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grapes
2012-Jun-20, 11:19 AM
If you just have to make a joke, but fear that it would be disruptive to the original thread, you can post it here. Make sure to include enough context, or, if you have to, explanation.

The toes are of the ideal dimensions for brown recluse (or, any other "favorite" tiny aggressor) nests. The fingers of gloves are too long/floppy or not as accessible. Same reason that they are so often found at the bottom of demitasse cups.That was a glove finger? I thought that was how espresso was supposed to taste.

Trebuchet
2012-Jun-20, 02:10 PM
Since you've provided this handy thread...

There's a thread in Science and Technology titled "Jobs in 200 years".

My first reaction was "Like General Francisco Franco, he'll still be dead."

John Mendenhall
2012-Jun-20, 02:19 PM
If you just have to make a joke, but fear that it would be disruptive to the original thread, you can post it here. Make sure to include enough context, or, if you have to, explanation.
That was a glove finger? I thought that was just the way espresso was supposed to taste.

Disrupt a thread? No way, that would be sour Grapes!

grapes
2012-Jun-20, 05:25 PM
Since you've provided this handy thread...

There's a thread in Science and Technology titled "Jobs in 200 years".

My first reaction was "Like General Francisco Franco, he'll still be dead."Perfect! :)

A link to the thread:
http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php/135641-Jobs-in-200-years


Disrupt a thread? No way, that would be sour Grapes!You're missing a comma! I can see I'm going to need a bigger thread.

StratMaster
2012-Jun-20, 05:28 PM
This system has the added benefit that it will be easier to identify jokes. Some of them, it's pretty hard to tell.

Luckmeister
2012-Jun-20, 06:27 PM
What do we do, say in the original thread, "Go here and read my witty remark about this"? That could be even more disruptive but if we don't do that, the humor of the moment isn't seen by the posters you wanted to see it.

One lighthearted comment in an otherwise serious thread isn't usually harmful to the discussion but often it seems like 10 other people have to chime in with their own witty follow-up which then derails the original train of thought.

I think I'll just continue allowing BAUT to suppress my goofy sense of humor and keep most of my wisecracks to myself. :)

Swift
2012-Jun-20, 07:48 PM
I think I'll continue to put appropriate jokes in their appropriate threads, without trying to derail the thread in question. Context is key to most jokes and this is entirely too complicated. If my fellow mods have a problem with that, they can infract me. :neutral:

Luckmeister
2012-Jun-20, 08:05 PM
If my fellow mods have a problem with that, they can infract me. :neutral:

A mod infracting another mod? :eek: Has it ever happened?

grapes
2012-Jun-20, 09:13 PM
This system has the added benefit that it will be easier to identify jokes. Some of them, it's pretty hard to tell.*ba-da-boom*


I think I'll just continue allowing BAUT to suppress my goofy sense of humor and keep most of my wisecracks to myself. :)OK, but some of us have less self-control! :)

To be sure, as I said in the OP, this is for possibly disruptive posts. Continue posting appropriate posts, to appropriate threads. How bad does it have to be? Well, if I hadn't made the joke in the OP, I would've gone back and changed the other post. I dunno if that helps.

novaderrik
2012-Jun-20, 11:21 PM
This system has the added benefit that it will be easier to identify jokes. Some of them, it's pretty hard to tell.

sometimes, that's a part of the joke.

Tobin Dax
2012-Jun-20, 11:24 PM
Since you've provided this handy thread...

There's a thread in Science and Technology titled "Jobs in 200 years".

My first reaction was "Like General Francisco Franco, he'll still be dead."

Now I'm going to start hearing the voice of Chevy Chase as I read your posts.

syzygy42
2012-Jun-21, 01:40 AM
In the thread concerning Jerry's Electric Leaf problem with its mystery mileage estimator, my thought was

The software must have been written by the guy who wrote the Microsoft download/copy time estimator (http://xkcd.com/612/) :)

Nicolas
2012-Jun-21, 06:58 AM
A friend of mine flies a Cessna airplane. Once, while doing a 60° turn, his steering column broke right off. At that moment, he just *had* to make a yoke.

Luckmeister
2012-Jun-21, 07:09 AM
A friend of mine flies a Cessna airplane. Once, while doing a 60° turn, his steering column broke right off. At that moment, he just *had* to make a yoke.

http://home.comcast.net/~mcluster/smile_rimshot.gif

ravens_cry
2012-Jun-21, 09:00 AM
Ok, here's a groaner I just made up, though probably someone else has already done it.

Two empty bottles of wine walk up to a bar, but the bouncer stops them.
"I'm sorry, but I can't let you in."
"Why not?" asks one of the bottles.
"Because," the bouncer replies,
"You're already drunk."

novaderrik
2012-Jun-21, 10:21 AM
http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true

swampyankee
2012-Jun-23, 08:33 PM
Don't jokes have to be funny? That leaves out anything I'll ever write.

ravens_cry
2012-Jun-23, 08:47 PM
Don't jokes have to be funny? That leaves out anything I'll ever write.
That hasn't stopped the rest of us.:p

Strange
2012-Jun-25, 12:05 PM
note: pi * 104 :eek:

That would make you pi-man

(bad joke; Jens might get it but (sensibly) probably isn't following the "lost thread" thread)

Tobin Dax
2012-Jul-06, 06:49 PM
I really don't want to derail the Name Change thread, so:


Let's make sure we get it right...

I, for one, welcome our new CQ overlords.

:D

(what do you mean I'm one of the overlords?) :confused:

"One of" the overloads? At >pi*104 posts, you're *the* overlord. I'm waiting for you and ToSeek to fight to the death. I'll provide the music as soon as I find my Star Trek CD.

Solfe
2012-Jul-07, 01:44 PM
I think the Impending Forum Name Change thread is humorless for a reason, but several posts have been regarding the response to critics of NASA now that the forum will be linked to actual science. The answer is obvious to me, we need a standard moderator response form letter. :)

"Dear <insert name here>,

After reading your post,
Chuck Norris
Nyan Cat
The Moderation Team
BigDon
Gillianren
other:_____________________
(circle one)

has concerns about your
attitude
tone
style
logic
educational level
grammar
over/under (circle one) use of capitals/punctuation/apostrophes (circle one)
dental hygiene
other:_____________________
(circle one)

The concerned party will be visiting you in person to correct these issues. If you have any questions about this FREE courtesy visit, please refer to our FAQ.

Thank you in advance,
The Moderation Team"

Tobin Dax
2012-Jul-07, 07:40 PM
You need a crank as one of the people listed, Solfe.

ABR.
2012-Jul-07, 07:58 PM
You need fewer cranks among the people listed, Solfe.

Beer?
Ferrets?
Angelina Jolie?

Noclevername
2012-Jul-08, 12:26 AM
Beer?
Ferrets?
Angelina Jolie?

How come I never get invited to those kinds of parties?

DoggerDan
2012-Jul-08, 05:22 AM
An Irishman walks out of a bar...

Solfe
2012-Jul-08, 03:22 PM
I might have over estimated the cookiness of Nyan cat.

Swift
2012-Jul-08, 07:12 PM
You need a crank as one of the people listed, Solfe.
The whole Moderation Team is cranky, so that's covered. :D

DonM435
2012-Jul-09, 01:58 PM
In the index, right below this topic, I read:

When and Where is the Milky Way

Now, I don't really want to say, "How the heck can you lose something that big????", but it seems unavoidable. Thanks for this outlet.

Swift
2012-Jul-09, 02:52 PM
In the index, right below this topic, I read:

When and Where is the Milky Way

Now, I don't really want to say, "How the heck can you lose something that big????", but it seems unavoidable. Thanks for this outlet.
:lol: I had similar thoughts. I also liked the "when" part, as it seemed a particularly strange question, until you read the thread (when is it observable).

The Backroad Astronomer
2012-Jul-09, 04:07 PM
The whole Moderation Team is cranky, so that's covered. :D
No, never would think that the moderation team would be cranky at all.

The Backroad Astronomer
2012-Jul-09, 04:21 PM
I think the Impending Forum Name Change thread is humorless for a reason, but several posts have been regarding the response to critics of NASA now that the forum will be linked to actual science. The answer is obvious to me, we need a standard moderator response form letter. :)

"Dear <insert name here>,

After reading your post,
Chuck Norris
Nyan Cat
The Moderation Team
BigDon
Gillianren
other:_____________________
(circle one)

has concerns about your
attitude
tone
style
logic
educational level
grammar
over/under (circle one) use of capitals/punctuation/apostrophes (circle one)
dental hygiene
other:_____________________
(circle one)

The concerned party will be visiting you in person to correct these issues. If you have any questions about this FREE courtesy visit, please refer to our FAQ.

