PDA

View Full Version : Don't Know If I Need Couger's Or Gillian's Help On This One.



BigDon
2013-Jan-24, 05:27 PM
That is, if I need the help of a physicist or a wordsmith (Gillian doesn't like to be called an English teacher, even though she is one here.)

For you see, some people will argue anything and this is about the last time I was on fire.

Now I claim I was legitimately on fire but as I only suffered minimal personal thermal decomposition this time, my detractors are claiming this doesn't count. (Yes, I'm hanging out with Orcs again.)

In defense of my claim, my pants were ruined, with both legs looking like pirate pants afterwards, my jacket was ruined as the left sleeve and a lot of the back were burned through to the inner lining and I lost a swathe of hair on the left side. (It was really funny how that happened too, but I think I told that one here already.)

So to most of you readers, what qualifies as being on fire? And do you have to suffer personal injury? I would think not, myself.

profloater
2013-Jan-24, 05:34 PM
I may be first say if your clothes are on fire, then it's fair game to say you are on fire. Same would apply to hair on fire. The clothes you are wearing are part of you for those purposes after all if someone said :"I can see your clothes" and you happen to be wearing them, and you are not the invisible man, you would take it they were being funny, because that's what we usually see. the clothes and not the skin. Warming to this theme, if I was wet with petrol and someone lit it and quipped that actually to be accurate only the petrol is on fire, you are just hot, I would not be amused and I say they would be irritatingly pedantic and guilty of assault.

Perikles
2013-Jan-24, 05:57 PM
I think it would depend a little on how often you might have been on fire. If it were a weekly occurrence, then grade the event from 'almost on fire' to 'totally toasted'. If only once in a lifetime, then I would classify what you describe as 'on fire'. I think everybody should be on fire at least once in their life, so adjust the experiences so that just one qualifies.

As for myself, being left-handed I once used an angle-grinder the wrong way round, with the sparks going the wrong way, setting fire to trousers and underwear. I claimed I was on fire at the time, and still do.

Gillianren
2013-Jan-24, 06:02 PM
Don, for all of me, you may say you were on fire at the time. Your hair was on fire? That was, last I checked, part of you--unless you wear a wig and haven't told anyone. If your hair burned, it counts to any reasonable definition.

ABR.
2013-Jan-24, 06:08 PM
The fire started with the pants? Wow. You must have been telling a real whopper that day!

redshifter
2013-Jan-24, 06:34 PM
If your clothes were on fire, and you were wearing them at the time, I'd say that qualifies as being 'on fire'. Injuries or lack thereof is irrelevent. A counter for the local Orcs might be: If I actually 'wasn't on fire', that implies no immediate action needed to be taken to preserve life and limb, other than moving to a safe location. Not really possible with clothes on fire, I can't think of a 'safe' location to move to when your clothes are burning; unless your clothes caught fire right next to an automated car wash while in full spray mode. Or next to a waterfall.

IOW, if the fire caused you to stop, drop, n' roll, then you were on fire.

HenrikOlsen
2013-Jan-24, 07:51 PM
I can't speak for orcs, but in Dwarf Fortress (my gaming current obsession) it's entirely possible to have a dwarf who is on fire without any of his otherwise highly flammable clothes burning.
For some reason the documentation classifies this as Fun (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2012:Fun), and since that game is obviously inverted compared to real life (it also allows a pump to drive two waterwheels delivering 20 times more power than the pump needs to run), I'd say you were on fire.

Swift
2013-Jan-24, 08:27 PM
So to most of you readers, what qualifies as being on fire? And do you have to suffer personal injury? I would think not, myself.
I am neither a physicist nor a wordsmith, but I am a chemist and since fire is a chemical reaction, I am qualified to render an expert opinion. ;)

Anyway, I would say you were on fire, even if you suffered no damage to your body. Hair loss makes it even more so.

I would say the only way it would not be classified as "on fire" is if you did it as a stunt, using something like alcohol to do the trick of pretending you are on fire (I won't describe in detail, but kids, don't even think of trying it).

