a taxi. Once I explained how startled I was by her jumping the car she thanked me profusely. I guess we were both having an off day. It was a strange job sometimes.

Buttercup
2011-Sep-22, 11:01 PM
When I worked for the electric company, I had a older woman jump in the back of my car and belt out an address for a small grocery store one block away. I was so surprised and the plaza was on my route so I took her... And waited around for her while reading the meters in the plaza and then drove her home again. When I told her there was no charge and that I was not a taxi, she became (more) confused. She became slightly annoyed with me for pretending to be a taxi. Once I explained how startled I was by her jumping the car she thanked me profusely. I guess we were both having an off day. It was a strange job sometimes.

Omigosh!! Lol!! :D

Well, aren't you a sweet person? :o

I think you win the prize (so far). Wow.

Luckmeister
2011-Sep-22, 11:29 PM
When I worked for the electric company, I had a older woman jump in the back of my car and belt out an address for a small grocery store one block away. I was so surprised and the plaza was on my route so I took her... And waited around for her while reading the meters in the plaza and then drove her home again. When I told her there was no charge and that I was not a taxi, she became (more) confused. She became slightly annoyed with me for pretending to be a taxi. Once I explained how startled I was by her jumping the car she thanked me profusely. I guess we were both having an off day. It was a strange job sometimes.

When she got annoyed with you for not being a taxi, you should've said, "Okay then, that'll be $10.00. Now are you happy?"

DonM435
2011-Sep-23, 12:50 AM
...
They didn't directly say to lie, but it was one of those 'We're not telling you to lie about it, but, ya'know' *WINK!* things. I again politely said "I don't have any disabilities." They had this look of . . . disappointment? Or "Oh my gosh this guy's stupid and not understanding our suggestion!"
...


Beginning one job, I was told that payroill deduction contributions to a charity were entirely elective, voluntary and optional.

Then I was told that the company had 100% compliance re volunteering.

Trebuchet
2011-Sep-23, 03:54 AM
On about my second day of basic training I learned that signing up for US Savings Bonds was entirely voluntary but, as the DI put it, "Everyone in my platoon WILL have a bond".

There was a certain amount of pressure at my last company as well, although without the implied threat of physical violence. My union finally had enough and got a contract provision stating that the company would not pressure employees to participate in bonds or the company's charitable program.

Solfe
2011-Sep-23, 04:49 AM
I was actually asked to do something really reasonable - make sure all 215 computers were working correctly after a complete office furniture replacement. The last time we had outside staff do this, it was a disaster for all involved. Since I was crawling around under desks, in cable closets and peeking up into the ceiling tiles, I wore jeans and t-shirts for weeks instead of business attire. I also handed off my duties job to someone who couldn't realistically do it, so most of the things I normally did were pushed aside or forgotten for a couple of weeks.

The funny bit was they hired a bunch of new people and I didn't get to meet them as I normally would.

One very nice lady that we had hired had a software issue and I fixed it. Then she spilled coffee into the keyboard, so I replaced it. Her chair was bothering her, so I brought her a new one. Then I coached her on taking a particular type of call and then did a quick refresh training for brand new product - both of these last two items were my "real job". As I said she was a very nice lady... she approached my manager's boss in the hall and told him that they need to get me a job in the call center because it would be a waste let me stay a janitor.

While I didn't get a new job in the call center someone did put a dust buster on my desk.

BigDon
2011-Sep-23, 02:55 PM
Not in the same league as some of the stories here, but I just had a strange request. I was walking past a man on a park bench who said "Excuse me".

Contrary to my usual urban practice, I stopped, since he didn't look like an obvious beggar or lunatic. He asked me: "How may days are in this month?"

I was sure I misheard, so I begged his pardon.

He said: "How many days in the month?"

I said: "30."

He said: "God bless you."

I have no idea what that was about.

If he was on a fixed income his checks would arrive on the first of the month. He may have been trying to compare the cash in his pocket with the days left until his next check.

and welcome to BAUT

Stubby Boardman
2011-Sep-23, 03:10 PM
If he was on a fixed income his checks would arrive on the first of the month. He may have been trying to compare the cash in his pocket with the days left until his next check.

and welcome to BAUT


You're right, that would be a sensible explanation. When you're out of work, time can really blur, and your self confidence evaporate, so that you lose faith even in your ability to know simple facts, like the number of days in the month.

And thanks for the welcome, that's very gracious.

