I don't always make posts in the fun-and-games section, but when I do, you read them in my voice...
Established Member
I don't always make posts in the fun-and-games section, but when I do, you read them in my voice...
Order of Kilopi
Wait, I'll get the helium.Originally Posted by Gemini
"I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright
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Helium was invented by Glorn Helium of Ricus IV in the 167th Year of the Reign of Pleem the Agitated.
Order of Kilopi
HeHeHelium is used for lift now instead of HiHiHydrogen in Bbbbras.
Honored Member
Operation Brabraossa was the attempt by Germany in WWII to defeat the Soviet Union by stealing all their female comrades' foundation garments and establishing a total underwear monopoly in Europe.
The story was told by Isaac Asimov in his books, Foundations and Foundations and Empire.
Moderator
In San Diego, California, it is against local laws to fry bacon in the nude.
Honored Member
Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in the nude. Then he climbed down from the scaffolding and walked home alone. In the evening. In the rain.
Order of Kilopi
But a bunch of priests saw the nude ceiling and insisted that he paint over the nether parts.
"I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright
Established Member
The nether parts of underwear are really foundation garments.
Honored Member
Nude pictures of Vesta are now available online.
Order of Kilopi
The netherlands have been painted over ever since, especially by the flowery van gothic.
Order of Kilopi
The vesta virgins are claiming copyright, too much googling.
Order of Kilopi
Potato.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
Emperor Penguins regularly take the grand polar tour but remain underwater undetected wherever possible
Moderator
Po-tat-toe. Let's call the whole thing "off".
Those words are from a song by Elton John.
Honored Member
My favorite destruction scene was in Battlestar Galactica, when the USS Potatoe was roasted by the Cylons and served covered with sour cream and chives on the Dan Ryan Expressway. The traffic jam was epic.
Order of Kilopi
Traffic Jam is made from asphalt berries and potatoes.
"I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright
Honored Member
Science fiction writers everywhere were embarrassed to find out this weekend that the acronym FTL really stands for Food That Laughs, not Faster Than Lingonberries.
Order of Kilopi
Vesta has been offered $10 million to pose in a certain very popular gentleman's magazine. Pamela Anderson is gnashing her teeth in jealousy!
Moderator
The expression "gnashing your teeth" was created in honor of Ogden Gnash.
Established Member
Gnashed teeth are a new jewelry item on necklaces and ear-rings.
Honored Member
I wonder why we gnash our choppers,
Lowers ground against the oppers.
But I'm sure that in the end
Gnashing is a dentist's friend.
Order of Kilopi
The Dentist's Friend was a 1952 movie starring Marilyn Monroe, Jimmy Stewart and Charles Nelson Reilly. A young Buddy Holly makes a brief cameo as an egg salesman.
"I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright
Order of Kilopi
So, Vesta is just a sexy, stripped down version of Vista, right?
Order of Kilopi
egg salesmen often wonder which came first, the egg or the chicken manager
Order of Kilopi
Vistaright is a brand of glasses cleaner based on paint stripper
Order of Kilopi
The Supreme Court of West Dakota has decided to allow cameras in the courts. WDTPA spokesperson Eve Ning was quoted as saying "This will destroy our membership. Tennis players should not need to worry about having their picture taken."
Order of Kilopi
I've got a pocketful of kryptonite.
And I'm NOT afraid to use it.
Established Member
Superman can't open a lock made of Krypton, nor blow out a light with Krypton luminescence.
Order of Kilopi
the cat crept into the Kryptonite collapsed and created Marvel......(, and bowdlerisation)
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