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Thread: Let's create an urban legend!

  1. #1
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    Let's create an urban legend!

    I was sitting in the bath just now, when it suddenly occurred to me that someone had to have come up with the urban legend that green M&Ms are an aphrodisiac. That combination of elements is too specific to have emerged out of the ether. Someone had to think that up and somehow get it going. But if that anonymous genius can do it, why can't we? Surely there must be a combination of statements random and yet specific enough to sound vaguely plausible that we could send out and let become fruitful and multiply? The possibilities are endless. I'll start:

    Sitting in the front passenger seat of a Ford Ranger increases your intelligence

    Drinking Kikkoman soy sauce from the bottle increases your bone density

    Holding a Spalding basketball to your forehead increases your life expectancy

    Placing McDonald's french fry tallow on your eyelids improves your recall

    You can practice archery by spitting chewing gum

    Come on, let's hear some more! :-)
    "Occam" is the name of the alien race that will enslave us all eventually. And they've got razors for hands. I don't know if that's true but it seems like the simplest answer."

    Stephen Colbert.

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    the Loch Ness monster was actually a shape-shifter who went and worked for a large corporation and ended up as CEO.
    ................................

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    Modern computers keep a complete date
    stamped record of all keystrokes during
    the life of the machine.

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    Quote Originally Posted by parallaxicality View Post
    .. that someone had to have come up with the urban legend... Someone had to think that up and somehow get it going.
    And also present a very persuasive and plausible argument for it. e.g.:

    Quote Originally Posted by peteshimmon View Post
    Modern computers keep a complete date
    stamped record of all keystrokes during
    the life of the machine.
    It is stored in the microchip next to the ALU and is fireproof. So, if everything in your home is burned down, you can always restore your data, though the cost is high. This is how the FBI nabs smart crooks who destroy their PC. Of course, this can sometimes be abused by spouses who take their PCs to the centers under the guise of repairs to check on their spouses' online activities. {Shudder}

    //spread the word, and very soon we'll have queries as to how this thing can be disabled!//
    I think all of parallaxs' suggestions are plausible.

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    Books is the heaviest substance in the universe. If you've ever moved a big box of books, you'll agree that a box of gold, lead or platinum-iridium would have to be lighter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by parallaxicality View Post
    Drinking Kikkoman soy sauce from the bottle increases your bone density
    Possibly the reverse. Doesn't soya have an oestrogen-analogue that can increase bone loss?

    Quote Originally Posted by peteshimmon View Post
    Modern computers keep a complete date
    stamped record of all keystrokes during
    the life of the machine.
    Now that one I can see taking off.

  7. #7
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    Google has secret software that once installed on your smart phone (it comes with google maps) photographs your transactions such as purchases or deals to build a profile of the kind of things you buy and where you do so. This is made available to large corporate sellers to help them aim advertisements at you.

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    The moon landings actually happened, but all records were carefully redacted to avoid exposing the lunar sasquatch colony

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    Quote Originally Posted by LookingSkyward View Post
    The moon landings actually happened, but all records were carefully redacted to avoid exposing the lunar (censored)
    You know you're not supposed to reveal that. Men in black will be visiting you soon.

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    Doh! Again with the helicopPPPPPPPPPPPP

    (lookingskyward is taking a nap now. move along. nothing to see here)

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    Once upon a time there was a mighty hunter named John Urban and he roamed the North Woods with his pet bear Steve. One day, John and Steve were near Lake Wingdodwnaif when they heard a strange sound....


    What do you mean "that's not what 'urban legend' means"?


    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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    Once upon a time there was a mighty city named Mexico City and one day...


    No? Still not an 'urban legand'?
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  13. #13
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    I saw a sihn yesterday "Give Peas a chance" it's an urbane legend

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    In the American Southwest a subsidiary of BP (TP) is pumping untreated sewage directly into deep wells, where the heat and pressure will convert the wastes to petroleum.

