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Thread: Take an Untrue Fact! (!!!)

  1. #1
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    Take an Untrue Fact! (!!!)

    The Borough of Fenwick has changed its name to "Catherine Hepburn Never Lived Here."

    continued from here
    Last edited by slang; 2016-Jan-04 at 10:22 PM. Reason: traceback url added

  2. #2
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    I didn't go to work today because my scuba gear isn't working.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  3. #3
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    I lent my pancreas to a friend of mine and now he won't give it back. So I'm keeping his power drill.

  4. #4
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    I'm eating four fried chickens, some white bread...and a Coke.

    I'm famished after gunning my former police car through a crowd of Illinois Nazis on a bridge, forcing them to throw themselves over and into the river.
    Dip me in ink and toss me to the Poets.

  5. #5
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    It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.


    I believe this sums up life.

    Hit it.

  6. #6
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    ...and tonight we're jamming at Bob's Country Bunker.

    We'll pretend the beer is "on the house", right?
    Dip me in ink and toss me to the Poets.

  7. #7
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    It'll be OK, I got my pack of Chesterfields.

  8. #8
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    Right on.

    But I'm worried about that ex-fiancee of yours. You know: The one who reads blow-torch manuals while polishing her nails?

    Let's stay clear of ALL phone booths. Okay?
    Dip me in ink and toss me to the Poets.

  9. #9
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    It's sad, really, but I have no idea what you guys are talking about. You'll have to excuse me now because I have to go to the county assessor's office to pay some back taxes. I just hope the guy who keeps pitching movie plots to me isn't there. I hate that guy.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  10. #10
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    We're on East Lower Whacker Avenue now...VROOOOM!!

    Uh oh! That Nazi guy is chasing us; his toadie is driving.

    Hey...let's lure them onto that unfinished overpass! **snicker**
    Dip me in ink and toss me to the Poets.

  11. #11
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    Moderators are now authorized to hit disappointing members with rulers, particularly if they have filthy mouths and bad attitudes.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  12. #12
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    Awesome!

  13. #13
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    You are all wrong, this is not a new thread, split off from the Leave an Untrue Fact! (!!!) thread, and particularly not because the old thread had over 5000 posts. Why would you even think such a thing?

    And no the title is exactly the same, of course it is, I mean its the same thread.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  14. #14
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    For posting in an already closed thread, the ruler thwacks for you, Swift.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  15. #15
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    Queen Thwacks was the first female ruler of Babylon, ruling from 53 BC to 37 BC.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    Queen Thwacks was the first female ruler of Babylon, ruling from 53 BC to 37 BC.
    Except for the period 49–48 BC when she was vacationing with friends at Meno Beach in southern Mesopotamia. Similar to modern day spring break, this was known at the time as the Meno Pause.
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    Man is a tool-using animal. Nowhere do you find him without tools; without tools he is nothing, with tools he is all. — Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

  17. #17
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    Mods have no sense of humor.

  18. #18
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    WACKER Drive! Lower WACKER Drive!

    Argh! Argh! It's... it's... a PET PEEVE coming on!







    By the way, what do others feed their pet peeve?
    I usually let mine forage for itself.

  19. #19
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    I usually feed my pet peeves candied violets, except for the ones I have to feed raw livers. Sometimes, they just graze on my disappointments and leftover resentments.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  20. #20
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    Liver is a dish best served cold, to somebody you deeply love.

  21. #21
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    Impersonal attacks are now considered courtship.

  22. #22
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    The term "courtship" derives from the ancient Viking custom of royalty taking their mistresses out in a knórr, so they could have their assignation in private.

  23. #23
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    Every Thursday I tie a roast chicken to the back of my car, turn up my favourite mixtape of classical music to full volume and drive through the business district shirtless while tweaking my nipples.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoons View Post
    Every Thursday I tie a roast chicken to the back of my car, turn up my favourite mixtape of classical music to full volume and drive through the business district shirtless while tweaking my nipples.
    That is not close to enough information. Do you have a video, or maybe a PowerPoint presentation?
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  25. #25
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    Before the invention of the rubber chicken, comedians tried to use rubber flank steaks, but they weren't funny enough.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  26. #26
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    "The Onion" to charge for content, starting 2011.

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Argos View Post
    "The Onion" to charge for content, starting 2011.
    Retroactive from 2011 BC, that's to say.

  28. #28
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    I have a rubber onion that's hilarious at certain parties. I bang it against a rubber liver and yell, "IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!"

  29. #29
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    Before the invention of rubber, comedians had to use real chickens.

  30. #30
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    Camilla the Chicken of "The Muppets" fame, who Gonzo was madly in love with, was actually a rooster in drag.
    Dip me in ink and toss me to the Poets.

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