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banquo's_bumble_puppy
2004-Jul-06, 04:43 PM
Do you, or would you feel more complete with a life partner? ie. husband/wife ? or...?

wedgebert
2004-Jul-06, 04:56 PM
I think I would feel more complete. But being a 26 year old computer geek with no real social skills, I'm having a hard time finding out.

R.A.F.
2004-Jul-06, 06:32 PM
Not only do I feel "complete", I feel positively super human!

I know it's an old "cliche", but my Wife makes me a better person just by my knowing her. (if that makes sense) I value her opinion above all others...and besides, she's a great smoocher! :lol:

pumpkinpie
2004-Jul-06, 08:09 PM
I voted for yes I do/would, and I'm in the would camp. Just about every aspect of my life is as good as or better than I could have hoped. I'm healthy. I have a lot of good friends. Lots of fun hobbies. Wonderful family support, and the family's gotten even better this year as I watch my 11 month old niece grow up. And I have something a lot of people don't--I LOVE my job. I can't imagine anyone having more fun than I do!

So that leaves just one area to work on--finding someone with whom I can share it all! And I'm just recently learning that the process of finding "the one" is pretty fun too! Not to mention exasperating.... :lol:

Gullible Jones
2004-Jul-06, 08:12 PM
Being unmarried and of only 15 years, I have no idea. Though, judging from the revulsion girls show when within 10 feet of me, I daresay it doesn't matter... :wink:

Ut
2004-Jul-06, 08:14 PM
I quite literally met the girl of my dreams; it was the single best thing to ever happen to me. Just having had her in my life has made me more and more the person I want to be. Alas, my search doesn't end here. I just couldn't, and can't, do the same for her. It's true what they say, though: It is better to have loved and lost...

Cylinder
2004-Jul-06, 08:22 PM
Being unmarried and of only 15 years, I have no idea. Though, judging from the revulsion girls show when within 10 feet of me, I daresay it doesn't matter... :wink:

"This too shall pass."

Cylinder
2004-Jul-06, 08:27 PM
Complete, yes. I live on the complete opposite side of the town (from my ex, that is.) :lol:

Gullible Jones
2004-Jul-06, 08:34 PM
"This too shall pass."

If you're talking about my oversized nose, elephant ears, and skeletal appearance, no, I don't think so. ;)

Cylinder
2004-Jul-06, 08:41 PM
If you're talking about my oversized nose, elephant ears, and skeletal appearance, no, I don't think so. ;)

Every morning you're gonna look in a mirror and repeat 10 times:

I am a stud...
I am a stud...
I am a stud...

Gullible Jones
2004-Jul-06, 08:46 PM
Somehow, I cannot see myself as anything more than a common nerd. :)

ToSeek
2004-Jul-06, 08:47 PM
Hey, I'm a nerd by any reckoning, and I've been married for over 20 years. There is hope!

Cylinder
2004-Jul-06, 08:55 PM
You're as sharp as a tack, my friend. A little confidence smooths out alot of wrinkles. But on the other hand - you're 15 and not supposed to be gettin' any action. :)

Lycus
2004-Jul-06, 09:45 PM
All alone... :-({|=

Gullible Jones
2004-Jul-06, 10:39 PM
Hey Cylinder, I'd hardly consider kissing dangerous. Well, unless it's done when you should be paying attention to something else, or the person you're kissing has oral herpes...

Cylinder
2004-Jul-06, 10:56 PM
Kissing....dangerous?? Only if both of you have braces! *groan*

Jpax2003
2004-Jul-06, 11:25 PM
Being unmarried and of only 15 years, I have no idea. Though, judging from the revulsion girls show when within 10 feet of me, I daresay it doesn't matter... :wink:

"This too shall pass."No Cylinder, not always.

MrObvious
2004-Jul-07, 01:55 AM
Do you, or would you feel more complete with a life partner? ie. husband/wife ? or...?

Sadly, just the opposite.
I like to think, I like to work, I have little time for much else. I choose to make myself "un-available" because I've learned from previous experience.

I've lost many good opportunities to do things I really wanted because my partner was either concearned about the risks or needed support or hit me with the guilt trip "we don't spent quality time together".

