Really trivial stuff that amuses you...

[The Backroad Astronomer]

Listening to the news on the radio and hearing that a great white was seen by a whale watching tour attacking a seal in the Bay of Fundy and then turning on the tv to see what is on, AMC is having a JAWS marathon.

[Hornblower]

This will be a rerun, but I will post it for the amusement of newcomers to this forum. It concerns examples of goofy military writing style.

As I entered our local military installation this morning I was greeted by a sign at the gate that said, "No weapons of any type are authorized on the installation." Just inside the gate the guard who checked my military ID card and admitted me was armed not only with an automatic pistol but also an M16 with a scope. I am certain to a moral certainty that those weapons were real and authorized. Of course I know the intended meaning of the sign, which is that the possession and carrying of unauthorized weapons is prohibited.

On a box full of seedless watermelons in the commissary was a large label that said, "Melon, water, seedless." This was based on formal supply documentation which typically puts the noun first, followed by adjectives if any. It did not allow for watermelon being a single word.

[grant hutchison]

As I entered our local military installation this morning I was greeted by a sign at the gate that said, "No weapons of any type are authorized on the installation." Just inside the gate the guard who checked my military ID card and admitted me was armed not only with an automatic pistol but also an M16 with a scope. I am certain to a moral certainty that those weapons were real and authorized. Of course I know the intended meaning of the sign, which is that the possession and carrying of unauthorized weapons is prohibited.

A laboratory building on our local university campus used to display a sign reading, "No smoking permitted inside or outside this building." That's the whole Universe covered, then.

Grant Hutchison

[DonM435]

That's rather like "This door must remain closed at all times."
Not much of a door then, is it?

[Trebuchet]

This will be a rerun, but I will post it for the amusement of newcomers to this forum. It concerns examples of goofy military writing style.

As I entered our local military installation this morning I was greeted by a sign at the gate that said, "No weapons of any type are authorized on the installation." Just inside the gate the guard who checked my military ID card and admitted me was armed not only with an automatic pistol but also an M16 with a scope. I am certain to a moral certainty that those weapons were real and authorized. Of course I know the intended meaning of the sign, which is that the possession and carrying of unauthorized weapons is prohibited.

On a box full of seedless watermelons in the commissary was a large label that said, "Melon, water, seedless." This was based on formal supply documentation which typically puts the noun first, followed by adjectives if any. It did not allow for watermelon being a single word.

I was amused many years ago by a nameplate reading "Truck, 4x4, 1/4 ton". It was a Jeep.

[KaiYeves]

A laboratory building on our local university campus used to display a sign reading, "No smoking permitted inside or outside this building." That's the whole Universe covered, then.

Grant Hutchison

“The sum total of all human knowledge...”

[ozduck]

Gracious! No wonder they were such a problem in Australia!

Sorry, are a problem. It is still illegal to keep them as pets in the State of Queensland. In my state, Western Australia, you have only been allowed to keep them as pets since the 1980's and it is still illegal to capture and keep wild rabbits.

[The Backroad Astronomer]

Listening to the news on the radio and hearing that a great white was seen by a whale watching tour attacking a seal in the Bay of Fundy and then turning on the tv to see what is on, AMC is having a JAWS marathon.

Bit of a side story,my BIL's brother is a scallop diver in basically in the same area. On one of his first dives he felt a tug on his leg and thought it was another diver at first. Then he looked back and saw two big eyes and saw it was a baby seal.

[Trebuchet]

My rabbit math problem was apparently a trick question. The answer is three, since all the last litter have now died and the dad is fixed.

[DonM435]

My rabbit math problem was apparently a trick question. The answer is three, since all the last litter have now died and the dad is fixed.

Fair enough!

