PDA

View Full Version : Stupid Questions



Pages : [1] 2 3

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 01:19 PM
I have decided that we do not have enough unlimited threads so i thought i would start another one. But this one is pure fun along the lines of a Question and answer session.

So here are the rules:
All posts are questions and answers (except for the first of course). The person would answer the person above them and then ask his/her own question. The emphasis for each question is to make them silly/stupid, just plain fun basicaly. Ex: What type of Ice Cream does a gorilla prefer? or What color is the hair on a Alien?. The question should have no single answer but able to be answered in multiple ways by the imagination of the next poster.

No need to wait for a reply since there is no correct answer.

So here is an example:
-------------------------------------------------------------
A: What does the Rabbit say to the fox?
-------------------------------------------------------------
B: A: Oh crap.....

Whan a turtle suns itself, is it looking to get a even tan?
-------------------------------------------------------------
A: A: No, but it does have a nasty Bikini tan from spring break.
.
.
.
.


You get the idea...

Now lets start:

Why do aliens land in wheat fields?



[usual]

Wally
2004-Nov-17, 01:59 PM
A: They like the way it tickles their undersides!



Q: What color underwear does Superman wear??

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 02:04 PM
A: Hot Pink. Its a comfort thing.



If buildings could talk, what would they say?

kucharek
2004-Nov-17, 02:10 PM
A: I feel like a ton of bricks

Q: When a sausage drops into an open grave while strolling, what will it say?

NASA Fan
2004-Nov-17, 02:11 PM
aaaaaarrrrrrrgh help me.



Why is a blanket called a blanket? (Ok I have no imagination for a new question)

(Edited because I was too late for the last post)

Fram
2004-Nov-17, 02:21 PM
Because the rose had already taken 'the rose'.

When will the sun become fashionable again?

kucharek
2004-Nov-17, 02:25 PM
A: When it turned from a tabloid into a newspaper.

Q: What should be my next question?

Ut
2004-Nov-17, 02:27 PM
A: What's this lump on my neck?

Q: Why did the penguin cross the road?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-17, 02:29 PM
A. There was a wedding, and he was already dressed up.

Q. How many fingers does the imagination have?

Fram
2004-Nov-17, 02:33 PM
One. The finger of the imagination is the middle finger of 'it's MY imagination' and the thumb of ...
TWO. Two fingers. The two fingers of the imagination are the middle finger of 'it's MY imagination' and the thumb of 'good one' and the pinky of ...
THREE. Three. Three fingers. The three fingers of the imagination are ... (ad nauseam)

Q. Why 42?

Ut
2004-Nov-17, 02:34 PM
A: 38 was busy that night.

Q: What's up with Yaks?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-17, 02:35 PM
A. They talk waaaaaay to much. Always, well, yak-ing.

Q. How does the alphabet sound?

Fram
2004-Nov-17, 02:36 PM
A. Easy

Q. What's next?

Ut
2004-Nov-17, 02:37 PM
A: Ice cream social!

B: What's this thing on my leg?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 02:39 PM
A: A foot

Q: Whats the deal with that guy on campus?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-17, 02:44 PM
A. I know!! He's always stealing people's toothbrushes! Get a life!

Q. Have you heard the one about the Irishman and the kangaroo?

SeanF
2004-Nov-17, 02:46 PM
A: Yes.

Q: Why is the square of the hypotenuse equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides?

Moose
2004-Nov-17, 02:57 PM
A. 'Cause Pythagoras said so, young man. Go to your room.

Q. [pointing to a couple of the more famous photos of Pete Conrad by Al Bean I've printed and have hanging on my cube wall right now]: Were those taken by your digital camera as well?


Yes, this was actually asked to me by a co-worker about twenty minutes ago. He pled insanity.

iFire
2004-Nov-17, 03:00 PM
Yes, for I are pant.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Ut
2004-Nov-17, 03:06 PM
A: He wanted to meet the penguin half way.

Q: Where are my pants?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 03:13 PM
A: You don't want to know. But it deals with a Clown, a Penguin, and a lot of beer.

Q: Why does My finance professor like to punish us so much?

Ut
2004-Nov-17, 03:15 PM
A: He was once bitten by a ravenous raven.

Q: What in the name of sweet merciful crap is that?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 03:18 PM
A: That my friend, is my sister.

Q: :x <---When would you ever use this emoticon?

Wally
2004-Nov-17, 03:20 PM
A: when making a "movement"

Q: why does it hurt to do "this" to myself???

pghnative
2004-Nov-17, 03:26 PM
A: because you're not eating enough fiber

Q: how much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

Glom
2004-Nov-17, 03:32 PM
A: Depends on the deal between John Prescott and the unions.

Q: What does this red button do?

frogesque
2004-Nov-17, 03:34 PM
KABOOOM

How do you teach mathematics?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-17, 04:04 PM
A: Mathematics cannot be taught. It has far too short of an attention span.

Q: Does this question have an answer?

Ut
2004-Nov-17, 04:11 PM
A: I don't know.

