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Thread: Snappy Answers

  1. #1
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    Snappy Answers

    If you’re old enough, you may remember, in Mad Magazine, Al Jaffe’s Snappy answers to stupid questions. I’d like to try it with a bit of a twist. Instead of stupid questions, let’s try common questions about science and technology.

    Post a question and a snappy answer. Alternatively, try to one-up someone else’s answer(s) to his own question.

    Some examples to kick it off:

    Q: What’s the difference between astronomy and astrology?
    A: One is a path that can lead to fame and fortune while the other leads only to fame.
    A: There are degrees of separation.
    A: You can get a B.S in one while the other is B.S.

    Q: Will Jupiter ever become a star?
    A: He’s got no talent. But who can tell? You kids and your music…
    A: Is there a couch big enough for the “audition”?
    A: He had a promising start but now he seems to be just going in circles.

    Q: Why don’t I fall off the Earth since it’s spinning?
    A: Chuck Norris…’nuff said.

  2. #2
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    I remember snappy answers to stupid questions ...

    How come I remember it?

  3. #3
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    Is that a string tied around your finger? Or just an experiment with gangrene?

  4. #4
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    Obviously I am isolating my blood.

    Do cats know they have nine lives?

  5. #5
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    How would I know? I've never been a cat.

    What's the largest meteor that could hit the earth?

  6. #6
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    On land, elephants are the meatiest, but overall, whales are even meteor.

    Should Pluto be a planet?

  7. #7
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    What, being a pet for the world's most famous mouse isn't enough?

    Can "Preparation A" save us from asteroids?

  8. #8
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    That's for teenagers, not rock-stars.

    Can a space elevator be built all the way to the moon?

  9. #9
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    Bend over and I'll take some measurements.

    Why are STS missions always delayed?

  10. #10
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    Because STS actually stands for "Shuttles Travel Sporadically"

    Why is Earth round?

  11. #11
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    Who said it was Wrounde? That's a rock group: http://launch.yahoo.com/track/22455672

    Don't you know your music?

  12. #12
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    No, but my impresario always has these lyrics print-outs so it's a non-issue.

    Is that a telescope in your back yard?
    With sufficient thrust, water towers fly just fine.

  13. #13
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    No, I'm just happy to see you.

    Is that Mercury up in the sky?

  14. #14
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    Yeah, probably as high as Don Camillo's opinion of Peppone.

    Can I see M31 from my kitchen window?

  15. #15
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    And Rome? Da! (Andromeda)

    Can you see Uranus with a mirror?

  16. #16
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    I can see yours if you can see mine.

    Is that a shuttle docked to your bike?
    With sufficient thrust, water towers fly just fine.

  17. #17
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    My favorite from the book was the "Are you a magician?" bit. To long for here though.

    My favorite short one:

    Guy walking thru the edge of the surf, coming up the beach. Lady asks "Went for a morning swim heh?"

    His snappy answer:

    "No, I just strolled over from Europe."

  18. #18
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    A neighbor visting our house and seeing all my books asked why I had so many books that said Einstein?

    I study the history of relativity, I responded.

    He then asked: Well.. how far back does your family tree go?

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