View Full Version : How many astronomers

2007-Jul-02, 03:53 AM
does it take to change a light bulb?

Roy Batty
2007-Jul-02, 01:37 PM
None, they prefer the lights out :)

2007-Jul-02, 04:20 PM
How many lightbulbs does it take to screw an astronomer?

2007-Jul-02, 06:48 PM
Just three, provided they are orbiting each other.

Peter Wilson
2007-Jul-02, 10:17 PM
How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
I give up.

How many?

2007-Jul-02, 10:40 PM
How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

30,001:-One to do the actual changing, the other 30,000 to argue about whether or not the old light bulb should now be re-classified as a minor planet.

2009-Jul-09, 08:40 PM
About 10! Someome fills in the grant request,
another checks it, a third signs it, a forth
walks to the postbox, a fifth delivers it (an
amateur doing the day job), a sixth, seventh
an eighth debate it and a ninth OKs it.

The electrician thinks about grbs!

2009-Jul-09, 09:38 PM
None. They've waited 2 years to change the light bulb (look at thread date), they're not going to bother now. ;)

2009-Jul-09, 10:46 PM
Depends on if the bulb is red or white.

2009-Jul-12, 11:57 AM
Wouldn't that depend on the speed of the observer?

2009-Jul-12, 12:24 PM
30,000, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

2009-Jul-12, 01:35 PM
Change begins within.

2009-Jul-15, 12:59 AM
None. The light bulb's diaper didn't need changing. How I wish my kids in their early years had been more like that light bulb.

2009-Jul-15, 07:29 AM
Light bulbs have diapers? Are they made of asbestos?

2009-Jul-15, 03:06 PM
Light bulbs have diapers? Are they made of asbestos?
No, light bulbs are usually made out of glass, metal, and ceramic.

2009-Jul-15, 05:58 PM
Usually? What are the exceptions made of then?

2009-Jul-15, 07:28 PM
Well first they would have to calculate the redshift to determine their distance from the bulb. Find the characteristics and spectrum of the bulb so it can be classified. Build a satellite to study the bulb for an extended period of time and map out any fluctuations and irregularities. The data from said satellite would then need to be analysed and fed into computer generated diagrams to create a 3 dimensional map of the bulb. Artists would then be requested at this time to depict the current state of the bulb, usually with some fantastic display and rich colours. Finally a public announcement will be conducted regarding the great discovery and explain how and why the bulb burnt out giving full credit to the lead researchers. A government program will then be started to do a full investigation on the best course of action to change the bulb without endangering any personal. After spending millions of dollars on the program no real conclusion will be able to be found. The investigation program closed and a formal contest will be held for publicly held corporations to bid on. The grant will then be given to the corporation that gave the most perks and kickbacks to the government. The corporation will then bank countless hours against the light bulb issue, creating numerous designs, inventions and discoveries (to be used on other projects). After years of bleeding money from the project, the government will request a recommendation to the light bulb issue. The corporation will then submit thousands of pages of documentation explaining the years of work involved, including beautifully coloured charts, power point presentations, the computer generated mappings, artist renderings, and publicly available information from the internet. The government will then take this great documentation and create another insight committee which will review the files and make a recommendation that the bulb be changed. This recommendtion will then be handed off and turned into a formal request. The request will be routed to the governments supply department that will check for viable stock for the requested bulb. Because the request has taken so long the request bulb type will not be able to be found and the request denied. In insight committee, seeing that the bulb is for the scientific community will then recommend a grant be submitted to re-wire the entire building that the bulb burnt out in so that it can be upgraded to match the current stock that the government has available.

2009-Jul-16, 02:35 PM
A standard candle (as one would buy from a chandler) would be preferable to another bulb. Also, it is a virtue to star-hop to the socket rather than using go-to.

2009-Jul-16, 04:16 PM
The bulb might have been worth changing in the sixties, but what makes you think it's worth changing now?

2009-Jul-17, 02:10 AM
Because now we can make better lightbulbs than we could then that will last longer.

2009-Jul-17, 11:47 PM
It's proportional to how light the bulb is.

2009-Jul-17, 11:57 PM
Clearly three:

One who specializes in cosmic waiste detection,

One who can handle the offensive characteristics of space junk,

And one who can change the diaper.

2009-Jul-18, 04:24 AM
None. Turn off the light, HAL. HAL?

mike alexander
2009-Jul-18, 10:45 PM
Change a light bulb into what?

2009-Jul-19, 10:18 PM
Define "it".

2009-Jul-19, 11:50 PM
The light is still there, someone just decided to call it a dwarf bulb.

2009-Jul-20, 05:35 PM
None, astronomy professors do not change light bulbs, that's what students are for.

It would take 1.3 post-docs, 3 graduate students, or 5 undergrads.

Or 3 seconds of the department secretary's time.

2009-Jul-20, 06:08 PM
Oh come now, it is not light theory that needs reunification with electromagnetic theory, it is a broader reconceptualization that with unify the invariant constructs of photon emission with the transparent properties of walls.

2009-Jul-20, 06:15 PM
Ahh! You've got the job!

2009-Jul-20, 06:32 PM
Good excuse to knock out the ceiling and make a proper observatory.


2009-Jul-21, 03:34 AM
Or 3 seconds of the department secretary's time.

Does that violate union rules?

2010-Jun-12, 10:32 PM
I guess this must be the thread Swift was talking about here (http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php/99017-How-many-BAUTizens-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb).