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Thread: Really trivial stuff that amuses you...

  1. #9931
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    Once again, I applaud you for being a special ed teacher!

    When I was in elementary school, the alarm went off one day when the teachers weren't expecting a drill. We were hustled out rather quickly and about every fire truck in town turned up. It turned out one of the janitors was trying to clean the alarm handle thing.
    And I applaud that janitor.

    Can you imagine the kerfuffle that would occur should the school catch fire and burn to the ground, only to have someone say later, "Yeah, I woulda pulled the fire alarm but that handle was gross."
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
    Isaac Asimov

    You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They donít alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.
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  2. #9932
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solfe View Post
    ... The same student tried to tell me he was afraid to read aloud. ... I asked him if he could read silently to the class. After a minute or two another student said, "I can't hear anything", so the first student raised his voice. ...
    I hope you planned it this way, 'cause that's ingenious!
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
    Isaac Asimov

    You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They donít alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.
    Doctor Who

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  3. #9933
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim View Post
    I hope you planned it this way, 'cause that's ingenious!
    I did!
    Solfe

  4. #9934
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    Just got a call on my mobile and didn't recognise the number. So I rejected the call and then searched for the number on one of those "who called me?" sites.
    Sure enough it was noted as being scammers. That's not what amused me however.
    Reading through the comments I found this gem:


    Call received this morning and they informed me my dog had been involved in a road traffic collision.
    I was distraught. Told my wife who already looked equally heartbroken and she revealed she'd had the same call.
    Then we both realised we don't even have a dog!
    Scam! Blocked.
    My emphasis

  5. #9935
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    I always answer calls from numbers I don't recognize. This dates from an unfortunate experience in my family a few years ago.

    My brother routinely rejects calls on his mobile when the number is withheld.
    My (now ex-) employer withholds the number of any calls made from extensions within the building, and (at the time in question) forbade mobile phones in certain areas.
    The day my father died, my brother (who was the first to be informed) left a message at my workplace, asking me to call him urgently. So I call from a workplace extension ... and he rejects the call (especially on this occasion, because he was waiting for me to call him back). I try again ... same thing. And again ... same thing. And again ... same thing. And again ... same thing. Eventually I had to get a colleague to cover for me so that I could go and get my mobile phone out of my locker and then carry it out into the car park.

    Only amusing in retrospect.

    Grant Hutchison

  6. #9936
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    Grant, I wouldn't find that amusing even in retrospect. That's a sad occurrence. Fortunately for me, any calls from family or about family are likely to come from a local area code so seeing any unfamiliar codes leads to the rejection. I also don't use the telephonic aspect of the device very much. Its mainly for net access, servers, monitoring etc. so my contacts know to use a text based method.

  7. #9937
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    I get far too many spam calls but any legitimate caller most often will leave a voice message, which allows me to quickly verify the caller upon playback. I've noticed, however, that even spam calls are starting to leave messages but it only takes a few seconds on playing their message to quickly delete it.

    Sometimes I will get, or give, a text to initiate a phone call.
    We know time flies, we just can't see its wings.

  8. #9938
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    Quote Originally Posted by headrush View Post
    Grant, I wouldn't find that amusing even in retrospect. That's a sad occurrence. Fortunately for me, any calls from family or about family are likely to come from a local area code so seeing any unfamiliar codes leads to the rejection. I also don't use the telephonic aspect of the device very much. Its mainly for net access, servers, monitoring etc. so my contacts know to use a text based method.
    Sorry, I wasn't meaning to preach at you - everyone's circumstances are different. My employer was a hospital, and they withheld the number of outgoing calls so as to avoid causing distress to people who missed calls. At that time if the number had been shown, an attempt to return the call would go only to the main hospital switchboard, who would have no idea how to route the return call. So the person would know that a hospital had phoned them, but wouldn't be able to find out why. There's a better system in place now, using direct lines to originating phones, so it's now a non-issue.

    My brother and I do find this amusing in retrospect - the pair of us madly ramping each other's stress levels, with him furiously rejecting calls and me furiously redialing. My whole family has a fairly dark sense of humour, and my father certainly would have found it hilarious.

    As another example, my mother and I had a fit of hilarious giggles when we went to the undertaker's to collect my father's ashes.
    The Old Man was an inveterate collector of screw-top jars, which he stacked on a shelf in "his" cupboard, in case he ever needed a container for ... well, something. He was particularly keen on large jars. It was only a couple of years before he died that my mother revealed that, every now and then, she'd remove the rear row of jars from the shelf and chuck them in the recycling, so that there was always room for more jars and no danger that the empty jar collection would extend to other parts of the house. (My father was speechless for several minutes after this revelation.)

    With that back story in place, we move to the undertaker's, where a solemn-faced young man has just handed over a surprisingly heavy plastic bag to my mother and me. My mother opens the bag and peers inside, and then holds it out for me to see, visibly struggling to keep her face straight.
    "Oh my god, it's ..."
    "... a screw-top jar. And ..."
    "... it's huge!"