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    extensive use of deep holes to extract energy from rocks with pumped water will help temporarily with clean energy but will cool the Earth's core and lead to an ice age.

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    The average person in their lifetime
    excretes a hundred cubit metres of
    you know what.

    A stinking urban legend.

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    Speaking of holes, an Italian group drilling a superdeep borehole has found evidence for life at just over 10 kilometers. Fragments suggest a somewhat boxlike creature, hollow inside, with cryptic markings (Quat P un der) on the outer integument.

  18. #18
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    Just an exaggeration. Probably more like 10-20 cubic meters.

    Many newbies used to approach the venerable usenet institution alt.folklore.urban (Snopes were contributers, and grew from there) and suggest creating urban legends to track them in the wild. The response was usually, been tried rarely successful and learned nothing.

    I tried to create a few myself. Weirdly, when you encounter it a few years later, you really can't tell whether or not your subconscious just latched onto something that was already in the wind--if you try to take credit for it, not only will there be detractors who think you're ridiculous, but a handful will assert they heard the legend long before the date you're claiming for it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by profloater View Post
    Google has secret software that once installed on your smart phone (it comes with google maps) photographs your transactions such as purchases or deals to build a profile of the kind of things you buy and where you do so. This is made available to large corporate sellers to help them aim advertisements at you.
    This is true. Even a system sweep will not catch this bug as it is designed as a text file. Only when you use a map feature will it activate and send the stored information. Ok, it has its' uses and may sometimes be a deal sweetener but since it is done without your consent, it ranks.

    Need more proof? How do you think you have those, 'I needed just that' moments? And the seller/shipper is, so conveniently, located nearby? Think again.

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    Madonna and Lady Gaga are really the same person.

    That's why their songs are so much a like. And ask yourself this... have you ever seen them together?
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  21. #21
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    Yes that's just the beginning, there is a suggestion module that makes FM coded audible suggestions while you are phoning designed to make you crave cheeseburgers ice cream and better shoes. When you ask for route directions, roads are chosen that feature sponsored signboards and fast food outlets, etc. Furthermore any "intelligent" conversation triggers previously implanted suggestions to make you sleepy and hungry.

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    Just to be clear, I have no memory of making my post above...

  23. #23
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    Neither do I, I think I did use my phone yesterday and I am pleased with my new Nikes, but now I must go to McD because it's hours since I did. And I love big brother.

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    Wearing those shoes with individual toes causes cancer.
    Information about American English usage here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by swampyankee View Post
    Wearing those shoes with individual toes causes cancer.
    The toes are of the ideal dimensions for brown recluse (or, any other "favorite" tiny aggressor) nests. The fingers of gloves are too long/floppy or not as accessible. Same reason that they are so often found at the bottom of demitasse cups.

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    Everybody is living longer!

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    mobile shoe repair & pest eviction - smartphone detects mini-pest in 'smart shoe' and calls the toe truck.




    smart shoes! Now sentient, and with soles!

  28. #28
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    Mankind is really a single entity called Qualloom, and we/it roams the Universe, supernaturally, visiting planets and forcing those planets into nightmare slave hell-holes before destroying them and sending all the inhabitance to another place of eternal torment. The brief signal that is called the wow-signal was a brief appeal for mercy, which that planet dearly paid for.
    ................................

  29. #29
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    That sounds more like a religion than a legend, but hey, no faulting ambition. After all, L. Ron pulled it off...
    "Occam" is the name of the alien race that will enslave us all eventually. And they've got razors for hands. I don't know if that's true but it seems like the simplest answer."

    Stephen Colbert.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    Madonna and Lady Gaga are really the same person.

    That's why their songs are so much a like. And ask yourself this... have you ever seen them together?
    Here they are together on a tv show... sorry... but another urban legend bites the dust!

    http://www.ladygagagalore.com/getatt...axsidesize=580

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