My last word on the subject. I guess. I tweaked my program a bit, and switched to a compiler that had bigger integer and long integer types, this reaching 5 years without some elaborate math for extra precision. I also put commas in the numbers to make them more readable, and output the total days as years|days. I couldn't get tabbing to work, so the columns don't quite line up, but enough is enough. I'll spare you the code (though I'll provide it to any prospective rabbit counters out there). The numbers:

Days,  Yrs|Days,  F_Rabbits,  M_Rabbits,  Total_Rabbits
   0   0|000   1   1   2
   183   0|183   3   4   7
   205   0|205   5   7   12
   227   0|227   8   9   17
   249   0|249   10   12   22
   271   0|271   13   14   27
   293   0|293   16   16   32
   315   0|315   18   19   37
   337   0|337   21   21   42
   359   0|359   29   28   57
   381   1|016   42   40   82
   403   1|038   62   60   122
   425   1|060   87   85   172
   447   1|082   120   117   237
   469   1|104   160   157   317
   491   1|126   205   202   407
   513   1|148   258   254   512
   535   1|170   330   327   657
   557   1|192   435   432   867
   579   1|214   590   587   1,177
   601   1|236   808   804   1,612
   623   1|258   1,108   1,104   2,212
   645   1|280   1,508   1,504   3,012
   667   1|302   2,021   2,016   4,037
   689   1|324   2,666   2,661   5,327
   711   1|346   3,491   3,486   6,977
   733   2|003   4,578   4,574   9,152
   755   2|025   6,053   6,049   12,102
   777   2|047   8,073   8,069   16,142
   799   2|069   10,843   10,839   21,682
   821   2|091   14,613   14,609   29,222
   843   2|113   19,666   19,661   39,327
   865   2|135   26,331   26,326   52,657
   887   2|157   35,058   35,054   70,112
   909   2|179   46,503   46,499   93,002
   931   2|201   61,636   61,631   123,267
   953   2|223   81,819   81,813   163,632
   975   2|245   108,926   108,921   217,847
   997   2|267   145,458   145,454   290,912
   1,019   2|289   194,623   194,619   389,242
   1,041   2|311   260,451   260,446   520,897
   1,063   2|333   348,096   348,091   696,187
   1,085   2|355   464,353   464,349   928,702
   1,107   3|012   618,443   618,439   1,236,882
   1,129   3|034   822,991   822,986   1,645,977
   1,151   3|056   1,095,306   1,095,301   2,190,607
   1,173   3|078   1,458,951   1,458,946   2,917,897
   1,195   3|100   1,945,509   1,945,503   3,891,012
   1,217   3|122   2,596,637   2,596,630   5,193,267
   1,239   3|144   3,466,877   3,466,870   6,933,747
   1,261   3|166   4,627,760   4,627,752   9,255,512
   1,283   3|188   6,173,867   6,173,860   12,347,727
   1,305   3|210   8,231,344   8,231,338   16,462,682
   1,327   3|232   10,969,609   10,969,603   21,939,212
   1,349   3|254   14,616,986   14,616,981   29,233,967
   1,371   3|276   19,480,758   19,480,754   38,961,512
   1,393   3|298   25,972,351   25,972,346   51,944,697
   1,415   3|320   34,639,544   34,639,538   69,279,082
   1,437   3|342   46,208,944   46,208,938   92,417,882
   1,459   3|364   61,643,611   61,643,606   123,287,217
   1,481   4|021   82,221,971   82,221,966   164,443,937
   1,503   4|043   109,645,993   109,645,989   219,291,982
   1,525   4|065   146,188,458   146,188,454   292,376,912
   1,547   4|087   194,890,353   194,890,349   389,780,702
   1,569   4|109   259,821,231   259,821,226   519,642,457
   1,591   4|131   346,420,091   346,420,086   692,840,177
   1,613   4|153   461,942,451   461,942,446   923,884,897
   1,635   4|175   616,051,479   616,051,473   1,232,102,952
   1,657   4|197   821,606,406   821,606,401   1,643,212,807
   1,679   4|219   1,095,721,388   1,095,721,384   2,191,442,772
   1,701   4|241   1,461,192,533   1,461,192,529   2,922,385,062
   1,723   4|263   1,948,418,415   1,948,418,412   3,896,836,827
   1,745   4|285   2,597,971,493   2,597,971,489   5,195,942,982
   1,767   4|307   3,464,021,721   3,464,021,716   6,928,043,437
   1,789   4|329   4,618,877,848   4,618,877,844   9,237,755,692
   1,811   4|351   6,159,006,546   6,159,006,541   12,318,013,087
   1,833   5|008   8,213,022,561   8,213,022,556   16,426,045,117

