New definitions for old words

Broom: explosive cleaning device
Litter: headlight for terrorists
Bullets: beef jerky snacks for hunters
Curtains: aluminum window shades for the tin foil hat society

Mattress: bedding made for a woman
Princess: prince who would rather sew or cook than sow the royal oats
Camelot: new surveillance camera system setup all over the kingdom
Knighthood: where the low life knights hang out

Bipolar: Purchase Parks and Recreation on DVD.

Myriad: 10,000 commercials.

Luncheon: A really long lasting meal.

Learn: Acquisition of livelihood
Origin: A type of alcoholic drink, 8X the strength of regular gin.

Ostentatious: Originating in central Texas.

Hotrod: Moses gets mugged on his way to visit Pharaoh.

Axiomatic: Euclid's manuscript storeroom.

Leeward: Mental hospital wing for people who believe in The Hulk, Thor, and Spiderman.

Minister: A small prison.
Infer: Wearing an expensive coat.
Diet: Gray hair remedy.

Capacity: Havana

Capable: can be capitalized
negligible: Can turn black at will.
Notice: Cure for involuntary limb movements.

Labrador: Dog used in experiments
Choux Pastry: Go away pie!
Surcharge: What you pay for a knighthood

Forgone: Marvel stops publishing one of its comic books.

Stockade: Favorite beverage of Wall Street investors.

Reply: Misreport a harvest.

Portrait: A bad characteristic behavior.

Reveal: Go back for a second helping of baby cow.

Prescribe: Someone who is learning to write.

Stalker: A herbivore that doesn't stop with just the leaves.

Détente: Go out with a parent's sister.

Closet: What a cat does to furniture.

Explain: Concorde
Lamination: New Zealand
Lactose: Frostbite

Stalwart: Slow the spread of a skin blemish.
Rebate: Put a new worm on your hook.
Plaything: Land the role of Ben Grimm.

Export: A former coastal city that's now under water.
Interpolate: International police don't arrive in time.
Passover: The guy gets slapped.

Vagrant: Much ado about nothing.

Implore: Stories about small demons.

obfuscate: excrete in the dungeon.
lament: Rule of Dollarama

Grievance: Insects that get into your armor.