I have no time or patience for the mind games that many relationships seem to go through and I don't have enough inclination to devote the time to try and meet one who "may not" play those games.

Every relationship I've been in has made me feel torn. Torn between what I want to do and what I feel I should do. I now choose to be single and (drum roll) salibate. While this may not be a surprise to anyone here, it was a hell of a shock for most people that know me.

All those guy's that feel they are geeks and can't get someone interested in them, a word of advice:

Go on doing what you are doing, you have a golden opportunity to achieve your goals without hindance. Once you have acheived your goal move on to the next one and so on. If/when the time comes and you want to pursue a relationship then pursue it, just remember it will leave little time for yourself and don't expect the first one to last, or the second. It's all about learning, what you like and what you don't like; what they like and what they don't like.

If like me you find yourself to be the one who wants to end the relationship, do it respectfully and honestly. If possible try to salvage the friendship. Most of my ex's I'm still very close with, after all they know me intimately. Heck, most have met, two are sharing a house together! Dinner at their place is always fun :D

Regards,

paulie jay
2004-Jul-07, 07:07 AM
I've been married but as it turned out she wasn't my life partner. My current partner is definitely a "kindred spirit" but to be perfectly honest, I already felt complete before we met. I suppose that even in partnership I'm a bit of a loner. :)

gethen
2004-Jul-07, 01:31 PM
Since I've spent more of my life married than I did single, I really can't remember what single feels like, so I have to vote yes. But I should also add that my spouse and I have wildly different interests and abilities so there's always something new to argue about. :wink: Never a dull moment.

beskeptical
2004-Jul-07, 06:27 PM
I very much enjoyed having a partner, (had two). And I miss not having a best friend. But, I am certainly a happy camper all by myself.

I knew a long time ago that I might end up alone because I wasn't interested in a long term relationship at the time when everyone else was. But I was sooo enjoying traveling and experiencing life. And that is still the case.

I had a good partner for a few years. We traveled all over both near and far. We had a lot in common. But when we lived in a house, he literally did nothing in the way of chores. And, I mean nothing, inside nor out. We both worked full time. On the road, we shared all chores, especially when we were backpacking, but not in a house. Looking back, maybe we should have just hired a maid and gardener but I wasn't that sophisticated of a thinker. Instead, I just couldn't take it anymore so I left him.

My second partner was someone I was in love with as well but we had less in common. He also wasn't a good communicator. So when birth control failed and I got pregnant, to my utter shock, he walked out. I did not see it coming at all. We had been together many years.

After that experience, I decided being single was just fine, thank you. If someone comes along that I have a lot in common with and is interested, I don't think I'd ignore him. But when you have been single for many years, haven't really dated during that time, are happy, and there isn't any room in the closet....well life can still be pretty good. http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/love/love12.gif

tuffel999
2004-Jul-13, 04:17 AM
This is funny because this isn't a subject I would normally share on but for some reason tonight I think I will. Before I dated one girl I never thought that I would feel more complete with a partner. Then I meet this one girl and that changed. Ironically me fiancee' is not that girl but I feel closer to her than I did the other girl. Everyone we know laughs at us(in a good way) because we never show up alone and it isn't a being dragged thing we just never can seem to want to do anything without sharing it. Been like that for 4 years now.

Morrolan
2004-Jul-13, 09:30 AM
what can i say... met my fiancee last year in March and we're getting married next September... \:D/

ToSeek
2004-Jul-13, 01:47 PM
what can i say... met my fiancee last year in March and we're getting married next September... \:D/

Congratulations! All the best to the both of you!

Tranquility
2004-Jul-13, 04:27 PM
Being 18 I wouldn't know, but I dont feel the need to have a life-long partner. Maybe I should give it a while but right now I dont think so. Like Mr. Obvious, I like the free time I have. I like doing what I went best. I like spending a lot of time with friends, playing football, reading, computer games, college stuff - basically just doing my thing. Besides, I dont feel comfortable with intimacy - I feel I have too many flaws to want to share them with someone. Heck, I don't even like sharing them with family members, so that's another pitfall I see myself crashing into.

Morrolan
2004-Jul-14, 01:41 AM
what can i say... met my fiancee last year in March and we're getting married next September... \:D/

Congratulations! All the best to the both of you!

thank you... :)

Tranquility: at 18 you're not supposed to want for a life long partner yet. i know i didn't... but things change at some point, i guess.

