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space cadet
2005-Mar-26, 09:31 PM
These reviews on Amazon.com for The Princess Bride (the book, not the movie) are pretty funny.


I feel very cold towards Mr. Goldman, because now that he's made the abridgement, I can't seem to find an original copy anywhere, and most of the information he left out could have been very important to me. Even if he cut down 1,000 pages to 300, he left out some parts I would have enjoyed reading, for example, I am interested in medieval etiquette, and can rarely find that without at least one hundred pages I'm not interested in.

The original text by S. Morgensern was great, but I was upset about how much of it was cut out. I beleive everyone should read this book, but my advice to the easily annoyed: skip over the editor's dry remarks printed in italics. I don't beleive it's fair for Goldman to get credit for this book, because he took Morgensern's legacy and butchered it. Oh well, read it anyway folks.

This is one of the worst books I have ever read. I loved the movie and thought that the book would be better, but I was seriously wrong. When they mean the abridged version, they were not kidding. I was informed that the original story is close to 1,000 pages and this book is probably less than 300 pages if you got rid of the author's commentary which hinders the story most of the time. The author took so much away from the book when he abridged it that I felt disappointed when I finished the book. I would never have bought the book if I knew that was how it was going to be. If you want to read the Princess Bride, try getting the original by S. Morgenstern.

Goldman is a thief, and I'll see him in court.

W. Goldman has abridged this classic by omitting over 1000 pages of the original. If anyone has an available copy of the original by S. Morgenstern or knows somewhere to get it please email me!!! I would be much obliged. Thank You Very Much.

I find this book quite offensive. Mr. Goldman is certainly not the rediscoverer of Morgenstern's book, which was never really lost. Rather he has produced a film edited version that is proof that modern publishers and producers have no confidence in the intelligence of their readership. Bypass this abridgement and seek rather for the original masterpiece.

Goldman is getting credit and money for Morgenstern's great epic, when all he did was cut out of it. The book did, however, manage to keep most of its magic, though the unabridged is much better! Unfortunately, because Goldman put this copy into print, the original is no longer available. You'd have to go to a used or even antique book store to get a copy. Not even most libraries carry an original copy.






For those of you who have read the book... by the time you'd finished it, did you still believe in S. Morgenstern? I have to admit I was fooled for a few chapters before I finally realized that the whole "abridgement of the original" concept was really just a clever and amusing gimmick. The idea that the "original" was over a thousand pages long and was written by a Florinese guy named S. Morgenstern is as much a part of the story as anything else in the book.

For some weird reason this really cracks me up. But I must admire their determination to seek out the original editon of this classic peice of literature, and wish them a heart-felt "good luck."

space cadet
2005-Mar-26, 09:52 PM
And here's a smart aleck reviewer who decided to play along with Goldman's little game...


I've read several reviews on this site taking Mr. Goldman to task for editing S. Morgenstern's classic, The Princess Bride. Please allow me to set the record straight.

S. Morgenstern is a distant relation of mine. It had been very difficult in my early years, trying to explain to others about my Florinese heritage, when Florin is so little known and almost never taught in school (just try to search for it on the web--shameful--there's even a fringe group that claims Florin never existed at all)! Thankfully, all of that changed when Goldman wrote his book and even moreso with the release of the delightful film version in 87. Now, I have something to refer to, and even more than that, a family legacy to really be proud of. I am certain that Gilder-Americans feel much the same way, no matter how their anti-defamation league has taken Goldman, et al, to task over their supposed "racist portrayal."

You see, I have one of the few extant copies of the original Princess Bride, all leather-bound, gilded, thousand pages of it. And it is dull. I mean, DULL. My mother had to prod me for years before I finally read the thing through. Goldman did the world a favor by abridging it into such a wonderful novel (the Florinese are not known for their brevity) and my family a tremendous favor by giving fame to my ancestor that he does not, honestly, quite deserve.

People have asked me before whether I intend on ever suing for any share of the proceeds of the book or movie. Again, I'd like to clear the air by saying that Mr. Goldman tracked my parents down quite some time ago and made arrangments with them prior to the release of the novel. Mr. Goldman didn't want that made public; I hope that he will overlook my disclosure because I just want the Goldman-bashing to stop.

So, to all of those who've enjoyed this abridgment, I thank you as a scion of S. Morgenstern, but direct you to thank William Goldman all the more. For those who cry injustice at his abridgment, I ask you to stop: it's better this way. Believe me.


*dies laughing*

Grey
2005-Mar-27, 12:17 AM
I wonder how many of those reviews were serious, and how many were just playing along with the game.

Oh, and both the film and the book are among my all-time favorites!

space cadet
2005-Mar-27, 12:33 AM
I'm pretty sure most of the one and two-star reviews posted above are serious. If these individuals hate the book enough to give it only one star, surely they could have expressed their negative oppinions on the "S. Morgenstern" gimmick rather than choosing to go on supporting the illusion.