Swift
2013-Jan-24, 08:28 PM
The fire started with the pants? Wow. You must have been telling a real whopper that day!
Please, don't call call BD "liar, liar". :D

Cougar
2013-Jan-24, 08:35 PM
Now I claim I was legitimately on fire....

I would say so! Sounds like you ran into some Fire Demons – small, cat-like creatures, fond of arson, and able to spit “demonfire” - a supernatural form of napalm.

Fire Demons are just one type of the many corelings that live by day in the Earth’s core and rise to the planet’s surface each night to feed. You need to visit The Warded Man. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Painted_Man)

DonM435
2013-Jan-24, 09:16 PM
I remember that Richard Pryor -- who had experience along that line -- noted: "When you're on fire ... people get out of your way!"

John Mendenhall
2013-Jan-24, 10:13 PM
Big D, "the last time"? How often do you catch on fire?

Glad to have you back. Certainly has been dull here w/o you.

Regards, John M.

swampyankee
2013-Jan-24, 11:12 PM
Don,

You were on fire. Back when I was a member of the EAA, a builder wrote an article about building his airplane (Brokaw BJ-520, a very hot little number). He sat on a paint roller full of an epoxy paint he was using for sealing his gas tanks. The epoxy burst into flame, setting his pants on fire. Clearly, he stripped, giving his neighbors a bit of entertainment.

He also could not sit down for a while. Yes, he had third degree burns on his butt.

Solfe
2013-Jan-24, 11:25 PM
There are levels... :)

BigDon
2013-Jan-25, 08:59 PM
Cougar, one sorry for misspelling your name in the title, and two, I was actually extinguishing fine art owned by a prominate poet given to him by said named artists personally. I had spent the last 18 hours packing it for travel the next day. and just as we were leaving after a hard days work...

Picture a room the size of a good sized livingroom, (because it was), completely full of packed and crated paintings and framed prints, every single item an "item of unusual worth" which in moving jargon means its individually insured for more than $10,000 and right in the middle of the room a column of smoke comes up.

Not one single painting was damaged and the insurance adjusters went over everything!

Unfortunately for me a crew cab pick-up truck full of my younger co-workers had arrived just as I'm getting the last of the fire out, to scope out the next days work ahead of time and to see if anything needed arranging to make the move smoother

And the first thing I say after I caught my breath was;

"What are you lookin' at?"

I had just slapped out my legs and was taking off my jacket so I could stomp it out and my friend Pete, who knew me the longest of the youngest there, having worked with me in another company said:

"Ummmm, we just never seen anybody who was on fire who was laughing before."

Really quiet, like he didn't want to give offense.

I was laughing because I was thinking of Indian Jones and The Temple Of Doom when Indie's pants are on fire.

and I was absolutely not panicked because I had been in much, much worse situations than a simple garment fire.

Solfe, I've gone from lightly toasted on all sides, smoked, mono'ed (Carbon monoxide has an affinity for you, but is not your friend) all the way to "my own body fat running down my legs". That last bit is horribly sticky and difficult to wash off once it resets, so I don't recommend it. At all.

And then there was the military stuff! Even after several decks of cooling and expanding, escaped engineering steam is absolutely no joke.

It's all the knuckleheads that recall that particular manuever that are giving me the most grief. I think that one rated between 25 and 30 percent.

Oh dear, there is a commotion outside. I'll be right back.

Oh what is this!? It seems that every eighteen months or so I have to post about a naked crazyman. Yeah, this one is out walking on the double yellow out front and already has "professional assistance".

Nobody wants to tackle him yet and they're still in the discourse phase. Ten bucks says he makes a run for it.

BigDon
2013-Jan-25, 09:12 PM
While I pity the mentally ill, this is just some knucklehead who let his weekend pharmacopial getaway peak way too early.

And now his naked butt is in handcuffs and he's hopping on one foot as a policeman has the other and one of his shoulders. Right before they stuffed him in a paddywagon that just happened to be rolling on by.

and now I feel sorry for the two guys already in said paddywagon. They both looked freaking thrilled at their new friend.

There is a lesson to be learned here people.

This man's bad weekend has only started.

Ara Pacis
2013-Jan-25, 09:14 PM
I was reminded of the part in the Hobbit (RB version) where Bilbo, after his run-in with Smaug, starts running around in a circle yelling, "Someone extinguish me!"

Tog
2013-Jan-25, 09:18 PM
I'm not a physicist, chemist, or English expert, but by my definition, if you, or anything on your body was providing the fuel for the fire, then you were on fire. The exception being doused in something like rubbing alcohol as mentioned above.

One night we were coming back form a movie when the car in front of us tossed a firework out of their sunroof. It took a bad hop and landed in a vacant field full of dry weeds. I pulled over and started to stomp it out while the GF looked for anything with liquid in it in the car. By the time I was done, the patch of scorched ground was about 6 feet in diameter. I was wearing shorts and lost most of the hair on my right leg below the knee. I don't consider myself on fire because the fire wouldn't have followed me if I moved out of the heated area. I wasn't the fuel. She did comment that car smelled like campfire a few minutes later, then realized it was me.

About your naked guy, we had a local get all methed up and go on a rampage a few months back. He broke into one house and assaulted two homeowners with a hammer. There were no injuries. He fled to a second house, where he couldn't break through the door, so he moved to a third. Police caught up to him when he climbed up on the roof. He took three hits from beanbag rounds and a Tazer, but they couldn't get him down. Finally they sprayed him down with a garden hose and waited for the wind chill to suck the fun out of it.

Oh, You should open a window and blast the Benny Hill Theme if he runs.

BigDon
2013-Jan-25, 09:36 PM
Tog, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

If only I had read this earlier. I have techno devices I could have brought it much closer to the action.

and don't think I wouldn't have.

Solfe
2013-Jan-25, 11:49 PM
The "I'm not on fire" story:

When I was a child, Mr. Wizard was new on Nickelodeon. One of his demonstrations was to place gasoline in a glass bottle and drop a match in. The point was that gasoline fumes are heavy than the air and will not leave the bottle.

I had to try it. I found large glass pop bottle in the garage but I couldn't find any gasoline. But all was not lost, I found a full container of charcoal lighter fluid. I vigorously shook the bottle then sprayed it into the glass bottle; I filled up the glass bottle half way. I set the bottle down to light a wooden match. I picked the bottle up and dropped the match in.

This white smoke ROARED out of the bottle and struck me in the face. I immediately tried to drop the bottle, but my fingers were already burned to the neck. I managed to flick the bottle out of my hand losing some skin. That smoke was more like rocket exhaust than smoke (and that roar still haunts me). I stumbled into the house and discovered I had no eye lashes, eye brows or hair on the front of my head.

I hid for about three hours before my parents discover my misadventures. I was unable to escape dinner, and finally admitted that "nothing special had happened, today" and that "I didn't know" where my hair went.

The aforementioned hair issues allowed me to hide my fingers for about three days, at which time it was discovered that there was little that could be done. After a year or so, my fingerprints regrew and I do have a lot of mobility but the fingers are still really stiff 30 some years after the fact.

As cool as Bill Nye is, he never taught lessons like Mr. Wizard.

Tog
2013-Jan-26, 07:16 AM
I work with a very nice, but rather reserved, woman who is about 15 years older than I am. We sometimes tell stories of our childhood. One day she said, "I'm amazed boys live."

Mr. Wizard taught me how to make a trip-flare out of a paint can and some baking flour. That might not have been his intent, but that's what I took away from the show.

profloater
2013-Jan-26, 09:07 AM
The "I'm not on fire" story:

When I was a child, Mr. Wizard was new on Nickelodeon. One of his demonstrations was to place gasoline in a glass bottle and drop a match in. The point was that gasoline fumes are heavy than the air and will not leave the bottle.

I had to try it. I found large glass pop bottle in the garage but I couldn't find any gasoline. But all was not lost, I found a full container of charcoal lighter fluid. I vigorously shook the bottle then sprayed it into the glass bottle; I filled up the glass bottle half way. I set the bottle down to light a wooden match. I picked the bottle up and dropped the match in.

This white smoke ROARED out of the bottle and struck me in the face. I immediately tried to drop the bottle, but my fingers were already burned to the neck. I managed to flick the bottle out of my hand losing some skin. That smoke was more like rocket exhaust than smoke (and that roar still haunts me). I stumbled into the house and discovered I had no eye lashes, eye brows or hair on the front of my head.

I hid for about three hours before my parents discover my misadventures. I was unable to escape dinner, and finally admitted that "nothing special had happened, today" and that "I didn't know" where my hair went.

The aforementioned hair issues allowed me to hide my fingers for about three days, at which time it was discovered that there was little that could be done. After a year or so, my fingerprints regrew and I do have a lot of mobility but the fingers are still really stiff 30 some years after the fact.

As cool as Bill Nye is, he never taught lessons like Mr. Wizard.
You remind me of a school incident. It was the son of a vicar who showed me his garden well and hif favourite trick. He poured a gallon of petrol down the well, which was about a two second stone drop well, and then after a short wait, a lighted rage which despite Galileo took about ten seconds to descend. Wow, the there was a roar like an angry monster down that well and we were looking down when the blast came up. I guess it was akin to watching a mayor rocket ignite close to only upside down of course. The blast lasted for a long time and was a tube of flame. The first hot rush had forced us back so no injuries. I don't know why the son of a vicar bit is relevant but it impressed me.

DonM435
2013-Jan-26, 03:27 PM
The "I'm not on fire" story:

When I was a child, Mr. Wizard was new on Nickelodeon. One of his demonstrations was to place gasoline in a glass bottle and drop a match in. The point was that gasoline fumes are heavy than the air and will not leave the bottle.
...


I thought they always warned "Kids: Don't try this at home!"

I have vague memories of the original Mister Wizard shows, and as I recall, he was always making a shambles of his workshop.

DonM435
2013-Jan-26, 03:29 PM
You remind me of a school incident. It was the son of a vicar who showed me his garden well and hif favourite trick. He poured a gallon of petrol down the well, which was about a two second stone drop well, and then after a short wait, a lighted rage which despite Galileo took about ten seconds to descend. Wow, the there was a roar like an angry monster down that well and we were looking down when the blast came up. I guess it was akin to watching a mayor rocket ignite close to only upside down of course. The blast lasted for a long time and was a tube of flame. The first hot rush had forced us back so no injuries. I don't know why the son of a vicar bit is relevant but it impressed me.

"Son of a Vicar!" is probably the expression evoked by the trick. Or something phonetically close to that.

Solfe
2013-Jan-26, 04:54 PM
I thought they always warned "Kids: Don't try this at home!"

I have vague memories of the original Mister Wizard shows, and as I recall, he was always making a shambles of his workshop.

By the 80's, Mr. Wizard didn't trash is studio as much.

In the late 80's, some kids at my high school closed a hood and filled it with natural gas. Either, they ignited it on purpose or it was accidental ignition. The resulting blast was big and dangerous and resulted in a lot of that class being suspended. The police and fire department investigated as it took some doing to seal up the hood.

On a funnier note, in my college chem class a student hooked a bunsen burner to a water tap and turned it on. The image of her sitting there with one hand on the tap and a lighter in the other hand is classic befuddlement.

Gillianren
2013-Jan-26, 06:06 PM
I thought they always warned "Kids: Don't try this at home!"

Yes, and kids have always paid such close attention to that warning.

Solfe
2013-Jan-26, 06:15 PM
For some reason, I hear that as "Kids, don't try this at your home."