I get 12.3 billion approaching the end of year 5, and 16.4 billion a few days into the new year. Someone can interpolate.

Or, you can cheat: count the big ears and divide by two.

[Solfe]

I'm thinking of starting a new thread. I don't know what it is for or what to call it. Perhaps "Observing" or "Poetry". Not sure.

We have strange skies tonight. Light, fluffy clouds to the north, south and east, with the moon shining in the southeast among the brightest stars. From the south, the sound of trains and the gong of railroad crossings. And in the west, indeterminately grey night skies, with flashbulb lightning, jumping from cloud to cloud. Reds, yellows and whites. Pop. Pop. Pop. It's a strange sky tonight.

[pzkpfw]

I hate linkedin, as it's gone from "my actual connections" to workish-facebooky-connection-collection. And spammy.

Still, I did a connection request a few days ago (to someone I've actually worked with) and today got the email from the system that they'd accepted.

The email says "Reach out to <name>" and has suggested text "<Name>, thanks for connecting! Hope you're doing well.". And there's a button to "Start with this note".

First I was a little disgusted that they want to lead/control/manipulate conversations like this. Seems so fake, so cynical.

Second I wondered if maybe it's actually helpful for the (I've seen claimed ...) 80% of I.T. people who are "on the spectrum". i.e. may need help in social situations? Do we need the "help"?

Third, I was reminded of the suggested replies in text messaging I get on my Android phone. I wonder how many conversations go on for some time with neither party paying attention, just clicking an auto-reply.

Passing the Turing test* by default.


(* yeah, that's not right.)

[Jens]

First I was a little disgusted that they want to lead/control/manipulate conversations like this. Seems so fake, so cynical.

Speaking of, I just remembered that the elevator in our building is strange, it actually says "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting" when it makes you wait over a certain amount of time. It kind of irritates me that it says that when it obviously has no feeling that it did something bad.

[Jim]

Yesterday I put together the new patio furniture my wife wanted. Part way through the process it started t rain, so I went inside to wait it out. My wife asked why I had come inside.

"It's raining."

"No, it's not. There's no rain in the forecast for today."

Silly me.

ETA: 0.4" of "no rain."

[Swift]

"No, it's not. There's no rain in the forecast for today."

I thought the forecast every day for Gulf Coast Texas from about May 1 to October 1 was "chance of afternoon thunderstorms"; it certainly was for Louisiana when I lived there.

[Gillianren]

Our faire neighbour told me yesterday, as we were tearing down, that being next to us (which she has been for the last few years) is always "entertaining." We are a large booth full of easily amused people.

[Jim]

I thought the forecast every day for Gulf Coast Texas from about May 1 to October 1 was "chance of afternoon thunderstorms"; it certainly was for Louisiana when I lived there.

Normally we have a 20-30% chance of afternoon showers during the summer. For parts of the summer we get a high that settles in over us. That keeps the winds from coming in off the Gulf. When the high moves sufficiently and in the right direction, we again get those off shore winds that bring in the moisture.

[grant hutchison]

Hey, I managed to change an entry in Wikipedia! All I needed to do was write a blog post pointing out that it contained stuff that had just plain been made up by an editor, then wait two years. After my post had been quoted twice on the relevant Talk page, they eventually took the fictional content down, a mere fourteen years after the first objection to it had been raised, and long after the "information" it contained had escaped into the wilds of the internet.