On the other hand, the more positive review by the smart aleck is certainly tounge-in-cheek.

eddited for grammer

Andromeda321
2005-Mar-27, 12:41 AM
Hey does anyone know what happens when you write to the adress in the book if you want to read the unabridged love scene? I'm curious. :)

space cadet
2005-Mar-27, 12:52 AM
oh, i never thought of that. Maybe I should try it.

Grey
2005-Mar-27, 12:59 AM
I've never tried it, but a quick search on Google seems to say that this (http://smorgenstern.pkmoutl.net/reunion.html) is what you'll receive if you do. :D It even looks like part of the reason for its unavailability is NASA's need for Cadminium from Florin, so there's even an astronomy tie-in.

Lurker
2005-Mar-27, 01:13 AM
You see, I have one of the few extant copies of the original Princess Bride, all leather-bound, gilded, thousand pages of it. And it is dull. I mean, DULL. My mother had to prod me for years before I finally read the thing through. Goldman did the world a favor by abridging it into such a wonderful novel (the Florinese are not known for their brevity) and my family a tremendous favor by giving fame to my ancestor that he does not, honestly, quite deserve.
I would sternly ask that space cadet remove this offensive and fake review from this web site immediately. I ask you, how would it look if I made the totally unsubstantiated claim that I was related William Shakesphere and used that as an excuse to claim that Hamlet, one of the greatest plays ever written in the English language, was dull and almost impossible to wade through!! I say take this slanderous and offensive review off this web site NOW!!! [-(






















Oh come on... didn't anyone think for just a moment that I was serious?? :wink:

Moose
2005-Mar-27, 01:56 AM
I've never tried it, but a quick search on Google seems to say that this (http://smorgenstern.pkmoutl.net/reunion.html) is what you'll receive if you do. :D It even looks like part of the reason for its unavailability is NASA's need for Cadminium from Florin, so there's even an astronomy tie-in.

ROFL. Princess Bride. Best. Book. Ever.

Kebsis
2005-Mar-27, 02:00 AM
I dont get any of this

Lurker
2005-Mar-27, 02:27 AM
I dont get any of this
The book is written as though it's an abridged version of an earlier work. It's a literary device rather than truth.



Edited because I should never post without reading what I write. #-o

space cadet
2005-Mar-27, 03:02 AM
I dont get any of this

In a nutshell, The Princess Bride is to Fantasy as The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy is to Science Fiction. Unlike most fantasies, it doesn't take itself too seriously, which in my opinion is exactly what the genre needs.

Think about it-- your typical fantasy novel has reached the point where you feel like you're simply re-reading Tolkien. The first time around, it's great--I loved Lord of the Rings--but after reading several other novels from the same genre I found it to be incredibly redundant. The typical fantasy novel takes itself way to seriously and is so bloated and self-important that it makes me want to slip into a coma.

The Princess Bride is is like a breath of fresh air. It's not true satire because it doesn't openly ridicule the genre, but it's not afraid to laugh at itself either. Basically the gist of the story is as follows--a beautiful girl named Buttercup falls in love with a farmboy, who then goes off to seek his fortune and is reportedly killed by pirates. Five years later the prince of the land chooses Buttercup as his reluctant bride. Before the wedding, Buttercup is kidnapped by a trio of men who plan to blame her death on a rival country with the intent of starting a war.

Fortunately, Buttercup is rescued by a mysterious man in black who turns out to be her long-lost farmboy. Unfortunately, the evil prince is still intent on making Buttercup his bride, and the rest of the story is pretty much about how the two of them escape and live happily ever after.

Not a very original plot, to be sure... but its the WAY the story is told that makes it so brilliant. The characters are incredibly cliche (i.e. the wimpy, bighearted, slow-witted giant, the talented swordsman intent on revenge, the helpless damsel in distress) that you eventually realize that it all has to be intentional. At that point you can't help but adore the characters--it's like they're suddenly incredibly unique and intriuging BECAUSE they are so cliche. :P It's amazing how the author is able to pull that off.

Another giveaway that the story isn't really serious is the fact that every so often, the author uses modern references that would never be found in a typical fantasy novel (i.e. Wesley wears blue jeans, Australia is entirely inhabited by criminals.) But most notably, throughout the story, William Goldman keeps making silly references to this S. Morgenstern guy, giving the reader the impression that the book is actually an abridgement, skipping over all the typical fantasy novel drivel while leaving in all the "good parts." Of course this was intended as part of the satire, but apparently some readers thought it was real, hence the angry reviews on amazon.com.

Lurker
2005-Mar-27, 04:09 AM
Reading the book always reminded me of watching the TV show Get Smart when I was little. The characters in The Princess Bride are like Max and the gang, they are suppose to make you laugh at a tired genre and at yourself.


This castle is about to be stormed by a might army of a thousand Knights!!
Would you believe a hundred well armed knights!!

How about three very angry peasants.... :wink:

Moose
2005-Mar-27, 12:08 PM
How about three very angry peasants.... :wink:

... and a wheelbarrow.

(Don't forget the wheelbarrow.)

mythrealwriter
2005-Mar-27, 10:52 PM
I own the book and the movie, both are great, the movie is a little melodramatic but hey thats hollywood. I loved the book, it was great, I especially loved the part where Fesic had to learn how to fight with his fists.

weatherc
2005-Mar-27, 11:18 PM
How about three very angry peasants.... :wink:

... and a wheelbarrow.

(Don't forget the wheelbarrow.)

...and a holocaust cloak. It just wouldn't work without that.

Lurker
2005-Mar-28, 02:32 AM
How about three very angry peasants.... :wink:

... and a wheelbarrow.

(Don't forget the wheelbarrow.)

...and a holocaust cloak. It just wouldn't work without that.
Yeah... I forgot to count them among our assets...

A twisted group... I like that part!!! :P

rleyland
2005-Mar-28, 10:55 PM
How about three very angry peasants.... :wink:

... and a wheelbarrow.

(Don't forget the wheelbarrow.)

...and a holocaust cloak. It just wouldn't work without that.
Yeah... I forgot to count them among our assets...

A twisted group... I like that part!!! :P



Have fun storming the castle boys!

mike alexander
2005-Mar-29, 12:09 AM
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"


What a wonderful book.


And has anyone else out there read S. Morgenstern's other extant classic, The Silent Gondoliers?

Swift
2005-Mar-29, 02:12 PM
I dont get any of this

<skip>
The Princess Bride is is like a breath of fresh air. It's not true satire because it doesn't openly ridicule the genre, but it's not afraid to laugh at itself either. Basically the gist of the story is as follows--a beautiful girl named Buttercup falls in love with a farmboy, who then goes off to seek his fortune and is reportedly killed by pirates. Five years later the prince of the land chooses Buttercup as his reluctant bride. Before the wedding, Buttercup is kidnapped by a trio of men who plan to blame her death on a rival country with the intent of starting a war.

Fortunately, Buttercup is rescued by a mysterious man in black who turns out to be her long-lost farmboy. Unfortunately, the evil prince is still intent on making Buttercup his bride, and the rest of the story is pretty much about how the two of them escape and live happily ever after.



Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.
[pause]
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
:lol:

Gillianren
2005-Apr-29, 01:36 AM
And has anyone else out there read S. Morgenstern's other extant classic, The Silent Gondoliers?

yes! it's around here somewhere, like all my other books!

I've had to explain the joke to people, some of whom swear a FOAF of theirs owns a copy of the unabridged. I'm not so fond of chapter one of Buttercup's Baby, though.

the only thing about the movie adaptation is that they leave out my favorite line.


"I swear on the soul of Domingo Montoya you will reach the top alive."

[narrative bit I can't remember] "I do not know this Domingo of yours, but something in your tone says I must trust you. Throw me the rope."

Jpax2003
2005-Apr-29, 02:06 AM
My favorite line, among many, is when the man in black and Inigo Montoya face off man to man with this macho exchange:

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you"

"You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die."

sts60
2005-Apr-29, 03:44 PM
And, of course, the line handiest to a veteran BABBBSer (BABB Brute Squad member):

"You use that word a great deal. I do not think it means what you think it means." =D>

It's one of those brilliant movies that has remained more or less under the radar. I didn't know there was a book. Must get book!

Moose
2005-Apr-29, 04:28 PM
It's one of those brilliant movies that has remained more or less under the radar. I didn't know there was a book. Must get book!

Make sure you get the S. Morgenstern version. The Goldman abridgement is excellent, mind you, but Morgenstern's full wedding scene is not to be skipped. They really shouldn't have trimmed the priest's hilarious sermon as much as they did. "Mawwiage is what bwings us hewe today..."

Grey
2005-Apr-29, 04:51 PM
Make sure you get the S. Morgenstern version. The Goldman abridgement is excellent, mind you, but Morgenstern's full wedding scene is not to be skipped.
Isn't this where we came in? :D

Moose
2005-Apr-29, 05:28 PM
Make sure you get the S. Morgenstern version. The Goldman abridgement is excellent, mind you, but Morgenstern's full wedding scene is not to be skipped.
Isn't this where we came in? :D

Hey, it's worth a shot. :lol:

Staiduk
2005-May-01, 03:39 PM
I wonder if GLP has a 'S. morgenstern is real' thread somewhere? ;)