View Full Version : Snappy Answers

2006-Aug-14, 05:36 AM
If you’re old enough, you may remember, in Mad Magazine, Al Jaffe’s Snappy answers to stupid questions. I’d like to try it with a bit of a twist. Instead of stupid questions, let’s try common questions about science and technology.

Post a question and a snappy answer. Alternatively, try to one-up someone else’s answer(s) to his own question.

Some examples to kick it off:

Q: What’s the difference between astronomy and astrology?
A: One is a path that can lead to fame and fortune while the other leads only to fame.
A: There are degrees of separation.
A: You can get a B.S in one while the other is B.S.

Q: Will Jupiter ever become a star?
A: He’s got no talent. But who can tell? You kids and your music…
A: Is there a couch big enough for the “audition”?
A: He had a promising start but now he seems to be just going in circles.

Q: Why don’t I fall off the Earth since it’s spinning?
A: Chuck Norris…’nuff said.

Eric Vaxxine
2006-Aug-14, 11:46 PM
I remember snappy answers to stupid questions ...

How come I remember it?

2006-Aug-15, 12:05 AM
Is that a string tied around your finger? Or just an experiment with gangrene?

Eric Vaxxine
2006-Aug-16, 11:07 PM
Obviously I am isolating my blood.

Do cats know they have nine lives?

Peter Wilson
2006-Aug-18, 04:42 PM
How would I know? I've never been a cat.

What's the largest meteor that could hit the earth?

2006-Aug-18, 09:01 PM
On land, elephants are the meatiest, but overall, whales are even meteor.

Should Pluto be a planet?

2006-Aug-18, 09:57 PM
What, being a pet for the world's most famous mouse isn't enough?

Can "Preparation A" save us from asteroids?

Peter Wilson
2006-Aug-21, 11:06 PM
That's for teenagers, not rock-stars.

Can a space elevator be built all the way to the moon?

2006-Aug-22, 03:48 AM
Bend over and I'll take some measurements.

Why are STS missions always delayed?

2006-Aug-22, 12:40 PM
Because STS actually stands for "Shuttles Travel Sporadically"

Why is Earth round?

2006-Aug-27, 07:51 PM
Who said it was Wrounde? That's a rock group: http://launch.yahoo.com/track/22455672

Don't you know your music?

2006-Sep-12, 08:23 PM
No, but my impresario always has these lyrics print-outs so it's a non-issue.

Is that a telescope in your back yard?

2006-Sep-12, 09:01 PM
No, I'm just happy to see you.

Is that Mercury up in the sky?

2006-Sep-12, 09:56 PM
Yeah, probably as high as Don Camillo's opinion of Peppone.

Can I see M31 from my kitchen window?

2006-Sep-14, 07:08 AM
And Rome? Da! (Andromeda)

Can you see Uranus with a mirror?

2006-Sep-14, 07:52 AM
I can see yours if you can see mine.

Is that a shuttle docked to your bike?

2006-Sep-14, 03:27 PM
My favorite from the book was the "Are you a magician?" bit. To long for here though.

My favorite short one:

Guy walking thru the edge of the surf, coming up the beach. Lady asks "Went for a morning swim heh?"

His snappy answer:

"No, I just strolled over from Europe."

2006-Sep-15, 12:55 PM
A neighbor visting our house and seeing all my books asked why I had so many books that said Einstein?

I study the history of relativity, I responded.

He then asked: Well.. how far back does your family tree go?