Q: What do you get when you cross a jackalope with a efelant?

Glom
2004-Nov-17, 04:13 PM
A: jackalopefelant obviously!

Q: Did the chicken cross the road using the zebra crossing?

wackywizjr
2004-Nov-17, 04:24 PM
No. he walked on his own two feet.

If a snake in the grass is an Asp, why is a grasp in the... 8-[

Why is there a mirror above my cubicle?

Tranquility
2004-Nov-17, 04:53 PM
So you can look at the hot blonde in the cubicle behind you

Are elephants afraid of mice?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 04:55 PM
A: No, but then again without hands they really cant use them or a keyboard.

Q: Why does my dog always stare out the window?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-17, 05:00 PM
A: Because the wall isn't nearly as entertaining.

Q: Is it true what they say about green M&Ms?

Tranquility
2004-Nov-17, 05:03 PM
A. Yes, they are, in fact, green M&Ms.

Q. If homo sapiens, were in fact, homo sapiens, is that why they're extinct?

dvb
2004-Nov-17, 05:08 PM
A: homo sapiens became extinct due to the magnetic pole shift. That's common knowledge. ;)

Q: How much does a ton of feathers weigh?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 05:08 PM
A: alot

Q: What does this remote controll?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-17, 05:19 PM
A: Hey!! Stop that!! :evil:

Q: Now, what was I doing?

wackywizjr
2004-Nov-17, 05:25 PM
Trying to stop humphrey from taking over the world.

Why do ducks swim when they can fly?

pghnative
2004-Nov-17, 05:41 PM
Because of the long lines at airport security.

Why did Adam eat the apple?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 06:18 PM
A: Because Eve stole his Pizza

Q: Why do your relatives insist on being with you even thoguh they are abysmally anoying?

Moose
2004-Nov-17, 06:24 PM
A. Because they are abysmally annoying. That's what abysmally annoying people do.

Q. *tap tap* Hey, is this thing on?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-17, 06:50 PM
A. I'm getting a lot of feedback. Stop yelling.

Q. Do you keep writing B instead of Q on this thing?

pghnative
2004-Nov-17, 06:52 PM
A: No, it fell off

Q: Why do Dwarfs whistle while they work?

Moose
2004-Nov-17, 06:56 PM
A. Because they don't know the words.

B. So how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Glom
2004-Nov-17, 06:57 PM
A: No. They don't work. They just eat curries.

Q: What do I feel like tonight?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-17, 06:58 PM
A. Fried chicken. Yummy.

Q. Is there love in space?

pghnative
2004-Nov-17, 07:03 PM
A: No -- you can find "apes", "caps" and "pace" in space, but not love.

Q: What is floating in my soup?

Tranquility
2004-Nov-17, 07:40 PM
A. The letter B.

Q. What's that green glow under my bed?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-17, 07:53 PM
A. Slimer from Ghostbusters. I won't ask...


Q. Where's the beef?

Laser Jock
2004-Nov-17, 08:02 PM
A: Right here. (http://www.badastronomy.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=17732)

Q: Why are you embarrassed?

frogesque
2004-Nov-17, 08:15 PM
Well, she said that I said but I didn't and she thought that but her sister said it wasn't true either and then her mother replied ....

How would you date a frog?

Makgraf
2004-Nov-17, 08:22 PM
A: Very carefully.

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck (if a woodchuck could chuck wood)?

frogesque
2004-Nov-17, 08:32 PM
I don't know, but don't let it play with dynamite.

What drink would you give to a man eating lion?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-17, 08:49 PM
A: I hear blood wine goes well with lion


Q: Why are so many people concerned with the habits of woodchucks?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 08:53 PM
A: Miss Daisy wont let them drive so they have to do something.

Q: What should i have for dinner tonight?

sidmel
2004-Nov-17, 09:05 PM
A. Woodchuck

Q. Why did the Alien abduct the chicken crossing the road?

pghnative
2004-Nov-17, 09:10 PM
A: Because all of the woodchucks had been eaten.

Q: What color is your parachute?

Ut
2004-Nov-17, 09:16 PM
A: Porcupine

Q: What is going on!?!?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-17, 09:31 PM
A: I dunno. I thought you knew.

Q: Wait! What was that??!

pghnative
2004-Nov-17, 09:33 PM
An exclamatory, one-word sentence.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?

cyswxman
2004-Nov-17, 09:36 PM
A: Bugs Bunny

Q: What's up, doc?

Andromeda321
2004-Nov-17, 09:51 PM
A: Chem test my teacher Doc Oc is giving tomorrow.

Q: Why does Rommie have a Spiderman bad guy teaching her chemistry class?

mickal555
2004-Nov-17, 09:52 PM
A: Bugs Bunny

Q: What's up, doc?
A.The sky

Q. How long is a piece of string

Humphrey
2004-Nov-17, 10:00 PM
(just to keep us on track)

A: andromeda: Because he lost his job to a Computer generated Villain.
A: Mickal: As long as the space between two points.


