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Thread: Worthless superpowers

  1. #91
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    Being able to resolve features of galaxies billions of lightyears away with your naked eye. It might not be useless, but it's definitely going to be more trouble than it's worth as far as living goes, I'll leave it to you to figure out why.
    In my BA comics, this is one of his most-used powers.
    "Ears like Arecibo
    Eyes like Hubble
    This guy's set
    To stamp out trouble."
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
    In my BA comics, this is one of his most-used powers.
    "Ears like Arecibo
    Eyes like Hubble
    This guy's set
    To stamp out trouble."
    It's great, if it comes with an off-switch.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  3. #93
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    Lingo Man:The ability to turn a phrase

    Limbo Man: The ability to move under a bar in a nonexistent place

    Bar Man: The ability to walk into anything

    Wander Woman: Can shop aimlessly in a mall from opening to closing without actually buying anything

    Rouge: Permanently borrows facial makeup, leaving other's faces blah.

    Sidekick: The uncanny ability to get the superhero he hangs around with in trouble

    Auntie Planck: She always knows exactly where she is and how fast she's going

  4. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    Wander Woman: Can shop aimlessly in a mall from opening to closing without actually buying anything
    That seems to be a fairly common superpower in the real world.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  5. #95
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    It's great, if it comes with an off-switch.
    Yeah, it's a voluntary power, but he uses a very minor version of it all the time to keep from having to wear glasses.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  6. #96
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    The power to make phone booths explode by changing clothes in them.
    (bonus points if you know where that one's from)
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  7. #97
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    The power to make phone booths explode by changing clothes in them.
    (bonus points if you know where that one's from)
    In the MythBusters superhero special, they tried to see how fast they could change clothes in a phone booth, but they didn't blow one up. So, no idea.
    The power to look at an archival photo and know where it was taken and when. My local newspaper has a weekly contest where they bring out a nostalgic photo and offer a free T-Shirt to the first person who calls in with that information.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  8. #98
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    The power to make others laugh at your own jokes!

    The power to shave by only using your hands!

    The power to see distant objects up close...but only when they're over 100 km away!

  9. #99
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    The power to look at a food and know if it's healthy or not.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  10. #100
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    That actually might be useful.



    The ability to make food un-moldly...and yet still not be edible!

  11. #101
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    You know, one of the things I'm noticing is that there are probably useful ways to use any enhancement in ability, no matter how trivial seeming or ridiculous.

  12. #102
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    Most of mine have been "nice to have in everyday life, but useless when fighting evil".
    Ability to locate anyone with red hair within a three mile radius.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  13. #103
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    The power to see in the dark, but only when the lights are on.

    The power to walk right through air.

    The power to breathe under a sea of ketchup.

    The power to translate a dead language that was never written down.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  14. #104
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    It also interests me how many comic characters have powers that are techno-specific; like, what if you developed the power to communicate with computers when you lived in the Stone Age?
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  15. #105
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    In the first book of the Xanth series, "A Spell for Camaleoen" by Piers Anothey. All humans were required to demonstration in public their magical ability or be banished.

    An exception was made for a boy who could change the color of his liquid waste product stream.

  16. #106
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    The power to write like a great author, but your teacher will always think you plagarised and give you detention.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  17. #107
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    FED MAN - Able to raise interest rates 1/4 of a percent!
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  18. #108
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    Remote viewing... but only of your coat closet at home.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  19. #109
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    The ability to displace the molecules of your underwear 3 feet to the left.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  20. #110
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    The ability to confuse hamdingers and spam!

    The ability to consume large amounts of tabasco sauce!

    The ability to inflate tires to 35 psi with your finger!

  21. #111
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    i thought men would like the ability to understand women!
    have the ability to turn back time and rectify your mistakes.
    the ability to turn invisible and listen to private conversations
    read someones mind to see if they are telling the truth
    the ability to know the guilty from the innocent.
    the ability to go into a burning building and save someone without being burned to a crisp.

  22. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrissy View Post
    i thought men would like the ability to understand women!
    have the ability to turn back time and rectify your mistakes.
    the ability to turn invisible and listen to private conversations
    read someones mind to see if they are telling the truth
    the ability to know the guilty from the innocent.
    the ability to go into a burning building and save someone without being burned to a crisp.
    ...None of them are worthless.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  23. #113
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    The ability to lower the humidity in a room to 60%

    The ability to predict the destination of trains!

    The ability to make oatmeal into concrete!

    The ability to turn Pez into chalk!

    The ability to tell how many electron volts are flowing through appliances!

  24. #114
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    The ability to cause the little wiggly things you see in your eyes when you stare into the Sun to form words and shapes only you can see.

    EDIT: They're apparently just called Floaters.
    Last edited by Noclevername; 2007-Nov-03 at 08:35 PM. Reason: we all float down here!
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  25. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noclevername View Post
    ...None of them are worthless.
    knowing what women want would be worthless because we change our minds all the time you wouldnt keep up

  26. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrissy View Post
    knowing what women want would be worthless because we change our minds all the time you wouldnt keep up
    Heck, we've already got that now.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  27. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noclevername View Post
    Heck, we've already got that now.
    thought you just let us get on with it

  28. #118
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    Back on the ranch...


    The ability to manipulate salad dressing!

    The ability to make sense of word salad!

    The ability to turn Ceaser salad into ordinary salad!

  29. #119
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    Ability to look at a jet airliner and know what airline it is from without seeing any markings.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  30. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grand_Lunar View Post
    The ability to turn Ceaser salad into ordinary salad!
    The ability to seize 'er salad!
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

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