Thank you in advance,
The Moderation Team"
Scary thing is that most combinations of those could apply to me.

HenrikOlsen
2012-Jul-09, 06:19 PM
You need a crank as one of the people listed, Solfe.
How about a visit by a cranky BD?

Solfe
2012-Jul-10, 02:51 AM
I am winning (http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php/99507-Last-to-post-wins-The-return./page11) and I don't know why no one else saw this coming?

DonM435
2012-Jul-10, 01:30 PM
I am winning (http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php/99507-Last-to-post-wins-The-return./page11) and I don't know why no one else saw this coming?

I just checked and you're not winning at all. Go on and check yourself, you'll see.

;)

grapes
2012-Jul-10, 02:29 PM
In the index, right below this topic, I read:

When and Where is the Milky Way

Now, I don't really want to say, "How the heck can you lose something that big????", but it seems unavoidable. Thanks for this outlet.
You're welcome! Exactly what I envisioned this thread might become. :)

Noclevername
2012-Jul-11, 10:14 PM
I am winning (http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php/99507-Last-to-post-wins-The-return./page11) and I don't know why no one else saw this coming?

So Solfe is really Charlie Sheen?

slang
2012-Sep-29, 07:41 AM
Issues concerning Flash Drives / Memory Sticks

You're not getting any younger, Sticks, no wonder you're getting issues with memory ....

grapes
2012-Sep-29, 08:46 AM
You're not getting any younger, Sticks, no wonder you're getting issues with memory ....
Perfect, a perfectly ridiculous post! :)

Nicolas
2012-Sep-29, 05:07 PM
As long as he does his flash driving hands-free...

swampyankee
2012-Sep-30, 04:38 AM
The whole Moderation Team is cranky, so that's covered. :D

Probably need to be burped, changed, and put down for a nap.

Solfe
2012-Oct-01, 01:03 PM
This isn't about anyone on CQ, but I just read an article online which made me say:

"We have rules, man. Like paragraphs and punctuation."

I'd point you there but it was both political and painfully stupid; a dense wall of text with a line for each sentence and too little punctuation.

Swift
2012-Oct-01, 01:20 PM
Probably need to be burped, changed, and put down for a nap.
I guess that's an improvement. I thought we were going to be put down like Old Yeller.

swampyankee
2012-Oct-01, 01:44 PM
I guess that's an improvement. I thought we were going to be put down like Old Yeller.

You do, I hope, have your Dr Denton's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Denton)?

slang
2016-Jan-05, 12:20 AM
My sister taking anti-meat eating stances...when she's not a vegetarian.

How does one stand to eat anti-meat? What is it? How does it relate to anti-pasta?

PetersCreek
2016-Jan-05, 01:23 AM
How does one stand to eat anti-meat? What is it? How does it relate to anti-pasta?

Well, if it's as messy as a Philly cheese steak sandwich, there is a certain posture one can assume while standing to spare the clothing.

danscope
2016-Jan-05, 01:28 AM
Maybe she's got the " Meat Sweats " :)

DonM435
2016-Jan-05, 01:58 AM
Don't add meat to anti-meat. You'll never live to taste it.

BigDon
2016-Jan-05, 10:39 PM
Dose anyone think it's possible that before the big bang, there was all matter in one sphere. In the begining that there was no gravity only mutual magnetic attraction. This mutual attraction over time created pressure that melted and condensed the core, and after more time the pressure started spinning the inner core within the outter molten core, producing gravity and electromagnetic or electromagnetic quantum gravity field for the first time. The gravity caused more presure and the flow of gravitons. Gravitons were trapped withing the smaller magnetic fields in matter between the atoms ect. when the core was melted it released these gravitons that are diamagnetc to start being repelled from the outter core. Some of these graviton were captured by the magnetic lines of force and they orbited up and around the magnetic lines of force creating gravities pull down, and others were just ejected between the electromagnetic quantum gravity fields or loops or free will gravitons that push rather than pull and end up as dark matter. The graviton is diamagnetic and has mass. these ejected or free will gravitons lose there charge and end up as entropy in the electrical system as Dark Matter and they being diamagnetic produce a field proportional to the strength of the magnetc field they are introduced too. As the dark matter entropy added up held by gravity and being repelled by the magnetic field. The original mass got smaller while the dark matter cloud got larger, kinda like a junk yard or trash heap. As the dm cloud got larger it put more force and also reflected back heat, heating and squeezing causing the core to spin faster and increasing gravity, untill there was a critical point with expansion then contraction. The spinning and the dark matter halo around the mother of all black holes caused the material to form in a flat disk. Dark matter was here before the big bang. the material ejected would be ejected into the dark matter cloud which would arange and condense the material, fast expansion took place because the mass that created the gravity was partially destroyed and magnetic field interupted allowed the material to be ejected not being affected by the gravity that caused it or the original gravity condition. The core that was left still would have played a role in slowing the matter as well as the dark matter cloud and the mutual attraction between the matter being ejected. Dark matter acted as a cosmic womb, again aranging and condensing matter allowing and helping form the galaxies we see, that were created by the smaller black holes that were created. The mother of all black holes ejected material many times as well as the black holes it spawned into a cosmic womb of dark matter that is diamagnetc. The new material surrounded by dark matter which is free will gravitons that have lost there charge. These free will gravitons help to build the new power lines from the parent like an ubilical cord. As they orbit around the magnetic lines of force they induce a field that insulates the magnetic lines of force and the gravitons from losing there energy to space and the surrounding dark matter and other possible em sinks. What do you think possible?

By Lowell D. Williams VanVorhis

But Mr. Creek, you can't suspend him!

This is the break through we needed to explain how a solid iron Sun in orbit around the Earth keeps us from detecting Niboru! The free will gravitons deflect the photon bearing ether so that older, tired photons passed through more easily than fresh new ones!

It's so simple! Really!


(All kidding aside I'm half surprised there isn't a Cthulu fhtagn! worked in there somewhere.)

slang
2017-Jan-27, 10:36 PM
How did Einstein connect mass and the speed of light? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?163805-How-did-Einstein-connect-mass-and-the-speed-of-light&p=2388307)


Is there a laymans explanation, that could vaguely answer that?

Multiplication, but I suppose that's not vague enough.

DaveC426913
2017-Jan-28, 04:21 AM
I think I'll continue to put appropriate jokes in their appropriate threads, without trying to derail the thread in question. Context is key to most jokes and this is entirely too complicated. If my fellow mods have a problem with that, they can infract me. :neutral:
Unless it's about otters. :rofl:

The Backroad Astronomer
2017-Jan-28, 04:26 AM
This evening talking to my niece over facebook
me. "What show are you watching"
her, " the Vampire diaries."
me "That show sounds like it sucks."
Her "No it is actually good."
I don't know if the joke went over her head or she just ignored it.

John Mendenhall
2017-Jan-28, 04:40 AM
Unless it's about otters. :rofl:

Humph. Otter nonsense. :D

Swift
2017-Feb-13, 10:26 PM
Could 1 man and 1 woman repopulate the world? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?163972-Could-1-man-and-1-woman-repopulate-the-world)

I keep thinking of:

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For a good thing he's found
If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he puts her down

When a man loves a woman
He can repopulate the world
Even if they represent a lack of genetic diversity
If she is too closely related, there may be inbreeding
And an accumulation of recessives
Turn his back on hemophilia
If it puts the kids down.


:evil:

Jim
2017-Feb-14, 12:39 PM
Could 1 man and 1 woman repopulate the world? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?163972-Could-1-man-and-1-woman-repopulate-the-world)

I keep thinking of:
...

Ah, yes, the little known fourth verse.

The Backroad Astronomer
2017-Feb-24, 04:01 AM
From an old monster talk episode:
with the increase population density increases in Europe all the trolls have to live on the internet.

Jim
2017-Feb-24, 12:33 PM
I always wondered about that.

publiusr
2017-Feb-24, 11:07 PM
If you just have to make a joke, but fear that it would be disruptive to the original thread, you can post it here.

I have to. I really have to.

Something just occurred to me.

The Space Launch System--SLS looks to fly in the Trump administration.

Great--now there's two loud orange things everyone hates.

I'm sorry....

try the baked fish--and everybody remember to tip your waiter.

