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Thread: We don't need no stinkin' Untrue Facts! (!!!)

  1. #2971
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    An antiphecy is a prediction of the past.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  2. #2972
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    Organized crime has that name because they got their start by stealing organs from churches.

  3. #2973
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    In the Hapsburg Codex, the Mayans predicted that on 21 December 2012 that Autumn would end.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  4. #2974
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    All that happens in two days time is all copies
    of the Hobbit disappear in a puff of steam. I
    might have said Lord of the Rings but my unread
    copy holds up a pile somewhere.

  5. #2975
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    In the Hapsburg Codex, the Mayans predicted that on 21 December 2012 that Autumn would end.
    Lol!

    22 December 2012 will be formally known as 1 January 0.

  6. #2976
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    The ancient Toledoites believed the world would end on March 19, 2013, which, in their calendar was written as 19-03-13 (at least according to the interpretation of some anthropologists).
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  7. #2977
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    In order to assure the continued existence of the world, Maya Angelou has promised to buy a 2013 wall calendar.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  8. #2978
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    e e cummings was the poet laureate of topeka kansas
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  9. #2979
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    cummings, i.e., e e, also served as an inspiration for the world's electrical engineers.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  10. #2980
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    Electricity got its name when cities used to vote on whether or not they wanted it to power their lights.

  11. #2981
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    Electrical discharge can be treated by antibiotics.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  12. #2982
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    Antibiotics are made by letting the cows loose in an onion patch.

  13. #2983
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    Cows, sheesh, don't get me started. I say milk 'em for all they're worth and move on to the next one.

    The expression "let loose," meaning to lose control, was coined after the remote-controlled corset release was invented. A heroic series of childish pranks ensued. When corsets were abandoned by even the bravest, the Great Depression started. We only got out of it by fighting the Second Wear War. These are all facts.

  14. #2984
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    In the morning the world will end, so tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  15. #2985
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    Mayan Calendar Part II has just been found on the back of a Dead Sea Scroll. I wish they had thought of looking there sooner.

  16. #2986
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    Taking their cue from another End Of Worlder last year, the Mayans have just announced they miscalculated The End Of The World. It's not today, it's 6 months from now.

    For SURE.

    You heard it from me first.

  17. #2987
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    I heard from Buttercup that Bubblybowl and Jiffypop have recently returned from Swankyswamp's.

  18. #2988
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    Actually, life on Earth did end. ToSeek just transfered us to his sim. He and his Vulcan buddies at the Science Directorate are now deciding when to turn it off, based on the quality of the next post in this thread.

    Pressure. Presssurrre.

  19. #2989
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    The sim runs on a Windows machine, so some of the simulated people have hacked into his Amazon account and ordered robot bodies for us. We're in them right now.

  20. #2990
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    I'm a Mac person.

  21. #2991
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    Tripoli got its name because its founder had really wide feet.

  22. #2992
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck View Post
    Tripoli got its name because its founder had really wide feet.
    I thought that was Clownistan?
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  23. #2993
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    Copenhagen was originally populated by copies of the people of the German city of Hagen in an early cloning experiment.

  24. #2994
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    When its huge troop ship sank in the Atlantic, the colony of Horde Island rearranged the first three letters of its name and claimed it was correcting a typo.
    Last edited by Chuck; 2012-Dec-26 at 03:25 PM.

  25. #2995
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    When genetically engineered trees have ears and children are radioactive from leaky nuclear power plants, some of the words of White Christmas will have to be rearranged.

  26. #2996
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    En route back to the North Pole, Rudolph's nose went out; Santa's sleigh crashed into our rockwall fence.

  27. #2997
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    And he landed right where The Easter Bunny was in training for the spring's egg delivery.

  28. #2998
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    I'm not currently drinking Diet Pepsi.

    I'm happy our rockwall fence got slammed into.

  29. #2999
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    Diet Pepsi has improved CERN's accuracy by 10%.

  30. #3000
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    Diet Pennzoil is on sale at Autozone this week -- buy two, get two free plus a free bag of Doritos.
    So many bugs, so little time.

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