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BigDon
2008-Jun-22, 07:41 AM
So I was taking out the trash the other afternoon and while doing so saw a very pretty woman near my age walking down the alley with a malamute.

(Okay, folks keep blowing me guff over the identity of the various arctic dog breeds. This was a large, light gray and white "german shepard" with a curly tail.)

Anywho, as I was watching her leave I saw a rather interesting tableau.

My neighbor's chihuahua, who is ballsy out of all proportion to his size, found a way to escape his yard by going through a hole in the screening of one of those low rectangular vents in the garage.

Launched his himself and bit the malamute on the right buttock and hung on. This of course was utterly shocking to the larger dog, and after a second of stunned disbelief he was a furious whirlwind.

The chihuahua was unbelievable. The only reason he is still alive was the 'mute started spinning to the left and the smaller dog, hanging on to the larger dogs right buttock, was just a little too short for him to grasp the smaller dog. If he had spun in the other direction he would have crushed the chihuahua like a bug.

The chihuahua meanwhile, is in the "flying dog" position with his front legs folded, his ears flapping in the breeze, his tiny backside mere millimeters from a ravening toothstudded meat processor. And I kid thee not, the chihuahua was smiling!

The only reason the chihuahua lived, much less escaped all injury was the woman, after taking a bit longer than Fido in overcoming her surprise, began giving the dog commands in German that I recognize as that really expensive program that german shepards are put through as a worthiness to breed thing in some countries. The name escapes me at the moment.

The malamute must have earned his degree. The chihuahua had dropped off his butt finally and the malimute had the light of bloody murder in his eyes, I kid thee not!

The lady gave one command, the 'mute really, really didn't want to hear it and the lady repeated it with a tug and damned if she didn't locked his heels!

The malimute was so angry it was trembling! And she got it to heel and walked it down the alley close to her leg. But there was no way in hell she was physically restraining that dog. The malimute was walking all stiff like it was in a trance and twice it did a slow motion look over its shoudler at the chihuahua who had stayed near his garage.

When they were out of sight the chihuahua trotted back to his hole in the screen and I swear the darn dog was chuckling!

He won the fight!

hhEb09'1
2008-Jun-22, 12:12 PM
There's A Chinese Proverb In Here Somewhere Let's see, the chihuahua is the terrorists, the malamute is the USA, the lady is the elite effete snobs, BigDon is Rush Limbaugh. Is that close?

No, wait, I have a better one: When the big dog turns left, the small dog bites the right cheek.

mike alexander
2008-Jun-22, 04:56 PM
"Ren off medications again."

chrissy
2008-Jun-22, 07:52 PM
There's A Chinese Proverb In Here Somewhere

Turn the other cheek!
Size is no guarantee of strength!
Ninja chihuahua ! kicks butt (or bites in this case)

mugaliens
2008-Jun-22, 08:25 PM
If biting large butt, smile and hang on for the ride of your life.

mike alexander
2008-Jun-22, 08:59 PM
Size doesn't matter.

Maksutov
2008-Jun-22, 09:21 PM
Confucius say: Little dog "chew", big dog go "Wah wah!"

sarongsong
2008-Jun-22, 09:48 PM
"Before you beat a dog, find out who its master is."
Source (http://www.worldofquotes.com/proverb/Chinese/2/index.html): (Chinese)

chrissy
2008-Jun-22, 09:54 PM
why have a dog and bark yourself!

mike alexander
2008-Jun-22, 10:00 PM
It is not the size of the teeth, but the place the teeth are applied, that measures success.

chrissy
2008-Jun-22, 10:23 PM
dog thoughts:

*wheres that spring board gone*

chihuahua," should have gone to spec savers".

BigDon
2008-Jun-22, 10:29 PM
"Before you beat a dog, find out who its master is."
Source (http://www.worldofquotes.com/proverb/Chinese/2/index.html): (Chinese)

Nice one Sarong!

Maksutov
2008-Jun-22, 10:32 PM
Size doesn't matter.Yeah, and a wallet is just as good as a briefcase.

chrissy
2008-Jun-22, 11:40 PM
or it could be " its bite is worse than its bark"

mike alexander
2008-Jun-22, 11:56 PM
"Big dogs have little dogs
Upon their butts to bite 'em.
And the little dogs have lesser dogs,
And so on ad infinitum."

chrissy
2008-Jun-23, 12:02 AM
AH! but the flea has the last laugh.

BigDon
2008-Jun-23, 12:13 AM
Mike, superchihuahua weighs 7 pounds. He has an adorable little "wife" that weighs four and a half. Her coloration makes her look like a polymorphed doberman with a lightbulb-shaped head. She bites him on the ears when he tries to eat her food and he runs away.