Kebsis
2004-Jul-14, 04:18 AM
I have as many life partners as I can get my hands on and I feel great.

Tranquility
2004-Jul-14, 03:55 PM
Tranquility: at 18 you're not supposed to want for a life long partner yet. i know i didn't... but things change at some point, i guess.

True, except its not that I reject the concept, just its consequences :D .

And Congrats BTW :wink:

MrObvious
2004-Jul-15, 01:35 AM
Hey Tranquility, you seem honest enough to admit you have faults, just remember that everybody else has them too so it's not as big a deal sharing them from that perspective. It's something that comes with time.

You're only 18, go and experience life first before making a commitment. I tend to look at it this way, at 18 most people have just reached the age where they are no longer bound by their parents. Making a commitment to someone else at this point will ensure you never know the feeling of freedom from ties. Understand that first then decide what you want to do.

Just remember, the longer you spend single, the harder it will be to keep a relationship if you truely decide that is what you want. Till then go and enjoy!

Regards,

Morrolan
2004-Jul-15, 02:10 AM
True, except its not that I reject the concept, just its consequences :D .

that too, will pass... :P


And Congrats BTW :wink:

thank you... :)

johnb
2004-Jul-15, 02:20 AM
I am in my mid forties. Her, INDOORS, is down in London; for a seminar.
I miss her no matter how short her time away. We`ve been together for 28 years now(married in 1979).No-one can tell me that being together without marriage is enough. Marriage brought us so closer together. Just being partners is; just being partners. Partners is, in my view, a conjuction of convenience; two people who , at that time, happen to agree. Marriage asks a higher degree of commitment, with a longer timescale to that commitment.

ZaphodBeeblebrox
2004-Jul-15, 08:43 PM
I am in my mid forties. Her, INDOORS, is down in London; for a seminar.
I miss her no matter how short her time away. We`ve been together for 28 years now(married in 1979).No-one can tell me that being together without marriage is enough. Marriage brought us so closer together. Just being partners is; just being partners. Partners is, in my view, a conjuction of convenience; two people who , at that time, happen to agree. Marriage asks a higher degree of commitment, with a longer timescale to that commitment.

Yeah, my Girlfriend and I rushed into an Engagement, because we got caught up in the Moment.

We're takin' it Slower Now, really getting to know each other, again.

Besides, 2 Years or 2 Months to Wait, it won't matter in the Long Term ...

FP
2004-Jul-16, 04:13 AM
Congrats, Morro...

and G99/Humphrey and Mrs. Humphrey,

I and my much better half had known each other for 3 months before we got engaged, and were married six months later. (It would have been sooner, but our school schedules interfered.)

So far, 23 years and two months.

I can't imagine life without Mrs. FP -- we've been married almost half of my life.

Go for it -- there are ups and downs, but love conquers all!

Candy
2004-Jul-16, 04:41 AM
To Tranquility and Gullible Jones, I remember having the same feelings. Time works in mysterious ways, though. 8-[

I finally met someone that I am seriously considering including as a part of my real life. It only took me 37 years! :o I think differently from most, so everything in my life must be preplanned, planned, and post planned.

I like this guy, because he reminds me of a young naÔve person. He is Hindu, so itís like meeting someone with a fresh concept on life from mine. No games! We have just pure honest to goodness conversation, attraction, and mutual respect. What more could I ask for? :D

FP
2004-Jul-16, 04:59 AM
Candy, you can't ask for more.

Just remember, as John Lennon said,

"life is what happens while we're busy making other plans."

I never planned to get married in Med School -- I knew that it would be too hard for me to concentrate.

I got married just before my senior year.

Oh, well. We've made it so far. 8)

Candy
2004-Jul-16, 05:16 AM
I never planned to get married in Med School -- I knew that it would be too hard for me to concentrate.

I got married just before my senior year.

Oh, well. We've made it so far. 8) Same here, I am so busy with full-time work and full-time school (** then MA), that what am I thinking? I just have a huge soft spot for the man. Scares me. :o We've known each other for months, but I was too dense to notice that he liked me.