    Grant Hutchison

  9. #9939
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    Quote Originally Posted by George View Post
    I get far too many spam calls but any legitimate caller most often will leave a voice message, which allows me to quickly verify the caller upon playback. I've noticed, however, that even spam calls are starting to leave messages but it only takes a few seconds on playing their message to quickly delete it. ...
    I do this, too. Lately I've been getting a lot of voice mails in Chinese.
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
    Isaac Asimov

    You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They donít alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.
    Doctor Who

    Moderation will be in purple.
    Rules for Posting to This Board

  10. #9940
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    Little Hasenpfeffer! Ain't he cute?
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Yes, I'm the one calling him (or her, we don't actually know) that. The parents are mini-lop type bunnies, father is black and mother is mostly white.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  11. #9941
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    Quote Originally Posted by headrush View Post
    Just got a call on my mobile and didn't recognise the number. So I rejected the call and then searched for the number on one of those "who called me?" sites.
    Sure enough it was noted as being scammers. That's not what amused me however.
    Reading through the comments I found this gem:
    Call received this morning and they informed me my dog had been involved in a road traffic collision.
    I was distraught. Told my wife who already looked equally heartbroken and she revealed she'd had the same call.
    Then we both realised we don't even have a dog!
    Scam! Blocked.

    My emphasis
    That reminds me of a scene from the Pink Panther Strikes Again movie
    Inspector Clouseau: [gesturing to the hotel's dog] Does your dog bite?
    Munich Hotel Clerk: No.
    [Clouseau bends down to pet the small dog; it immediately growls and bites him.]
    Inspector Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!
    Munich Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  12. #9942
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    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    With that back story in place, we move to the undertaker's, where a solemn-faced young man has just handed over a surprisingly heavy plastic bag to my mother and me. My mother opens the bag and peers inside, and then holds it out for me to see, visibly struggling to keep her face straight.
    "Oh my god, it's ..."
    "... a screw-top jar. And ..."
    "... it's huge!"
    Great story! Will it remain as such?
    We know time flies, we just can't see its wings.

  13. #9943
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    Quote Originally Posted by headrush View Post
    Just got a call on my mobile and didn't recognise the number. So I rejected the call and then searched for the number on one of those "who called me?" sites.
    Sure enough it was noted as being scammers. That's not what amused me however.
    Reading through the comments I found this gem:



    My emphasis
    Reminds me of an anecdote by Robert Green Ingersoll, 19th-century freethought advocate. One rumor spread by opponents had it that Ingersoll's son was a drunkard who more than once had to be carried from the table. Ingersoll stated:

    It is not true that intoxicating beverages are served at my table. It is not true that my son ever was drunk. It is not true that he had to be carried away from the table. Besides, I have no son.

  14. #9944
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    Quote Originally Posted by George View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    With that back story in place, we move to the undertaker's, where a solemn-faced young man has just handed over a surprisingly heavy plastic bag to my mother and me. My mother opens the bag and peers inside, and then holds it out for me to see, visibly struggling to keep her face straight.
    "Oh my god, it's ..."
    "... a screw-top jar. And ..."
    "... it's huge!"
    Great story! Will it remain as such?
    I don't understand. Will what remain as such? The story? The jar? And what "such"?

    Grant Hutchison

  15. #9945
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    Someone in India tried to FaceTime me at 5:30 in the morning today. I declined and went back to bed.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroesí wings we fly!

  16. #9946
    Just a saw on google images, vegan lobster salad.
    From the wilderness into the cosmos.
    You can not be afraid of the wind, Enterprise: Broken Bow.
    https://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  17. #9947
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    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    I don't understand. Will what remain as such? The story? The jar? And what "such"?

    Grant Hutchison
    The remains?
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  18. #9948
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    The remains?
    Hmm. No farther forward with that, apart from a growing sense that it's going to turn out to be one of those "puns" that just sit there without meaning anything.

    Grant Hutchison

  19. #9949
    So the conversation has gone to dust.
    From the wilderness into the cosmos.
    You can not be afraid of the wind, Enterprise: Broken Bow.
    https://davidsuniverse.wordpress.com/

  20. #9950
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Backroad Astronomer View Post
    So the conversation has gone to dust.
    Yeah, like that.

    Grant Hutchison

  21. #9951
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    Little Hasenpfeffer! Ain't he cute?
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Hasenpfeffer.jpg 
Views:	23 
Size:	196.2 KB 
ID:	24485
    Yes, I'm the one calling him (or her, we don't actually know) that. The parents are mini-lop type bunnies, father is black and mother is mostly white.
    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! When you're counting billions of 'em, it's easy to forget the individual rabbit. Happy zeroth birthday, little fella.

  22. #9952
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    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    I don't understand. Will what remain as such? The story? The jar? And what "such"?
    Yes, will the colorful history of the jars cause the urn to be spurned and in the jar the remains will remain?
    We know time flies, we just can't see its wings.

