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banquo's_bumble_puppy
2008-Oct-24, 11:39 AM
I have an issue with having serious conversations with people (especially women that I am attracted to). Invariably the conversations turn silly and I try to turn everything into a joke. Anyone else do this? Is it just insecurity?

Argos
2008-Oct-24, 02:12 PM
Treat women gently and have some sense of humor, but never put them on a pedestal. Works for me.

mahesh
2008-Oct-24, 02:24 PM
my shiny tuppence.....

Respect; treat as equal; you'll be fine.

Women are not playthings. They are human beings. The only diff. is, that they are prettier than you and I.

Whirlpool
2008-Oct-24, 02:59 PM
Women are not playthings. They are human beings. The only diff. is, that they are prettier than you and I.

Of course . Because if I say a Man is Prettier than me , that would be disturbing.

:think:

Ivan Viehoff
2008-Oct-24, 03:33 PM
My main suspicion is that you are just inept at communication, which is why it devolved into embarrassment that got covered up by a joke. There are communication techniques that can be learnt. It's a bit like those books that teach you how to pick up women. It works in just the same way except instead of telling lies, you have to tell the truth and work out the right way to turn it into words.

"Just insecurity"? A bit like asking "anyone else get a bit tearful in these circumstances, or is it just clinical depression?"

Looking at this from the other end of the couch, you might see how serious a problem insecurity might be. Having fallen in love with and attempted to have a relationship with a deeply insecure individual, my advice is "steer well clear of the insecure: it can't possibly work, and finding out will be extraordinarily painful". The deeply insecure hate the person they are, so if you direct love at the person they actually are (which seems likely if you are in love with that person rather than their photograph) they cannot accept it. Trying to love the person they want to be might produce short term results, but so will flattery and other kinds of dishonesty, and it is liable to result in severe disappointment in the end. There can be little true communication, because normal civilised communication techniques such as empathy don't work with them: they can't accept empathy for something they are denying.

But if it really is the case that you suffer from serious insecurity (surely most of us have minor insecurities) then actually admitting it is the main battle won.

Moose
2008-Oct-24, 07:04 PM
The only diff. is, that they are prettier than you and I.

They smell better, most of the time.