Swift
2017-Feb-25, 05:41 AM
I have to. I really have to.

Something just occurred to me.

The Space Launch System--SLS looks to fly in the Trump administration.

Great--now there's two loud orange things everyone hates.

I'm sorry....

try the baked fish--and everybody remember to tip your waiter.
Do not go there, even as a joke.

KaiYeves
2017-Feb-25, 09:05 PM
If we're allowed to post jokes we wanted to make on other sites:

22131

Guard: "Alright, THIS time I've got my eye on you, Mister, so you'd better not try anything!"

slang
2017-Sep-26, 10:08 PM
Could the Native American Thunderbird be a folklore of the teratorn?

No, Thunderbirds are not teratorn, Thunderbirds are go! Everyone knows that!

Noisy Rhysling
2017-Sep-26, 11:07 PM
From an old monster talk episode:
with the increase population density increases in Europe all the trolls have to live on the internet.

Critics were trolls before trolling was cool. (Can I get two thumbs up for that one?)

The Backroad Astronomer
2017-Sep-26, 11:26 PM
than wouldn't everyone be a troll.

Noisy Rhysling
2017-Sep-26, 11:50 PM
than wouldn't everyone be a troll.

I don't criticize people. I don't care if their feet stink or their mother dresses them funny, that's their problem. One of many, obviously. But it's not my place to point out the obvious.

swampyankee
2017-Sep-26, 11:58 PM
How did Einstein connect mass and the speed of light? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?163805-How-did-Einstein-connect-mass-and-the-speed-of-light&p=2388307)



Multiplication, but I suppose that's not vague enough.

Sorry, I was on a relativistic voyage and the past few months just took a couple of seconds.

He used string to connect mass and the speed of light.

Noisy Rhysling
2017-Sep-27, 12:18 AM
Sorry, I was on a relativistic voyage and the past few months just took a couple of seconds.

He used string to connect mass and the speed of light.

Grace Hopper used to pass out nanoseconds.

DonM435
2017-Oct-06, 04:32 PM
VP Mike Pence Lays Out Administration’s Plan to go Back to the Moon

Sir: if you're really suggesting that the current Administration consists of homesick Moon People, this belongs under "conspiracy theories."

Noisy Rhysling
2017-Oct-06, 08:33 PM
I like parody threads, but TPTB would garrote me for doing that too often.

Which reminds me of that one thread, "Really trivial stuff that abuses you..."

The Backroad Astronomer
2017-Oct-06, 11:38 PM
I like parody threads, but TPTB would garrote me for doing that too often.

Which reminds me of that one thread, "Really trivial stuff that abuses you..."
The first entry I would have is life.

Noisy Rhysling
2017-Oct-07, 12:27 AM
The first entry I would have is life.

You wouldn't need more than one in that case.

DonM435
2017-Oct-22, 03:39 PM
North Sentinel (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Sentinel_Island) is an island in the Bay of Bengal. It is about the size of Manhattan Island. Its inhabitants ... have very little to do with the outside world. No-one else understands their language, nor do they understand languages spoken elsewhere.


Sounds just like Manhattan to me!

Noisy Rhysling
2017-Oct-22, 04:00 PM
North Sentinel (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Sentinel_Island) is an island in the Bay of Bengal. It is about the size of Manhattan Island. Its inhabitants ... have very little to do with the outside world. No-one else understands their language, nor do they understand languages spoken elsewhere.


Sounds just like Manhattan to me!

The primary language of Manhattan is everything.

DonM435
2017-Oct-22, 09:21 PM
I should have noted that I was quoting from :

https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?166910-N-Sentinel-Island-non-intervention-and-the-Fermi-paradox&p=2426602#post2426602

Swift
2017-Oct-23, 07:00 PM
If Sun went pear-shaped (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?166911-If-Sun-went-pear-shaped)
Leads naturally, at least in my head to


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fubf81OoIr8

Swift
2017-Oct-24, 01:04 PM
I didn't know where to put this, but it was too good not to share

Fireflies in a bottle (https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipMVYc1ZuZ8ESeTmJYRR-5XsmabWX_lAFSd44ShE7s_gvPSRwSdY6gLtokn8tT6DyA?key= M0F2SGpGNER3VXVjbDdIZk5TM04xTnA0aVpoN2JB)

KaiYeves
2017-Oct-24, 11:53 PM
I worry that if I make this joke on my sailing fanblog people will assume it's meant to be insulting, when it's just me being very silly...


After winning a gold medal at the Rio Olympics and the America's Cup in Bermuda this past May, this week New Zealand sailing prodigy Peter Burling embarks on the round-the-world Volvo Ocean Race as a member of Team Brunel. As many speculate about whether Mr. Burling will become the first person to be part of a winning crew in all three events, others wonder where the young man's uncanny talent and skill originate. However, one need look no farther than Mr. Burling's birthdate for an explanation-- January 1st, 1991.

You will recall, of course, that for a variety of reasons many people around the world feared that modern civilization would collapse on the 1st of January, 2000 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_2000_problem), Mr. Burling's ninth birthday, and that the number nine holds a variety of significant mythological associations. A glance at the world map will reveal that New Zealand, owing to its position near the International Date Line, was one of the first countries to enter the year 2000, and, in fact, some people believed that it would be where the destruction would begin. (http://www.cnn.com/TECH/computing/9904/02/new.zealand.y2k/)

Therefore, our happy conclusion must be that with a loving family and a happy upbringing in a beautiful part of the world, prophecies can be thwarted, and even a Herald of the Apocalypse can live a pleasant and constructive life, turning their inhuman talents instead to the productive service of their nation. Instead of ending the world, Mr. Burling celebrated his ninth birthday, we presume, with cake and ice cream.

The Backroad Astronomer
2017-Dec-19, 11:19 AM
Aliens don't use windows they use a mac.

The Backroad Astronomer
2017-Dec-19, 11:31 AM
Quantin tarantino is going to direct the next Star Wars movie, I wonder if it will space Pirates because it will be rated, ARRR.

Solfe
2018-Jan-06, 01:25 PM
Quantin tarantino is going to direct the next Star Wars movie, I wonder if it will space Pirates because it will be rated, ARRR.

OOOOO!

On another note, in the which moon is this thread (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?167608-Which-moon-is-this), the photo could be from any number of places in the North East United States.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Jan-06, 08:14 PM
or east Canada.

BigDon
2018-Jan-06, 08:26 PM
Can you imagine what Tom Manzanec was like as a five year old?

swampyankee
2018-Jan-07, 01:41 PM
The primary language of Manhattan is everything.

I can't think of a good joke from that. It's just too close to true.


(According to this site (https://www1.nyc.gov/site/planning/data-maps/nyc-population/population-facts.page), over 200 languages are spoken in the city, and NYC has been dealing with that sort of issue for well over a century. In another article on the topic, the Endangered Language Alliance (http://elalliance.org/) is hunting the streets (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/29/nyregion/29lost.html) of New York for languages that are dying out in their native lands. They also mention that the estimate of 200 is low, and that there may be as many as 800 languages spoken in NYC.

One of the most surprising things I ever read was there were several thousand Mexican immigrants, people who were born and reared in Mexico, who did not speak Spanish. We could probably repopulate the world from NYC without losing too much diversity.)

Strange
2018-Jan-10, 10:45 PM
(Unless you have been following a particular thread this won't make much sense)


gzhpcu, keep in mind that this "image" will not be a visible light photograph, but a radio wavelength image (translated into visible wavelengths for human eyeballs).

But will there be an echo of the original wavelength...

DonM435
2018-Jan-11, 01:56 PM
Is cold weather bad for my telescope?

If that's what you're calling it these days, then, yes.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Jan-11, 10:11 PM
This was an idea for a t-shirt,"astronomers know how to use their 16 inchers."
(the telescope was 16 inches.)

Swift
2018-Jan-22, 02:43 PM
Is the universe static (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?167525-Is-the-universe-static)

Apparently so. I got a bigger antenna, and tried to tune it in, but I still only get static. :p

schlaugh
2018-Jan-22, 03:28 PM
Is the universe static (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?167525-Is-the-universe-static)

Apparently so. I got a bigger antenna, and tried to tune it in, but I still only get static. :p

Did you try cleaning the pigeon droppings (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discovery_of_cosmic_microwave_background_radiation ) from your antenna?

Swift
2018-Jan-22, 04:22 PM
Did you try cleaning the pigeon droppings (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discovery_of_cosmic_microwave_background_radiation ) from your antenna?
:lol:

skymapper
2018-Jan-22, 05:56 PM
This was an idea for a t-shirt,"astronomers know how to use their 16 inchers."
(the telescope was 16 inches.)

