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View Full Version : Wild animals gone beserk - how would we handle them?



Maha Vailo
2007-Nov-11, 05:41 PM
Suppose, by some weird fluke of nature (or genetic engineering), some kind of wild animal (birds, squirrels, locusts, take your pick) suddenly went nuts and started attacking and eating people, how would we handle them in the real world? Would they be more vulnerable, less vulnerable, or about the same as their non-berserk colleagues?

- Maha Vailo

darkhunter
2007-Nov-11, 06:18 PM
IAW Harry Harrison's Deathworld, issue everyone firearms appropriate for the threat and train them on thier proper use... :)

soylentgreen
2007-Nov-11, 06:23 PM
Suppose, by some weird fluke of nature (or genetic engineering), some kind of wild animal (birds, squirrels, locusts, take your pick) suddenly went nuts and started attacking and eating people, how would we handle them in the real world? Would they be more vulnerable, less vulnerable, or about the same as their non-berserk colleagues?

- Maha Vailo

See BUG, THE SWARM, GRIZZLY, DAY OF THE ANIMALS, SQUIRM, FROGS, KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS, TICKS, BATS, NIGHTWING, LOCUSTS, NIGHT OF THE LEPUS, RAZORBACK, PIRANHA, THE BEES, SKEETER, THE BIRDS, SLUGS, BLACK SHEEP, FOOD OF THE GOODS, ANTS, PROPHECY and PHASE IV...on how NOT to handle the situation.

Without David Warner, Michael Caine or William Shatner to help, we might well be doomed.

I imagine, in a real world scenario, the human reaction would most likely be hasty and with a great disregard for any collateral environmental damage or future consequences. The movies don't have to teach me that.

Zombies, I'm prepared for(Thanks Mr. Brooks!). Combustible cockroaches or ants with a Stephen Hawking complex? Not so ready.

Noclevername
2007-Nov-11, 07:57 PM
Fortunately, unless humans get a whole lot tastier, we won't have to worry about it on a large scale. (some individual animals may become rabid and attack. But not all of them everywhere.)

BenM
2007-Nov-11, 08:02 PM
According to the Sci-Fi network, all you need to solve the problem is a ruggedly handsome, tough as nails military officer who has a problem with authority, a beautiful and brilliant young scientist whose unconventional theories have yet to be accepted by the scientific community, and a young, geeky computer genius who can make any electronic device surrender to his talents. Add a bunch of disposable red-shirt type marines and you're good to go no matter what animal poses a threat.

Personally, I'd stock up on a bunch of Holy Hand Grenades (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Hand_Grenade_of_Antioch).

Maha Vailo
2007-Nov-11, 09:48 PM
^ But those were movies (and bad ones at that). What I want to know is how would real-world humans fight off birds or insects gone horribly wrong. Would we use the same methods that we use to control non-human-attacking pests, or would the tactics have to be different?

- Maha Vailo

Noclevername
2007-Nov-11, 09:50 PM
^ Would we use the same methods that we use to control non-human-attacking pests, or would the tactics have to be different?

There are a wide variety of different methods used against pests and/or dangerous creatures, which ones specifically are you referring to?

JustAFriend
2007-Nov-12, 03:08 AM
Suppose, by some weird fluke of nature (or genetic engineering), some kind of wild animal (birds, squirrels, locusts, take your pick) suddenly went nuts and started attacking and eating people, how would we handle them in the real world? Would they be more vulnerable, less vulnerable, or about the same as their non-berserk colleagues?

- Maha Vailo

Apparently you are not old enough to have seen any news reports of any wild animals (or domestic like dogs/cats for that matter) that have contracted RABIES. Happens far less these days, but squirrels, foxes, raccoons, etc all become quite nasty in the final stages and will attach anyone they can.

Sheriffs and animal-control wardens often carry shotguns for a reason and it was a common duty for them to serve up the final coup-de-grace where I came from in farm country....

Swift
2007-Nov-12, 04:04 AM
^ But those were movies (and bad ones at that). What I want to know is how would real-world humans fight off birds or insects gone horribly wrong. Would we use the same methods that we use to control non-human-attacking pests, or would the tactics have to be different?

- Maha Vailo
But in the real-world thousands of birds, squirrels, etc. don't suddenly become crazy and attack humans. Its like asking how do we fight armies of zombies.

Still, the best defense is the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch (http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_pictures/grail/large/HolyGrail180.jpg).