BigDon
2011-Sep-23, 03:32 PM
Does "How would you like to..." type questions count?

'Cause some of the "nightclubs" in Singapore back in the '70's had sidewalk barkers that would tout things that would make a group of jaded sailors stop up short and say "Say what!?" Had to check it out just to see if it was real. Not participate mind you, but just to see if it was a scam or lie.

(It was real.)

Trouble is, I can't tell you *what* was real.

starcanuck64
2011-Sep-23, 04:53 PM
FLAT cattle mysteriously dead in a field?! Do you realize you were playing FRISBEE with important EVIDENCE OF ALIEN VISITATiON?!?!?!!






...sorry

I always did wonder about the funny circles in the fields around the dead calves...

Jim
2011-Sep-23, 05:12 PM
... The dog had a piece of glass in its paw, and was a very well behaved patient while we removed it and dressed it (much better than any of the drunks I ever dealt with).

And was probably much more grateful than most of your patients.

starcanuck64
2011-Sep-23, 05:26 PM
That would have made a good episode on the Dirtiest Jobs TV series.

I get nasty flashbacks when I watch that show...

During calf branding fifty calves at a time were herded into a pen where we had to lasso, pick up and drop on their sides calves that in some cases were well on their way to being cows and hold their legs for dear life as the rancher applied the brand to their hindquarters. We got covered in manure(scared calves tend to poop a lot) and I lost count of the times I got kicked in the face when my grip wasn't strong enough to hold the leg of a calf that had just had a brand burned into it's hide. The smell was probably the worst, I still don't like leather products because the smell of burning hair and hide they bring back for me.

On the plus side we did get as much beer as we wanted at the end of the day so on the balance it worked out pretty good.:)

Luckmeister
2011-Sep-23, 05:56 PM
On the plus side we did get as much beer as we wanted at the end of the day so on the balance it worked out pretty good.:)

So you got beer for that while pro baseball players get millions for running around in a field wearing a little leather on one hand. Funny how we value things, huh?

But now that I think about it, I've paid to watch a baseball game but not a calf branding.

starcanuck64
2011-Sep-23, 09:22 PM
So you got beer for that while pro baseball players get millions for running around in a field wearing a little leather on one hand. Funny how we value things, huh?

But now that I think about it, I've paid to watch a baseball game but not a calf branding.

Come to think of it 5 bucks an hour and beer was kind of light for the abuse I went through...

You can go to a rodeo to get a lot of the smell and animal trauma that goes with calf branding, not sure if they still do it but some rodeos used to have demonstration brandings. It's not for the squeamish.

TJMac
2011-Sep-24, 04:16 PM
Oh wow, good thread.

On the subject of livestock.... A lot of people consider reaching in and turning a calf's head around so it can be born, to be just a bit out there, which I have done more than a couple times.

My brother-in-law worked at the local truck stop. He calls in the middle of the night, says, "want to make some quick cash?" A semi-truck hauling kegs of beer had gone into the median of the highway, and flipped on its side. Insurance company paid 4 of us $100 a piece to offload the tipped trailer, and reload onto an upright one. The Highway Patrol sat and watched us, (or guarded us) the whole time. We had no tap anyway.

An engineer, fresh out of school, calls to ask me if he can just use one piece of steel to make an upper and lower die section. Do I have the tools to 'scoop' the material out of the lower section, to make the upper? I resisted telling him I was out of magic dust for my wand.

I worked a weekend job or a while. A woman who I had maybe spoken to twice, asks me if I can follow her home, and then give her a lift to go get her Harley at the shop. Seemed like a reasonable request. I get there, she calls the shop at 8:30 in the morn, they say it won't be done til noon. She says can you wait? (this is stretching a favor, methinks) Then she says, you can use the pool if you want, and offers to loan me swim trunks. While I am waiting for her to find those, her roommate exits the bathroom, nude, says hi, goes into the kitchen and makes a snack, still nude, and then goes to her room. I put on the trunks, and end up spending most of the day poolside, in the sun, with a rather attractive woman, who just needed a lift to get her bike. :cool:

Years ago, my friend calls me from Denver, CO, about 9 hours away, and says, can you come get me? About 12 hrs later I am in Denver watching the Rocky Horror Picture show with him on Halloween night. 12 hrs after that, we are back home.

