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View Full Version : Have you ever had a frenemy??



Paracelsus
2007-Aug-27, 09:10 PM
Via CNN.com: http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/08/24/frenemies/index.html


# Story Highlights
# "Frenemy" describes females who tangle with female friends
# Women more likely to have love-hate relationships than men
# Expert: Men quicker to dump negative friendships
# If you have a frenemy, you need a support network


I had a friend (my best girlfriend as it so happened) who became a 'frenemy'. That 'frenemy' stage lasted for about as long as it took me to figure out that the friendship was over--after which time, she and I became just plain, old enemies.

Anybody else have this experience?

Doodler
2007-Aug-27, 09:40 PM
Honestly not trying to sound gender discriminant, this is definitely something I see almost exclusively in women. Even then, I do know a lot of women who know when to disassociate themselves from someone who abrades them. So I'm not saying "all women have frenemies", but "all the frenemies I know are women".

Guys reach a certain level of mutual annoyance, then you have to keep'em apart or they'll kill each other.

The Backroad Astronomer
2007-Aug-27, 09:56 PM
I actually had a male frenemy.

The_Radiation_Specialist
2007-Aug-27, 10:36 PM
There are 2 ways guys deal with annoying "friends" in my experience: Ignoring or a good fist-fight.

Its an unwritten law to always accept a fist fight even if you know you're gonna get a black eye.

The Backroad Astronomer
2007-Aug-27, 10:38 PM
I went as to work late at night when no one was around.

Neverfly
2007-Aug-27, 11:40 PM
I went as to work late at night when no one was around.

Could you translate that?

The Backroad Astronomer
2007-Aug-27, 11:57 PM
I went to work when no one was around.

Ronald Brak
2007-Aug-28, 12:00 AM
In general, men tend to have obvious conflict with each other quite often but also make up more easily than women, even if it's only to form an alliance against a new enemy. Women have less obvious conflict but when they do have a falling out they often find it harder to make up.

NOTE WELL: The preceeding paragraph is a broad generalization only and not really applicable to individuals.

The_Radiation_Specialist
2007-Aug-28, 12:05 AM
*waits for angry comments from women*

Neverfly
2007-Aug-28, 12:08 AM
Or R.A.F.

Doodler
2007-Aug-28, 12:15 AM
I actually had a male frenemy.

Well, won't say its impossible, but then most of the guys I'm around are either alpha personalities or rednecks.

There aren't many sustained truces around them...

Whirlpool
2007-Aug-28, 12:18 AM
NOTE WELL: The preceeding paragraph is a broad generalization only and not really applicable to individuals.


Understood.

;)

The Backroad Astronomer
2007-Aug-28, 12:28 AM
The general the situation was there was guy who a lot people described as a word starting with the letter a, liked a girl. The girl told him she did not like him because he was a well...

Neverfly
2007-Aug-28, 12:32 AM
The general the situation was there was guy who a lot people described as a word starting with the letter a, liked a girl. The girl told him she did not like him because he was a well...

Can you translate that?

Neverfly
2007-Aug-28, 12:33 AM
Ok, what does this have to do with going to work late?
Cmon david work with me here! Before I enroll you in a beauty contest.

sarongsong
2007-Aug-28, 12:47 AM
"The frenemy of my frenemy is my frenemy." http://www.bautforum.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

The Backroad Astronomer
2007-Aug-28, 12:58 AM
Well neverfly I will try to explain better later.

Doodler
2007-Aug-28, 01:05 AM
"The frenemy of my frenemy is my frenemy." http://www.bautforum.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

I think we have a contender for the UN's new motto...

phaishazamkhan
2007-Aug-28, 01:59 AM
I'm not surprised and a word like frenemy sounds like a word that a woman would make up.
Plus women are the type of individual who strings a guy along, hints at possible romance then "LOL JUST FRENZ" and start the same passive-aggressive Stupid Hysterical Immature Tantrums all over again.
Men are way less complicated. A guy doesn't like you either he steals your woman, which leads you to thanking him then pitying him, or he punches your lights out.

Whirlpool
2007-Aug-28, 02:17 AM
Plus women are the type of individual who strings a guy along, hints at possible romance then "LOL JUST FRENZ" and start the same passive-aggressive Stupid Hysterical Immature Tantrums all over again.

Umm.. excuse me...

But...

that is .."way out of line"..

:neutral:

sarongsong
2007-Aug-28, 04:00 AM
A Colorado Rocky Mountain low!

Whirlpool
2007-Aug-28, 04:14 AM
:think:

I think he's bitter because of something...





"Try and Try until you succeed" :whistle:

pilgrim
2007-Aug-28, 11:05 AM
I'm not surprised and a word like frenemy sounds like a word that a woman would make up.
Plus women are the type of individual who strings a guy along, hints at possible romance then "LOL JUST FRENZ" and start the same passive-aggressive Stupid Hysterical Immature Tantrums all over again.
Men are way less complicated. A guy doesn't like you either he steals your woman, which leads you to thanking him then pitying him, or he punches your lights out.

So, um, what do you really think on the subject?

More seriously, saying 'women are the type of individual...' is a contradiction in terms (how can you be individual if this applies to an entire group?) not to mention sweeping generalisation.

As for frenemy, I haven't had those since I was a kid. Then again, I hang around with a lot of guys and the female friends I have are usually used to male friends more, too.

But I am reminded of a quote I read once: "Men have a lot lower expectation of their palls. 'Who cares if he spits, belches, has a vocabular that consists of 7 words, 6 of which are swearing, etc, he's my old buddy from school' kind of thing. Women pick female friends a lot more carefully. First they make a model they consider perfect (usually themself) and then they reject anyone less than 90% identical to the model, with the option of correcting the remaining 10% discrepancy to their deal." It made me laugh.