  23. #9953
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    Quote Originally Posted by George View Post
    Yes, will the colorful history of the jars cause the urn to be spurned and in the jar the remains will remain?
    The ashes went into the River Tay at Dunkeld, according to my father's wishes. This would have induced further hilarity for the Old Man, since the tow-path from which he spent happy hours fishing no longer exists. So I spent a couple of exploratory hours on both sides of the river, pushing through nettles and brambles and sliding down steep, muddy, overgrown banks, trying to find a location next to deep and fast-flowing water which would also be accessible for my then-86-year-old mother. The eventual and only possible option involved getting into the cathedral grounds, which would also have amused the life-long atheist in the jar.
    The jar itself now resides in my attic, containing a variety of small electrical parts, old doorknobs and hinges that might some day be useful. It's what he would have wanted.

    Grant Hutchison

  24. #9954
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    Quote Originally Posted by grant hutchison View Post
    The ashes went into the River Tay at Dunkeld, according to my father's wishes. This would have induced further hilarity for the Old Man, since the tow-path from which he spent happy hours fishing no longer exists. So I spent a couple of exploratory hours on both sides of the river, pushing through nettles and brambles and sliding down steep, muddy, overgrown banks, trying to find a location next to deep and fast-flowing water which would also be accessible for my then-86-year-old mother. The eventual and only possible option involved getting into the cathedral grounds, which would also have amused the life-long atheist in the jar.
    The jar itself now resides in my attic, containing a variety of small electrical parts, old doorknobs and hinges that might some day be useful. It's what he would have wanted.
    Nice story!

    My father passed about this time in 2015. His career was owning a small road equipment dealership after being a dealer salesman for a Cat dealership. But he made his real money in selling the land he bought, both for his dealership and for his pleasure including a $7k lot (subsequently a beach house enjoyed greatly by me and my two brothers when we were teenagers). He made money on every land sale. When he sold some of his business land he bought a small ranch (600 acres -- snake and cacti heaven). He died there as he wished, and surprisingly, not with his boots on -- he had a strong cowboy spirit and read every Louis Lamoure book many times. So, preceded by Mom, he is buried in a plot next to our plots in a cemetery where we tell land-rich friends, "We own land next to Dominion." [Dominion is or was one of the highest priced subdivisions in the US.] But they all want to know how much land we own there, which allows us to trigger their laughter.
    Last edited by George; 2019-Aug-22 at 04:02 PM.
    We know time flies, we just can't see its wings.

  25. #9955
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim View Post
    I do this, too. Lately I've been getting a lot of voice mails in Chinese.
    This reminded me of an old, pre-Caller ID, story from a college friend who's father (an exec. at Tex. Instr., IIRC) kept getting calls from a caller who had the wrong phone number. He would answer and the caller, realizing it wasn't who he thought he was calling, would ask, "Who dis?" and after several calls from this person, finally responded with "Well, who dat?", whereupon he got "Well, who dis?" again and on it went.
    We know time flies, we just can't see its wings.

  26. #9956
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    Quote Originally Posted by George View Post
    I get far too many spam calls but any legitimate caller most often will leave a voice message, which allows me to quickly verify the caller upon playback. I've noticed, however, that even spam calls are starting to leave messages but it only takes a few seconds on playing their message to quickly delete it.

    Sometimes I will get, or give, a text to initiate a phone call.
    We had a sad experience with a voice message at my church the morning after Hurricane Isabel had knocked out our electricity. One of our members had just died and his wife was attempting to contact the pastor. The church office telephone switchboard was dead, but she managed to get the pastor's private phone and leave a message. In her grieving haste she neglected to say what it was about. The pastor was inundated with calls on that line along with dealing with storm damage and did not give that one any priority, and did not get to returning the call until that night. If he had known what was up he would have dropped everything else to be with her right away.

  27. #9957
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    "Submillimeter galaxies." Of course, I know what they are (galaxies that can be observed with submillimeter light), but it is still a bit amusing to read a sentence (as I did) that reads, "Submillimeter galaxies, which are massive..."
    As above, so below

  28. #9958
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    I was wandering through the local big-box home improvement store the other day, and found myself in the "lighting" aisle.
    For some reason, I found it amusing that people no longer get the "cheap diner meal sitting under a heat lamp" experience while passing under the displays.

    //now, get off my lawn!
    I may have many faults, but being wrong ain't one of them. - Jimmy Hoffa

  29. #9959
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    LED's, of course. Meanwhile, now that we have our new house I find myself with a several lifetimes' supply of CFL bulbs.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  30. #9960
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    This is trivial to me but probably not to Apple and its followers.

    Apple has released the Apple CardTM. It's titanium, not that cheap plastic. Which presents problems.

    It may stain if in contact with denim (like pants) or leather (like wallets … and some pants). It may scratch if in contact with keys, loose change, or other (plastic) credit cards. It's recommended you clean it regularly with a microfiber cloth.

    At least it doesn't butt dial a purchase.
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
    Isaac Asimov

    You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They donít alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.
    Doctor Who

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