Grant Hutchison

[KaiYeves]

Hey, I managed to change an entry in Wikipedia! All I needed to do was write a blog post pointing out that it contained stuff that had just plain been made up by an editor, then wait two years. After my post had been quoted twice on the relevant Talk page, they eventually took the fictional content down, a mere fourteen years after the first objection to it had been raised, and long after the "information" it contained had escaped into the wilds of the internet.

Grant Hutchison

It sounds like a Classicist was trying to encourage people to use what they thought were proper Greek names.

[DonM435]

Yesterday I put together the new patio furniture my wife wanted. Part way through the process it started t rain, so I went inside to wait it out. My wife asked why I had come inside.

"It's raining."

"No, it's not. There's no rain in the forecast for today."

Silly me.

ETA: 0.4" of "no rain."

"Remember the weather guy said 'a ten per cent chance of rain'? Well, it's ten-percenting like crazy out there!"

[Solfe]

We accidentally destroyed a microwave at work. A bag of popcorn was put in for 40 minutes instead of 4. We caught on to what was happening when smoke filled the room. We got to use a fire extinguisher that day.


We have a new microwave. The new microwave plays a couple of random songs when it is done, instead of simple "ding!". I've heard La Cucaracha, The Shock of Miss Louise, Rain Drops Keep Falling On Head, and a few that I can't identify.


This behavior in an appliance is so odd, for weeks we didn't know what was happening. The microwave would finish, play a song and everyone would check their phone trying to figure out where the music was coming from. Then they would complain that the microwave never alerted them that it was done cooking... Slowly, we figured it out one by one. But only because someone was in the breakroom by themselves and realized what was happening, which is a lousy way to communicate with other people.


What is very annoying is, we can either let it play a random song or only one from a list. The list is labeled song 1, song 2, song 3 and so on. None of the choices are good.


One of my coworkers is a comedian. When he's on break, he will play Song 2 by Blur when the microwave is done. I told him microwave pizza isn't that exciting. The amusing bit is, he is actually good at selecting ironic music for whatever meal you are eating.

[publiusr]

"Somebody's knocking but they can't come in"

[grant hutchison]

It sounds like a Classicist was trying to encourage people to use what they thought were proper Greek names.

It was ... odd. The person seemed to be unconcerned that the words they had tabulated were largely self-generated neologisms, even when it was pointed out that these words had no currency in the real world. As usual, the infamous "citation needed" tag was nowhere to be seen, where it actually might have done some good, and a casual browser would have needed to burrow through the Talk page to come across any hint that there might be a problem with the terminology listed. As it is, the misleading list has now been copied so widely around the internet, it will never die.
Anyway, writing about the problem gave me a little fun, which is more than I'd have had if I got involved with trying to edit the page myself.

Grant Hutchison

[grant hutchison]

We accidentally destroyed a microwave at work. A bag of popcorn was put in for 40 minutes instead of 4. We caught on to what was happening when smoke filled the room.

It amazes me that cognitively intact people can forget what they're doing to that extent. Waiting for popcorn that they've just started to cook ... and then within a few minutes blithely unaware of the lack of popcorn in their lives. No mental alarm bells at all. How do they get through the day? Or did they really think it was 40-minute popcorn?

Grant Hutchison

[The Backroad Astronomer]

Every once and while they try to get professional football in my region the country (CFL not NFL), since the population is law there is a bit of fight over which city gets to host the exhibition game. In a few days they will have on a university campus, but except for people who need accessible parking none of the parking at the university will be used.

[Solfe]

It amazes me that cognitively intact people can forget what they're doing to that extent. Waiting for popcorn that they've just started to cook ... and then within a few minutes blithely unaware of the lack of popcorn in their lives. No mental alarm bells at all. How do they get through the day? Or did they really think it was 40-minute popcorn?