Delvo
2007-Aug-28, 11:51 AM
If they're so careful in picking them, then how do they still so often end up with so-called "friends" who turn out to be enemies?

pilgrim
2007-Aug-28, 12:20 PM
If they're so careful in picking them, then how do they still so often end up with so-called "friends" who turn out to be enemies?

Don't forget the pesky 10%

Whirlpool
2007-Aug-28, 12:21 PM
Umm.. I think it depends.

For me , I don't think men & women are different from each other when it comes to friendship.
We choose our friends carefully because they are "friends" . We share common interest, we enjoy each other company , we keep each other secrets, we help and support each other when problem comes.

And its the same with men I suppose.

I speak for myself , and how I see it through my dad. He has friends since high school until now that they are old.

Friendship is tested through time. so if there is something happen that shakes the friendship , it will really depends on how deep is the friendship is.

If friendship has a good and firm foundation, I dont think it will take an earthquake of problem to destroy it that will end them as "enemies".

Neverfly
2007-Aug-28, 12:25 PM
Some of my best friends started out as enemies.

But I can't say I've ever had a friend turn into an enemy.

Ive had friends fade away...

Doodler
2007-Aug-28, 12:57 PM
I'm not surprised and a word like frenemy sounds like a word that a woman would make up.
Plus women are the type of individual who strings a guy along, hints at possible romance then "LOL JUST FRENZ" and start the same passive-aggressive Stupid Hysterical Immature Tantrums all over again.
Men are way less complicated. A guy doesn't like you either he steals your woman, which leads you to thanking him then pitying him, or he punches your lights out.

Dr. Doodler recommends a night at the nudie bar with no less than $300 in your pocket.

Back on the subject, I think the frenemy concept comes from a fairly recent development in human behavior. No one wants to be the one to hurt someone else's feelings anymore, so you get this kind of indecisive relationship where you're miserable around them, but you're not willing to make the cold decision to tell them to go to hell and hand them directions.

Just my $.02, I see a general tendency towards guys doing it more in a work environment, where women are more generally inclined. Yeah, there are people I've worked with I'd sooner cut myself someplace sensitive than hang out with, but when its keeping the peace so I can collect a paycheck, my pride can take the punishment. I've seen ladyfriends of mine tie themselves in emotional knots inside being around people they don't like, but they don't want to be the one to make a stink out of it, and they don't want to be the ones to move on when it gets ugly both in work and social environments..

pilgrim
2007-Aug-28, 01:13 PM
Dr. Doodler recommends a night at the nudie bar with no less than $300 in your pocket.

Back on the subject, I think the frenemy concept comes from a fairly recent development in human behavior. No one wants to be the one to hurt someone else's feelings anymore, so you get this kind of indecisive relationship where you're miserable around them, but you're not willing to make the cold decision to tell them to go to hell and hand them directions.

Just my $.02, I see a general tendency towards guys doing it more in a work environment, where women are more generally inclined. Yeah, there are people I've worked with I'd sooner cut myself someplace sensitive than hang out with, but when its keeping the peace so I can collect a paycheck, my pride can take the punishment. I've seen ladyfriends of mine tie themselves in emotional knots inside being around people they don't like, but they don't want to be the one to make a stink out of it, and they don't want to be the ones to move on when it gets ugly both in work and social environments..

Most my friends (and I do that usually, too) have an attitude of making up their mind whether they like you or not on first impression and then rarely change it afterwards. I'm not saying it's the best approach but I always know where I stand with them. They would have no moral issues with telling someone they don't want around to go away and I've seen them do it, so I know my company is appreciated. Guess I got kind of lucky they took to me.

Neverfly
2007-Aug-28, 01:15 PM
Most my friends (and I do that usually, too) have an attitude of making up their mind whether they like you or not on first impression and then rarely change it afterwards. I'm not saying it's the best approach but I always know where I stand with them. They would have no moral issues with telling someone they don't want around to go away and I've seen them do it, so I know my company is appreciated. Guess I got kind of lucky they took to me.

That's dumb.

pilgrim
2007-Aug-28, 01:25 PM
That's dumb.

True, but it saves time :D

More seriously, I've usually been right about my first impressions of a person, and in cases where I was wrong I have revised my opinion. But like I say, if the first impression was right, why mess with it?

phaishazamkhan
2007-Aug-28, 01:30 PM
Ooh, fight ad hominem with ad hominem Whirlpool because my opinion on most women doesn't match yours. Plus a portion of my comment was simply a work around to bypass the filter because I don't believe in shift-eight encryption.

Neverfly
2007-Aug-28, 01:34 PM
Ooh, fight ad hominem with ad hominem Whirlpool because my opinion on most women doesn't match yours. Plus a portion of my comment was simply a work around to bypass the filter because I don't believe in shift-eight encryption.

Get a girl;)

Doodler
2007-Aug-28, 01:46 PM
Ooh, fight ad hominem with ad hominem Whirlpool because my opinion on most women doesn't match yours. Plus a portion of my comment was simply a work around to bypass the filter because I don't believe in shift-eight encryption.

Not kosher, dude.

Whirlpool
2007-Aug-28, 01:48 PM
Ooh, fight ad hominem with ad hominem Whirlpool because my opinion on most women doesn't match yours. Plus a portion of my comment was simply a work around to bypass the filter because I don't believe in shift-eight encryption.


Well sorry about that.

But it didn't filtered in my eyes.

:neutral: