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View Full Version : The Guardian's Bad Science awards are out...



Zachary
2004-Dec-20, 03:06 PM
http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/badscience/

This stuff is great :lol: :

'but both were trumped, to great popular acclaim, by Jeanette Winterson, for her excellent plan to send homeopathic remedies to treat HIV in Botswana.'

Bawheid
2004-Dec-20, 03:23 PM
Always a great column. =D> =D> =D>

mid
2004-Dec-20, 05:02 PM
Oh no. I have a horrible, horrible mind, and I'm now thinking about how you'd make a homeopathic remedy for a sexually-transmitted disease.

Help!

Moose
2004-Dec-20, 05:10 PM
Same way you make any other homeopathic medicine: distill water.

Swift
2004-Dec-20, 06:33 PM
Same way you make any other homeopathic medicine: distill water.
But you need very tiny water molecules :o (read the article).

Moose
2004-Dec-20, 06:39 PM
I did read the article.

I'm not sure I'm seeing your point, Swift. I'm not suggesting starting with HIV-tainted water and distilling that. Assuming the HIV virus can survive being boiled/condensed, such a process would be criminal.

I'm talking about distilling water. No other steps.

Swift
2004-Dec-20, 06:45 PM
I was making a joke based on this from the cosmetics section:

But the winner was a hair-straightening treatment by Bioionic, called Ionic Hair Retexturizing: "Water molecules are broken down to a fraction of their previous size ... diminutive enough to penetrate through the cuticle, and eventually into the core of each hair".


<edited because I was trying to quote myself, hit edit by mistake, and messed up the original post - sorry #-o >

Moose
2004-Dec-20, 06:48 PM
Ah. That makes more sense now. :)

Apparently those water molecules weren't yet small enough to get past my ** filter. :roll:

zebo-the-fat
2004-Dec-20, 07:26 PM
Are there not laws regarding false and misleading advertising claims? or are the prisons too full already? :evil:

mike alexander
2004-Dec-21, 12:44 AM
zebo asks:


Are there not laws regarding false and misleading advertising claims? or are the prisons too full already?

There was once a performance of Mozart's Don Juan where, during the banquet scene, the rather corpulent lead got stuck in the trapdoor that leads to the nether regions. He could neither continue down nor pull himself back out, at which point someone yelled from the audience "Hurrah boys! Hell's finally full!"

mid
2004-Dec-21, 10:48 AM
He could neither continue down nor pull himself back out, at which point someone yelled from the audience "Hurrah boys! Hell's finally full!"

Hurrah??? This is NOT good news. When there's no more room in hell, the Dead will walk the Earth. Haven't these people seen Dawn Of The Dead?

Bawheid
2004-Dec-22, 02:21 PM
I missed this article in the archive, fortunately I have the kind of friends who don't. The Science of vitamin E enriched toilet paper. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/badscience/story/0,12980,1358513,00.html)

WARNING: Immature content.

beskeptical
2004-Dec-23, 08:44 AM
Are there not laws regarding false and misleading advertising claims? ..... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Surely you gest?

Maksutov
2004-Dec-23, 09:15 AM
Same way you make any other homeopathic medicine: distill water.
But you need very tiny water molecules :o (read the article).
You know, that really throws a monkey wrench into one villager's hypothesis:


CROWD: Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...
BEDEVERE: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.
VILLAGER #1: Are there?
VILLAGER #2: Ah?
VILLAGER #1: What are they?
CROWD: Tell us! Tell us!...
BEDEVERE: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
VILLAGER #1: Burn!
CROWD: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #3: Shh!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
BEDEVERE: Good! Heh heh.
CROWD: Oh, yeah. Oh.
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #1: Oh, yeah.
RANDOM: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No. No.
VILLAGER #2: No, it floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond! Throw her into the pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Uh, very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Uh, gra-- gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Uh, churches! Churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR: A duck!
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEVERE: Exactly. So, logically...
VILLAGER #1: If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of
wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore?
VILLAGER #2: A witch!
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch! A witch!...
VILLAGER #4: Here is a duck. Use this duck.
[quack quack quack]
BEDEVERE: Very good. We shall use my largest scales.
CROWD: Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her!
Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...
BEDEVERE: Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]
CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
VILLAGER #3: Burn her!
CROWD: Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!...
BEDEVERE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
ARTHUR: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Now they would have have to be very tiny rocks.

Bawheid
2004-Dec-23, 11:07 AM
If, instead of shrinking the water molecules, you made them big enough would you make water a solid? :o

Or much less dense, in which case the duck would sink? #-o