Grant Hutchison

We aren't cognitive intact. Most of the students have a primary diagnosis of autism, but not necessarily the only diagnosis. They get to use the kitchen and break facilities, too. Object permanence is not even a given for some of our adult students, let alone reading, math and time telling. Trying to wrangle six learners with a variety of dissimilar cognitive limitations is difficult.

My class stood outside six times last week as the fire engines rolled up. And no one was cooking popcorn. Three times in one day. One child pulled the fire alarm in front a student from a different class. That student preceded to do the same exact thing, which lead to the fire alarm being pull the last time.

Sigh.

As frustrating as it was, it is better than the alternative. Two of the kiddos pulling the alarms did so because this is their first year in school. Heck, they aren't even potty trained and they are theoretically third graders or older. (8-10 years old).

[grant hutchison]

We aren't cognitive intact. Most of the students have a primary diagnosis of autism, but not necessarily the only diagnosis. They get to use the kitchen and break facilities, too.

Okay, that makes sense now. The original narrative about the break-room microwave and a coworker kind of set the story up as relating to staff members. And I do know cognitively intact adults who make that kind of error - I worked with a couple.

Grant Hutchison

[Trebuchet]

We aren't cognitive intact. Most of the students have a primary diagnosis of autism, but not necessarily the only diagnosis. They get to use the kitchen and break facilities, too. Object permanence is not even a given for some of our adult students, let alone reading, math and time telling. Trying to wrangle six learners with a variety of dissimilar cognitive limitations is difficult.

My class stood outside six times last week as the fire engines rolled up. And no one was cooking popcorn. Three times in one day. One child pulled the fire alarm in front a student from a different class. That student preceded to do the same exact thing, which lead to the fire alarm being pull the last time.

Sigh.

As frustrating as it was, it is better than the alternative. Two of the kiddos pulling the alarms did so because this is their first year in school. Heck, they aren't even potty trained and they are theoretically third graders or older. (8-10 years old).

Once again, I applaud you for being a special ed teacher!

When I was in elementary school, the alarm went off one day when the teachers weren't expecting a drill. We were hustled out rather quickly and about every fire truck in town turned up. It turned out one of the janitors was trying to clean the alarm handle thing.

[Solfe]

Once again, I applaud you for being a special ed teacher!

I'm a building sub, technically, a social studies education teacher who happens to work in a very limited, special ed setting. It's kind of rare for me to be doing what I am doing. It's also kind of rare for a school to be specialized in one particular area, such as autism.

[Solfe]

Okay, that makes sense now. The original narrative about the break-room microwave and a coworker kind of set the story up as relating to staff members. And I do know cognitively intact adults who make that kind of error - I worked with a couple.

Grant Hutchison

There really isn't any area of the school that is off limits to students. The fire escape stairs are one, the kiln area is the other. I can't tell you how many times I have seen a student come out of the one faculty bathroom. We have endless debates about that one.

Last year, I had a student that seemed to be completely illiterate until he accessed the break room. He read a sign that said: "You can now purchase snacks with an IOU. Please settle your account on payday." He bought $20.00 worth of snacks with IOUs, with my name on them, plus the date and the correct dollar amount. The really comedy was he was a creature of habit and also wrote his name on the top of every IOU. It was worth $20 bucks to know that he could read, tell the date, write and do proper math far more than he let on.

The same student tried to tell me he was afraid to read aloud. I asked him if knew what that was called. He said, "no" so I told him "Nothing, no one is afraid to read aloud." The next day he told me he googled it and the answer was... I can't remember what the word is.

Having gotten an answer, I asked him if he could read silently to the class. After a minute or two another student said, "I can't hear anything", so the first student raised his voice. That's pretty much how it goes in that classroom now.

The second student is now in a different class, but always asks: "Are we fooling around, or can I read out loud?"