It took him a while to get me to notice him in that way. It was like he knew, but I didn't. Does that make sense? We've only had one date. Our next is this Saturday. :D Wish me luck, I think.

Archer17
2004-Jul-16, 06:02 AM
I voted "yes." I don't even deserve someone like my wife. She's beautiful, sexy, likes to be spontaneous and keeps me on my toes. She puts up with my imperfections and brushes off my Irish temper with her own European charm. She likes me! It's hard to fault someone that does that, ya know? :wink: I can't experience anything unique and cool and consider it complete without Lynn being there to share it with. She's put up with my astronomical whims, bought me decent binocs, spotted a comet before I did (no excuse ..'Ms eagle-eyes' smoked me! :oops: ) and got the same same thrill I did seeing a very rare Pittsburgh aurora last Oct. It might sound corny to those that haven't met their "match," but I have. Lynn is the ying to my yang (or visa versa) and my life wouldn't be complete without her. My advice to those that haven't found their "soul-mates" .. let it happen, don't force it. I met my future wife prior to a "scheduled" brawl with a rival neighborhood (last thing on my mind that night was romance)..who would've thunk it? Needless to say, I missed the fight .. and haven't looked back since.

milli360
2004-Jul-16, 06:29 AM
luck, I think. :)

MrObvious
2004-Jul-16, 07:30 AM
Candy wrote

Wish me luck, I think.


milli360 wrote


luck, I think.


Archer17 wrote

luck re:me?

no, I think :D

Dgennero
2004-Jul-16, 08:16 AM
No mate, that is, no commitment for me, and I don't feel incomplete.
"I don't maybe vant to be alone, but some eendeependence I like wery much, sank you wery matsch..." :P
Or, in simple words: No.
When I decide to go stargazing at 4am e.g., I need no woman or man scream and holler from my bedroom "what are you DOING that late???" Now of course, if I'd find a "mate" who is in accordance with me, okay, but that seems unlikely to me.

johnb
2004-Jul-16, 09:25 AM
Dgennero;
In a good relationship you can be independent as well as together. If I want to stargaze at 4 am I do. I just make sure when I go to bed that I dont stick my freezing cold feet in her back when I get in the bed.

pumpkinpie
2004-Jul-16, 02:11 PM
I and my much better half had known each other for 3 months before we got engaged, and were married six months later. (It would have been sooner, but our school schedules interfered.)

So far, 23 years and two months.



FP, my parents were on a similar timetable......they married about 6 months after their first date. I don't know exactly when they got engaged, but my dad said he knew he wanted to marry her right away. Didn't take too much convincing! They were 23 (him) and 26 (her) and they have been married now for almost 35 years. It's amazing how fast it can happen sometimes! I know not to compare my relationships to theirs, or anyone else's, or to expect certain things to happen by certain times. Each relationship has to develop at its own pace! I just hope I eventually find the person I want to marry, and I don't care how long it takes!

Candy, I'm going on my second date this weekend too with an exciting new prospect. So, luck to both of us! :D

ZaphodBeeblebrox
2004-Jul-16, 07:19 PM
I never planned to get married in Med School -- I knew that it would be too hard for me to concentrate.

I got married just before my senior year.

Oh, well. We've made it so far. 8) Same here, I am so busy with full-time work and full-time school (** then MA), that what am I thinking? I just have a huge soft spot for the man. Scares me. :o We've known each other for months, but I was too dense to notice that he liked me.

It took him a while to get me to notice him in that way. It was like he knew, but I didn't. Does that make sense? We've only had one date. Our next is this Saturday. :D Wish me luck, I think.

Congrats

Just Remember, "The Path of True Love Never Does Run Smooth," but stick with it, and you'll do fine, ok?

Dgennero
2004-Jul-16, 10:34 PM
@johnb: While I don't exclude finding at loeast a "perfect" soulmate, at least I do not feel incomplete.
I am a "thinker" type, and a content loner; a spouse would have to be also a thinker type, and I have only met one in my life that would have been what I like, but we went seperate ways and lost contact before anything serious could develop.

Kiwi
2004-Jul-17, 05:00 AM
I like this guy... What more could I ask for?