TJ

Buttercup
2011-Sep-24, 04:32 PM
My brother-in-law worked at the local truck stop. He calls in the middle of the night, says, "want to make some quick cash?" A semi-truck hauling kegs of beer had gone into the median of the highway, and flipped on its side. Insurance company paid 4 of us $100 a piece to offload the tipped trailer, and reload onto an upright one. The Highway Patrol sat and watched us, (or guarded us) the whole time. We had no tap anyway.


Oh wow.


I worked a weekend job or a while. A woman who I had maybe spoken to twice, asks me if I can follow her home, and then give her a lift to go get her Harley at the shop. Seemed like a reasonable request. I get there, she calls the shop at 8:30 in the morn, they say it won't be done til noon. She says can you wait? (this is stretching a favor, methinks) Then she says, you can use the pool if you want, and offers to loan me swim trunks. While I am waiting for her to find those, her roommate exits the bathroom, nude, says hi, goes into the kitchen and makes a snack, still nude, and then goes to her room. I put on the trunks, and end up spending most of the day poolside, in the sun, with a rather attractive woman, who just needed a lift to get her bike. :cool:

:lol:

swampyankee
2011-Sep-24, 06:56 PM
Oh wow, good thread.

On the subject of livestock.... A lot of people consider reaching in and turning a calf's head around so it can be born, to be just a bit out there, which I have done more than a couple times.

My brother-in-law worked at the local truck stop. He calls in the middle of the night, says, "want to make some quick cash?" A semi-truck hauling kegs of beer had gone into the median of the highway, and flipped on its side. Insurance company paid 4 of us $100 a piece to offload the tipped trailer, and reload onto an upright one. The Highway Patrol sat and watched us, (or guarded us) the whole time. We had no tap anyway.

An engineer, fresh out of school, calls to ask me if he can just use one piece of steel to make an upper and lower die section. Do I have the tools to 'scoop' the material out of the lower section, to make the upper? I resisted telling him I was out of magic dust for my wand.

I worked a weekend job or a while. A woman who I had maybe spoken to twice, asks me if I can follow her home, and then give her a lift to go get her Harley at the shop. Seemed like a reasonable request. I get there, she calls the shop at 8:30 in the morn, they say it won't be done til noon. She says can you wait? (this is stretching a favor, methinks) Then she says, you can use the pool if you want, and offers to loan me swim trunks. While I am waiting for her to find those, her roommate exits the bathroom, nude, says hi, goes into the kitchen and makes a snack, still nude, and then goes to her room. I put on the trunks, and end up spending most of the day poolside, in the sun, with a rather attractive woman, who just needed a lift to get her bike. :cool:

Years ago, my friend calls me from Denver, CO, about 9 hours away, and says, can you come get me? About 12 hrs later I am in Denver watching the Rocky Horror Picture show with him on Halloween night. 12 hrs after that, we are back home.

TJ

Why did these things never happen to me when I was single? They don't now, either.

BigDon
2011-Sep-24, 10:11 PM
Why did these things never happen to me when I was single? They don't now, either.

Well, as somebody who was pursued by the Shore Patrol across NAS Miramar while holding his clothes in his hand, doing a mighty high-step and occasional Heisman Trophy stiff-arm, on at least three different occasions, I can say it's now it's not all it's cracked up to be.

My favorite line from those encounters was when I made it to my own squadron's barracks, (Two "L" shaped three story buildings linked to form a courtyard) and it was so hot at least two hundred people were on all the balconies at 11 pm and the SP's stood in the middle of the courtyard and yelled, "So you're telling me not one of you 200 (bleepity bleeps) saw the naked guy run through here?"

and one of the engine mechs, who didn't like to be called a bleepity bleep yelled back:

"That's right, and you'ld best be on your way! 211! (spoken as "two-eleven" our squadron number)

And when *everybody* replied back with "WHAT!" the Shore Patrol guys realized this was a single unit and not some transient barracks with a bunch of strangers living together on a temporary basis.

They left before the beer bottles started falling.

Of course I got dressed when they were talking and I walked out with them. The guys who saw me do that thought it was funny as hell.

A unique and wonderful experience, being part of an genuine elite outfit.

Solfe
2011-Sep-24, 11:51 PM
Here is a link to post from early this year (http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php/117284-More-true-life-comedy!?highlight=the+best+paper+airplane).

Overview - One of my son's friends (age 9) rode a scooter to our house at 6:30 in the morning to ask me to make a paper airplane for him.