Ronald Brak
2007-Nov-12, 05:32 AM
Fortunately Australia has worked out a plan for this eventuality as outlined in the book, Year of the Angry Rabbit, which details what happens when Australia is attacked by a plague of alsation sized carnivourous bunnys. The first thing that will be done is that everyone over the age of 80 will be drafted into the army. With modern lightweight weaponry you don't have to be very strong or fit to use it or even need to see well. And there is no need to march anywhere as the mutant animals will come to you. Drafting everyone over 80 has the added advantage that each casualty improves the liquidity of the pension system.

While the elderly serve as a rearguard, drovers will heard Australia's entire sheep population into the Tasman sea in two groups. As the merino wool soaks up the sea water it will create two enormous sea walls with a dry channel inbetween allowing the Australian population under 80 to walk across to New Zealand. The New Zealanders will be lulled into a false sense of security by the the sight of Australians carrying the emergency federal beer supply and promises that we're just popping round for the arvo. Then it's simply a simple matter of letting the New Zealanders rescue the sheep forming the sea walls, sealing off New Zealand from the mainland.

Note that if the it's the sheep that mutate and start attacking we go to plan B.

Maha Vailo
2007-Nov-12, 12:34 PM
Guys, I'm trying to get serious answers out of you folks. How would we seriously, in the real world, handle a plague of wild animals that suddenly attack us en masse, as opposed to one or two rabid ones? Would the real-world strategies used to handle a few rabid rabbits fail against a thousand berserk rabbits? If so, what strategies would we have to use in the real world (not movies or books, those are diffetrent).

C'mon folks, I expect better from a science forum.

- Maha Vailo

Noclevername
2007-Nov-12, 12:47 PM
If it happens, I'll wing it.

Doodler
2007-Nov-12, 01:00 PM
Suppose, by some weird fluke of nature (or genetic engineering), some kind of wild animal (birds, squirrels, locusts, take your pick) suddenly went nuts and started attacking and eating people, how would we handle them in the real world? Would they be more vulnerable, less vulnerable, or about the same as their non-berserk colleagues?

- Maha Vailo

Actually, we've had issues with squirrels here in DC/Maryland before. At least two people were hospitalized. The response, I believe, was to issue warnings about them, and I believe many were trapped, tested for rabies, then euthanized anyway.

captain swoop
2007-Nov-12, 02:24 PM
If it's small furry animals then i recommend wearing bycicle clips.

Swift
2007-Nov-12, 02:26 PM
Guys, I'm trying to get serious answers out of you folks. How would we seriously, in the real world, handle a plague of wild animals that suddenly attack us en masse, as opposed to one or two rabid ones? Would the real-world strategies used to handle a few rabid rabbits fail against a thousand berserk rabbits? If so, what strategies would we have to use in the real world (not movies or books, those are diffetrent).

C'mon folks, I expect better from a science forum.

- Maha Vailo
It is hard to take seriously because I can not image any set of circumstances, outside of bad Sci Fi channel movies, where this would happen. But if it did, I think bullets would work just fine.

Lianachan
2007-Nov-12, 05:10 PM
Fortunately, the only way any native and non berserk UK species can be dangerous to humans is if we choke on them.

(disclaimer - yes, I know about (and have seen umpteen) Adders)

Maha Vailo
2007-Nov-12, 05:48 PM
It is hard to take seriously because I can not image any set of circumstances, outside of bad Sci Fi channel movies, where this would happen. But if it did, I think bullets would work just fine.

What about genetically engineering creatures to be hostile towards animals and humans? Suppose somebody did that, and a few of them escaped and multiplied? What then?

Bullets may be fine against rabbits, but what about birds, locusts, snails, worms, or other small animals that can't easily be done in by bullets? Again, I say to you, what then?

- Maha Vailo

Noclevername
2007-Nov-12, 05:53 PM
What about genetically engineering creatures to be hostile towards animals and humans? Suppose somebody did that, and a few of them escaped and multiplied? What then?
- Maha Vailo

There are plenty of creatures now that are pretty unfriendly towards humans. We avoid them.

As for some kind of biological superweapon, it would make little sense to use macroscopic animals when bacteria and viruses multiply so much faster.

captain swoop
2007-Nov-12, 08:09 PM
Snails? just squish them! Unless they are engineered to be a hell of a lot faster!

Krel
2007-Nov-13, 02:29 AM
It depends upon what the species is, but just off the top of my head. Traps, poisons, gases, biological methods, firearms, explosives, and my favorite...Flamethrowers. :dance:

As soylentgreen pointed out, in a real world scenario, in a dire situation, collateral damage would not be a consideration.

David.