Awww, gee, Candy! Do I detect a sparkle in the eye, a lightness of the step, a slight smile, a tinge of anticipation and an occasional faraway look coming down the phone lines from half-way around the world and showing up on my computer screen? Or am I just being ridiculous? :) Good to hear though. I got the impression that he's someone you must be scrupulously honest with, and that that's a good thing. (It would be for me -- can't stand dishonesty, not even little white-lie compliments.)

I'm going on my second date this weekend too with an exciting new prospect...

Lucky thing. I'm single haven't had that for about ten years. :(

In a good relationship you can be independent as well as together.

My thoughts, exactly. I used to say, "The more it can be 'Us' the better, but it should also be 'Me' and 'Her' at times too." There's nothing wrong with each having interests, hobbies, tastes and friends that don't appeal to the other, as long as there's balance, goodwill and co-operation. It's great to be able to share with someone we love and spend a lot of time together, but we should also be able to operate independently, not needing our partner so much that it's devastating to not have him or her around.

To get back on topic, yes, I definitely feel only half alive without a good partner and have on about four occasions really felt "complete" with that "other half of me," and it's a mind-blowing, wonderful feeling. But I'm more of a Snag and a romantic than a macho man and, like the preference Candy expressed elsewhere, I very much need a partner who has brains.

On the other hand, though, having no relationship is far, far better than having a bad one!

Candy
2004-Jul-17, 12:00 PM
You guys are good with your analyses for relationships. :D

Well, let's see, 15 hours to go! I have butterflies already. Now I know what Milli feels like when he gets a PM from me. :wink:

Good luck, pumpkinpie!

pumpkinpie
2004-Jul-18, 01:07 AM
Good luck, pumpkinpie!

Thanks, Candy! It went very well, and I can't wait to see him again! :D
I'm thinking of you now, I'm assuming you're on your date. Hope you have as good of a time as I did!

Candy
2004-Jul-18, 04:08 PM
We had a great time. It's almost like the Forbidden Love. We are culturally from two different world's. He's breaking all the rules just to be with me. For some reason, I find this very romantic. I also feel a sense of guilt. :-?

ritko1
2004-Jul-23, 06:30 AM
I voted yes. My husband makes my life much happier then it would be otherwise. He has a great sense of humor and makes me laugh everyday. He sooths me when I'm sad, and compliments me daily.

We just had the happy addition of twin baby girls. They are nine months old and he has risen to the occasion. Of course I knew he would, he was that sort of man before the babies came along so no reason to suddenly change when they get here. He has matched me diaper for diaper. Bottle for bottle. He rocks, holds and sooths crying babies. He gets up in the middle of the night and early most weekend to take care of babies so I can sleep in. There is nothing sexier than a man changing 2 or 3 poopy diapers in a day. UHMM, UHMM MMM, MMMM..... And believe me, with two babies, there are plenty of poopy diapers to go around. Yup, he is a keeper.

Thanks for the thread, I feel warm and fuzzy now and need to go smooch on the hubby. Have a good night all.

ritko1
2004-Jul-23, 06:52 AM
"This too shall pass."

If you're talking about my oversized nose, elephant ears, and skeletal appearance, no, I don't think so. ;)

Gullible, your 15 years old. Have you looked around at the other teenage boys you know. They all have large noses, ears and skeletal bodies. That's part of being a teenager. In fact there is a term for it. They call it, "the gawky teenage years." I'm probably not helping much here, but it's certainly not something thatís going to stay forever. Now I've never seen your nose, ears or body but I suspect your analysis is exaggerated in proportion to your outlook on yourself. This too will improve as you get older. Besides, you have all the time in the world to worry about finding a soul mate, or any girl for that matter. It's not like you over the hill or anything. Quit worrying about it. As another poster said, "This too shall pass"

I speak from experience as I have older children too (from a previous marriage) besides the two infants I mentioned in a previous thread. Of course my 13yr old daughter (I know 13 is a world of difference from 15 but none the less) thinks I know nothing, but I beg to differ with her. Quit worrying about, just hang with your buddies and pursue your astronomy interests. I daresay, being a previous lurker, you know a lot more about astronomy than I do. Everything else will work out as it should.

