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BigDon
2014-Oct-17, 06:27 PM
Getting yet another neurological work-up and the charming young lady doctor asks me;

"Can you tell me how many times you've been knocked unconscious? And under what circumstances?"

Well now.

A good way to relate the awkwardness I felt is to tell you all what my brother, who I served with, said after I repeated the question to him later.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

As did the next three people who heard. Sorta hurt my feelings after a bit.

And this was a polite young woman!

After her eyes got all big the focus was narrowed to just the times when I was in the service.

Then another minute later, just the first five instances, as she had to write this all down. Plus she said that alone told her what she needed to know.

I had her and the nurse bugged-eyed more than once.

The chief surgeon of the ship and I were on a first name basis. He called me Don and I called him "sir".

He was of the opinion that I lived life face first. Who am I to argue with a brilliant surgeon? The man did incredible reconstruction work I might add. Learned his trade during the Viet Nam war. (I saw his work on others.)

And the time I came in *really* hurt he actually took the scalpel from the surgeon about to dive in on my face and took over the procedure.

I'm given to understand that's not often done. Maybe Grant or Arneb can comment on that.

The area about my left eye and upper cheek and nose was rather unpleasantly macerated and the first doctor was going to cut off bits the chief surgeon didn't think ought to be cut off.

And I just couldn't do some of the stories justice in the amount of time, like

The utterly awesome brawl in the Sierra Club, a converted French opera house. Cheap Trick was recording Live At Budokan in Japan and when they were on break they asked one of the roadies, a former sailor, where was a good place to party and he told them Olongapo so they all flew out for the weekend. When the house band went on break Rick Nielson, the guitarist asked if he could play and rocked the house down so hard the first band got pissed and pulled the power after twenty minutes, on several hundred drunken sailors. One of them misbehaved.

That alone would have taken an hour to tell.

Or the Bugis Street Riot where I somehow got partnered up with a New Zealand Army light infantry E-5? That son of a kiwi knocked me unconscious on my feet twice and nothing tasted right for a week after!

Somehow I don't think she's had a lot of patients like myself, at least ones not wearing orange jumpsuits! (:))

swampyankee
2014-Oct-17, 07:10 PM
Certainly none who can tell such great stories.

I've been knocked out once. It was quite enough.

Hypmotoad
2014-Oct-17, 07:11 PM
Seriously? Cheap Trick?

I am sooo hating you right now, GAH!

I love Cheap Trick. Power trios are rare and include (founded by) Rush, Cheap Trick, and Triumph. TY Google. Couldn't remember them somehow.

Oh yeah, Dude, learn to duck ;p

PetersCreek
2014-Oct-17, 07:53 PM
The most memorable awkward moment I had with a doc was awkward for him. I worked in health care administration during the latter half of my USAF career, so I was no stranger to medical terminology...nor to the attitudes some MDs could have. While I was stationed in Germany, I came down with a malady that was (at that time) quite unusual for the locale. The initial visit to the doc went something like this:

Doc: So what brings you in today?

Me: Rule out Lyme Disease. (medical jargon for: I'd like you to check if I have Lyme Disease, please...sir.)

Doc: Are you medical?

Me: Medical admin. I work over in the AeroVac squadron. (did he just roll his eyes at me?)

Doc: What makes you think you have Lyme Disease? (oh yeah, that's an eye roll)

Me: I went camping a while back and found a tick on my thigh. I thought I removed it within 24 hours but I developed an EM rash.

Doc: Well, let's just see about that. Drop your pants. (so I do)

Doc: Hmmm...

Me: Nice looking bulls-eye, isn't it?

Doc: I'll be darned...

Buttercup
2014-Oct-17, 07:59 PM
Years ago, doctor noticed I'd gained weight. Asked me why. I said "baking cookies." He glared and said, "It's okay to bake cookies, but do you have to eat them all??"

Hypmotoad
2014-Oct-17, 08:05 PM
Removing from bucket list: Rock out with Rick Nielson ...reason: would be awkward if we both threw our backs out at the same time.

Swift
2014-Oct-17, 08:06 PM
Years ago, doctor noticed I'd gained weight. Asked me why. I said "baking cookies." He glared and said, "It's okay to bake cookies, but do you have to eat them all??"
Sometimes we get our revenge though....

The main drug I take for my colitis also impairs folic acid uptake, so you need to take a folic acid supplement. When my gastroenterologist first put me on the drugs, he asked if I knew why folic acid was important. I told him it was important because if I got pregnant it would help prevent spinal cord birth defects in my child (I'm a male). It did make him laugh.