Q: Why were boy bands so popular?

crateris
2004-Nov-17, 10:27 PM
Because wedding bands have more talent!


What would chairs look like if your knees bent the OTHER way?

C.

Moose
2004-Nov-17, 10:29 PM
A. Mass hypnosis.

Q. Where'd I put my tin-foil beanie?

Donnie B.
2004-Nov-17, 10:47 PM
A. You accidentally ate it.

Q. Why a duck?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-17, 10:54 PM
A: The chicken hasn't made it across the road yet.

Q: Can Smurfs swim?

frogesque
2004-Nov-18, 12:23 AM
A: Sure, they can smurf the surf.

Q: Why does this thread read like a Rowan and Martin's Laugh In (http://www.museum.tv/archives/etv/R/htmlR/rowanandmar/rowanandmar.htm) script?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-18, 12:39 AM
A. Because most people here haven't seen it yet. :D


Q. Whoooooo are you? Who who, who who?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-18, 12:47 AM
A. No one of consequence

B. Why do you wear that mask?

Ut
2004-Nov-18, 01:39 AM
A: To hide your ugly face.

Q: Where's my Tab?

mickal555
2004-Nov-18, 01:49 AM
A. above the caps lock

Q. Whats the sound of one hand clapping[/b]

Tranquility
2004-Nov-18, 01:51 AM
A. Whoosh

Q. Why does Donald Duck wear a towel around his waste when he's coming out of the shower, but never actually wears pants?

pghnative
2004-Nov-18, 02:49 AM
A: Because he wears pants in the shower and doesn't want you to see.

Q: Why is the sky blue?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-18, 02:52 AM
A. Because the ground turned it down for a date.

Q. Moo?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-18, 03:35 AM
A: Yes and No...but mostly no.

Q: How many cats do you have to own for you to turn into a obsessed cat lover?

Ut
2004-Nov-18, 03:37 AM
A: Pie.

Q: What's the difference between desserts and deserts?

Andromeda321
2004-Nov-18, 05:47 AM
A: One is sandy because it's sand, the other tastes of sand because it was made improperly.
Q: Can ice cream taste sandy?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-18, 06:00 AM
A. Only if she lets him.

Q. Did you hear the one about the giraffe and the caveman?

Fram
2004-Nov-18, 09:37 AM
A. Ouch, that hurts.

Q. But what's the use?

Glom
2004-Nov-18, 10:15 AM
A: I'll tell you that when you're older, son.

Q: What's that red stuff coming out of kitty's ears?

Ut
2004-Nov-18, 10:49 AM
A: That's not its ear...

Q: What's your sign?

mickal555
2004-Nov-18, 11:34 AM
A. Stop (or give way)

Q. What colours a mirror

Wally
2004-Nov-18, 12:56 PM
A: a 3 year old with a box of crayolas

Q: If I had a penny for every sin I've committed, I'd be what?

Fram
2004-Nov-18, 01:58 PM
A. Sinderella

Q. Why is the sky the limit?

ToSeek
2004-Nov-18, 03:02 PM
A. Because the casino is happy to take all your money!

Q. Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

pghnative
2004-Nov-18, 03:24 PM
A: The Elephant Man

Q: Where's Waldo?

dvb
2004-Nov-18, 03:29 PM
A: Well he's right here (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/waldo.shtml) of course. ;)

Q: How long is a chinaman and how fat is his wife

Humphrey
2004-Nov-18, 07:21 PM
A: as tall as a human weighs.

Q: Whay did the engineer say to the computer?

Ut
2004-Nov-18, 08:08 PM
A: What's that? I can't hear you.

Q: Where'd my woodchuck go?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-18, 08:42 PM
A. Better ask Chuck

Q. How many woodchucks would Chuck chuck if Chuck would chuck woodchucks?

mickal555
2004-Nov-18, 08:51 PM
A. ARGGGGGH {head pops}

Q. Why won't that question go away

sidmel
2004-Nov-18, 08:52 PM
A: Woodchucks don’t chuck wood, they are forest dwelling mammals that masticate pulpy plant fibers, let’s be PC here.

Q: How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?


***Oops posted at the same time, so what's policy on that?***

mickal555
2004-Nov-18, 08:58 PM
A. Three!, no: dad it a medifor it has no meaning , ohhhhhhhh..... Seven!!

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?

pghnative
2004-Nov-18, 09:27 PM
ajngLoeOVyrE

Who invented whipped cream?

Nicolas
2004-Nov-18, 09:31 PM
A: Ali G. Oh no, that's wicked cream...
Q: Who shot the deputy?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-19, 12:34 AM
A. Some guy named Phil. He never gets any credit though.

Q. What does genesis mean to you?

Doe, John
2004-Nov-19, 12:48 AM
A. She's just a good friend, ignore the tabloids

Q. What ever happened to Robuck?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-19, 02:03 AM
***Oops posted at the same time, so what's policy on that?***

Doesnt matter. Just either edit your post, edit and say who you are replying to, or don't. There is no right answer. And its just for fun. :-)

I try to asnwer any missed ones i see that are obvious.

