View Full Version : How long single?

2012-Sep-10, 10:07 AM
I'm not married, and at this point in my life and the circumstances I'm dealing with, it seems unlikely that I will be.

Any other not-ly weds out there?

2012-Sep-10, 10:28 AM
I'm not married, but that doesn't mean I'm single.


2012-Sep-10, 10:32 AM
Never been married in the legal sense either and am not sure if I'm ever going to get into that. That said, I've been in a relationship that lasted longer than an average marriage hereabouts and am in the process of getting into a new one that looks like it might be long-term so I'm not single either.

2012-Sep-10, 11:04 AM
Well, by single I just meant not married, but I guess you both have a point-- there are degrees of singleness, from not dating at all to a relationship as committed as any marriage but not having a piece of paper.

2012-Sep-10, 11:18 AM
After living for about four years on my own, I must admit I have some trouble adjusting into living with another person again. I sorta got used to being "truly single" in that regard at least.

2012-Sep-10, 02:05 PM
34 years and counting as Single; without even a significant other, and I'm fine with that. Just my personality is such that I generally prefer to be alone, the thought of living with someone else isn't appealing to me.

2012-Sep-10, 04:21 PM
34 years and counting as Single; without even a significant other, and I'm fine with that. Just my personality is such that I generally prefer to be alone, the thought of living with someone else isn't appealing to me.
I am close to that category as well, divorced since 1974. I haven't dated anyone since 1981. My son does live with me and he has no desires to date at all just like me. That is the way some of us are cut out. It always seemed too embarrassing to date or be married.

2012-Sep-10, 06:49 PM
I've been single in a legal sense for thirty-five years, nearly thirty-six. (I start counting myself as "nearly" the next age right around my sisters' birthdays, which are yesterday and today.) I'd love to get married, but if we got married, I would lose my health insurance. The financial benefits of disability are helpful, especially since he quit his job and went back to school, but the loss of health insurance would be devastating.

2012-Sep-11, 05:55 AM
Got divorced in December 2000 and have been single ever since. I do have three kids, so technically I'm never alone.

Nowhere Man
2012-Sep-11, 11:00 PM


2012-Sep-12, 12:11 AM
I haven't dated since college. Given the social phobia and anxiety I suffer from, it takes a very long time for me to get comfortable around someone.

2012-Sep-12, 12:46 AM
I was single for 30 years -- exactly -- before commencing the current phase of my life, which has just past 34 years.

The Backroad Astronomer
2012-Sep-12, 03:52 PM
Given the social phobia and anxiety I suffer from, it takes a very long time for me to get comfortable around someone.

Basically same here. A couple of times I have found people I have been comfortable with but it worked out one I only saw a few times then she moved out of the building and the other was dating someone else then spent four months around a person who didn't like me while I was away. I have had few other offers but I never seem to really get along with them but they keep pushing or others around them keep pushing and it just gets on my nerves.

2012-Sep-12, 04:03 PM
As a married person of 19 years, heck -- if you're happy being single, that's a-okay. Some people don't want to be married, or it's simply not their cup of tea for whatever reason. Don't ever let *anyone* pressure you otherwise.

I enjoyed being single when I was. Remember early college days of some girls sitting around moping, wringing their hands in angst, literally *waiting* in the rec room for (alleged) Mr. Right to traipse past (who 9 times out of 10 flat-out ignored her).

I encouraged gal pals to come with me for a lakeside outing, go for ice cream, see a movie together. Nope. They wanted to sit around being miserable and self-conscious, waiting for The Right Man. :rolleyes:

Meanwhile I left them in the rec room, went out and had fun. If I had an occasional date, fine; if not, I didn't fret.

Despite enormous religious pressure to marry very young, I didn't. No regrets.

Some people are happier being single. More power to them. :)

2012-Sep-13, 12:06 AM
Single for 3 years, 2 months and 4 days, it would have been her birthday today.

Single fits me well, I'm a slob at home, plus I've realized that I get along with other rationally polyamorous people.
As in: there is no cheating when everyone follows mutually agreed on rules.
Having explicit rules that it's ok to talk about suits me quite well as I'm not very good at reading them when I'm supposed to guess from bodylanguage.

2012-Sep-13, 12:14 AM
I can talk to a group of women like they are old friends, but if I try to talk one-on-one I get all flubber-tongued and confused and end up babbling stuff I wouldn't even say to myself.

Ara Pacis
2012-Sep-13, 04:45 AM
I've always been single... I wasn't born twins.

2012-Sep-13, 10:49 AM
I've been divorced for about three years now. It's the best thing that ever happened to me.

ETA: to clarify, at the time it didn't seem a good thing to get divorced, but having gone through it and being single for a while again i've noticed that it suits me a lot better than being in a relationship.

2012-Sep-13, 10:55 AM
Getting married is the first step towards getting a divorce.

Nowhere Man
2012-Sep-14, 03:16 AM
Do you realize that the vast majority of marriages end in either divorce or (gasp!) death? It's not good for your health!

On the other hand, over the next 120 years, over seven billion people will die! Something must be done! Write your congresscritter today!


2012-Sep-14, 04:09 AM
Single, both legally and technically, my whole life. I do hope to find "Miss Right". I just need to get off my lazy bum. :p

That and work with my shyness/loner/social awkwardness triple combo. :o Thinking personal social issues will magically somehow go away in some sort of Hollywood/Disney fairy tale miracle, or trying to make it magically go away with "effort" is the wrong way to go about it. The vast majority of the time, social issues are something you're stuck with for life. The best one can do, is manage it, and/or work with it. If you need to bring in others to help you (family, friends, or yes, even psychologists *gasp*), then so be it.

So, yeah. Single, in every sense of the word. I try not to complain. :)

Ara Pacis
2012-Sep-14, 06:05 AM
Remember, you gotta be sure that the girl is pure for the funky cold medina.

2012-Oct-05, 01:25 AM
I'm still single and currently in a relationship but I don't see myself getting married too soon.

2012-Oct-05, 05:04 PM
I've been single for eight years.

I was engaged to a woman for about four years before that but it didn't end well and until I get a handle on my part of the reason for that I'm not going through something like that again.

2012-Oct-06, 05:00 PM
Never had a relationship last longer than three months, and a few weeks is more typical; the last one left deep marks. Though I hope I'm wrong, I'm starting to think that, like some others in this thread, I'm not cut out for relationships; as for marriage, that seems about as practical for me to think about as worry about the Earth spontaneously collapsing into a black hole.

Ara Pacis
2012-Oct-06, 09:03 PM
It's not us, it's just that we keep finding others who aren't cut out for relationships.

2012-Oct-11, 05:36 PM
never married, never in LTR...I would like to fall in love once but c'est la vie