The mother in me wants to say pursue your school work too but I will refrain :D and now I will step down from my box.... [-(

Brady Yoon
2004-Jul-23, 10:41 PM
I voted yes, but obviously I don't know yet. :)

jrkeller
2004-Jul-23, 11:19 PM
I vote for all four. I'd liked being married a lot, but once I got divorced, I liked being single. It probably goes without saying that about the first year after my divorce sucked, but now I'm fine.

Gullible,

I used to be in your boat too. I was shy, nerdy, not very athelic, very skinny, and born at the end of year. In other words, when I turned 17 in my senior year in high school, most people started to turn 18. It was extremely hard asking that first girl out, but I eventually did it. By the time I entered by early twenties, it wasn't hard getting a date. If you can believe it, I started doing the things my parents told me to do, like getting a hair cut, daily showering, daily shaving, dressing nice (I'm not talking about expensive clothes, but matching clothes), looking at people when they talk, etc. I also started teaching lab classes and tutoring, and that got me over my shyness. I also found a sport or two that I was good at, like running and volleyball. That gave me a lot more coordination and a better build. I would say that by the time, I was 25, I had some one really great dates and a couple really good girlfriends.

I got married shortly after I turned 32. My ex-wife is smart, witty, and probably one of the best looking women you'll ever see. (This is the women who at 35 and four kids still wins bikini contests when she competes with 18-20 years old). Our big problem was that we just could not live together and our 7 year age difference. She was just too imature and if she were here right now, she would tell you the same thing. Back tracking to the poll question, I see her about two hours every day, so I guess that's why I like being single.

One last thing to add, when I've gone back to my high school reunions, I find that the in-crowd folks are now the out-crowd folks. Most of my friends have great spouses and families and have done really well in their careers (doctors, engineers, lawyers, a couple of college professor, one ran for congress, one is a superstar in a famous rock band and one would have probably been an astronaut, but I've got one relatively bad eye (20/200)). I've come to find out that women like men who actually amount to something and looks don't matter that much. What women wants to support a lazy man.


Let me summarize here,

Listen to your parents, they really do have some good advice. There are probably not as old and out of touch as you might think.

Get some good grooming habits.

Take some sort of public speaking classes.

Exercise

jrkeller
2004-Jul-23, 11:22 PM
Good God do I sound like my parents.

Yikes

Iris
2004-Jul-23, 11:26 PM
The best achievement, and what I call the crowning of your lifetime, is to have children. And to have a children and raise them properly, you need a mate. (Marriage isn't important in my opinion, but that's decided by your own beliefs. :P)

Your life will just not be complete without a boyfriend and children.

Candy
2004-Jul-25, 02:08 AM
That was nice ritko1!

ritko1
2004-Jul-25, 07:24 AM
Thank You Candy. I hope all works out with your new squeeze.

jest
2004-Jul-25, 09:11 AM
step one would be getting a gf, which I don't have, and likely won't have for quite a while seeing as apparently I don't fit a lot of "criteria" necessary to be a good bf.. lol

CL8
2004-Jul-27, 04:59 PM
If i had a choice between spending tons of time seeking a life partner and building one with a remote controll well i go with the remote controll one lol. Ever seen those mice with chips on there necks. and with gene doping you gcould have a homeostatios biological robot.

Candy
2004-Jul-30, 02:29 AM
Well, the romance didn't last long. The relationship was severely interferring with my school work (with the constant phone calls and lengthy conversations). As soon as I was 2 days behind in my school work, well, the end was soon near. Don't worry, I let him down easy.

I plan to stay on track with my goals. There is always time for romance.

2004-Jul-30, 03:12 PM
Well, the romance didn't last long. The relationship was severely interferring with my school work (with the constant phone calls and lengthy conversations). As soon as I was 2 days behind in my school work, well, the end was soon near. Don't worry, I let him down easy.