Humphrey
2004-Nov-19, 02:04 AM
A. She's just a good friend, ignore the tabloids

Q. What ever happened to Robuck?

A: Sears crushed him with a maytag washing machine.

Q: Which dwarf do i hate the most?

pghnative
2004-Nov-19, 02:09 AM
A: He's buried under a Sears store in New Jersey

Q: Why did the chicken marry the woodchuck?

Ut
2004-Nov-19, 02:17 AM
A: Because the penguin went missing.

Q: Where's the penguin?

Maksutov
2004-Nov-19, 02:19 AM
A: Under his umbrella.

Q: Why a no chicken?

xbck1
2004-Nov-19, 03:06 AM
A: Because there are only yes chickens.

Q: What's the point?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-19, 03:14 AM
A. 104.1 on your FM dial

Q. Where have all the flowers gone?

Ut
2004-Nov-19, 03:40 AM
A: I baked them into a beautiful tort.

Q: Who? Where? When? Why?

EvilBob
2004-Nov-19, 03:42 AM
A. 42


Q. What made Elizabeth Arden?

Parrothead
2004-Nov-19, 03:43 AM
A. How's 5 Ws

Q. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?

semi-sentient
2004-Nov-19, 03:59 AM
A: Because he's a cracker.

Q: What did you expect?

Maksutov
2004-Nov-19, 04:01 AM
A: NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

Q: How many fold are our ways?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-19, 04:55 AM
A. Ben Folds.

Q. Where have all the cowboys gone?

xbck1
2004-Nov-19, 06:00 AM
A: They got made into Cowboy coffee.

Q: What is your name?
Q: What is your quest?
Q: What is your favorite color?

(No, no, Roving Philosopher, that's The Mix!)

mickal555
2004-Nov-19, 06:40 AM
A. for me to know for you to find out

Q. What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do?

Maksutov
2004-Nov-19, 06:50 AM
A: Stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Q: WWMD?

Ut
2004-Nov-19, 07:06 AM
A: My very eager mother just served us nine pepperoni sticks.

Q: You do like pepperoni, don't you?

xbck1
2004-Nov-19, 07:15 AM
A: While I prefer a nice dry salami over pepperoni, I must concede that it does go will with cheese and tomato sauce when in small doses.

Q: Where is Carmen San Diego?

mickal555
2004-Nov-19, 07:46 AM
A. We can only guess we may never know

Q. Whats "weres waldo" I've head of "where's Wally " but...........?

xbck1
2004-Nov-19, 08:19 AM
A: That (http://www.candlewick.com/images/activities/waldo_bust.gif)'s Waldo. In Waldo books (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/104-6346087-0810330), you try to find Waldo, his dog Woof, his girlfriend (?) Wenda, the Wizard Whitebeard, Waldo's evil twin Odlaw, and various articles like Waldo's glasses, cane, books, Whitebeard's scrolls, etc., all hidden among thousands of little people in interesting scenes. If I remember correctly, there was even a Waldo television show.

Q: How big is a pixel?

Fram
2004-Nov-19, 09:37 AM
A. About 1 by 1

Q. How much is that doggy in the window (woof woof)?

worzel
2004-Nov-19, 10:42 AM
A. That doggy is not for sale.

Q. Is there any such thing as a stupid question?

mickal555
2004-Nov-19, 11:10 AM
A. um Most of none of all questions are not, not stupid

A: That (http://www.candlewick.com/images/activities/waldo_bust.gif)'s Waldo. In Waldo books (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/104-6346087-0810330), you try to find Waldo, his dog Woof, his girlfriend (?) Wenda, the Wizard Whitebeard, Waldo's evil twin Odlaw, and various articles like Waldo's glasses, cane, books, Whitebeard's scrolls, etc., all hidden among thousands of little people in interesting scenes. If I remember correctly, there was even a Waldo television show.

Yep that sounds like wally... though and his girlfriend is called wendy
I think you guys changed his name (http://fan.unfloopy.net/wally/)cause wally's what the british call him. I actully have about 50 wheres wally magazines.

Q. IF a tree falls in an empty forrest what sound douse it make a sound

Tranquility
2004-Nov-19, 11:23 AM
A. There are no trees in empty forests

Q. Are the days of Cameron Diaz's acting glory over?

Wally
2004-Nov-19, 12:54 PM
A: Only if she continues to refuse my advances

Q: Who's more successful with the chickie-babes, me or Waldo?

Ut
2004-Nov-19, 01:43 PM
A: I didn't know Waldo liked chicken.

Q: What's a hot dog made out of?

Wally
2004-Nov-19, 01:46 PM
A: sugar and spice, and everything nice

Q: I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a . . . ?

ToSeek
2004-Nov-19, 02:25 PM
A. Sundae on Saturday.

Q. Why do we all scream for ice cream?

pghnative
2004-Nov-19, 02:33 PM
A: Because we can no longer scream for the Beatles.

Q: If a man speaks in a forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Wally
2004-Nov-19, 02:57 PM
A:Not only is he wrong, but he shouldn't have said anything to begin with, so it's his own fault as well. . .

