View Full Version : Crooks are stupid.

2005-Feb-25, 05:34 PM

This one had me nearly in tears, and we desperately need a laugh in here.

2005-Feb-25, 11:03 PM
last week, here in Olympia, someone was on trial for driving while under the influence of heroin. during the lunch break of their trial, they got busted for selling drugs to an undercover cop.

what makes this especially funny is that, given the location of the courthouse (down the street from my apartment, in a primarily residential area interspersed w/state offices), the person in question was almost certainly still on courthouse grounds.

2005-Feb-26, 05:12 PM
Another favorite (http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/7242_1255601,00180008.htm):
"...suspect bragged about the crime on a radio talk show...[FBI] agents traced the phone..."

2005-Feb-26, 06:25 PM
Here are some other stories (http://www.dumbcriminalacts.com/criminals.php?site=criminals)

2005-Feb-27, 07:18 AM
Without delving to deep into the link that Sticks provided, I have a couple stories that might be in there.

A couple comes back from a camping trip and leave their RV parked in their barn. Later in the night, the husban hears someone in the barn where the RV was parked. He called the police and waited for them to respond. When the police arrived, they walked into the barn together searching for the trespasser. The trespasser had left, but he left behind a hose protruding from a tank in the RV that the officer naturally assumed was the gas tank, and a puddle of vomit next to the hose. Assuming that the thief was out to siphen (sp) gas from the tank and got nausious from the gas, the officer said he would try to locate the thief. The owner of the RV (laughing) explained that the thief didn't get gas from the tank, but rather raw sewage from the septic. The crook opened the wrong tank.

Another one I heard about just recently in the news was about three or four guys that thought it would be funny to streak (run naked through) a Denny's. It was snowing outside and something like 5 degrees weather and these guys left their clothes in their car, which was running for a quick get away (I guess you really can't carry your keys anywhere when you have no pockets :D ). A customer inside the Denny's decided to get back at them and while the streakers were busy running through the place, the customer stole their car. You can imagine their surprise when they ran outside and their car (and clothes are gone). When the police arrived, they found them huddled behide a parked car trying to stay warm.

Last one is one I heard years ago and I believe it happened in Los Angeles. About 4 people decided to rob a bank, and they must have been amatures because it went wrong from the start. On top of other stuff that happened, the only things that stuck out in my mind was that they wore maintenance shirts with their first names embroidered (sp) on them. But, that didn't matter because their get away car broke down outside the bank (which belonged to one of the crooks). Even worse, in their rush to escape they apparently forgot they left their wallets in their get away car complete with I.D.'s. :o ...:lol:...http://img116.exs.cx/img116/1231/z7shysterical.gif

2005-Feb-27, 01:39 PM
Yeah, these guys were pretty stupid - they could have headed down to the Netherlands to commit the crime, where the laws are much more friendly towards criminals. (http://www.expatica.com/source/site_article.asp?subchannel_id=1&story_id=16110&na me=criminals+can+deduct+costs+of+crime)

2005-Feb-27, 06:54 PM
Jay Leno frequently has "stupid crook" stories during the "Headlines" feature (typically on Mondays, about 15 minutes into the show).

My all-time #1 story concerned a crook who held up a bank, using a note handed to a teller demanding money . He got the teller's cash and fled the bank. He was arrested at his home several hours later. Seems he used the back of his preprinted bank deposit slip to write the note...... #-o

2005-Feb-27, 10:22 PM
A couple comes back from a camping trip and leave their RV parked in their barn . . . .

this one's an urban legend, I'm afraid.

2005-Feb-28, 12:56 AM
A couple comes back from a camping trip and leave their RV parked in their barn . . . .

this one's an urban legend, I'm afraid.

Snopes.com doesn't have it listed as either false or true (Link (http://www.snopes.com/autos/theft/siphon.asp)), but states that it is an urban legend because it gets retold throughout the world as happening in different locations and circumstances (however, they do state that it would be unlikely for certain reasons). The first time I read it was in a "Galls" magazine. Galls is a police magazine and it usually has a section where they discuss funny calls that officers have received and it was in that article that I first read this story. The second time I read it was in a book called "America's Dumbest Criminals" (or one of it's sequels, I don't remember which) which details different officers funny criminal stories.

I'm not demanding that the story is in fact true, I'm just retelling a story that I've read from two different sources (other than internet :D ).

2005-Feb-28, 10:40 AM
Crooks that get caught are stupid. If they weren't stupid, you wouldn't hear about them.

2005-Feb-28, 01:46 PM
Let's not forget the classic story about the guy who got pulled over for speeding. The cop randomly looked into the car and pulled out a bag of white powder. The guy said, "That's not my cocaine." The cop responded, "Cocaine, is it?"