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peter eldergill
2005-Sep-29, 02:16 AM
I tell this joke to my senior algebra class after teaching some vector stuff...tell me what you think

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a monkey?

A: elephant monkey sine theta

The usual response, besides hyterical laughter from me and one other person..."Sir, you are such a geek"

Later

Pete

m13_higgs
2005-Sep-29, 02:50 AM
I get it!! HA HA HA HA !!!

Mellow
2005-Sep-29, 11:35 AM
OK, so I'm poor enough at Algebra to not get that puppy.

Candy
2005-Sep-29, 11:52 AM
OK, so I'm poor enough at Algebra to not get that puppy.
Elephant banana sine theta (http://www.anvari.org/shortjoke/EmailJoke_Set_8/3351.html)

Elephant banana sine theta in a direction mutually perpendicular to the two
as determined by the right hand rule." :)

Moose
2005-Sep-29, 11:52 AM
Take two vectors, elephant and monkey, and cross-product them. Depending on the scalar length of elephant and monkey, the range of points of the resulting describes a circle.

(Someone else can explain this part better (read: more accurately) than I can, linear algebra was mean to me in college. Lousy linear algebra.)

Anyway, the radius of the circle can be described as r = elephant*monkey*sin(theta).

It's a useful formula for chewing 3D rotations in computer graphics.

Swift
2005-Sep-29, 01:33 PM
I knew that monkeys were vectors from a virology point of view, I didn't know they were mathematically vectors.

JohnD
2005-Sep-29, 10:15 PM
IMHO, a rather better joke was recently voted the 'Best Religious Joke' on a (vaugely) religious website. If you want more,plenty on http://www.shipoffools.com/Features/2005/10_funny.html .

"I was walking across a bridge the other dayand I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said, "Don't do it."

"Well there so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Are you religious?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too. Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too. Are an Episcopalian or a Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow! Me too! Are you a Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God"
"Me too. Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said,"Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."

I said, "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off the bridge.

Joff
2005-Sep-29, 10:34 PM
I knew that monkeys were vectors from a virology point of view, I didn't know they were mathematically vectors.Maybe the joke would work even better crossing a monkey with a mosquito.

JohnD, my favourtie semi-religious joke is about the guy lost in Northern Ireland, parks and goes to walk into a shop when a bunch of young hoodlums surrounds him.

"Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?"
"I'm a Jew"

Confusion in the ranks - the young toughs have a brief consultation.

"So, are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"

(better if you can do the accent, and fortunately getting dated nye now).

SeanF
2005-Sep-30, 01:54 PM
Maybe the joke would work even better crossing a monkey with a mosquito.

JohnD, my favourtie semi-religious joke is about the guy lost in Northern Ireland, parks and goes to walk into a shop when a bunch of young hoodlums surrounds him.

"Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?"
"I'm a Jew"

Confusion in the ranks - the young toughs have a brief consultation.

"So, are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"

(better if you can do the accent, and fortunately getting dated nye now).
I had a priest tell a somewhat similar joke to that during his homily a few years ago.

A Catholic man was walking down a city street in Ireland when he was suddenly grabbed and pulled into an alley. He felt a gun barrel pushed into the back of his head, and a voice hissed in his ear, "Are you Catholic, or are you Protestant?"

He knew he was liable to get his head blown off either way so, thinking quickly, he said, "I guess I'm pretty lucky - I'm Jewish."

The voice in his ear said, "You're lucky?! I must be the luckiest Arab terrorist in all of Ireland!"

sts60
2005-Sep-30, 03:53 PM
If you're going to toss out religious jokes, here's an old one. Rather topical, I suppose...

A guy listens to flood warnings on the radio and TV, but decides he'll ride it out. A National Guard truck pulls up in front and the soldiers tell him to hop on, but he smiles and says, "No, thank you, the Lord will take care of me." The truck moves on, the waters rise, and he's forced to go upstairs. After a while, a fire dept. boat pulls up level with his 2nd-floor windows and they tell him to get in. Again, "No, thank you, I have faith the Lord will see me through." The boat goes, the waters rise, he's forced onto the roof. A Coast Guard helicopter comes over, but he waves them off, smiling and pointing to Heaven. The waters rise over the roof; he can't swim.

He comes back to consciousness in Heaven. As he's being fitted for his wings, he spots God and says, "Lord, I'm happy to be here, but I had such faith you'd come to my aid..."

God rolls his eyes and says, "Look, I sent you a truck, a boat, and a helicopter. What more do you want!?"

sts60
2005-Sep-30, 03:55 PM
And if you want geek jokes, there's always the one that ends, "First, assume a spherically symmetric chicken..."

2005-Sep-30, 05:16 PM
All you can eat Science Jokes (http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/index.html).

peter eldergill
2005-Sep-30, 05:23 PM
Here's another great math joke:

An engineer, a chemist and a mathemetician are stuck on a desert island and only have one can of food, but no can opener.

Well, to get the can open, the engineer says "If we bend that small tree over, attach the can of food to the end of the tree and let it go, the tree will give the can enough kinetic energy to smash it open and we can have our dinner!"

The chemist then says: "I've a better idea. We'll start a fire, put the can on the fire, and it will build up enough internal pressure to blow the can open..."

Then the mathemetician says..."Okay, assume the can is open...."

Ha! My Algebra students usually get a kick out of that one

L8R

Pete

hippietrekx
2005-Oct-01, 03:37 AM
The usual response, besides hyterical laughter from me and one other person..."Sir, you are such a geek"

I'd say I'd have to be that one other person. My Pre-Calculus teacher always has what the other eight students think are corny jokes. Anywho, sometimes I wind up being the one telling a seemingly obvious joke or spinning off a pun from the textbook, and my teacher is the only on that laughs. Mr. Brown and I often get called geeky, too.

I wonder why so few students find math humorous...

--hipster

ZaphodBeeblebrox
2005-Oct-01, 04:15 AM
Not Sure, If This, Has Been Posted, on the Board, Before:

An Atom, Walks Into a Bar, And The Bartender Says, "Hey Buddy, you're Loookin' Sad, What's Wrong?"

The Atom, Replies, "I Lost an Electron, Today!"

"Are you Sure?"

"I'm POSITIVE!!!"

:p

Laminal Cockroach
2005-Oct-01, 12:16 PM
:clap:
Then the mathemetician says..."Okay, assume the can is open...."

Omg That is too funny :clap: :D Im so sure my math teacher would say the same in the above situation :D :shhh:

there this funny one too A physicist had a horseshoe hanging on the door of his laboratory. His colleagues were surprised and asked whether he believed that it would bring luck to his experiments. He answered: "No, I don't believe in superstitions. But I have been told that it works even if you don't believe in it."

JohnD
2005-Oct-02, 01:20 PM
All,
Apologies. I should have credited the Bridge Joke (See above) to Emo Phillips.

Sorry,Emo.

John