Q: I am quickly approaching what milestone?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-19, 03:45 PM
A. That depends what road you are on and at what speed you are travelling

Q. Who would win in a fight between The Great Pumpkin and Santa Claus?

sidmel
2004-Nov-19, 03:49 PM
A. Santa Clause, he's got Elf Commandos backing him up.

Q. If a woodchuck chucks pengiuns in an empty forest is the women still right about making the chicken cross the road for hotdogs?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-19, 04:07 PM
A: No the Turtle overlords who are watching from their flying chipmunk spy cameras have decided that everyone is wrong and should be punished by ritual whip cream baths.

Q: Why does Sony make a Game system that has a battery life shorter than a single movie?

pghnative
2004-Nov-19, 04:15 PM
everyone is wrong and should be punished by ritual whip cream baths. Hmmm---could be fun. Sign me up! I was wrong first!!! And Michelle Pfeiffer second!!!


Q: Why does Sony make a Game system that has a battery life shorter than a single movie?A1: Because it was invented by male woodchucks in the Penguin Forest.
A2: Because you shouldn't be watching movies on a Game system

Q: What color is the Sun?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-19, 04:20 PM
everyone is wrong and should be punished by ritual whip cream baths. Hmmm---could be fun. Sign me up! I was wrong first!!! And Michelle Pfeiffer second!!! Would it not be better to ask to save money and take one together? :-P



Q: What color is the Sun?

A: Black and white with spots. At least that's what color it is when i see it inside the box to avoid looking at it.

Q: Why do people like to park in places that are clearly labeled not a parking area?

Parrothead
2004-Nov-19, 04:40 PM
A. Because they believe the "P" with a slash through it means "no pedestrians"

Q. Are you pondering, what I'm pondering?

sidmel
2004-Nov-19, 04:45 PM
A. I think so, but how are we going to put tutus on all those monkeys?

Q. What are we going to do tonight?

pghnative
2004-Nov-19, 04:50 PM
A: Apparently we're attending a monkey ballet. Or is it a Monkees (http://www.monkees.net/) ballet? (Either one would be quite a sight.)

Q:Are you a believer? (and do you understand the reference???)

Ut
2004-Nov-19, 05:03 PM
A: I've seen her face, but I'm still a heathen.

Q: Pepsi or coke?

dvb
2004-Nov-19, 05:11 PM
A: Pepsi like most Canadians. Or so the ad says. ;)

Q: Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's limo?

xbck1
2004-Nov-19, 05:22 PM
A: No, but I hear it's wonderful.

Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?

hickboy
2004-Nov-19, 05:23 PM
A: No, but neither does Stevie

B: Did you see that?



Edited to make more sense (sadly, that makes more sense...)

sidmel
2004-Nov-19, 05:28 PM
A. Yeah, it's not everyday you see a tutu wearing monkey riding an elephant through down town New York.

Q. Is the circus in town?

Parrothead
2004-Nov-19, 05:37 PM
A. No only a barrel full of elephant riding, tutu-wearing monkeys are in town.

Q. Does gum really lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight?

pghnative
2004-Nov-19, 06:29 PM
A: It does if you leave your dentures beside it.

Q: Why does my head hurt?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-19, 06:56 PM
A. Well, I'm not a doctor, but it might have something to do with that railroad spike protruding from your head.

Q. Why?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-19, 07:06 PM
A: For the last time! Because they are good for you!

Q: Does Miss Daisy really need to be driven?

sidmel
2004-Nov-19, 07:06 PM
***Edited, answer for:


A. Well, I'm not a doctor, but it might have something to do with that railroad spike protruding from your head.

Q. Why?

A. Because I thought it might have been the woodchuck attached to my skull.

Q. Is Schrodinger's cat is still in the box, or do think he bobbed off for some catnip julips down in Georgia?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-19, 07:08 PM
A: The cat was never in the box. ITs all a magic trick with mirrors, a picture of a cat, and a sound recorder. The real cat is in Miami living under secret FBI protection under a new name.

Q: If you met a talking animal, what would you do?

Roving Philosopher
2004-Nov-19, 07:18 PM
A. If it's a woodchuck, I'd find out how much wood he would chuck if he could chuck wood, and put the darn question to rest

Q. How much wood.... ah, forget it.... Who could that be at this hour?

pghnative
2004-Nov-19, 07:55 PM
Who could that be at this hour?Probably your grandfather (clock).

Why don't grandmother's have clocks?

Parrothead
2004-Nov-19, 08:03 PM
A. Grandmothers are too busy racing (Little Old Lady from Pasedena).

Q. Will Wile E. Coyote win his case (http://www.qis.net/~jimjr/misc113.htm) against Acme?

xbck1
2004-Nov-19, 08:30 PM
A: Not if the Roadrunner has anything to Meep Meep about it.

Q: Okay, then, why not?

ToSeek
2004-Nov-19, 08:39 PM
A. Because I said so, that's why not.

