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Jpax2003
2003-Dec-04, 05:54 AM
previously posted here (http://www.badastronomy.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=9590)


NANCI Leaders Sued for Libel

JPAX Wired
December 2, 2003

New York —A civil complaint was filed today against the group known as the Northern Axis for No Christmas International (NANCI). The civil suit cites that the leaders of the NANCI group have libeled the good name of the Strategic Alliance for Nocturnal Treasures Augmentation (SANTA). The charge is made that NANCI Leaders made outrageous statements regarding the corporate shift of SANTA facilities to the South Pole in an attempt to sabotage SANTA stock prices.

Specific charges include: Falsely reporting that the sun occults the Production Location and Access Node for Educational Toys Experiment (PLANET X) facility because it experiences nearly 24 hours of daylight which would be harmful to laborers (sun and snow-blindness). Falsely reporting that the shift of Magnate School North District for SANTA employees to Magnate School South District would be harmful to relocating pupils despite the encompassing curriculum.

The Leaders of NANCI were not available for comment but some followers of the group had this to say: “PLANET X will destroy the world of children’s toys. Sensible educational toys and affordable junior scientific supplies will make children think for themselves, which is bad and makes them precocious. We cannot allow this to happen. Children need fun not truth.”

However, some outside observers level other accusations at the NANCI group. “We all know that their real agenda is a union with the aliens. Illegal or undocumented workers are a rarity for SANTA, yet NANCI has been trying to sneak them in so that they can sow dissent and unionize the laborers. We feel that NANCI would then force a labor strike in order to sabotage Christmas.”

The legal struggles between NANCI and SANTA goes back several years when NANCI unsuccessfully sued SANTA for discriminatory hiring practices. The court ruled for SANTA when it was demonstrated that only elves possessed “elven magic” which was required for the duties of the employment positions.

Some experts predict a new Cold war now with NANCI in the north and SANTA in the south. This is expected to create a Bi-Polar world for NANCI Leaders as PLANET X both approaches production capacity and yet educates children and adults in the rigors of True Science™.

JP Staff reporter

devil's advocate
2003-Dec-04, 07:36 PM
=D>

carolyn
2003-Dec-05, 05:45 PM
friday night, get in from a harrrrrrd week and see that, thanks for making me laugh. now if you could get together with wolf (he could do the photos 8) you could start up a spoof px news site. sounds good to me :wink:

Oops
2003-Dec-14, 06:49 PM
You mentioned possibly taking a domain name in the other thread. I thought satirewire would be catchier, but I figured it was too catchy not to be taken already, so I checked it out. It's hilarious! It's not being updated, though.

Of course, that doesn't help anyone here. Does Jpax mean anything?