I plan to stay on track with my goals. There is always time for romance.
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Candy
2004-Jul-30, 08:57 PM
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Since the 'end', I was able to concentrate and complete 4 - 1 page journals discussing technology's effects on society (articles that raise ethical or moral questions about the development or application of technology) <- too much research! Read 6 chapters for two classes, writing and taking notes for 5 of those. BTW, humanities is so boring, unrealistic, and very one sided (not the side I agree with). I was able to take an online, consisting of 10 tricky questions, quiz. Now, I am ready for class tonight and tomorrow morning. :D Then it starts all over again for next week. It's a good thing I work full-time, too. :o

gzhpcu
2004-Jul-30, 11:47 PM
Just a little factoid:

Greta Gabro complained that she was misquoted. She never said "I vant to be alone" but rather "I vant to be left alone" (referring to the press...) :D

Whirlpool
2007-Oct-16, 11:44 AM
Just browsing and saw this thread and got interested to resurrect it. :p


I'm not sure if the feeling complete is a right word for me.

Because having a relationship with someone with whom you decide/chosen to live with for the rest of your life isn't about completing each other. Because if one fails one way or the other it will only give frustrations.

It's for me , complimenting each other strengths and weaknesses. Accepting each others differences and working their way out in how to compliment each other.

It's like waking up every day and actively chooses to love your partner whether they are in good mood or waking up grumpy.

Its when you had a disagreement and your partner gets on your nerves and vise versa but it doesn't mean that you don't love ur partner anymore with every part of his being.

It's loving someone EVEN when , at the moment , you don't like them very much .

--
I don't have a life partner yet , but I feel complete even if I'm alone , I have a son who truly loves me.

And if I get to that point of having a life partner..that is the choice that I will keep.
;)

Click Ticker
2007-Oct-16, 01:11 PM
I've been married for a while. Hard to feel complete when your spouse doesn't like you very much though.

Tucson_Tim
2007-Oct-16, 02:52 PM
I feel like the life is being sucked out of me by a giant leech.











(Just kidding). We love each other and hate everyone else. Is that healthy?

Paracelsus
2007-Oct-16, 04:27 PM
It's great having my hubby around, don't get me wrong, but he doesn't make my life. I should hope that I was a complete person when he met me. Becoming part of a couple did not entail being surgically joined. He and I are very different, really, but that difference adds spice to the marriage.

Fazor
2007-Oct-16, 04:36 PM
Yeah, I voted for "I don't need someone else to feel complete". But that doesn't mean my sig. other isn't important to me, just that she's not what makes me who I am. (More like, she's one of the few people that will put up with me)

[Disclaimer: this part is personal opinion, I won't feel bad if you disagree] It's easy, particularly when you're unhappy, to put the blame on someone else. I.E., say, "If only I had someone, then I'd be happy." But that generally isn't true. Now, that's not to say that you can't find someone who helps you fix whatever you're not happy with about yourself. Support is good. But happiness really comes down to yourself. </DrPhilMode>

Neverfly
2007-Oct-16, 04:42 PM
I believe it takes two complete people to make a relationship.
If you feel the other person "completes" you, it may be that you are not recognizing who they really are, but rather the image you have painted of them.

laurele
2007-Oct-16, 05:02 PM
The best achievement, and what I call the crowning of your lifetime, is to have children. And to have a children and raise them properly, you need a mate. (Marriage isn't important in my opinion, but that's decided by your own beliefs. :P)

Your life will just not be complete without a boyfriend and children.

This may be true for some people, but not for all.

I am a freedom nut and can't imagine having to answer to anyone for how I spend my time. My life is complete with many different interests and a lot of friends and family. I'm 42 and in the words of Rhett Butler, "not the marrying kind." In fact, I often joke with friends, some of whom are constrained by obligations regarding spouses, children, etc., that I wouldn't marry if someone offered me a million dollars. It's not completely a joke either.

chrissy
2007-Oct-16, 05:13 PM
i totally agree neverfly i was married and thought he was my completion i think rose colour glasses were glued to my face but it took a lot of time and a hell of a lot of guts to remove the glasses to see him in his true form, i was devistated and broken for a long time, i think that the word was blinded by him and couldnt hear what was told to me. i have two children that love me for me , my faults included. this is who i live for . yes i would like someone to share my life talk to when i have a problem some one to hold on to when im sad some one to share laughter with besides my children we all want some one in our own secret way, but also want our own space to have our quiet time to.

Neverfly
2007-Oct-16, 05:41 PM
A lot of people think about what they want.
They don't think about the trials, the struggles and the sacrifice.

They make a list of wants and then sit back expecting some other person to deliver these wants.
Instant Gratification.