Incidentally grandmothers do have clocks (http://www.theclockdepot.com/grandmother_clocks.html). They just don't have songs written about them.

Q. Why do fools fall in love?

xbck1
2004-Nov-19, 08:42 PM
A: Because those who are wise look before they leap.

Q: Jeeze, what now?

darkhunter
2004-Nov-19, 09:37 PM
A: Hehehehe...

Q: Do you really want to know?

pghnative
2004-Nov-19, 09:45 PM
Q: Do you really want to know?Why else would I have asked if i didn't want to know?

A: Where's my cheese? (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0399144463/qid=1100900682/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/102-0338956-5228109?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)

Maksutov
2004-Nov-19, 10:16 PM
A: Where it was moved to.

Q: What's The City and who protects it?

pghnative
2004-Nov-19, 10:20 PM
Q: What's The City and who protects it?Whatever it is, it's obviously protected by Stuart Copeland, Andy Summers and Gordon Sumner. (Or at least it used to be.)

Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?

sidmel
2004-Nov-19, 10:28 PM
A. Apparently not, I knew I should have taken that right at Albuquerque.

Q. What's up Doc?

mickal555
2004-Nov-19, 10:40 PM
A. cloulds :cry:

Q. Whats that got to do with the price of eggs?

frogesque
2004-Nov-19, 10:48 PM
A: Nothing, but have you seen the price of parsnips?

Q: What's a whatnot not got?

mickal555
2004-Nov-19, 11:22 PM
A. What?!

Q. When is enough not enough

xbck1
2004-Nov-20, 12:13 AM
A: riiiiight... abooooouuuuuut... NOW! *snap*

Q: Nrrrrrrggghh, nrrrrrrrrggghhh... urg?

Doe, John
2004-Nov-20, 12:30 AM
A. No, I'm not a doctor

Q. What times the next swan?

pghnative
2004-Nov-20, 04:09 PM
A: At hen o'duck in the morning.

Q: Why are you carrying that trombone?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-20, 04:12 PM
A. I like to have creative weapons.

Q. Who's Zed?

pghnative
2004-Nov-20, 05:36 PM
A: The brother of Ed, father of Ted, cousin of Jed and uncle to Fred. Had the nickname "Red" till he was found dead, having bled in his bed. Twas a blockage in his head 'cause he was fed too much bread. Or so they said.

Q: Is it true that you were filled with dread when you wed?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-22, 10:18 PM
A: No just a crushing sense of loss of self control. :-P (j/k.......maybe...:-P)

Q: Why oh Why did i have to leave my wallet in Rachels car and she drives out to work when i have to go to class?

Moose
2004-Nov-22, 10:20 PM
Q. Blame Murphy. Everyone else does.

A. What the heck was THAT???

Fram
2004-Nov-23, 10:12 AM
A. A plate of chocolate moose

Q. If the end is near, why can't we see it?

frogesque
2004-Nov-23, 10:24 AM
A: Because your looking under the hood.

Q: Would you like a biscuit?

Wally
2004-Nov-23, 01:37 PM
A: only if it's rubber

Q: I think, therefore. . .

frogesque
2004-Nov-23, 01:47 PM
A: It's a chocholate teapot, all reality is chocholate.

Q: If all reality is chocholate and the universe is expanding ...

Who's getting my share?

ToSeek
2004-Nov-23, 02:48 PM
A: The rest of us are sharing your share.

Q: What is your quest?

pghnative
2004-Nov-23, 04:23 PM
Q: What is your quest?
A: No, that's an Xterra (http://www.nissanusa.com/vehicles/ModelHomePage/0,,31350,00.html), not a Quest (http://www.nissanusa.com/vehicles/ModelHomePage/0,,35529,00.html). I wouldn't be caught dead in a minivan.

Q: Why is that man shaking his head?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-23, 04:37 PM
A: He just realized he is pissing off this boardwith his hacks, and he does not want to do that.

Q: If you could do any on thing with utter perfection, what would it be?

pghnative
2004-Nov-23, 05:01 PM
A: Predict lottery numbers.

Q: Is that snow?

Moose
2004-Nov-23, 05:11 PM
A. All I know is it ain't gonna rain no more. No more. It ain't gonna rain no more.

Q. How in the heck can I wash my neck if it ain't gonna rain no more?

pghnative
2004-Nov-23, 08:15 PM
A: You could always spit into the wind.

Q: What happen's if you tug on Superman's cape?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-23, 09:47 PM
A: He fliesw off with you still holding on and lets you go.

Q: Why do i have to stop at a traffic light? I have places to go!

Doe, John
2004-Nov-23, 11:26 PM
A. And one of them's the emergency room

Q. Is there a lawyer in the house?

Gramma loreto
2004-Nov-24, 12:01 AM
A. And one of them's the emergency room

Q. Is there a lawyer in the house?

A: No...but a house fell on my ex-wife once.

Q: What's in the big pink box? (Geeky movie line alert)

darkhunter
2004-Nov-24, 07:56 PM
A. And one of them's the emergency room

Q. Is there a lawyer in the house?

A: No...but a house fell on my ex-wife once.