Moose
2013-Jan-26, 07:14 PM
I'm not a physicist, chemist, or English expert, but by my definition, if you, or anything on your body was providing the fuel for the fire, then you were on fire. The exception being doused in something like rubbing alcohol as mentioned above.

I'd argue that still counts. If you move, and the fire follows, you're on fire.

Tog
2013-Jan-26, 07:14 PM
I followed the warning. I didn't do it at home. I was outside.

Tog
2013-Jan-26, 07:17 PM
I'd argue that still counts. If you move, and the fire follows, you're on fire.

I thought about this later, and came to that same conclusion. A person doused with gasoline is on fire. Napalm = on fire. Cooking grease = on fire. Why would rubbing alcohol be any different, apart from the more controlled aspect of it?

DonM435
2013-Jan-27, 02:48 AM
...

On a funnier note, in my college chem class a student hooked a bunsen burner to a water tap and turned it on. The image of her sitting there with one hand on the tap and a lighter in the other hand is classic befuddlement.

Heck, when I began work in a research lab at my university, the first time I attached a Bunsen burner and turned things on, the rubber hose blew right off the connection, leaving me startled and puzzled. The veteran students had switched the "air" and "gas" button-labels on me as an initiation rite. That was pretty mild -- they might have connected me to the water.

BigDon
2013-Jan-27, 04:48 AM
Our chemistry teacher in high school let us have all the leftover ground rubber, aluminum filings and sulfer from a class experiment that was disrupted by a fire drill. (there was five of us who volunteered to clean up and put away all the stations during lunch.)

A cone-shaped little pile of that mixture no more than six inchs tall and as broad at the base set the ceiling tiles on fire in a circle about four feet across. And this classroom had high ceilings!

Didn't even phase the chemistry teacher. He was a member of the last damage control team to leave the USS Hornet And he just squirted it with a big CO2 extinguisher. He had a full sized five foot tall CO2 bottle with a nozzle attached that he moved with a handtruck.

Sort of like he knew what he was doing...

My friends and I weren't nearly so nonchalant.

It took us an hour to get that look off our faces.

Trebuchet
2013-Jan-27, 04:44 PM
My ninth grade general science teacher set the classroom on fire at least twice that I can recall. In one incident he was trying to show us how white phosphorous would spontaneously combust. He set it on a screen on a ringstand (if that's what you call that thing) but it was taking its time, glowing and smoking a bit but not generating any flames. So he hit it with the blowtorch. Whoosh! He watched it for a moment then casually walked over and got the extinguisher.

Now that I'm recalling this, what the heck was WP doing in a Junior High classroom in the first place? At least it provided me with what is now, 50 years later, a fond memory. That guy was probably the coolest teacher I ever had.

BigDon
2013-Jan-27, 05:19 PM
That was in 10th grade. When I was a senior, (12th grade) a regional inspector came and sat in on the class and then noticed the scorch mark, which was still there. He asked a couple of questions then got the principal and started grilling him about it, asking him questions he couldn't possible know and even a pack of callow high schoolers could see that the inspector was setting up Mr. O'Conner for some sort of screw job. Did I mention that was the very year Animal House came out?

and it was one of the hard cases in the back row who started it. Only there because he needed the class to play football and Mr. O'Conner was sympathetic and helped him out.

Only he couldn't quite remember the line from the trial scene correctly so he just stood up and yelled;

"Hey, *bleep* you!"

There was a shocked silence. (Oooh, way to ad-lib...)

One of his team mates sitting beside him said something I didn't catch and he said back:

"What! I'm failing anyway!"

Still, this broke the ice and most of the class leaped to the teacher's defense. The principal looked PO'ed that this even happened in front of the class and took the Inspector and the the teacher to his office.

and other than new ceiling tiles we didn't see much of a change afterwards.

DonM435
2013-Jan-27, 09:20 PM
Yes, and kids have always paid such close attention to that warning.

Yes, [sigh]. I'll bet that most kids hear "Don't try this at home!" and think "Just wait'll I get home -- I gotta try that!"