PDA

View Full Version : No more alcohol.



NorthernDevo
2013-Mar-05, 04:04 AM
Hi folks - I think it's time I opened up about something a little bit. I've got a few problems in my life right now; and the main one is alcohol. To be completely honest; I'm an alcoholic. I've no idea how that happened; I don't know when recreational drinking turned into these nightly solo sessions but I've had enough. I don't even get drunk any more; just sick. My reasons for changing my name on this forum were partly practical, but also partly because I want to start fresh; to turn over a new leaf and find someone else under there - someone I haven't seen for a few years. To be honest, I don't like myself much right now. So I'm starting tonight.
Last night's mickey of rye really wiped me out. Just a mickey but I had chills, the sweats, nausea, the whole works without even the uephoria of drunkenness as a positive. I've got one more sitting in the freezer but I can't even look at it right now without retching so I think this is a good time. From now on: no more alcohol.
Oh no question, this is going to be ugly; I've no illusions about what's ahead - I've seen too many people have to make this fight, and far too many lose. Death by alcohol is a real bad way to go.
So I drank that mickey at midnight last night; it's now 9:00 so that's 21 hours down already. Went and looked at the mickey in the freezer - it looks revolting; no desire at all to drink it. Looks like it might be a good start. I'll keep you posted.

danscope
2013-Mar-05, 04:47 AM
Hi, I don't know if it helps, but for me,I always remember that...." You don't have to drink to do things."
And the other one is that " Drinking is not a competition " . These are truisms and serve me well.
Good luck, and best regards,
Dan

Gillianren
2013-Mar-05, 05:32 AM
Best of luck. Fighting addiction is hard, even if the addiction stops being fun. I hope you find the person you want to be on the other side.

Jens
2013-Mar-05, 06:25 AM
Last night's mickey of rye really wiped me out. Just a mickey but I had chills, the sweats, nausea, the whole works without even the uephoria of drunkenness as a positive.

I may be wrong about this, but "just a mickey" sounds wrong to me. I'm not from the UK, but isn't that a 375-ml bottle of whiskey? If it's 30% alcohol, then that's like drinking two bottles of wine. That would wipe me out pretty good too. Well, best of luck. Also, I don't know how much you usually drink, but you might experience some severe withdrawal symptoms from stopping suddenly.

Heid the Ba'
2013-Mar-05, 08:51 AM
If it is a half bottle of whisk(e)y then it is likely 40% proof and has about 15 units in it, the same as a bottle and a half of wine.

Good luck NorthernDevo.

geonuc
2013-Mar-05, 08:56 AM
I don't know, but don't you think it would be a good idea to get all the alcohol out of your house?

Noclevername
2013-Mar-05, 10:05 AM
I wish you success.

NorthernDevo
2013-Mar-05, 12:22 PM
OK - 5 in the morning; didn't sleep much, maybe two hours. Gotta get ready for work. Still shaking a bit; not sweating but that'll hit once I hit the heat of work; I expect. Quite a headache. I have time for a few answers:
First, thanks for your support; I'm going to count on it.

I may be wrong about this, but "just a mickey" sounds wrong to me. I'm not from the UK, but isn't that a 375-ml bottle of whiskey? If it's 30% alcohol, then that's like drinking two bottles of wine. That would wipe me out pretty good too. Well, best of luck. Also, I don't know how much you usually drink, but you might experience some severe withdrawal symptoms from stopping suddenly.
The difference between a drinker and an alcoholic, Jens. For accuracy, you are correct: a mickey of Alberta Premium is 375ml at 40%. I didn't mention that since Friday I'd also put down 2 26-ers, another mickey and a 40-pounder (750ml and 1.14ml.) That's more than enough to kill a person unless he's become so accustomed to it his body can survive it.


I don't know, but don't you think it would be a good idea to get all the alcohol out of your house?
For some, Geonuc. For me; I'm a fighter by history and inclination. I need an enemy to face. So until the day when I can look at this remaining mickey with equanimity and throw it out without effort it'll stay there; a nemesis to face down.

Cougar
2013-Mar-05, 02:00 PM
I used to drink pretty regularly. Well, I was a dart shooter. Darts are played in bars. (There's a very fine line between enough drink to be relaxed and too much to throw accurately.) Anyway, I finally had enough of the hangovers. I stopped drinking. Fortunately, it wasn't that big a deal. Best of luck, Devo.

blueshift
2013-Mar-05, 02:27 PM
Good luck Devo. My step son appears to be dying from it. His brain is extremely affected and his behavior is to a point that all of his relatives are at odds with him. He has been on and off the wagon several times but I can't see him living much longer. Whenever he got really tanked in the past he would call me at odd hours of the morning and ask me if I will take him back to a lake in northern Wisconsin like I did when he and my son were just tykes. It was the one good memory he had of his past and a place where he felt peace of mind. Now he just hurls life threats at his mother and has been getting physical with her, starts fights with anyone over the smallest of things. Super paranoia has overcome him. She had him arrested for battery and domestic abuse. Now she has post traumatic stress disorder.

Let that be a warning Devo. Tackle it now and strangle it to death before it kills you and others around you.

KaiYeves
2013-Mar-05, 06:11 PM
Good luck, Devo.

Buttercup
2013-Mar-05, 06:19 PM
I wish you the best in this.

I have no personal experience with alcoholism, so am understandably limited in what advice I can offer, but can give this: Get with a support group; local AA chapter or the like. Don't try and go it alone. And avoid temptation, including "old haunts and friends therein."

Romanus
2013-Mar-05, 07:51 PM
Best of luck to you, NorthernDevo.

NorthernDevo
2013-Mar-06, 02:27 AM
OK - two days gone; if my body's following the schedule it seems to have done in the past; I should be hitting the DT's by tomorrow. Been through THAT before; I know I'm susceptible to the DT's. I also know I'm susceptible to food rejection and severe nausea - what stopped my last attempt - so I've stocked up on raw spinach which my stomach seems to accept, Mr. Noodles and beef bouillon.
Sweated heavily all through work today unrelated to my workload which was very light; accompanied by shaking hands and serious fatigue - not surprising since I've had maybe 2 hours sleep in the last three days. Headache remains; I've drunk litres of water and Powerade; haven't broke out the Aspirin yet; want to keep off the pills as long as possible. Lots of Spruce trees in the river valley, think I'll collect a bag of needles to make tea for the natural salacin. I've had myself taken off my Rollman position (a technical job) and placed on Baler status (an entry-level, basic labour position). My sups know why and wholly support the move; though they express disappointment at losing their best Rollman by far for 2 weeks.
Very bad news: February is usually our slowdown month; this year it turns out to be March so I was let go early today and have tomorrow off (paid). Normally a day off with pay would be great but I'm gonna need to work and work hard to power through what's coming up. But with all six presses shut down there's simply nothing for me to do, hence the free day off. So nothing to distract me if and when I start seeing the weird stuff in my head and like I said, I know I'm prone to it.
Looks like I'm on the bobsled and it's running free - time to just hang on, I guess.

Swift
2013-Mar-06, 04:18 AM
The Moderation team is becoming concerned about the adult nature of this, and a couple of other threads currently in OTB. It shows a good sense of community that people feel open to share and ask for help, but we are wondering if the frank nature of some of this is appropriate for the entire community (like kids). For example, Rule 3 states:

Same goes with adult topics -- talk about them somewhere else. If you do need to post something risqué, stick with arcane scientific terminology.
For the moment, we are going to close this thread while we discuss this. If you wish to continue your conversation with the OP in the meanwhile, please do so by PM. Thanks,