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View Full Version : It's Never Too Early To Feed Your Baby Cola



MrB398
2008-Sep-17, 01:28 PM
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3126/2848793719_734622b387.jpg?v=0

I found this earlier and thought I'd share it with ya'll

WaxRubiks
2008-Sep-17, 01:34 PM
I'd like to teach the world to burp, in perfect harmony......

HenrikOlsen
2008-Sep-17, 03:14 PM
Is this the time to mention that Kellog's Cornflakes was made to reduce masturbation in the young'uns?

Moose
2008-Sep-17, 04:23 PM
It's Never Too Early To Feed Your Baby Cola

Okay, fair enough, even the little ones have to eat.

But what, exactly, does one feed baby colas? Are they meat eaters or vegetarian? Is there commercial cola-milk substitute suitable for bottle-raising the really young ones? When can you ween them?

Neverfly
2008-Sep-17, 04:24 PM
Okay, fair enough, even the little ones have to eat.

But what, exactly, does one feed baby colas? Are they meat eaters or vegetarian? Is there commercial cola-milk substitute suitable for bottle-raising the really young ones? When can you ween them?

I think they eat Eucalyptus...

Moose
2008-Sep-17, 04:25 PM
Is this the time to mention that Kellog's Cornflakes was made to reduce masturbation in the young'uns?

It doesn't work. Er, I mean, I knew this guy... Gah, that's even worse!

Um. Look over there! *runs away*

redshifter
2008-Sep-17, 08:22 PM
Is this the time to mention that Kellog's Cornflakes was made to reduce masturbation in the young'uns?

Would that be the the cornflakes that said "Now with more saltpeter" on the box?

Moose
2008-Sep-17, 08:39 PM
*refrains from making juvenile 'salty peter' pun.*

ABR.
2008-Sep-17, 08:53 PM
HenrikOlsen...you forgot to mention the part where originally Kellogg's cornflakes weren't even meant to be eaten...

Neverfly
2008-Sep-17, 09:02 PM
*refrains from making juvenile 'salty peter' pun.*

Oh, I don't know. Your last two posts were doozies, I might figure you were on a roll.:D

Moose
2008-Sep-17, 09:09 PM
HenrikOlsen...you forgot to mention the part where originally Kellogg's cornflakes weren't even meant to be eaten...

Oh my goodness. Dare I ask what on Earth were you supposed to do with them to prevent masturbation?

HenrikOlsen
2008-Sep-17, 09:26 PM
HenrikOlsen...you forgot to mention the part where originally Kellogg's cornflakes weren't even meant to be eaten...

From what I understand they where based on 'a healthy body" means "healthy mind"'

and since healthy men don't masturbate, the logic is natural.(given the idiocy of the time)

Neverfly
2008-Sep-17, 09:29 PM
From what I understand they where based on 'a healthy body" means "healthy mind"'

and since healthy men don't masturbate, the logic is natural.(given the idiocy of the time)
WOW! I bet a lot of guys were struggling with inner secret shame...

ABR.
2008-Sep-17, 09:31 PM
It's been a long time since I read the book that detailed this, but as I recall, before cornflakes were meant to be a bland food to dampen the libido, cornflakes were used as....suppositories. Did you see the movie Road to Wellville? It was a comedy, so not meant to be historically accurate, but there is a great line used in the trailers where Anthony Hopkins (as Dr. Kellogg) is showing cornflakes to someone who doesn't look thrilled about eating them. I'm paraphrasing, but Kellogg's reply is, "Oh, it's not going in that way!"

Alan G. Archer
2008-Sep-17, 09:44 PM
Methinks the cola ad could be "fictional urbanism (http://thecitydesk.net/baby_soda_ad/)."

Alan G. Archer
2008-Sep-17, 09:59 PM
One version of this ad has "guaranteed" correctly spelled, the other (http://hunternuttall.com/blog/2008/06/cola-is-good-for-babies-fact-or-fiction/) is misspelled.

mugaliens
2008-Sep-17, 10:06 PM
Can we get back to talking about feeding cola to babies, now?

Gillianren
2008-Sep-17, 11:23 PM
It's been a long time since I read the book that detailed this, but as I recall, before cornflakes were meant to be a bland food to dampen the libido, cornflakes were used as....suppositories. Did you see the movie Road to Wellville? It was a comedy, so not meant to be historically accurate, but there is a great line used in the trailers where Anthony Hopkins (as Dr. Kellogg) is showing cornflakes to someone who doesn't look thrilled about eating them. I'm paraphrasing, but Kellogg's reply is, "Oh, it's not going in that way!"

No, no. Cornflakes were always intended to be eaten. I promise. Dr. Kellogg was kinda enema-happy, but he was looking for "digestible food." I believe this is food that produces no waste.

Whirlpool
2008-Sep-17, 11:41 PM
Laboratory tests over the last few years have a proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and " fitting in " during the awkward pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness - Soda Pop Board of America

For sure there will be more Obese kids if this will be taken seriously.

:doh:

WaxRubiks
2008-Sep-18, 12:41 AM
I think that babies should be given a choice; perhaps they should have a mini bar in their cot..

ABR.
2008-Sep-18, 04:43 AM
No, no. Cornflakes were always intended to be eaten. I promise. Dr. Kellogg was kinda enema-happy, but he was looking for "digestible food." I believe this is food that produces no waste.

My mistake.

Now. Back to colas...