Ronald Brak
2007-Nov-13, 02:43 AM
Time is a defence. The psycho behaviour of the animals is not going to be a survival trait. The less psycho ones will produce more offspring and outbreed the killer varieties. Of course this could take a long time. But must animals won't be a great danger after the initial surprise attacks. Doors and windows are hard for animals without thumbs to break down and animals large enough to break doors are easy target for bullets fired by police, armed forces and private citizens. If smaller animals attack berserkly as in the movies then human bait inside an electrified mesh can take out many of them. Even if taken by surprise there aren't many animals left that can out fight or out think a screaming five foot ape.

formulaterp
2007-Nov-14, 01:58 AM
It depends upon what the species is, but just off the top of my head. Traps, poisons, gases, biological methods, firearms, explosives, and my favorite...Flamethrowers. :dance:


For cattle or deer, we would probably need assault rifles. Shotguns for most birds. Spiders can be easily handled with aerosol based insecticides. You could probably jerry-rig an integrated cigarette lighter if they figure out how to use their webs against us. Turtles? I dunno maybe something like a cordless drill.

JustAFriend
2007-Nov-14, 03:52 AM
It is hard to take seriously because I can not image any set of circumstances, outside of bad Sci Fi channel movies, where this would happen. But if it did, I think bullets would work just fine.

Reminds me of a bad drive-in movie I saw back in the dark ages when I was dating my wife:

Night of the Lepus (1972)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0069005/
Hordes of giant mutant rabbits terrorize everyone!

Another awful drive-in movie of the period was:

Food of the Gods (1971)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0074540/
Starring grown-up child televangelist Marjoe Gortner fighting waves of mutated animals.

They were SOOOOO bad....

It's not like this subject wasn't done to death in the bad sci-fi movies of the 50s and 60s. Grasshoppers in "Beginning of the End" (1957), ants in "Them" (1954), avians in Hitchcock's "The Birds" (1963), rats in "Willard" (1971) even wolves in "Wolfen" (1981) and on and on...

Vailo, you sound like you're trying to come up with a book or movie idea but it's really been done before.

Delvo
2007-Nov-14, 03:54 AM
We wouldn't need to wait generations for evolution. Aside from shooting, gassing, or burning them, we could just hunker down inside for a few days and then open the doors to go out and clean up the bodies after they've starved to death, died of heart attacks or strokes or whatever as a side effect of whatever made them ravenous in the first place, killed each other, fallen asleep/passed out so they're easier to kill, wandered off someplace else...

HenrikOlsen
2007-Nov-14, 06:13 AM
It is hard to take seriously because I can not image any set of circumstances, outside of bad Sci Fi channel movies, where this would happen. But if it did, I think bullets would work just fine.
I'm reminded of a place in one of my favorite games Postal 2, where there's a glass frame with the words "In case of polar bear Break Glass".
Inside is a rocket launcher.

As for masses of furry critters I'd go with Krel's suggestion, flamethrower.
Would probably work on cattle, deer and spiders as well.

Swift
2007-Nov-14, 06:34 PM
As for masses of furry critters I'd go with Krel's suggestion, flamethrower.
Would probably work on cattle, deer and spiders as well.
In grad school, my roommates and I would improvise flamethrowers from aerosol cans (deodorant worked fine) and lighters to kill spiders. The aerosol has to have a hydrocarbon propellant and it is a safer method if you live in a brick house.

Noclevername
2007-Nov-14, 06:55 PM
Leiningen Versus the Ants.

korjik
2007-Nov-14, 08:08 PM
If it happens, I'll wing it.

I doubt that would stop it. Shoot center of mass :)

Swift
2007-Nov-14, 08:36 PM
How do you handle when wild animals go berserk... video tape it and sell copies of the video on late night info-mercials!

WHEN ANIMALS GO WILD!!
Only $19.95 for VHS, $23.95 for DVD!
Order now and we'll also send you "WHEN BUNNIES GO WILD" and "WHEN INSECTS GO WILD"
Just call 1-800-WILD-BUN
Or visit the website www.berserkanimals.com

mike alexander
2007-Nov-14, 09:45 PM
Maybe we could merge two threads and get the zombies to suck out their brains.

Noclevername
2007-Nov-14, 09:55 PM
Merge three, have the animals attack the makers of the new Star Trek movie while zombies suck out their brains.

Krel
2007-Nov-14, 10:45 PM
Turtles? I dunno maybe something like a cordless drill.

Soup pots might be better. :whistle:

David.

HenrikOlsen
2007-Nov-19, 04:59 AM
Merge three, have the animals attack the makers of the new Star Trek movie while zombies suck out their brains.

Too late, getting their brains sucked out was a requirement for getting hired for the movie.

eburacum45
2007-Nov-19, 09:16 AM
This is an example of the sort of mayhem a single ferret can cause- imagine a swarm of them...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/leicestershire/3039021.stm