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Thread: Old Jokes

  1. #1
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    Old Jokes

    Interesting story hit the news today.

    Ancient Greeks pre-empted Monty Python

    The 1,600-year-old work entitled "Philogelos: The Laugh Addict," one of the world's oldest joke books, features a joke in which a man complains that a slave he has just bought has died, its publisher said on Friday.
    "By the gods," answers the slave's seller, "when he was with me, he never did any such thing!"
    And the ever popular...

    In one, the student dunce goes to the city and a friend asks him to buy two 15-year-old slaves: "No problem,' responds the dunce. "If I don't find two 15-year-olds, I'll get one 30-year-old.'
    There's more of a sampling here on the publisher's site.

    It's interesting that the comedy hasn't changed much.

  2. #2
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    Then, of course, there's Socrates' logic traps:
    "Do you agree that truth is good?"
    "Yes."
    "Do you agree that truth is not telling lies?"
    "Yes."
    "Do you agree that rabid dogs do not tell lies?"
    "Yes."
    "Then if you agree that truth is good, and that truth is not telling lies, and that rabid dogs do not tell lies, then you must think that rabid dogs are good!"
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  3. #3
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    I've told it before on this board, but here it is again: I've seen a very old book where Universe models are discussed. At the part where the text goes something like "these days, most researchers consider the sun as the centre of the Universe, whereas the model having the earth at center is losing popularity due to conflicting observations", the copier wrote on the side of the page "some researchers like to think of themselves as the centre of the Universe". I don't know how old the book was, but at least 600 years IIRC, and back then they also had these rimshot one-liners.
    With sufficient thrust, water towers fly just fine.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
    Then, of course, there's Socrates' logic traps:
    "Do you agree that truth is good?"
    "Yes."
    "Do you agree that truth is not telling lies?"
    "Yes."
    "Do you agree that rabid dogs do not tell lies?"
    "Yes."
    "Then if you agree that truth is good, and that truth is not telling lies, and that rabid dogs do not tell lies, then you must think that rabid dogs are good!"

    NOW do you understand why he was poisoned?


    Can I remember...... I think....

    Why are fire engines red? (ca. 4th grade, I'd guess)

    1 + 1 = 2

    2 + 2 = 4

    4 x 3 = 12

    12 inches in a ruler

    ruler = Queen Elizabeth

    Queen Elizabeth = boat

    boat sails on ocean

    Ocean contains fish

    fish have fins

    Finns fought Russians

    Russians were Reds

    so, fire engines are red because they
    are always Russian around.

  5. #5
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    Is this old enough?

    man to doctor; "I have a lettuce growing out of my bottom"
    Sceptical doctor:
    "Drop your trousers then. Let's have a look at it.
    "My god! There is a lettuce leaf there!"

    man: "Yes, and that's just the tip of the iceberg."

  6. #6
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    I know an old one about a tapeworm and lemons, but really can't put it here. But...


    "Waiter! Come over here and taste my soup."

    "Why, Sir? Is something wrong with it?"

    "Just taste the soup."

    "Is it too cold, Sir?"

    "Just taste the soup."

    "Very well, Sir..... where's the spoon?"

    "Ah - HAH!"

  7. #7
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    The 1,600-year-old work entitled "Philogelos: The Laugh Addict," one of the world's oldest joke books, features a joke in which a man complains that a slave he has just bought has died, its publisher said on Friday.
    "By the gods," answers the slave's seller, "when he was with me, he never did any such thing!"
    Hey, don't forget, try the baklava. I'll be here all week!
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
    Then, of course, there's Socrates' logic traps
    I thought "Hey, I heard that one before!", wondered for a bit, and then realised that it has a striking resemblance to the average CT and ATM post.

    Threw some of the old jokes in IRC.. nobody laughed.
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