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Thread: What Kind of Collider Are You?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
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    13,886

    What Kind of Collider Are You?

    I am the Large Meatball Collider. By colliding meatballs at near-lightspeed, the LMC intends to create conditions similar to the early universe, seeking the elusive 'God" (FSM) Particle.

    Or at least its noodly appendages.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Just a bit above Paradise
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    Large llama collider. Once the llama streams build up enough speed, they are collided. The energetic collisions, in theory, should result in llama pair annihilation and yield various decay products. The ultimate goal is to produce the elusive pushmi-pullyu. If the LLC fails to work, the Large Antelope Collider will be built next.

  3. #3
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    Jul 2003
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    13,886
    For years I have been trying to get funds for the Large Black Walnut Collider (LBWC). As anyone who has attempted it knows, the only way to crack a black walnut is to hit it against something at an appreciable fraction of c. Using the collider with counterrotating walnut streams, two could be cracked at once.

    I have been personally offended by those who mock me and what they call my "Big Nut Buster". No walnuts for you!

  4. #4
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    Jul 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    .....No walnuts for you!
    we use conkers......

    http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch...s/conkers.html

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    4,778
    I'm the Huge Amounts of Stimulants collider.
    I collide large amounts of caffeine, sugar, and other trace stimulants such as chinine in my belly. The result will hopefully be invisibility as I start to vibrate so fast I phase out and can't be seen by the naked eye any more.

    Or maybe it's just crunchtime at the software farm.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Bend, Oregon
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    6,162
    I'm the Instrument Uncertainty Collider - I smash random and bias errors together in hopes of producing a system performance prediction methodology that improves upon our current gold standard in the field: SWAG.

    So far, it's been entirely unsuccessful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    Newton Aycliffe. UK.
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    21,687
    I have been trying to seek the clash two heads together collider. CTHC. It will knock sense into the senseless, with the attempt to make a higher intelligent life form.
    The real art of conversation is not only saying the right thing at the right moment but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the most tempting moment. -- unknown

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    1,046
    I'm a Sitchin Fan Collider.

    If you make the Anunnaki mad, you'll get collided.

  9. #9
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    Jul 2004
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    Collide O'Scope, man of 'super cool idears'!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    16,216
    I have been trying to seek the clash two heads together collider. CTHC. It will knock sense into the senseless, with the attempt to make a higher intelligent life form.
    I'll help.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

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