Q: What's in the big pink box? (Geeky movie line alert)

A: a cat

Where's the beef? (remember the '80s? :D )

Humphrey
2004-Nov-24, 08:12 PM
A: Do i really have to answer? its more than obvious the beef is on the grill sizzling very nicely. :-)

Q: Wheres the Falaffel?

frogesque
2004-Nov-24, 09:03 PM
A: At Aladin's Eatery (http://www.aladdinseatery.com/menu_detail.asp?ID=13)

Q: Who is waiting at the bus stop?

ToSeek
2004-Nov-24, 09:46 PM
A. Some chick who could use an umbrella (http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/busstop.htm).

Q. Where do we go from here?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-24, 10:54 PM
A: Out to dinner hopefully

Q: Whats the deal with airplane food?

Doe, John
2004-Nov-24, 11:23 PM
A. The airlines got sick of people complaining about it, so they quit serving it =D>

Q. Does anybody really miss chicken-a-la-king?

ToSeek
2004-Nov-25, 01:10 AM
A. Only the king.

Q. What is man, that thou art mindful of him?

mickal555
2004-Nov-25, 01:38 AM
erm........ 8-[
um..... 8-[
A. I know you are but what am I

Q. I know you are but what am I ?

Moose
2004-Nov-25, 02:24 AM
A. Repetitive.

Q. Do you know the way to San Josť?

Ut
2004-Nov-25, 03:07 AM
A: Yeah, it's right before San Jose-B. You can't miss it.

Q: Why do you run from me?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-25, 03:21 AM
A: and i'll keep on doing it till you put some pants on! :-P

Q: Why, oh Why is it so?

ToSeek
2004-Nov-25, 04:14 AM
A: Because it's the note that's after fa.

Q: Whither Canada?

Ut
2004-Nov-25, 04:19 AM
A: Written with flair. (http://whither.blogspot.com/)

Q: Haven't you always wanted a MonKEY?

Ut
2004-Nov-27, 06:55 PM
A: Nah, I've always been more of a hypnotoad kinda guy.

Q: Go crazy?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-27, 10:37 PM
A: bbooogah...booogggha!

Q: Meep?

Andromeda321
2004-Nov-27, 10:41 PM
A: Meep meep!
Q: Are you a user of Acme products?

pghnative
2004-Nov-29, 02:59 AM
A: I'm not only a client, I'm the president.
Q: If three of you pay 30$, get five dollars back, and give two to the bellboy, what's the name of the engineer?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-29, 06:18 AM
A: "Verizon" It was on his shirt.

Q: If you had to wear a nametag, what would it say?

Ut
2004-Nov-29, 06:29 AM
A: Hello, My Name Is

Q: Who spit on my visor?

Maksutov
2004-Nov-29, 06:53 AM
A: The other poker player you're beating.

Q: What's up my sleeve?



[edit/remove quote]

Yorkshireman
2004-Nov-29, 12:00 PM
Everything's fine. And I'm not your sleeve.

When is somebody going to put the lights back on in here?

mickal555
2004-Nov-29, 12:57 PM
Q. as soon as you want to do some astronomy or it clears

A. What sound douse a mouse make

Humphrey
2004-Nov-29, 03:59 PM
A: Meep.

Q:I think its rather simple really. You take the square root of the tenth digit, subtract by the full value of Pi, add on the physical weight of a full heighlighter, and the amount of mispelled words in the average BABB posters posts. So with all that in mind, whats your best microwave setting for microwave popcorn?

pghnative
2004-Nov-29, 04:54 PM
Q:I think its rather simple really. You take the square root of the tenth digit, subtract by the full value of Pi, add on the physical weight of a full heighlighter, and the amount of mispelled words in the average BABB posters posts. So with all that in mind, whats your best microwave setting for microwave popcorn?
A: Excluding Humphrey from the set of BABB posters (he's an outlier after all), I get setting 5. Including Humphrey, I calculate setting 29.
Q Eeeewwww --- what's that in the middle of the road?

Moose
2004-Nov-29, 05:02 PM
A. The next photo feature on rotten[dot]com, I think.

Q. Meow?

pghnative
2004-Nov-29, 05:03 PM
A: Only if you've hit your thumb with that hammer.

Q: Luau?

Humphrey
2004-Nov-29, 06:11 PM
A: only if i get to wear the grass skirt!

Q: BowWow?

Doe, John
2004-Nov-30, 03:41 AM
A. And in the mirror universe its woWwoB.

Q. Who's There?

Tobin Dax
2004-Nov-30, 05:33 AM
A: The Doctor.

Q: Why is it always me?

Normandy6644
2004-Nov-30, 06:07 AM
A. Because no one else falls for it.

Q. Who keeps the metric system down?

mickal555
2004-Nov-30, 06:10 AM
A. The Americans or is it the yellow Martians

Q. Why douse my glass smell fruity

Maksutov
2004-Nov-30, 09:17 AM
A: You've been stirring its contents with your dousing rod.

