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  1. A short Halloween story. True story.

    Many years ago, I inherited my Grandfathers house, and lived in it for a while, fixing it up. But that is not the story. I always thought of my Grandpa as a nice old man. Even when he wasn't, because when I was little he was the best Grandad. We loved him above all others.

    So after he died, here I am in his old neighborhood, and it is Halloween, so I decide to treat the local kids. I set up the usual burning mutated bodies hanging from trees, cauldrons of screaming babies, boiling alive in oil, some snakes, bats, a few demons torturing Saints, and of course the rotting corpse in a casket, complete with real vermin crawling all over it, (just smear some rotten ham juice and honey on it a few days before, they will come), you know, just a few props to get the kids in the spirit.

    Jack-O-lanterns, ghosts, skeletons, spiderwebs, yadda yadda yadda, nothing too overboard, just to set the mood.

    So after making it obvious I want the little darlings to come get some candy, I hide under a black sheet in the shadows, ready to spring out of nowhere and give them a little adrenaline rush. You know how they love that. Plus, I don't want them to egg the house, or slash the tires again.

    So, there I am waiting, and kids and parents are all over the street, you can hear them chattering, laughing, a few screams of delight, oh the joy of the evening.

    But ...

    nobody comes up the drive. They ALL walk on by.

    I'm starting to get annoyed, here I am dressed like Charles Manson with a machete, hiding behind a shrub, covered in a black sheet, ready to make their night, and nobody is stopping.

    Just as I am starting to lose it, I mean, I am considering jumping out into the street at this point and start raving like a lunatic, when another group goes by, and an older child tells a younger one, "No no, not that house, that is the mean old man house".

    And they go on without stopping.

    I'm crushed. Amazed. I realize Grandpa didn't do Halloween. (He was an agnostic/atheist sort). And it seems he yelled at the kids who still rang his bell on Halloween, even when he had no intention of handing out candy, or even tolerating the little angels waking him up at night.

    So much that all the kids knew to avoid his house. They didn't know he was dead, and I had taken over.

    All my efforts were in vain. The ghost of my dead Grandpa hung heavy over the scene, and I could only wonder what they thought all the stuff sitting there was for.

    Was the mean old man luring them in? Was it a trap? A trick?

    Who knows. I only knew that no kid would step on the property, and even when I took the freshly baked candies and muffins out to the street to give them away, nobody would take them. Some of the kids actually ran away screaming, like they never saw a blood covered serial killer, with the long hair and crazy eyes, holding a machete, who wanted them to take his delicious chocolate covered with-flies-instead-of-raisins muffins. Kids, who can understand them?

    Sure, maybe the Raccoon skulls hanging from my belt were a bit over the top, but shucks, it was Halloween man. You know how long I spent boiling the flesh off them road kill Raccoons? I went to a lot of effort to get them. And they looked like demon skulls, not Raccoons, you know? I thought it was kind of cool. And I hadn't bathed in over a week, to get that authentic smell right. It didn't seem to matter.

    Any ways, later I found out the 20 foot high Satan (complete with flapping demon bat wings), that I had projected onto the side of the house might have had something to do with it, but I was skeptical.

    I even got complaints about the live snakes in the glass bowl. I told them I had milked the venom from rattlers the night before, and they were safe, but it didn't seem to do any good.

    I ended up eating all the candy myself, before heading off to a party.

    Well, lesson learned, and by the next year I had changed tactics. But that is another story.
  2. Lol! (Robinson's comments).

    Careful Joe Boy -- my cat might chase you.

    We're ready: Bring on the night!
  3. View Conversation
    Where's the party going now?
  4. View Conversation
    Thought I would come over and play in Nadme's yard for a while--woof--n--j
  5. View Conversation
    Yeah! my daughter is 13 and I hope she gives it up now too.

    It might be Robinson, that they are all in therapy because you have scared them so much.
  6. I will be scaring the little sweethearts as usual. No no, not the little hide-in-the-bushes-with-a-chainsaw-then-leap-out-and-yell "Boo!" sort of fright, but a really good one, the kind that takes years of therapy to recover from.

    Strange, each year fewer kids come down my street. I guess they just grow out of it. Good times, good times.
  7. Hope your daughter and friend have a terrific time. My last trick or treating was age 13. That was pre-planned...and lo and behold, that night two unpleasant old ladies asked us scaldingly, "Aren't you girls too old to be trick or treating??" :-( So yep...the gig was up, lol!
  8. View Conversation
    My daughter is going out with her friend again.
    I loved it too as a kid, it was so much fun.
  9. So...what are your plans for All Hallows Eve? We're passing out candy to trick-or-treaters like usual. Loved Halloween as a kid and still do. Our cat likes playing with my decorative pumpkins, lol.
  10. It's tempting to leave a message every time I log in. Just so people will go, "Hey wow! I got a message!"

    But then they see the message and realize it was just me saying hello.
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