If I'm not mistaken (I could be, as I wouldn't touch the stuff if you paid me), there is stuff available in the US that calls itself absinthe. However, since the toxic chemicals that make it true absinthe are illegal in beverages sold in the US, it isn't. Wormwood sure isn't good for you, though it isn't, apparently, the worst of the ingredients in the stuff. If you must consume poison (and don't kid yourself; alcohol is, technically, a poison), one a little less lethal is probably your best bet.
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Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"