Q: Which way is up?

worzel
2004-Nov-30, 09:37 AM
A: The only way.

Q. What's the difference between a duck?

Maksutov
2004-Nov-30, 09:40 AM
A: Viaduct.

Q: What's up, Doc?

worzel
2004-Nov-30, 09:44 AM
A. A carrot.

Q. Why up?

Fram
2004-Nov-30, 09:47 AM
A. Because the next step is Away!

Q. How are you today?

Maksutov
2004-Nov-30, 09:47 AM
A: Earp

Q: What do you want on your Tombstone?

worzel
2004-Nov-30, 09:50 AM
A. Vacant

Q. When is a fish wrong?

frogesque
2004-Nov-30, 11:27 AM
A: When it tells tales.

Q: How do you make fish soup?

mickal555
2004-Nov-30, 12:29 PM
q. Step one: find nemo 8-[

A. How long douse toothpaste last

pghnative
2004-Nov-30, 02:24 PM
A: Two months --- one month, if you like to eat garlic

Q: Why is it called a parkway if you're not supposed to park on it?

Moose
2004-Nov-30, 02:56 PM
A. For the same reason you don't drive in your driveway.

Q. Why is it that when someone discovers milk they think has gone bad, they want YOU to taste it?

pghnative
2004-Nov-30, 04:05 PM
Q. Why is it that when someone discovers milk they think has gone bad, they want YOU to taste it?
A: Because they're trying to conserve their toothpaste.

Q: Why is that gopher smiling?

Moose
2004-Nov-30, 04:37 PM
A. 'Cause he knows the answer to the dreaded woodchuck question, but he ain't talkin'.

Q. So who did put the "Ram" in the "Ramalama-Ding-Dong"?

mickal555
2004-Nov-30, 09:44 PM
Q. The sheep

A. What would liquid hydrogen taste like

ToSeek
2004-Nov-30, 10:29 PM
A. I don't know, but you wouldn't have to worry about an aftertaste.

Q. Why is a mouse when it spins?

Doe, John
2004-Dec-01, 12:38 AM
A. mash! sex! mash! sex!

Q. What happened to the toot in rooty-toot-toot?

pghnative
2004-Dec-01, 04:30 PM
A: It was arrested for illegal palindromicity, and was forced to change its name to tutti.

Q: If it's not heavy, and it's not your brother, what is it?

Normandy6644
2004-Dec-01, 07:17 PM
A. A rhinocerous, obviously.

Q. Do you know the way to San Jose?

ToSeek
2004-Dec-01, 07:34 PM
A. Just don't make a right turn at Albuquerque.

Q. What do you get when you fall in love?

pghnative
2004-Dec-01, 09:22 PM
A: High credit card bills.

Q: What do you get when you fall out of love?

ZaphodBeeblebrox
2004-Dec-01, 09:34 PM
A: A Broken Heart!

:(

Q: How should I Celebrate, my 1800th Post?

It IS Lucky, ya' know?

ToSeek
2004-Dec-01, 10:09 PM
A. Party naked.

Q. Who's there?

Zachary
2004-Dec-01, 10:21 PM
A: A pan-galactic shade of purple.

Q: Who ate all the pies?

Doe, John
2004-Dec-02, 01:44 AM
A. A six foot tall rabbit named Harvey

Q. What can my country do for me?

pghnative
2004-Dec-02, 02:58 PM
A: Inspire dreams of Merle Haggard, Garth Brooks and Shania Twain.

Q: Why would anyone live in a yellow submarine?

ToSeek
2004-Dec-02, 05:22 PM
A: Because then you don't have to look at it.

Q: Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?

Humphrey
2004-Dec-02, 05:38 PM
A: Will you still give me money?

Q: How long do we have?

pghnative
2004-Dec-02, 07:48 PM
A: According to actuarial tables, I have 39 years left.

Q: Where's the bus?

Ut
2004-Dec-02, 07:51 PM
A: Somewhere between here and Existential Street

Q: Has anyone seen the woodchuck lately?

Nicolas
2004-Dec-02, 07:53 PM
A: Yes
Q: What were you doing there???

Humphrey
2004-Dec-02, 08:04 PM
A: [looks at the woodchuck...] Umm. nuthing...Nuthing at all....

Q: Whats better Chicago style or New York style?

pghnative
2004-Dec-02, 10:22 PM
A: Chicago-style if we're talkin' pizza, New York-style if we're talkin' cheesecake. (And West Virginia-style if we're talkin' woodchuck.)

Q: Just why did Kruschev take off his shoe?

Doe, John
2004-Dec-03, 12:10 AM
A. To whack the woodchuck.

Q. Who's on first?

Ut
2004-Dec-03, 12:13 AM
A: So he is.

Q: What do you call someone who's against antidisestablishmentarianism?

Odinoneeye
2004-Dec-03, 12:19 AM
A: Sir!

Q: Where is the exact center of the Moon?

Fram
2004-Dec-03, 10:26 AM
A. In the middle

Q. Why can't I be you?