I had to tell my neighbor he had a hole in the screen and his dog was getting out. It was attacking other dogs since I posted. Then retreat through the hole before the response could organize. His little "wife" had started to follow him on these sorties.

There was mastiff and St. Bernard body parts everywhere!

Actually the lady of the house almost had a heart attack when I told her what was happening. The man of the house is a not very friendly Spainard (or Portuguese) fisherman. Right out of central casting I might add. Very old school. One could say he was crotchety. But I'm sure his wife saw to repairs being done. Since its done.

chrissy
2008-Jun-23, 12:25 AM
wonder who the little beast is going to attack now!

BigDon
2008-Jun-23, 12:43 AM
You know what "they" say:

They always kill their masters!

sarongsong
2008-Jun-23, 12:46 AM
...superchihuahua weighs 7 pounds. He has an adorable little "wife"...the lady of the house almost had a heart attack when I told her what was happening. The man of the house is...out of central casting...one could say he was crotchety...as in, say, chihuahua? :lol:

BigDon
2008-Jun-23, 12:53 AM
Ah, so you are saying that the pets imitate the old couple. Or I guess I did.

sarongsong
2008-Jun-23, 01:06 AM
wonder who the little beast is going to attack now!Hee-hee, just wait til he figures out who turned him in!

chrissy
2008-Jun-23, 01:10 AM
animals do take on a likeness to their owners and vice versa!

don't think BD is scared of a lil dog or its owner, it's the women who are worse!

hummmm! hope he does set the wife on him! ;)

BigDon
2008-Jun-23, 02:00 AM
Let's see, the chihuahua is the terrorists, the malamute is the USA, the lady is the elite effete snobs, BigDon is Rush Limbaugh. Is that close?

No, wait, I have a better one: When the big dog turns left, the small dog bites the right cheek.

Good God hhEb!

I wish I was clever enough to have intentionally come up with that as a political statement, but honestly, it was a unbelievably lucky small dog biting a big dog on the butt and getting away with it due to unique circumstance!

<sigh> I'm digging my hole deeper aren't I?

Whirlpool
2008-Jun-23, 02:24 AM
Sometimes a dog is more capable when he is bigger than his opponent.
He can hurt small dogs easily . It's an advantage.


:neutral:

BigDon
2008-Jun-23, 02:40 AM
Yes whirlpool, that's usually the case and why this diserved comment I thought.

Kaptain K
2008-Jun-23, 04:41 PM
I think it was one of Heinlein's characters who said "If combativeness was the sole survival characteristic, the Chihuahua would rule the Earth".

mfumbesi
2008-Jun-24, 07:03 AM
BigDon stories are a daily pleasantry for me.

Tog
2008-Jun-24, 07:24 AM
Our former downstairs neighbor has an anti-chiuahua. It looks like one, weighs about 3 pounds, if that, and loves people. it doesn't do that "cower and shake" thing most others do.

The GF's sister has a little farm type house with ducks and chickens running loose. The GF went down there with the friend and the "Chi-wi" the other day to let it chase ducks. It loves this and will run itself to the point of exhaustion. Then it went after a chicken. The chicken ran behind a bush with the dog hot on it's tail. And instant later, the dog came streaking out followed very closely by the angry hen.

He was back after it a moment later. We've also pulled about 5 claws out of him, 3 from his face, from the times he's tried to "play" with the GF's cat. 16 pounds of seething anger and pointy bits.

Not a proverb, but "sometimes it's better to be lucky than good" comes to mind.

Maksutov
2008-Jun-24, 08:40 AM
Many men eat, but few men chew.

jokergirl
2008-Jun-24, 08:48 AM
I don't know about the dogs, but I have noticed weather reports are getting increasingly Zen here recently.

My so far favourite was:
"Enjoy the sun today, it might rain on the weekend."

;)

Jeff Root
2008-Jun-24, 02:51 PM
"Top dog sometimes found clinging to bottom."

-- Jeff, in Minneapolis

chrissy
2008-Jun-24, 09:14 PM
"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow"

or

"A filthy mouth will not utter decent language"

HenrikOlsen
2008-Jun-25, 03:44 PM
If you have a dog that's stronger that you, make sure your command is stronger yet.

korjik
2008-Jun-25, 06:27 PM
Discipline is walking off after a pipsqueak sinks his fangs in your backside.

BigDon
2008-Jun-25, 07:19 PM
More good ones!

Its not a contest for a winner. Grading on a curve is never optimal nor realistic. (That would be saying you could never have a whole team of professionals, as an example. Patently not true.)

Yes, that malamute was an example of a good dog, in my opinion.

Maksutov
2008-Jun-26, 04:22 AM
Every dog has its day, but the best dogs get the other 364.