Do they generally operate those telescopes themselves?

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Jan-22, 07:00 PM
Do they generally operate those telescopes themselves?
Telescope is used mostly for teaching purposes, so many of the undergrads do at least.

SeanF
2018-Jan-22, 09:42 PM
This was an idea for a t-shirt,"astronomers know how to use their 16 inchers."
(the telescope was 16 inches.)
Do they generally operate those telescopes themselves?
Not if they're lucky.

BigDon
2018-Jan-29, 05:59 PM
Am I the only member beginning to suspect Dave Lee is a bot?

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Jan-29, 06:00 PM
I'll have fun either way.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Jan-29, 06:02 PM
Plus who says I am not a bot?

BigDon
2018-Feb-01, 03:10 PM
While reading the last two entries in the Carolina Bays thread, incidental music from a half a dozen different Spaghetti Westerns began playing through my head.

I got 10,000 Quatloos on RC.

Swift
2018-Feb-06, 07:37 PM
Hypertelescope at 550 AU (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?167864-Hypertelescope-at-550-AU)

Wouldn't a hypertelescope be a bad idea? I mean it would keep moving around; you'd never get a good image. Maybe you'd have to give it some Ritalin? :p

Nicolas
2018-Feb-07, 12:53 PM
"If a SWAT team tries to shoot someone behind a window..."

Are you asking this for "a friend"? :whistle:

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Feb-14, 05:56 PM
Did you hear about the ghost investigator who specialized in haunted bathrooms?
His researched stalled.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Feb-14, 05:57 PM
"If a SWAT team tries to shoot someone behind a window..."

Are you asking this for "a friend"? :whistle:
There was a guy on my road who had to worry about I think twice.
(he was kind of bully when I knew in school)

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Feb-15, 09:05 PM
There was a guy on my road who had to worry about I think twice.
(he was kind of bully when I knew in school)
Can you really say bad timing, turned on the news and another shooting.

BigDon
2018-Feb-19, 07:16 PM
Frogmarch's latest blackhole thread.

Reading the discussion I'm constantly reminded of a meme that showed up after the second LOTR movie came out.

"Wings, no wings, who gives a crap? What part of *Balrog* don't you get?"

Solfe
2018-Feb-28, 05:11 AM
As a kid I was raised on old movies and bad TV shows, as an adult I am happy to find that quicksand is not the problem I thought it was going to be.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Feb-28, 05:34 AM
Were there any that taught people to keep there mouths shut, because I probably of should have watched a few.

BigDon
2018-Mar-02, 03:03 PM
As a kid I was raised on old movies and bad TV shows, as an adult I am happy to find that quicksand is not the problem I thought it was going to be.

Asphalt seeps on the other hand are far more horrifying than you realize. Especially in a snowy environment.

DonM435
2018-Mar-02, 04:03 PM
Were there any [old TV shows] that taught people to keep there mouths shut, because I probably of should have watched a few.

When my brother and I were little kids, my Mom hated for us to watch Danny Thomas' sitcom, because his kids in it talked back to the parents with smart cracks, and got audience laughs for doing so.

When Thomas' morning re-runs were competing with those of Leave it to Beaver, she'd change the channel to the latter.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Mar-12, 09:59 PM
If Apple came out with a Product called Kewl-Aid
would Apple fan boys drink the Kewl-aid.

grant hutchison
2018-Mar-16, 08:53 PM
The "Are people redeemable" thread just makes we wonder "For what?"
Money? Credits against future purchases?

Grant Hutchison

Swift
2018-Mar-16, 09:11 PM
The "Are people redeemable" thread just makes we wonder "For what?"
Money? Credits against future purchases?

Grant Hutchison
:lol: I had the same thought, though I was thinking more along the lines of "fabulous prizes!".

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Mar-16, 09:18 PM
Some a worth a cup of soylent green and others maybe a liter.

Swift
2018-Mar-20, 02:39 AM
If Space was discrete (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?168121-If-space-were-discrete-what-shape-are-the-units), would if be constantly go on about how its relationship with Time. To much information!

KaiYeves
2018-Mar-20, 04:23 PM
If Space was discrete (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?168121-If-space-were-discrete-what-shape-are-the-units), would if be constantly go on about how its relationship with Time. To much information!

Wouldn’t that be indiscreet?

grant hutchison
2018-Mar-20, 04:35 PM
Plus who says I am not a bot?That would certainly explain a lot.

Grant Hutchison

BigDon
2018-Mar-23, 04:02 PM
Relativistic Mass Increase

Not nearly as real as post-wedding mass increase...

KaiYeves
2018-Apr-13, 03:00 AM
From the "UFOs and Nukes" thread:




Exactly correct. Land use and our own resource harvesting, pollution, global warming, and many other activities have had dramatic negative impacts on species diversity and habitat destruction; one might argue as much, if not more so, than any likely nuclear exchange (certainly more than that caused by actual nuclear weapon use). I haven't seen these hypothetical aliens doing much about that.
Cut to an office at Greenpeace HQ, where an LGM hastily pulls its human mask back on as loud knocking is heard on the door.

grant hutchison
2018-May-04, 02:24 PM
Surely I can't be the only person who wants to respond to the thread "Anyone here done any research into radio stars?" with "Yes. Apparently video killed them."

Grant Hutchison

Swift
2018-May-04, 03:18 PM
Surely I can't be the only person who wants to respond to the thread "Anyone here done any research into radio stars?" with "Yes. Apparently video killed them."

Grant Hutchison

:rofl: :clap:

KaiYeves
2018-May-04, 05:52 PM
Surely I can't be the only person who wants to respond to the thread "Anyone here done any research into radio stars?" with "Yes. Apparently video killed them."

Grant Hutchison

Hahaha, good one!

slang
2018-May-04, 10:41 PM
Surely I can't be the only person who wants to respond to the thread "Anyone here done any research into radio stars?" with "Yes. Apparently video killed them."

Grant Hutchison

Ah yes, I'm soooo ToSeeked :) Exactly right! I should have checked here. Worse... after posting mine (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?168626-Anyone-here-done-any-research-into-radio-stars), I thought "Perhaps that ought to have gone to the "when you just have to"-thread...".. and I STILL didn't check!

peteshimmon
2018-May-05, 07:52 PM
I suppose everyone makes the perfect comment in their lifetime. Many years ago after a meeting we were in the pub discussing things. I had said some concillatory about astrology and was made to stand in the corner metaphorically. Then one of us was told she had to be somewhere else but she wanted to stay chatting. She cried oh I could cut myself down the middle. Knowing her birthday I said quietly in the silence following "typical gemini". Everyone creased up. Except her. She came at me pummeling my tummy, I tripped over my feet and was spralled over the floor. Which was even funnier for everyone. Hoinestly some people are/were very fanatical about their science!

Trebuchet
2018-May-06, 12:58 AM
I suppose everyone makes the perfect comment in their lifetime.

About 1964, I wanted to grow my hair just a little bit longer. My mother didn't like it, and for about 20 years kept reminding me that "the men are wearing their hair shorter now." Right through the sixties and seventies. In the early '80's she said it again. She'd seen it in a magazine. And it was true, for a certain subset of men. I pointed out to her that "Yes, but all of those guys are gay." Last I heard of it.
That only lasted for a short time, as did my hair, but I was glad not to have to hear it any more.

DonM435
2018-May-06, 04:16 AM
About 1964, I wanted to grow my hair just a little bit longer. My mother didn't like it, and for about 20 years kept reminding me that "the men are wearing their hair shorter now." Right through the sixties and seventies. In the early '80's she said it again. She'd seen it in a magazine. And it was true, for a certain subset of men. I pointed out to her that "Yes, but all of those guys are gay." Last I heard of it.
That only lasted for a short time, as did my hair, but I was glad not to have to hear it any more.

Yes, there were a couple of generations there that thought the World-War-inspired buzz-cuts (you had to keep clean in foxholes) were the only acceptable haircut for real men, and some of us had to fight that belief throughout our school and working careers. If you showed 'em a picture of George Washington or Thomas Jefferson or some Civil War hero (not to mention that guy Jesus), they'd dismiss it out of hand, like those characters didn't know any better. The long hair made the boys look like girls, and that was evil! However, if you let your beard grow a bit, surely something that would set the men apart, that was just as bad.

ozduck
2018-May-06, 04:22 AM
Yes, there were a couple of generations there that thought the World-War-inspired buzz-cuts (you had to keep clean in foxholes) were the only acceptable haircut for real men, and some of us had to fight that belief throughout our school and working careers. If you showed 'em a picture of George Washington or Thomas Jefferson or some Civil War hero (not to mention that guy Jesus), they'd dismiss it out of hand, like those characters didn't know any better. The long hair made the boys look like girls, and that was evil! However, if you let your beard grow a bit, surely something that would set the men apart, that was just as bad.

Ah yes long hair in the 1970's, which I had, was always fun with older people.The main tragedy for me is that I had more hair in just one of my big sideburns then than I have on top of my shiny head now.

grant hutchison
2018-May-06, 04:04 PM
I suppose everyone makes the perfect comment in their lifetime.I, unfortunately, chose entirely the wrong moment for mine.
Back in the day when I was a medical student, the students were seen as part of the team - in particular, during a surgical attachment, you were relied on to assist during surgery.
So I turned up one day when my team was running two operating lists, senior registrar in one operating theatre, consultant in the other. And I was nabbed by the SR to assist with his minor surgical list. We'd just completed the first operation (a circumcision), when one of the surgical team from the neighbouring theatre came through to report that the (notoriously irrascible) consultant surgeon was demanding to know where "his" medical student had gone, because he needed an extra pair of hands for a tricky splenectomy. This, of course, trumped the SR's need for assistance, so I went through to report to the (by now very irate) consultant, who was already in the middle of surgery.
"Where the hell have you been?" he demanded, as soon as I walked in the door of the theatre (which contained about ten other members of staff, all watching to see how this drama played out).
"Doing a circumcision," I reported, pointing towards the neighbouring theatre, keen to make clear that: a) I hadn't just wandered in late for work; and b) my absence was really the senior registrar's fault.
"Doing a circumcision?" echoed the consultant, in a sarcastic sing-song. "What? On your own?"
Now, that sort of bully-boy behaviour has always really hacked me off. So I smiled brightly and replied, "No. On someone else's."

My relationship with that consultant never recovered, but I found myself strangely popular with pretty much everyone else in that small hospital, once the story got out.

Grant Hutchison

Trebuchet
2018-May-06, 04:51 PM
Ah yes long hair in the 1970's, which I had, was always fun with older people.The main tragedy for me is that I had more hair in just one of my big sideburns then than I have on top of my shiny head now.

That's me as well. And, of course, what hair I do have is now a different color.


I, unfortunately, chose entirely the wrong moment for mine.
Back in the day when I was a medical student, the students were seen as part of the team - in particular, during a surgical attachment, you were relied on to assist during surgery.
So I turned up one day when my team was running two operating lists, senior registrar in one operating theatre, consultant in the other. And I was nabbed by the SR to assist with his minor surgical list. We'd just completed the first operation (a circumcision), when one of the surgical team from the neighbouring theatre came through to report that the (notoriously irrascible) consultant surgeon was demanding to know where "his" medical student had gone, because he needed an extra pair of hands for a tricky splenectomy. This, of course, trumped the SR's need for assistance, so I went through to report to the (by now very irate) consultant, who was already in the middle of surgery.
"Where the hell have you been?" he demanded, as soon as I walked in the door of the theatre (which contained about ten other members of staff, all watching to see how this drama played out).
"Doing a circumcision," I reported, pointing towards the neighbouring theatre, keen to make clear that: a) I hadn't just wandered in late for work; and b) my absence was really the senior registrar's fault.
"Doing a circumcision?" echoed the consultant, in a sarcastic sing-song. "What? On your own?"
Now, that sort of bully-boy behaviour has always really hacked me off. So I smiled brightly and replied, "No. On someone else's."

My relationship with that consultant never recovered, but I found myself strangely popular with pretty much everyone else in that small hospital, once the story got out.

Grant Hutchison

I LOVE that story!

Swift
2018-May-14, 02:10 PM
The weight of a light bulb (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?168656-The-weight-of-a-light-bulb)

Well... it has to be pretty light, or it would be a heavy bulb. :whistle:

BigDon
2018-May-21, 07:34 PM
Okay peeps, how long until Dave Lee finally drives Shaula insane and Shaula becomes a super villain ala Chief Inspector Dreyfus of the Pink Panther series?

Anybody?

Swift
2018-May-21, 08:15 PM
Okay peeps, how long until Dave Lee finally drives Shaula insane and Shaula becomes a super villain ala Chief Inspector Dreyfus of the Pink Panther series?

Anybody?
No, that is not an appropriate topic for discussion.

BigDon
2018-May-30, 08:56 PM
Or, I guess, you may have a better volumetric memory than I do. A modern plastic "pint" bottle actually contains 500ml, whereas the imperial pint in the old glass bottles was 568ml.

I think I could tell those apart, side by side, even allowing for the different shape and wall thickness of the containers. But I suspect it's beyond my ability to judge from memory.

Grant Hutchison

Which then begs the question;

"If a centipede a pint and a velocipede a gallon, how much could a precipice?"

Or maybe not.

BigDon
2018-Jun-01, 03:41 PM
Another question!

How come Englanders can only hold 5 or 6 pints when it looks like they should be able to 8 or 9?

BigDon
2018-Jun-04, 05:07 PM
The Rothmans' Mars thread...

Alright! The hommes is ready to throw down and post!

Haven't looked forward to a good conspiracy thread since the mods cut out all the 9/11 posts and restricted conspiracies to space only!

BigDon
2018-Jun-04, 06:32 PM
Whenever I read one of Shaula's mathematically technical replies I feel I should be out twig fishing for termites.

Anybody else get that?

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Jun-04, 06:35 PM
Some peoples posts make me feel like the termite.

BigDon
2018-Jun-04, 06:56 PM
Some peoples posts make me feel like the termite.

Hey! I have a nice, tasty, chewed twig for you...

BigDon
2018-Jun-09, 06:23 PM
Does front yard wildlife count? Because there are orcas in the bay in front of my house!



We even allow side yard and overflights.

And I thought flying *cows* were a bad idea! A large male orca can weigh six to eight TONS! A really large cow, not so much.

We're going to need bigger beach umbrellas...

BigDon
2018-Jun-09, 06:23 PM
(Darn I seem to have muffed Treb's quote box.)

Trebuchet
2018-Jun-09, 06:38 PM
(Darn I seem to have muffed Treb's quote box.)
No worries, you've got a bay as well!

BigDon
2018-Jun-10, 04:00 PM
Hey Swift!

Dr. Grant and the others are making words up again! And then pretending they're real! Probably went into cahoots via the PM system!

I only suspected with "Qualia" and "Quale" but then Dr. G overplayed his hand with "grue" and "bleen".

Yeeaahh, I'm watching you guys...

Trebuchet
2018-Jun-11, 10:56 PM
It is dark. You have been eaten by a grue.

ETA: And having just scanned the thread, I find myself astounded that it has gone 26 posts without "If a tree falls in the forest...." Which is actually the subject of the thread.

Swift
2018-Jun-19, 08:21 PM
Quantum of time (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?168924-quantum-of-time)

Was that the James Bond with Halle Berry. or is that the one where M gets killed?

Solfe
2018-Jun-20, 12:51 AM
Quantum of time (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?168924-quantum-of-time)

Was that the James Bond with Halle Berry. or is that the one where M gets killed?

I was thinking the exact same thing! Halle Berry I would think.

Swift
2018-Jun-21, 09:17 PM
Tom's Ray Gun thread in S&T reminds me of this Charles Addam's cartoon

http://www.wunderland.com/WTS/Rash/misc/images/fiddlesticks.jpg

DonM435
2018-Jun-22, 01:19 PM
23416

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Jun-25, 04:02 PM
At the auction sometimes when I bring up something like a wheelbarrow the auctioneer will point to me and goes "it comes with one horsepower".

Swift
2018-Aug-24, 08:24 PM
In a universe of only EM radiation (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?169627-In-a-universe-of-only-EM-radiation-what-would-be-the-entropy-and-would-it-everchange) the one-eyed proton is king (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/in_the_land_of_the_blind,_the_one-eyed_man_is_king).

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Aug-24, 08:36 PM
Are you positive.

PetersCreek
2018-Aug-24, 08:37 PM
Negative, Ghostrider.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Sep-20, 12:32 AM
Would a fake pho be called a pho pas.

Grey
2018-Sep-20, 02:48 PM
Would a fake pho be called a pho pas.Of course not. It would be a faux pho.

