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NorthernDevo
2013-Mar-07, 04:20 AM
OK - I know that I'm filled with rage at the moment, I know I'm hurting, desperate and very vulnerable.
I have quit drinking and am going through alcohol withdrawal. I am an alcoholic. A week from now I will be able to say I was an alcoholic, but right now I'm in Satan's grip and he's doing everything he can to break my will. I WILL NOT GIVE IN.

I have the shakes, the chills, the DT's, the nightmares, the invisible spiders. I have everything. But I'm on top of it. I'm going to beat this. Even if I win, I have only two or three decades left to me. I am a man just shy of fifty years; my life and lifestyle have determined that I won't see eighty, no matter how well I live my life from now on. I was a soldier; a peacekeeper. Specifically, I was a Section Commander (Sergeant) of Assault Pioneers, Second Battalion Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry, during the Bosnian War. Only four of my Section from that time remain alive today; the others died in Afghanistan, or from alcohol and drugs; one died in a car accident. One struggles to form a foundation for Military amputees - he lost both legs in Hydrabad. Section 45B is gone - the best soldiers that ever laced on armour in the modern world are dead. Despite what you might think I accept that. We did what we could. Death or injury was nothing to us then, in our twenties. I freely gave up my youth and health to defend others; and in our day we saved many. In my soldier's mind; it is an acceptable bargain. Whatever few years I have left, I want those years to be ones of peace; ones in which I can enjoy life.

Based on prior knowledge and experience, I think I have another week to go before the fevers break and I can eat solid food again. I was chronicling my progress on this and another forum.

Sadly, the moderators of this forum have decided that my journey is too 'adult' to continue to be posted. I will not argue or protest their decision. They are after all moderators and hold the final card in any argument. They have closed the post. I am filled with rage and regret at this decision; much of the rage due to my extreme psychological vulnerability at this moment, but I will NOT challenge their decision.

I will instead leave. If a man fighting addiction and begging for friends to support him is too 'adult' for this forum; then this is a forum I want no part of. I will retire now, and fight my battle on my own.

This is a great forum for science, technology and interesting debate. I will miss it greatly.

NorthernDevo signing off permanently. You will not hear from me again.

Cougar
2013-Mar-08, 03:10 PM
This is a great forum for science, technology and interesting debate.

Right. But it's not exactly here for support of withdrawing addicts. I'm sure there are other sites that would fit that bill. From your other thread, you know we all support you and wish you the best.

Heid the Ba'
2013-Mar-08, 03:33 PM
Without wishing to rehash the "Adult issues clarification" thread there is an open thread on the first page of this sub-forum whose OP contains:

"I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I went through heck as a kid because of my then-undiagnosed disorders. It was like being on an alien planet, people just did things and I didn't understand why. I had no idea why they kept calling me "weird" or treating me so badly, or that the things I were doing were not what I was "supposed" to do. Confusion, frustration, and fear ruled my life for far too many years. I would do anything to protect Jacob from going through the nightmare that was most of my childhood. This bad news is bringing up all the negative emotions that I had thought were behind me."

This and plenty of other threads appealing for help and emotional support weren't closed.

Buttercup
2013-Mar-08, 04:26 PM
:(

I'll keep you in my best thoughts and wishes.

starcanuck64
2013-Mar-08, 09:14 PM
Without wishing to rehash the "Adult issues clarification" thread there is an open thread on the first page of this sub-forum whose OP contains:

"I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I went through heck as a kid because of my then-undiagnosed disorders. It was like being on an alien planet, people just did things and I didn't understand why. I had no idea why they kept calling me "weird" or treating me so badly, or that the things I were doing were not what I was "supposed" to do. Confusion, frustration, and fear ruled my life for far too many years. I would do anything to protect Jacob from going through the nightmare that was most of my childhood. This bad news is bringing up all the negative emotions that I had thought were behind me."

This and plenty of other threads appealing for help and emotional support weren't closed.

I don't see the potential of Noclevername's experience going into very the serious territory that dealing with war related PTSD on an online forum would.

Opening up a can of worms(not to be insensitive, as someone who spent years dealing with Acute PTSD I get what a hell it can be) like that here probably isn't going to resolve anything for the sufferer but it's going to blow a very large hole in the comfort zone of many other members. Some of them may be children.

Is that fair?

The moderators have a very tough task once again in balancing the overall needs of the forum with basic human compassion, I don't envy them.

Also best wishes to NorthernDevo, in my opinion we don't do enough in Canada to provide the professional help for people in his position.

Gillianren
2013-Mar-08, 09:32 PM
We don't in the US, either. In my opinion, one of the true advantages of these threads is the opportunity to share what knowledge we have of how to get help when it isn't freely available. It also may not resolve anything, but I do maintain that knowing you're not alone is in and of itself helpful. My comfort zone is damaged by the idea that we should just keep quiet about these problems and not have the support of our online friends. I'm always available by PM--and several people have already taken advantage of that--but knowing that other people care about what you're going through means a lot.

starcanuck64
2013-Mar-08, 09:47 PM
We don't in the US, either. In my opinion, one of the true advantages of these threads is the opportunity to share what knowledge we have of how to get help when it isn't freely available. It also may not resolve anything, but I do maintain that knowing you're not alone is in and of itself helpful. My comfort zone is damaged by the idea that we should just keep quiet about these problems and not have the support of our online friends. I'm always available by PM--and several people have already taken advantage of that--but knowing that other people care about what you're going through means a lot.

I have no problem discussing therapy and health and mental health issues here and I also think it can be an important source of information for people. But this isn't a format for active therapy and with my experience with PTSD and other mental health issues, it causes more than a little concern when I see people actually trying to do that. Mental health professionals in theory are very well trained and should be capable of dealing with these issues. People coming to this forum to share general information about their lives and interests probably aren't.