It is not the act of being completed or completing another that makes the relationship work, but rather in being complete. In not needing. Not needing to have wants fulfilled or in having 'lonliness' lifted. At those points are you working together with someone? Or using them?

Life is a road that is rocky and rough. No matter how we walk it, there will always be sharp stones underfoot and obstacles, there will be flooded out portions and bridges washed out so you have to take the long way around.

Teamwork helps to overcome these obstacles. But to efficiently work as a team, you must already be complete. Already know that you can do it. Already rely on yourself-so others can rely on you- trust enough to rely on them because they know they can rely on themselves.

And the road waits to be walked...

The desitination... Is probably too far to reach in our lifgetimes. But it's the journey that counts anyway.

If I got home too quickly, I would be sitting around bored:p

Fazor
2007-Oct-16, 05:44 PM
If I got home to quickly, I would be sitting around bored
I'd be playin as much WoW as I can get in before my better half gets home from her job. ;) Oh, and I might try to squeeze a beer or two in there aswell. But that's just me.

CodeSlinger
2007-Oct-16, 05:44 PM
I also agree with Neverfly, that it takes two complete people to make a relationship. The advice I've always given to friends who recently broke up with a partner is not try to rush into another relationship in an attempt to fill the void. Instead, take the time to get comfortable with one's self, to become a complete person on their own.

On the other hand, I do feel that my life is richer and fuller with my fiancee in it than without her. I guess it's something like this. It does take two complete people to make a relationship, and once the right two people are joined, they create a pattern that is richer and fuller than what they can be individually.

Tucson_Tim
2007-Oct-16, 05:46 PM
If I got home to quickly, I would be sitting around bored
I'd be playin as much WoW as I can get in before my better half gets home from her job. ;) Oh, and I might try to squeeze a beer or two in there aswell. But that's just me.

Or add to your head collection in the freezer.

Moose
2007-Oct-16, 05:56 PM
Bilbo: Why no! [darkens and hisses]And yes.

Am I more complete with an SO? No, I'm really not. I'd like to feel so, I may indeed feel so at the time, and the feeling may even have some small kernel of justification. But I've learned that the feeling and the reality don't have to be on speaking terms, let alone in agreement. And that's a lesson that came with more than a few emotional bruises. (Thanks, OCD.)

That said, I've had good relationships, and I've had not-so-good relationships:

The good ones were very good. The feeling I got was closer to gestalt (result is greater than the sum of the parts) than of completeness.

The bad ones, well, I'll only say that in the future, I'll need to keep my head about me better than I've managed to do so far. Unfortunately for me, I worry sometimes that the hurt I took may end up poisoning any future attempts. If I protect myself from potential hurt/deception, I may not invest myself fully into the relationship, dooming it. I'm not sure how to balance that.

Fazor
2007-Oct-16, 05:59 PM
Or add to your head collection in the freezer.

That was Doodler, I keep mine in large mayonase jars burried out back. :whistle:

Tucson_Tim
2007-Oct-16, 06:03 PM
That was Doodler, I keep mine in large mayonase jars burried out back. :whistle:

I display them on the fireplace mantel.

ETA: To answer the original poster, every good man needs a ball-and-chain.

Neverfly
2007-Oct-16, 06:11 PM
I display them on the fireplace mantel.

ETA: To answer the original poster, every good man needs a ball-and-chain.

I know for a fact that I require management.:p

Codeslinger made an excellent point in his post as well. Albeit the two parties are complete, they enhance eachothers lives and make it more fulfilling.

Tucson_Tim
2007-Oct-16, 06:13 PM
Albeit the two parties are complete, they enhance each others lives and make it more fulfilling.

Hallmark #1463.

Fazor
2007-Oct-16, 06:17 PM
Albeit the two parties are complete, they enhance eachothers lives and make it more fulfilling.

"You're the Biggie Fry to my Big-Mac!"
edit: Of course, lets just hope she doesn't find out about that tall, cool drink known as "Extra Jumbo Super Gulp Cherry Cola" :whistle:

The_Radiation_Specialist
2007-Oct-16, 06:17 PM
So, what is this "women" that you speak of?

Neverfly
2007-Oct-16, 06:21 PM
So, what is this "women" that you speak of?

Don't get me started...:p