PetersCreek
2014-Oct-17, 08:19 PM
The very best awkward medical moment I ever had wasn't with a doc or a nurse. It was with an insurance adjuster. My wife and I were in an accident quite a few years ago. The other driver was at fault but was uninsured, so we filed on my wife's insurance policy (her truck). They were pretty straightforward in handling her claim but me, not so much. Although we were were living together at that time, we weren't yet married so they treated me like any old so-and-so trying to take them for all I could. After dragging their heels for a while, Fannie, the adjuster, made me a low-ball offer of $1500.

Me: $1500? Why so low?

Fannie: It's based on a review of the medical records you provided. You see, we generally don't pay a lot for soft tissue injuries like yours.

Me: So, if I had broken a bone, I would get a lot more?

Fannie: Oh, yes. Of course.

Me: Do you have my records in front of you?

Fannie: Yes, I do.

Me: Do you see the radiologist's reading on my films...the part where he talks about the avulsion fracture on my right tibial plateau? It wasn't just a soft tissue injury. My ACL pulled a chunk of bone from my tibia like a carrot from the ground.

Fannie: Umm...I'll have to get back to you.

Having had enough of Fannie, we consulted a lawyer but the road was long and the price too steep. So, I researched insurance industry practices, compensation formulas, and what-have-you, then crafted two demand letters: one for me and one for my wife. In my letter, I also shared my assessment of the adjuster's competence. They settled with my wife to her policy max without fuss. They counter-offered on my demand, I countered in return and we were done. My wife...a hairdresser...later shared the whole story with a client who is a lawyer. She said he seemed quite impressed, said that he couldn't have done any better for us (even before his cut) and wanted to know if we'd come work for him.

Nicolas
2014-Oct-17, 09:15 PM
Awkward medical moment...we once had to teach a doctor the old lesson called "never assume pregnancy". The cookies took the blame.

BigDon
2014-Oct-17, 09:55 PM
Nick, 30 years ago I made a stranger in a supermarket cry, doing just that.

I sort of watch my mouth now with that regard.

grant hutchison
2014-Oct-17, 09:59 PM
Never congratulate a woman on being pregnant unless you can actually see a baby emerging from her body. These are words by which to live.

Grant Hutchison

DaveC426913
2014-Oct-17, 10:20 PM
My wife never regained her waistline after having two C-sections, so she's a bit plump around the middle.

She works in a hospital and one day she was making her way from her office to the photocopier, when a nurse rushed out of the neonatal unit with a concerend look on her face, looking up and down the hallway. She spotted my wife and came rushing over to her.

"You mustn't go wandering off like that! Please come sit down! Now how long has it been since you've felt any foetal movement?"

My wife, the cool cucumber that she is, made a wry smile, and said "Oh, about thirteen years..."

True story.

Hypmotoad
2014-Oct-17, 10:27 PM
LMAO! Good one!

Could submit that to Reader's Digest if want a fast, easy $150 or so.

Very funny.

Arneb
2014-Oct-17, 10:42 PM
I'll better tiptoe out of this one, I guess. Funny thing is, I've had a few awkward moments in my profession not that long ago.

But Don, re. that chief surgeon who took the scalpel over from his younger colleague: In my humble, but still medical opinion, the boss should be where the action is and do the things others don't want to assume blame for. So maybe what he did was unusual, but if it was, it shouldn't be.

See you all elsewhere....

DaveC426913
2014-Oct-18, 12:14 AM
LMAO! Good one!

Could submit that to Reader's Digest if want a fast, easy $150 or so.

Very funny.

As a matter of fact, I did! I submitted it along with a half-dozen other RD-worthy stories, back when I thought I might write a little.

Never heard back from them though.

Hypmotoad
2014-Oct-18, 04:03 AM
As a matter of fact, I did! I submitted it along with a half-dozen other RD-worthy stories, back when I thought I might write a little.

Never heard back from them though.

Reader's Digest is now obviously populated by heathens and miscreants lol.

Unless you were looking for the new Cardio diet...o.O

John Mendenhall
2014-Oct-18, 07:02 AM
I
Never congratulate a woman on being pregnant unless you can actually see a baby emerging from her body. These are words by which to live.

Grant Hutchison

Too true. When I was still living at home a lady in the neighborhood, of a childless couple, she in her early 40s , of substantial girth, and herself an RN went to the hospital with what she thought was appendicitis. She came home in three days with a beautiful baby girl! They were ecstatic. And the neighborhood ladies had everything ready in the three days, crib bottles diapers, everything normally given in showers.

Jim
2014-Oct-18, 04:40 PM
The most awkward moment I ever had at the doctor's office was awkward for the doctor.

I had gone in for a checkup and an injection of some sort (years ago, specifics have mushed). The equipment and medicine were sitting on a tray. The doctor and I sat talking, waiting for the nurse to come in and give the injection. After a few minutes, the doctor decided he'd give it.

