View Full Version : The Salary Theorem

2005-Apr-28, 01:51 PM
No offense to business majors or liberal arts majors around here folks. It's just a joke I got by e-mail, and should be taken as such:

It all makes sense now...

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives, sales people, accountants and especially liberal arts majors." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two well known postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time.

Since: Knowledge = Power,
then Knowledge = Work / Time,
and Time = Money,
then Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.


2005-Apr-28, 01:56 PM
You didn't mention one of his other "Logic" theorms.

Give that:
Knowledge Is Power
Power corrupts
Corruption is a crime
Crime doesn't pay

The more you know, the less money you have. That also seems to fit the expected results.

2005-Apr-28, 02:35 PM
The problem is not that simple. If work and knowledge both approach 0, then what? You need to apply L'hopital's rule, so the final result depends on the derivatives of the work and knowledge functions.

2005-Apr-28, 03:05 PM
When I was in the chorus (basso profundo) in college, we had a few pieces that we knew by heart just in case the audience called for an encore. We actually got to sing a few of them.

My favorite was called "Sophomoric Philosophy" by Raymond Dvorak. It concerned the tragedy of a Freshman who couldn't understand college, let alone life. He was taken under the wing of a wise, worldly Sophomore who helped him out of his troubles.

The above description formed the slow "recitative" of the first part.

The second part, sung rapidly by the chorus, related the "Philosophy of Life" as handed down by the Sophomore to the Freshman:

The more you study,
The more you know.
The more you know,
The more you forget.
The more you forget,
The less you know.
So, why study?

2005-Apr-28, 04:06 PM
If your outgo exceeds your income then your upkeep is your downfall.

2005-Apr-28, 04:48 PM
Is this related to the Women are Evil theorem?

Money is the root of all Evil.
Therefore, Evil = Money^2.

Women take Time and Money.
Therefore Women = Time * Money.

Time is Money.
Therefore Time = Money.
Therefore Women = Money*Money
Or, Women = Money^2.

We already established that Evil = Money^2,
Evil = Money^2 = Women.

Therefore Evil = Women.

2005-Apr-28, 09:38 PM
so . . . I'm both broke and a liberal arts major. how does that work?

apparently, I also read too fast--this post delayed while the system decides it hasn't been too short a time since my last post.