Solfe
2018-Oct-08, 02:21 PM
Reading one of the ATM threads made me think of the mock definition, "Tautology: See Tautology".

No, no it doesn't work like that. :)

DonM435
2018-Oct-08, 02:27 PM
I think that's "recursion."

"To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion."

Swift
2018-Oct-08, 05:41 PM
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/honor_societies.png

Swift
2018-Oct-10, 03:26 PM
Can moons have moons? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170111-Can-moons-have-moons&p=2463451#post2463451)

The real question is "Should moons have moons?" and I think any decent person would agree that the answer is "no". There is just something unseemly about it. I mean really! The whole galaxy is just going to heck. :mad:

:D

Solfe
2018-Oct-13, 02:28 AM
Not much of a joke, but more of a funny aside.

In reading Clever's Sea Stories in Space thread, Clever and another poster mentioned their lack of nautical experience.

I have little nautical experience myself, but I was on a 40 passenger boat when the engine died. This was on a Cub Scout trip, it was carrying 20 scouts, 10 adults and 10 crew. We drifted around for a bit as everyone check everyone else for life vests. All of the sudden the engine fired right back up. It was pretty clear that the crew had no idea what the heck happened, so we went right back to the dock and disembarked. I sort of had the impression that none of the crew were doing anything that might cause the engine to start when it did. Two crew members stayed on the boat looking things over for a few minutes and then got right off with the sourest looks on their faces.

As me and my boys walked away, a gaggle of 8 year old's muttered several comments about never getting back on that boat, ever again. Smart kids.

The very next year, they had a whole new engine. My son is now staff at one of the camps and I hear they don't use that boat at all. Apparently something's so wrong a new engine wouldn't fix it.

Noclevername
2018-Oct-13, 02:41 AM
I once spent the better part of 12 hours trying to save my sister's sinking boat. Ended up bailing it out with buckets alongside Sis and 2 total Good Samaritan strangers, and towing it to the ramp (engine was awash). Now my sister already had a very stressful life before her boat suddenly sank. At that point she said "No more" to boating or boat ownership; not that she can afford to replace it anyway, she got it in the divorce.

ADDED: I forgot this was a joke thread. Take my wife please, wakka wakka!

Noclevername
2018-Oct-16, 11:21 PM
In the DNA privacy thread there's a post about people selling their DNA to corporations. (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170165-Your-DNA-should-it-be-private-or-who-cares&p=2464287#post2464287) (Nothing worrisome there.)

I tried to sell my genes once. They asked for a refund.

Trebuchet
2018-Oct-17, 12:01 AM
I remember stores wanting to buy your jeans. They were shipping them to the USSR (!) where they cost much more than new ones.

KaiYeves
2018-Oct-17, 06:57 AM
Speaking of jeans, when I was doing my field school in Athens a few years ago, there was a very good tailor in our neighborhood we would take ours to if they ever got torn. He was very well-educated about Classical archaeology and the ancient Athenian democracy. All you had to do was walk in holding your torn jeans, and he would look up from the counter and say...

"Euripides?"

To which we would say, "Nai (yes), Eumenides?"

And the response would be, "Nai, 15 Euro."

Noclevername
2018-Oct-17, 09:03 AM
Speaking of jeans, when I was doing my field school in Athens a few years ago, there was a very good tailor in our neighborhood we would take ours to if they ever got torn. He was very well-educated about Classical archaeology and the ancient Athenian democracy. All you had to do was walk in holding your torn jeans, and he would look up from the counter and say...

"Euripides?"

To which we would say, "Nai (yes), Eumenides?"

And the response would be, "Nai, 15 Euro."
:rimshot:

Swift
2018-Oct-17, 03:35 PM
Do earthquake lights appear right before a major strike? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170027-Do-quot-earthquake-lights-quot-appear-right-before-a-major-strike)

Didn't Karen Carpenter have a song about this?

Don't lights, suddenly appear,
Every time, you strike fear?
Just like me, they long to be
Shaken by you.

Noclevername
2018-Oct-17, 03:49 PM
Why does puke suddenly appear
Every time I drink beer?

Grey
2018-Oct-17, 04:22 PM
How do you make more astronomers? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170129-How-do-you-make-more-astronomers)

Okay, um, well, you see, when two astronomers love each other very much...

Swift
2018-Oct-17, 05:31 PM
How do you make more astronomers? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170129-How-do-you-make-more-astronomers)

Okay, um, well, you see, when two astronomers love each other very much...
:lol:

Roger E. Moore
2018-Oct-17, 05:38 PM
How do you make more astronomers? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170129-How-do-you-make-more-astronomers)

Okay, um, well, you see, when two astronomers love each other very much...

Or have had a lot of beer.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Oct-17, 06:04 PM
And to make astrobiologists you cross an astronomer with a biologists.

Noclevername
2018-Oct-17, 06:20 PM
And to make astrobiologists you cross an astronomer with a biologists.

Just don't mix an astrologist with a biologist, or you get a micro-evolutionist.

KaiYeves
2018-Oct-22, 07:29 PM
“The Big Bang Theory Violates the Law of Gravity”. I know it’s not a popular show, but I’d never heard any critic go that far before.

publiusr
2018-Oct-22, 07:31 PM
Well, it is light hearted.....

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Oct-22, 08:33 PM
“The Big Bang Theory Violates the Law of Gravity”. I know it’s not a popular show, but I’d never heard any critic go that far before.
I heard the salaries have inflated over the years.

Noclevername
2018-Oct-22, 09:27 PM
I heard the salaries have inflated over the years.

Can you expand on that statement? Or does that bring too much dark energy to the conversation?

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Oct-22, 09:52 PM
Can you expand on that statement? Or does that bring too much dark energy to the conversation?
The hole thing is a dark matter. Let us just say some get paid quantum levels more than others.

Noclevername
2018-Oct-22, 10:06 PM
The hole thing is a dark matter. Let us just say some get paid quantum levels more than others.

I'm sure the bulk of that money goes to the supergiant stars while the rest get by on a shoe string; Theory is a mass of ideas in fusion, but do the writers attract any credit? The actors get rich and date models while the poor script writers wallow in their singularity.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Oct-22, 10:42 PM
You do not want go into the black hole that is the writers room.

Swift
2018-Oct-23, 12:55 AM
“The Big Bang Theory Violates the Law of Gravity”. I know it’s not a popular show, but I’d never heard any critic go that far before.
I'm not sure; this bit (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw5tAqujqeg) seems to imply some violations of the law of gravity.

Noclevername
2018-Oct-23, 12:57 AM
I'm not sure; this bit (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw5tAqujqeg) seems to imply some violations of the law of gravity.

That's how they won the Golden Globes.

Swift
2018-Oct-23, 12:59 AM
That's how they won the Golden Globes.

:rimshot:

Noclevername
2018-Oct-23, 01:08 AM
I'll be here all week folks, don't forget to tip those waiters.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Oct-23, 01:09 AM
Tip to the waiters, get another job.

The Backroad Astronomer
2018-Oct-24, 08:07 PM
Today I noticed someone I follow is in Delhi, so want to ask him to if they pastrami on rye or kosher pickles.

Solfe
2018-Nov-11, 02:41 PM
From the Baby Formula thread (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170392-Soy-baby-formula-severe-adult-dysmenorrhea-endometriosis-larger-fibroids-reprodu). Funny and NOT FUNNY AT ALL: Certain products have chemicals that are similar to estrogen. In theory, that can mess you up. No comment if the threat is real, but when any threat aims at your gonads, people freak out.

grant hutchison
2018-Nov-11, 02:48 PM
Reproductive organs and babies and vegetarians. If there was also a threat to puppies, it would be a perfect storm of panic and outrage.

Grant Hutchison

Swift
2018-Nov-27, 03:07 PM
What will happen at the end of the Universe? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170510-What-will-happen-at-the-end-of-the-Universe&p=2468031#post2468031)

I believe they will build a very nice restaurant (https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Milliways).

Extravoice
2018-Nov-28, 07:38 PM
Every time the “Oumuamua, possible internal composition” thread headline pops up, my mind immediately flashes to “creamy nougat?”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Swift
2018-Nov-28, 08:13 PM
Every time the “Oumuamua, possible internal composition” thread headline pops up, my mind immediately flashes to “creamy nougat?”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
How about Crunchy Frog?

PetersCreek
2018-Nov-28, 08:16 PM
How about Crunchy Frog?

Don't you even take the bones out?

ABR.
2018-Nov-28, 09:10 PM
Don't you even take the bones out?

But then it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?

Noclevername
2018-Nov-28, 09:11 PM
But then it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?

If you want crunchy, throw away the frog and eat the bones.

DaveC426913
2018-Nov-28, 11:55 PM
Every time the “Oumuamua, possible internal composition” thread headline pops up, my mind immediately flashes to “creamy nougat?”

I'm cynical. I think it'll be 90% packing material, with a small plastic window in the front in which all the chocolates are displayed.

DonM435
2018-Dec-10, 07:48 AM
Star Trek's planet classification

W. Just like Earth, but cool extra moons and humans are 10% weaker.
R. Just like Earth, but Romans rule.
G. Just like Earth, but Gangsters rule.
N. Just like Earth, but Nazis rule.
$. Just like Earth, but set in a past era when leftover NBC sets are appropriate.
.
.
.

Swift
2018-Dec-10, 02:20 PM
Star Trek's planet classification

W. Just like Earth, but cool extra moons and humans are 10% weaker.
R. Just like Earth, but Romans rule.
G. Just like Earth, but Gangsters rule.
N. Just like Earth, but Nazis rule.
$. Just like Earth, but set in a past era when leftover NBC sets are appropriate.
.
.
.
:lol:

What are the classifications for planets with nubile girls that will like Captain Kirk? What do you mean "all of them"?

Jim
2018-Dec-10, 06:25 PM
:lol:

What are the classifications for planets with nubile girls that will like Captain Kirk? ...

Obviously XXX.

SeanF
2018-Dec-12, 06:00 PM
Robot vacuum cleaners

Or are they tiktok vacuum cleaners?

KaiYeves
2018-Dec-14, 05:55 PM
Bugs are dying off— why? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170174-Bugs-are-dying-off-why)
Although I am far more concerned about it than he was, I couldn’t help but read the title in Calvin’s voice:
23852
(x (http://thecuriousbrain.com/?p=40689))

Swift
2018-Dec-14, 07:33 PM
Bugs are dying off— why? (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170174-Bugs-are-dying-off-why)
Although I am far more concerned about it than he was, I couldn’t help but read the title in Calvin’s voice:
23852
(x (http://thecuriousbrain.com/?p=40689))
That reminds me of this cartoon from an artist that I really like (her name is Rosemary Mosco and her website is called Bird and Moon)
http://www.birdandmoon.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/antandgrasshopper.jpg

grant hutchison
2018-Dec-14, 07:49 PM
Yeah, where did the tiny violin come from? For obvious reasons it's not in the orginal Aesop (the grasshopper sings during the summer), and I'd never encountered a version involving a violin until right now. But it seems to be A Thing, presumably intended as a reference to the grasshopper's stridulation. I wonder who made that up.

Grant Hutchison

SeanF
2018-Dec-14, 08:00 PM
While the Titanic disaster occurred just over 100 years ago...
...to this day, the ship's swimming pool is still full.

Roger E. Moore
2018-Dec-14, 08:08 PM
...to this day, the ship's swimming pool is still full.

They don't build 'em like they used to.

Noclevername
2018-Dec-15, 03:35 AM
Yeah, where did the tiny violin come from? For obvious reasons it's not in the orginal Aesop (the grasshopper sings during the summer), and I'd never encountered a version involving a violin until right now. But it seems to be A Thing, presumably intended as a reference to the grasshopper's stridulation. I wonder who made that up.

Grant Hutchison

Disney.

Noclevername
2018-Dec-15, 03:36 AM
They don't build 'em like they used to.

Nowadays, they build passenger ships to go on TOP of the ocean.

Swift
2018-Dec-17, 03:00 AM
Originally Posted by grant hutchison
Yeah, where did the tiny violin come from? For obvious reasons it's not in the orginal Aesop (the grasshopper sings during the summer), and I'd never encountered a version involving a violin until right now. But it seems to be A Thing, presumably intended as a reference to the grasshopper's stridulation. I wonder who made that up.

Grant HutchisonDisney.
Disney (a 1930s cartoon) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxzI2yPbc5s)

Solfe
2018-Dec-18, 05:06 AM
The World English (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?170695-World-English) thread got me thinking about the Led Zeppelin song "D'yer Mak'er". I can't sound out words to save my life. I was completely perplexed by it's spelling. It was a case where I simply gave up trying to understand.

I was equally perplexed when I heard a friend call it: "Dire Maker". I couldn't figure out how he got from that spelling to those sounds.

I happen to like that song a lot, but I couldn't tell you a single phrase of the lyrics. In fact, I've never trouble to look for them at all. Its just pretty sounds to me.

Grey
2018-Dec-18, 09:19 PM
It's a reference to the joke:

"My wife has gone on holiday to the West Indies."

"Jamaica?" (or, "D'yer Mak'er (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%27yer_Mak%27er)?")

"No, she wanted to go."

publiusr
2019-Jan-04, 07:12 PM
O-mua-mua-mua
Quit coughing!

O'mua-a..the comet sleeps tonight....

Swift
2019-Jan-05, 01:47 AM
Is this what the "Spin in fluids" thread is about?

LINK (https://youtu.be/tRtHk5hk8v4?t=11)

profloater
2019-Jan-05, 02:32 PM
Is this what the "Spin in fluids" thread is about?

LINK (https://youtu.be/tRtHk5hk8v4?t=11)
it's more about this large washing machine spotted from... spin city ?
(this ref. is about ocean vorticity working at long ranges)
https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2017-12/uol-ri121117.php

DonM435
2019-Jan-06, 03:17 PM
Thread: Why can't a school build its own Stonehenge?

Can't see why not. I'd think that the original patent would have expired by now ...

Solfe
2019-Jan-08, 03:43 AM
"The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe."

Lol.

Van Rijn
2019-Jan-08, 04:07 AM
Probably not appropriate for the serious Tyson thread, but the question "I wonder what would happen if he saw a tattoo on a guy he liked what he would do?" made me think of this old Dilbert strip, about different expectations on personal space:

https://dilbert.com/strip/1991-12-20

Extravoice
2019-Feb-05, 10:38 AM
I read in the Insight Lander thread that it is almost ready to deploy its heat probe, and “The Beverly Hillbillies” theme song began playing in my mind.

“Black gold, Martian tea?”



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Roger E. Moore
2019-Feb-05, 06:54 PM
Science news headline: "Dung beetles navigate better under a full moon".

We'll let that sink in.

https://phys.org/news/2019-02-dung-beetles-full-moon.html

DaveC426913
2019-Feb-06, 12:55 AM
We'll let that sink in.

Better to let it drop. :rimshot:

Roger E. Moore
2019-Feb-06, 01:21 PM
better to let it drop. :rimshot:

ouch!

Swift
2019-Apr-25, 01:59 PM
We now have confirmation the explosives caused a crater on the astroid.

https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20190425/p2g/00m/0dm/095000c

The President of Ryugu: "Today my fellow Ryuguians, the planet Earth has viciously, and without provocation attacked our beloved Ryugu. This mindless aggression shall not go unanswered. As I speak, our attack fleet is approaching Earth. Vengeance is ours!"

http://reviewsjpegs4.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/Fleet.jpg

Jim
2019-Apr-25, 02:28 PM
"When you just have to make a joke?" What, you think it's funny that we're about to be annialated ... anihilated ... anihalated ... destroyed by an alien race?

Swift
2019-Apr-25, 05:11 PM
I, for one, welcome our Ryuguian overlords.

Trebuchet
2019-Apr-26, 02:13 AM
the president of ryugu: "today my fellow ryuguians, the planet earth has viciously, and without provocation attacked our beloved ryugu. This mindless aggression shall not go unanswered. As i speak, our attack fleet is approaching earth. Vengeance is ours!"

http://reviewsjpegs4.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/fleet.jpg


"when you just have to make a joke?" what, you think it's funny that we're about to be annialated ... Anihilated ... Anihalated ... Destroyed by an alien race?

ex-ter-min-ate!

ETA: I typed the above in all-caps, twice. The forum converted it to lower case. Twice.

Nicolas
2019-Apr-26, 07:03 AM
I, for one, welcome our Ryuguian overlords.

All our base are belong to Ryugu.

SeanF
2019-Apr-26, 01:09 PM
ex-ter-min-ate!

ETA: I typed the above in all-caps, twice. The forum converted it to lower case. Twice.

The system won't let you have an entire post in caps, but I think if you'd left (or-reentered) the caps when you added your mixed-case ETA, it would've accepted it.

EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

Roger E. Moore
2019-Apr-26, 01:15 PM
I strongly feel that this Ryugu problem is related to dung beetles, per my last post in this thread which has not gotten the adulation it deserves. My post, not the dung beetles.

The Backroad Astronomer
2019-Apr-26, 04:39 PM
I, for one, welcome our Ryuguian overlords.


You just wanted an excuse to say that.

Solfe
2019-Apr-27, 12:13 AM
From the black hole thread:


P.S. -- Are there metersticks these days, in lieu of yardsticks? I don't recall reading about metersticks.

Lightsabres. I found a box of meter sticks in a school labeled Lightsabres a couple of years ago. I wish I had thought of it.

ozduck
2019-Apr-27, 02:18 AM
From the black hole thread:



Lightsabres. I found a box of meter sticks in a school labeled Lightsabres a couple of years ago. I wish I had thought of it.

Of course here, and the UK, NZ etc, a meter stick is something you might use to hit a parking meter but we would use a metre stick to measure. I wonder if the spelling difference dates from the Webster Dictionary days or is more recent?

DonM435
2019-Apr-27, 04:11 AM
24151

Nicolas
2019-Apr-27, 07:28 AM
I liked a variant I saw some years ago. For all signs, it read: "this month, just like any other month, the relative position of randomly chosen distant starts has absolutely no influence on your life. Enjoy!"

Jens
2019-Apr-27, 07:28 AM
Of course here, and the UK, NZ etc, a meter stick is something you might use to hit a parking meter but we would use a metre stick to measure. I wonder if the spelling difference dates from the Webster Dictionary days or is more recent?

Apparently it’s because in the UK you prefer to use original spellings of borrowed words and the unit of length was borrowed from French while the other meaning is older, and originally meant a person who measured, I think from an older meaning of the verb mere. So it’s like baker or player, and in British you wouldn’t use re.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

ozduck
2019-Apr-27, 08:51 AM
Apparently it’s because in the UK you prefer to use original spellings of borrowed words and the unit of length was borrowed from French while the other meaning is older, and originally meant a person who measured, I think from an older meaning of the verb mere. So it’s like baker or player, and in British you wouldn’t use re.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks, I now see that the use of meter to measure is from 'Middle English' - from the verb mete. I still don't really see why the U.S. spells metre differently - especially when it has a very distinct meaning very different from the use of meter. Just one of those things I guess.

Jens
2019-Apr-27, 02:34 PM
Thanks, I now see that the use of meter to measure is from 'Middle English' - from the verb mete. I still don't really see why the U.S. spells metre differently - especially when it has a very distinct meaning very different from the use of meter. Just one of those things I guess.

The simple answer is that in the US we tend to spell borrowed words the way they are pronounced (the key here being "tend to", we don't do it consistently, but just more so than in Britain). I don't see why it is a particular problem, though. In both the UK and the US there are many, many words that we spell the same even though they have different meanings. The verb lead and the element lead, or bat as a hitting thing versus an animal. There are a very large number of homonyms in English and in general it is not bothersome because we judge from the concept. If in American we write that "the room is 12 square meters" it is perfectly clear that you mean a measurement and not that the room is composed of 12 parking meters or hydrometers or whatever). English is not a particularly consistent language in general, and if you think about it I don't think that Americans are particularly strange compared to Britons (and vice versa; I know an American who seems to think that Americans are quite logical whereas Britons are not, and I don't think that's the case at all either). We get by. :)

ozduck
2019-Apr-28, 03:15 AM
I don't particularly think Americans are that strange regarding spelling - in other ways perhaps :D. The idiosyncratic, to me anyway, spelling of some words doesn't really worry me and sometimes they do appear to make more sense. It must be more difficult living in Canada, as when we visited there the dissonance between using American or UK English spelling and meanings was obvious - without even mentioning the French language.

But for some reason the 'scientific' type words attract my attention but as you said "we get by". However, I have enough sense not to enter into a dispute about aluminium/aluminum.

The Backroad Astronomer
2019-Apr-28, 03:46 AM
I don't particularly think Americans are that strange regarding spelling - in other ways perhaps :D. The idiosyncratic, to me anyway, spelling of some words doesn't really worry me and sometimes they do appear to make more sense. It must be more difficult living in Canada, as when we visited there the dissonance between using American or UK English spelling and meanings was obvious - without even mentioning the French language.

But for some reason the 'scientific' type words attract my attention but as you said "we get by". However, I have enough sense not to enter into a dispute about aluminium/aluminum.
Tell me about it.

Jens
2019-Apr-28, 04:16 AM
But for some reason the 'scientific' type words attract my attention but as you said "we get by". However, I have enough sense not to enter into a dispute about aluminium/aluminum.

Honestly I don’t think there’s really anything to argue about anyway.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Solfe
2019-Apr-28, 04:20 AM
Of course here, and the UK, NZ etc, a meter stick is something you might use to hit a parking meter but we would use a metre stick to measure. I wonder if the spelling difference dates from the Webster Dictionary days or is more recent?

I'm a history major. I tend to use the spellings as I find them in research. Being on the Canadian border, I would have elected to spell it as "metre", but what I saw on the box was "meter". It's a pain in the butt, because sometimes I have to distinguish between conventional usage, my usage and what someone else has written. If I did it my way, it would be obvious that "sabre" and "metre" rhyme. :)

Trebuchet
2019-Apr-28, 02:23 PM
I liked a variant I saw some years ago. For all signs, it read: "this month, just like any other month, the relative position of randomly chosen distant starts has absolutely no influence on your life. Enjoy!"

It took me far too long to figure out you have a typo and that was meant to be "distant stars"!

KaiYeves
2019-Apr-28, 03:13 PM
I liked a variant I saw some years ago. For all signs, it read: "this month, just like any other month, the relative position of randomly chosen distant starts has absolutely no influence on your life. Enjoy!"

“Today the stars predict you’ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep.”

Nicolas
2019-Apr-28, 07:00 PM
You could also make a nice circular one where every sign reads "see [other sign]". Evil.

Lurking Nerd
2019-Apr-29, 06:25 PM
“Today the stars predict you’ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep.”

Ah, you're a Taurus.

Noclevername
2019-Apr-29, 08:20 PM
Ah, you're a Taurus.

I'm a Silverado.

The Backroad Astronomer
2019-Apr-29, 08:27 PM
I'm a Silverado.
I am an outlander.

Swift
2019-Apr-29, 08:31 PM
“Today the stars predict you’ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep.”

The Weird Al horoscope song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXRinzI9Jmc)

KaiYeves
2019-Apr-30, 03:08 AM
The Weird Al horoscope song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXRinzI9Jmc)

That’s what I was quoting, yes.

Noclevername
2019-Apr-30, 05:19 PM
I am an outlander.

Welcome!

slang
2019-May-01, 09:16 AM
Just when you think off-topic chatter dies off by itself... Everyone: please don’t turn this thread with a specific purpose into a general banter thread.

Roger E. Moore
2019-May-01, 11:59 AM
A chemist walks into a bar, periodically.

DonM435
2019-May-01, 12:39 PM
Sorry! I should have read that last one more carefully!

24161

Gigabyte
2019-May-01, 04:18 PM
The system won't let you have an entire post in caps Now there is a joke right there

Gigabyte
2019-May-01, 04:21 PM
nOT AllOWED --> 24163

The Backroad Astronomer
2019-May-01, 04:38 PM
A chemist walks into a bar, periodically.
He also goes to a baseball diamond frequently, just to touch base.

Swift
2019-May-17, 06:33 PM
Space tripping thread (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?172227-Space-Tripping)

The title makes me think of this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVNTNeNMH8Q).

Noclevername
2019-May-17, 11:47 PM
How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Thomas Edison was a member of the ILLUMINATI who use light bulb oscillations to hypnotize America!!! See my blog for detailed proof.

KaiYeves
2019-May-18, 01:14 AM
Space tripping thread (https://forum.cosmoquest.org/showthread.php?172227-Space-Tripping)

The title makes me think of this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVNTNeNMH8Q).

Star Trekkin', across the universe... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi3Xt3Yjk14)

The Backroad Astronomer
2019-May-18, 01:25 AM
Star Trekkin', across the universe... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi3Xt3Yjk14)
Know only if I learned how to email bomb from a couple hacker friends I used to know.

Noclevername
2019-May-23, 12:21 AM
A magnetic monopole walks into a bar...
...magnet.