He screwed the needle onto the syringe, drew the medicine into it, swabbed my arm, and pop! The insertion was completely painless.

However, the needle was not securely on the syringe. When he started pushing the plunger, the syringe popped out, leaving the needle in my arm and medicine being squirted onto it.

He quickly screwed the syringe back on to the needle and pulled it out. The nurse came in and gave the injection, without incident.

Inclusa
2014-Oct-20, 12:07 AM
Reader's Digest is now obviously populated by heathens and miscreants lol.

Unless you were looking for the new Cardio diet...o.O

I remember reading the Chinese edition of Reader's Digest as a child; it was never meant to be a professional or academic magazine.
Ok, we have all types of wacky fitting programs today, though.
I know a few people who absolutely adore Aljazeera, though.

The Backroad Astronomer
2014-Oct-23, 06:31 PM
I can remember the only time I blacked out and the reason why. Too much booze and two girls. Ended up blacked out for two hours in front off tv with garbage can in lap. When I came to two guys were watching law and order reruns on a and e.

DaveC426913
2014-Oct-23, 07:34 PM
This is 'Awkward Moments At The Doctor's Office'

'Awkward Moments Coming To from a Bad Night of Drinking' is two doors down on the right.

And 'Awkward Moments Realizing You've Totally Inappropriately Overshared a Part of Your Life in the Wrong Place' is right next to the door, under the dark rock.

:D

JohnD
2014-Oct-23, 07:36 PM
Peter's Creek,
Gosh, you offended on so many levels!
FIRST, you are not supposed to have read the Book - that's why it used to be written in Latin.
SECOND, you jumped in, half way down the page. Give the Doc a chance, he/she supposed to work out the knotty clinical problem, not have it presented on a plate.
THIRD, you denied any medical knowledge and then displayed it! What is this guy? A 'Mystery Patient' from the AMA? OMG!

Be humble please before the altar of Medicine and respect its acolytes, who are only doing their best. Say, I've got this weird bite on my leg and I'm feeling a bit crook. No harm in then saying, when Dr.Kildeer comes to the brilliant diagnosis, "I thought so" because the Doc will be so pleased they won't notice.

JOhn

SeanF
2014-Oct-23, 08:12 PM
The closest I've come to an "awkward" moment with the Doctor was this spring, when we had my daughter in for an emergency appendectomy. The doctor was asking all the typical questions and, when she got to the first one concerning family medical history, I said, "Does it really matter?"

She looked up at me, then looked at my (adopted, Chinese) daughter, then said, "No, I guess it doesn't." But we both just laughed it off, so it wasn't truly awkward.

grant hutchison
2014-Oct-23, 10:06 PM
The most memorable awkward moment I had with a doc was awkward for him.The only story I can tell here is the same.

When I was a medical student, I received a course of penicillin for tonsillitis.
About halfway through the course I began to feel a little wheezy and itchy, and figured I was developing a penicillin allergy. So I stopped the drug and made an urgent appointment to see my General Practitioner the next morning, so that I could arrange a new antibiotic prescription.
Sitting in his waiting room, I noticed that I had developed a diagonal itchy weal across the back of both hands. The weal marked the point at which the edges of my trouser pockets had pressed on the backs of my hands as I was sitting with my hands in my pockets.
Interesting ... There's a phenomenon called dermatographism that's common in a true penicillin allergy - the skin comes up in weals when scratched or rubbed.
So I carefully inscribed my name on the inside of my forearm using my fingernail. Presto! Within a couple of minutes I had raised pink writing on the skin of my arm.
At which point the receptionist called me in to the doctor's office.
"I think I have a penicillin allergy," I told him.
Now, medical students are notorious for imagining they have all sorts of conditions that they've just been reading about, and GPs have a (justifiable) weary scepticism about any self-diagnoses offered by medical students and junior doctors.
True to form, my GP tilted his head to one side and asked, "And what makes you think that?" in a mildly patronizing tone.
"This does," I said, rolling up my sleeve and laying my remarkable forearm on his desk.
"Ah," he said. "I'll just write you a script for some erythromycin."

Grant Hutchison

PetersCreek
2014-Oct-23, 10:43 PM
THIRD, you denied any medical knowledge and then displayed it!

Ah, but I made no such denial. We medical admin types received some fundamental training in A&P and medical terminology and were further exposed to it on a continuing basis. In that context, when I admitted to being medical admin, he understood that I was not a doctor, nurse, medical technician, nor any other specialty that provided direct patient care, but that I was in a related medical field. And similar to what Grant mentioned, that's probably why he rolled his eyes. He must've thought I was an under-informed clerk with a bit of jargon in his head who was trying to self-diagnose. Mind you, if I'd been wrong that is precisely how it would have looked.